Wife left me for another man

[longshadow11]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Quick Update.

A woman who has been helping me get through this told me she knows a lady at my school who is going through the same thing. I have noticed her before. She seems to be very sweet and is attractive. In fact, I saw her walking down the hall the other day and thought, "Man, I wish she was single." I hate that she is going through hell just like I am, but who knows? She might be someone I could help if nothing else. She probably thinks men are sorry just like I feel about women. It would do us good to find out there are good potential mates out there. I don't know how I would approach her. One thing is for certain. I'm not playing games with women, especially one who has been beaten by her husband. If I do attempt a relationship with her, she's gonna get the nicest treatment I can put forth. If she feels anything like I do, having someone just be nice is gonna pick her up. I hope I get the chance to at least be her friend.

My oldest daughter isn't doing too well. She passed out at school and almost did at work. I think it's anxiety. She is so disappointed in her mother.

I get my girls in church every Sunday, but it's rough for me. Sitting there without my wife surrounded by couples isn't fun. Then the songs start, and one always gets me. Today the pastor talked some about marriage and it made me feel like a failure. I got choked up and my daughter hugged on me a little. I really don't like her seeing how much this has affected me, but she said anyone with a heart would be hurting.

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Quick Update.

A woman who has been helping me get through this told me she knows a lady at my school who is going through the same thing. I have noticed her before. She seems to be very sweet and is attractive. In fact, I saw her walking down the hall the other day and thought, "Man, I wish she was single." I hate that she is going through hell just like I am, but who knows? She might be someone I could help if nothing else. She probably thinks men are sorry just like I feel about women. It would do us good to find out there are good potential mates out there. I don't know how I would approach her. One thing is for certain. I'm not playing games with women, especially one who has been beaten by her husband. If I do attempt a relationship with her, she's gonna get the nicest treatment I can put forth. If she feels anything like I do, having someone just be nice is gonna pick her up. I hope I get the chance to at least be her friend.

Maybe you could just approach the other woman and tell her that you heard that she's going through something very similar to you and if she needs and ear to talk to, you'd be glad to listen. I'd leave it at that as not to sound to forward in such a situation.

[Motown]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Quick Update.

A woman who has been helping me get through this told me she knows a lady at my school who is going through the same thing. I have noticed her before. She seems to be very sweet and is attractive. In fact, I saw her walking down the hall the other day and thought, "Man, I wish she was single." I hate that she is going through hell just like I am, but who knows? She might be someone I could help if nothing else. She probably thinks men are sorry just like I feel about women. It would do us good to find out there are good potential mates out there. I don't know how I would approach her. One thing is for certain. I'm not playing games with women, especially one who has been beaten by her husband. If I do attempt a relationship with her, she's gonna get the nicest treatment I can put forth. If she feels anything like I do, having someone just be nice is gonna pick her up. I hope I get the chance to at least be her friend.

My oldest daughter isn't doing too well. She passed out at school and almost did at work. I think it's anxiety. She is so disappointed in her mother.

I get my girls in church every Sunday, but it's rough for me. Sitting there without my wife surrounded by couples isn't fun. Then the songs start, and one always gets me. Today the pastor talked some about marriage and it made me feel like a failure. I got choked up and my daughter hugged on me a little. I really don't like her seeing how much this has affected me, but she said anyone with a heart would be hurting.

This happens more often than people realize. I've seen this script a bazillion times bro. TRUST me, you WILL find someone else...you'll see... & life goes on man...stay strong.

[KingV2k3]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Quick Update.

A woman who has been helping me get through this told me she knows a lady at my school who is going through the same thing. I have noticed her before. She seems to be very sweet and is attractive. In fact, I saw her walking down the hall the other day and thought, "Man, I wish she was single." I hate that she is going through hell just like I am, but who knows? She might be someone I could help if nothing else. She probably thinks men are sorry just like I feel about women. It would do us good to find out there are good potential mates out there. I don't know how I would approach her. One thing is for certain. I'm not playing games with women, especially one who has been beaten by her husband. If I do attempt a relationship with her, she's gonna get the nicest treatment I can put forth. If she feels anything like I do, having someone just be nice is gonna pick her up. I hope I get the chance to at least be her friend.

