Wife left me for another man

[Nivek]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I disagree. If she is in her 20's I can see this happening more. If she is in her 30's I can see it happening too, but if she is in her 40's. Then there is some serious problems with the lady. Especially if the kids are young. A mother would not do that to her kids. Sure it happens, but still.

Age doesn't equal maturity, plus you have no idea what she was like in her 20's and 30's. Maybe she had signs all along but we're ignored because she was - according to the OP - gorgeous. Batsh*t crazy doesn't discriminate.

[longshadow11]

Re: Wife left me for another man

How old is your wife and are you about the same age as her? I just don't see how a lady in her late 30's or older can do this to her children. If she in her late 30's or older?

I'm 42 and she's 41. Our girls are 15 and 6.

The other night at supper my 6 year old was saying she's going to be a flower girl at mom's wedding. My oldest daughter and I almost lost it. My youngest asked if I have a girlfriend, and I said no way. My oldest told her that what her mom is doing is wrong. It's a tough situation; my oldest understands everything and my youngest is confused. Hell, I'm confused. It was just over a year ago I was taking care of my wife and kids after she broke her leg. I was her hero back then. Now, she treats me like dirt.

It's easy to say "forget her, she's not worth it!" but we have two kids and were married for 18 years. I loved her. I can't imagine her doing this and it tears me up to think of her with another man. I keep having dreams in which she comes home and we are a family again. I wake up at 4 AM and can't get back to sleep. Right now I'm in a living hell. I've started praying that God would prepare me for another wife and that she and I will have a fantastic marriage. The thought of that and taking care of my girls are the only things which keep me going.

Man, life is tough right now. I don't have enough money to make it to the end of the month. I have a huge mortgage to pay. I have all of these problems on top of me all at the same time. Avoid divorce at all costs! It is horrible. Especially when you love the person divorcing you. The only thing I can do is have faith that God is gonna see my girls and me through this.

[Phobia]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I'm 42 and she's 41. Our girls are 15 and 6.

The other night at supper my 6 year old was saying she's going to be a flower girl at mom's wedding. My oldest daughter and I almost lost it. My youngest asked if I have a girlfriend, and I said no way. My oldest told her that what her mom is doing is wrong. It's a tough situation; my oldest understands everything and my youngest is confused. Hell, I'm confused. It was just over a year ago I was taking care of my wife and kids after she broke her leg. I was her hero back then. Now, she treats me like dirt.

It's easy to say "forget her, she's not worth it!" but we have two kids and were married for 18 years. I loved her. I can't imagine her doing this and it tears me up to think of her with another man. I keep having dreams in which she comes home and we are a family again. I wake up at 4 AM and can't get back to sleep. Right now I'm in a living hell. I've started praying that God would prepare me for another wife and that she and I will have a fantastic marriage. The thought of that and taking care of my girls are the only things which keep me going.

Man, life is tough right now. I don't have enough money to make it to the end of the month. I have a huge mortgage to pay. I have all of these problems on top of me all at the same time. Avoid divorce at all costs! It is horrible. Especially when you love the person divorcing you. The only thing I can do is have faith that God is gonna see my girls and me through this.

I won't say I completely understand the extent of what you are going through but I will say I have a general idea. let me explain a situation that happened to me some years back.

I was dating this girl for 5 years. We were living together for 3 of those years. Everything of going perfect and we were getting married the following year.

I then had a fishing/hunting trip that was down towards the Mexico boarder. It was a week long trip. I had all my bags packed, was excited to go because last time I was there I caught a 7 pound bass so i was amped to catch some big fish. She kissed me on the way out, told me she loved me and to have fun.

2 days into the trip I called her one night to chat for a sec before we went to bed to get up early for the morning hunt. Well out of the total blue, she tells me "I am leaving". I am 6 hours from this witch and this is how she is going to end it. Plus there was no reason to end it, everything was great. We never even fought.

So I told her, "I am on my way home right now". I hung up the phone and had someone drive me to the nearest bus station (which was like hour and half away). I hopped on a bus at like midnight and got home back in Lafayette around 6am.

I then WALK to my house about 10 miles from the bus station. I get to my house only to find NOTHING in my house. I literally mean NOTHING, she even took the damn toilet paper. So I then have to go on a man hunt to find her and my car which she also took.

Now remember we have been together 5 years at this point and never even fought so much as had any issue what so ever to cause her to do this to me.

Long story short, I find her(find out she been cheating on me and moved everything out the day I left). Get my car back, basically write the crap off as a lesson learned and moved on with my life the very next "month" because I spent a good month completely drunk. It was not the correct way to deal with it, but it helped for the mean time.

I then moved on, bought all new stuff and started dating new girls again. But 3 YEARS later, she tried getting back with me.

I was sleeping in my bed room with some random girl I hooked up with the night before. I get a very faint knock on my door at like 5am. I open the door and find my sister (who was living with me) and she tells me. "What is Jamie doing in the living room?"

I was shocked beyond what you could imagine. This chick broke INTO my apartment and tried to get into my bedroom to "try and make things better, But the door was locked." This is what she told me. So it was quite the surprised when some random girl who I did not even know her name walked out to go get in her car to leave.

I told her this "You made your decision to leave. That is something YOU have to live with, not me. I know I did everything any other girl would of wanted. Karma is a bitch and now you have got what you deserved from the start."

I then told her I hope everything in her life goes well and wish her the best and I went on with my life.

This might not be completely along the lines of what you are going through. But the one thing I learned with that is. Be comfortably with who YOU are. If you live as a good person and did the right things. DO NOT stress on "What could of been". Because you did your part. Let HER stress later when everything falls apart "On what could have been".

Keep your head high my man

[RoyalBoyle78]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I say take a deep breath again, Have your parents or famliy watch the children for a few days and book a trip to Vegas and let it all out.

Don't be upset, just a thought.

[Phobia]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I say take a deep breath again, Have your parents or famliy watch the children for a few days and book a trip to Vegas and let it all out.

Don't be upset, just a thought.

That is the general idea behind my story and what happened to me. The situation sucks and everyone will be in agreement about it. But you can't let the sorrow consume you. You have to look at the positives that will come out of it, looking at only the negatives will bring nothing into your life but pain, anger, and depression.

[RoyalBoyle78]

Re: Wife left me for another man

That is the general idea behind my story and what happened to me. The situation sucks and everyone will be in agreement about it. But you can't let the sorrow consume you. You have to look at the positives that will come out of it, looking at only the negatives will bring nothing into your life but pain, anger, and depression.

I have been through a lot in my life, things like this too, it hurts man, but like you said you have to keep busy and just know it gets better.

[nemesis04]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I say take a deep breath again, Have your parents or famliy watch the children for a few days and book a trip to Vegas and let it all out.

Don't be upset, just a thought.

The guy is struggling financially and you want him to go to Vegas?

[GSW]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I'm 42 and she's 41. Our girls are 15 and 6.

The other night at supper my 6 year old was saying she's going to be a flower girl at mom's wedding. My oldest daughter and I almost lost it. My youngest asked if I have a girlfriend, and I said no way. My oldest told her that what her mom is doing is wrong. It's a tough situation; my oldest understands everything and my youngest is confused. Hell, I'm confused. It was just over a year ago I was taking care of my wife and kids after she broke her leg. I was her hero back then. Now, she treats me like dirt.

It's easy to say "forget her, she's not worth it!" but we have two kids and were married for 18 years. I loved her. I can't imagine her doing this and it tears me up to think of her with another man. I keep having dreams in which she comes home and we are a family again. I wake up at 4 AM and can't get back to sleep. Right now I'm in a living hell. I've started praying that God would prepare me for another wife and that she and I will have a fantastic marriage. The thought of that and taking care of my girls are the only things which keep me going.