My oldest daughter isn't doing too well. She passed out at school and almost did at work. I think it's anxiety. She is so disappointed in her mother.

I get my girls in church every Sunday, but it's rough for me. Sitting there without my wife surrounded by couples isn't fun. Then the songs start, and one always gets me. Today the pastor talked some about marriage and it made me feel like a failure. I got choked up and my daughter hugged on me a little. I really don't like her seeing how much this has affected me, but she said anyone with a heart would be hurting.

Your oldest is having panic attacks, I'd address this with her primary physician and possibly ask for a reccomendation for a therapist...

That is serious stuff...

[longshadow11]

Re: Wife left me for another man

The woman at my school who is gorgeous beyond belief is interested in me! An older lady just came right out and asked her what she thought of me, and she said she thinks I'm handsome and it would be great if I asked her out.

I talked to her for the first time a couple of days ago and was amazed with how beautiful she is. Long black hair, beautiful skin, very shapely, and she is feminine and soft spoken. I had to have looked like an idiot with my jaw open. I really like that she dresses in a classy manner but still looks amazing.

What I like the most is she said she would be praying for me and my girls. I like women who have a strong faith in God. I've had my share of skanks my whole life, and I'll never go there again.

[Jdurg]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Hey Gary. I'm sorry to hear your tale, and while I really am not in a position to give advice regarding the situation, I do feel as though I can comment on the information I know. And the information I do know tells me that you are a great person and handling this with the utmost maturity. The fact that your daughters are your primary concern, and yourself is a secondary concern, shows that you are a very good father and an example of what this country needs more of. Right now, you are the pillar of strength that your daughters need and I think you are setting a great example for them. I don't have children of my own, but I do have many friends whose parents have been through a divorce when they were younger, or who have been through divorces of their own. From what they have all told me through various conversations is that the best thing that happened to them was their parents talking to them about the situation and being there for them when they were feeling down.

I haven't read through the entire thread, but I'm sure you've already sat down with your daughters and explained at a high level what's happened. The only thing I can say is to continue with that. Sit down with them and be their support. Let them know that if they have questions, any fears, any concerns that you will be there to listen to them no matter what. While this will take away from your "you time", it will be worth more than can be calculated for them. It's good that you've been able to express your thoughts here on the forum and have gotten such a great deal of support from the people here.

I am also not a religious man (I do believe in God, but not in any type of organized religion way), but I do strongly believe that good things happen to good people and that the bad things in life are just a test for how "strong" we all really are. I'm going through tough times myself thus far this year, but I know that by getting through this I will become a better person. With how good of a person I gather you are, I know that good things will happen to you and your daughters. Just keep your spirits up. You have a lot of good friends here on this forum.

[Scottdau]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Just be careful you both are hurting and some times jumping into something real fast can be more problems than good. But I will say it like this bro. You are an adult, you can do what ever you want. It is so easy to tell you what you should do, but in til you are in that boat you have know idea how hard that is. I can give you great advice and most likely it would help you in the long run, but it is easy to give advice, it is a lot harder to take that advice when it is you. So I wish you the best bro! If my wife left me the way yours did. I would want to hook up with a cute lady. So I understand this big time, but in reality it might not be the best thing for you or me in that case, but I still wish you the best.

[longshadow11]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Definitely gonna take it slow. I have to wait until my divorce is final. I told my daughters I wouldn't see anyone while legally married to their mother. I will talk to the lady some and may indicate I am interested once I'm divorced. Mainly, it's nice to know a gorgeous lady would have interest. 42 isn't the best age to suddenly find yourself single. Most women in their 40s look like they gave up on their looks long ago. I would be a fool to not get something started with a nice, beautiful woman who seems to like me. That's better therapy than a year with a shrink in my opinion.