Man, life is tough right now. I don't have enough money to make it to the end of the month. I have a huge mortgage to pay. I have all of these problems on top of me all at the same time. Avoid divorce at all costs! It is horrible. Especially when you love the person divorcing you. The only thing I can do is have faith that God is gonna see my girls and me through this.

This is why i dont personally beleive in "Love"... for anything but your own offspring.

Really sorry to hear about your situation though man...you'll get through it though man

[Flightwhite24]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I have been through a lot in my life, things like this too, it hurts man, but like you said you have to keep busy and just know it gets better.

Good advice FF, things will get better. Just have to let it run it's course. "TIME" will take care of you and you will be a better person in the end. Keep doing the right things with the kids and praying and it will work itself out in the end. Peace!!!!

[jeremym480]

Re: Wife left me for another man

That is the general idea behind my story and what happened to me. The situation sucks and everyone will be in agreement about it. But you can't let the sorrow consume you. You have to look at the positives that will come out of it, looking at only the negatives will bring nothing into your life but pain, anger, and depression.

Great Post!!

Gary, man keep your head up and keep doing things the right way and things will work out. Sure thing's are tough now and I'm sure you have some tough times in your future but, don't let this witch win. Don't sink to her level and get into any kind of verbal wars with her. I know your already don't a great job at this but, continue to do so and your daughters will grow to respect you more and more, especially when they get older.

See if your bank will work out some sort of deferred payments or something like that. I don't know of many financial institutions that are unwilling to work with their customer's this day and age. Go to them and explain your situation if you have to heck, you never know unless you ask.

Also, like I said, I know it's tough because she's the Mother of your children and all but, don't let what this witch did to you define you. This isn't the end of your life hell, it could even be the start of a new one. Don't fall into that world of hatred and depression because if you do it's a hard world to get out of. Once you get some things worked out financially start looking to date because you can't stay at home all the time. Depression will eventually sink in so, you have to stay busy. Maybe you should try online dating. That's where I met my girlfriend and I think most women on there are more stable than women out in bar's and such.

Anyways, good luck man, I'll continue following your story and I really hope that things start looking up for you.

[LionsFanNJ]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I've read the thread and someone once told me the best advice ever. One door closes to open another. Things will get better with time.

[MassNole]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I am so relieved to read you hired the "best attorney" you could find. I just hope he is filing on the grounds of adultery for you. Some judges HATE it when it is done but here you need to.

[Money99]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Gary, I really feel for you man. I'll be praying for you and your family.

I've seen this before. Chances are your wife was going through a period of depression or other emotional issues.
She finds someone else going through the same thing and they begin an affair.
This only helps split the divide between you and her even more.

It's times like these where I wish the person who has issues didn't talk about them sooner or seek professional assistance. It probably would have stopped all the nonsense before it started.

What makes me really angry is how it affects the kids. Clearly she's not thinking properly, or only for herself, if she's willing to toss her kids aside and barely see them.

This might not be too much of a consolation, but the bond you'll form between your daughters will be incredible. In the long run, you'll see the rewards for your efforts while your wife will reap what she sowed.
She'll probably die a lonely, bitter woman, if she doesn't get her head straight.

Good luck and God bless.

[Pared]

Re: Wife left me for another man

The guy is struggling financially and you want him to go to Vegas?

Ha, just like Everybody Loves Raymond.

[Money99]

Re: Wife left me for another man

To the OP.
The reason why she has so much hatred for you is because she hates herself, but would rather point the finger to anyone but her.

And he hates you for being the strong reason of voice in all of this. She knows you're the better person and she despises you for it.

Stay strong and whatever you do, don't bad mouth your wife in front of your kids. Let her do as much mudslinging as possible. It'll only make her look bad.

I have a friend who's going through this same thing and both his and your story sound identical.
Move on man. This woman isn't the girl you fell in love with. If she's so willing to give up on her kids, what does that say about her? You and your girls are better off without her.

Good luck. My prayers are with everyone involved.