Ultimately, if I do date her and it looks like it may become serious, my girls will have a say in where things go. If they love her and she is good to them, then she's a keeper. If they have misgivings, then she's a goner. I won't subject my daughters to a stepmother they don't want.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Wife left me for another man

The woman at my school who is gorgeous beyond belief is interested in me! An older lady just came right out and asked her what she thought of me, and she said she thinks I'm handsome and it would be great if I asked her out.

I talked to her for the first time a couple of days ago and was amazed with how beautiful she is. Long black hair, beautiful skin, very shapely, and she is feminine and soft spoken. I had to have looked like an idiot with my jaw open. I really like that she dresses in a classy manner but still looks amazing.

What I like the most is she said she would be praying for me and my girls. I like women who have a strong faith in God. I've had my share of skanks my whole life, and I'll never go there again.

Nice update. Her name wouldn't happen to be Autumn?


(reference to 500 days of summer)

[randombrother]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Ultimately, if I do date her and it looks like it may become serious, my girls will have a say in where things go. If they love her and she is good to them, then she's a keeper. If they have misgivings, then she's a goner. I won't subject my daughters to a stepmother they don't want.

I understand what you're saying here but you have to lay a few things down. First off how she treats your kids of course is paramount. Once that hurdle has been passed you have to look out for yourself. It may sound selfish but listen. If YOU'RE not happy in the home then nobody will be happy. If your kids don't like her (which is a good chance they may not since that isn't their mother) you have to let them know you understand but that for you all to move on they'll have to give her a chance and to treat her as she treats them (which of course should be with love).

Remember your children are children and their input should be limited to what you have to do. Would you ask them their input on a mortgage? And this is WAY more important than that. Ultimately they will need that female presence in the house for certain things that we don't understand. I've seen plenty of people make this mistake. Let a good one go on account of the children and then the guy gets up with something FAR less than what he could have later on. That's the thing that really makes me feel bad for the guy.

But I'm sorry to hear all you have went through. I haven't read through the whole thing but make sure you get/got custody of the kids. And nail her behind in child support. She wants to go have a good time well go ahead and do so with about 1/3 of that pay check gone.

[Scottdau]

Re: Wife left me for another man

That is some good thinking Gary, good luck bro. Also the other guy is right to a point too. You have to remember about your self too. If it seems like this lady is a keeper then be honest with your kids. I am sure all your kids want for you is to be happy.

[longshadow11]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I told my girls about her and they were happy to hear it. There is nothing at all going on, but they like that a pretty woman likes their dad. I think they will be accepting; they know it wasn't my choice for their mom to leave. My oldest doesn't accept her mother's boyfriend at all. She can't stand him. That suits me just fine. I really do think my girls will see the woman I decide to marry as someone who makes their dad happy. My main concern with the woman I am interested in now is her autistic son. I don't know how well my girls would deal with it or even how severe he is. That's a bridge we'll cross later. Heck, I haven't even been out with her yet, so I'll worry about kids and stuff like that when it is an issue. I'm just happy that a gorgeous, top of the line woman is interested.

[Scottdau]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Good to hear. Yeah that will be an adjustment with the autistic son, but it will all work out. Just keep trusting in God and you will be fine.

[longshadow11]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I really hope this lady is one God would want for my girls and me. I look at her and melt. I want to take care of her and her boys, and I barely even know her. If she was ugly I wouldn't want to take care of her, so I'm no hero in that regard. It's difficult at my age, because I don't have years and years to date. Every woman I date will come with baggage, and I will have to acess how much I'm willing to take on. Smokers, cheaters, heavy drinkers, mental cases(that eliminates most women) need not apply.

[Scottdau]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I really hope this lady is one God would want for my girls and me. I look at her and melt. I want to take care of her and her boys, and I barely even know her. If she was ugly I wouldn't want to take care of her, so I'm no hero in that regard. It's difficult at my age, because I don't have years and years to date. Every woman I date will come with baggage, and I will have to acess how much I'm willing to take on. Smokers, cheaters, heavy drinkers, mental cases(that eliminates most women) need not apply.

Well at least you are honest. Just be careful bro. Looks can only go so far. But I hear what you are saying. Just trust God and you will be in a good spot.