Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

[ProjectRipCity]

I've been seeing this girl for a little while...She is a great girl and what I'm about to say would turn off 80% of men without a doubt.

Something that has me bothered is when she was 17-18 (She is 21 now) she was on a lot of illegal substances...By a lot I'm not going to get into it (Yeah it's that bad) also when I asked how many men she has "been" with...She said 47...forty freakin seven? As men this bothers us...no? She has a 1 and a half year old kid...I guess the dad left her during the pregnancy...and she is having serious custody battles. I actually like the kid a lot that doesn't bother me at all.

But idk her past seems to bother her. She doesn't look like she has been on any drugs in the past...And she has been pretty respectable about her body. I mean I like her...But has anyone here on OS dealt with something like this that kinda makes you think..."I wanna like her...and I do...But her past kind of puts me off"

For the person she is I think I can look past it, but it does bother me. Can people really change within a short 3 years?

[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

People can change. Just have her tested......

Personally I don't get caught up into people past. If you been with her a good length of time you can see for yourself if she changed or not. But like always, when in doubt, go with your gut feeling.

[TheMatrix31]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

Tons of baggage. Baggage that will never leave her.

I'd run.

[NDAlum]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

47?
Kid?
Drugs?

80%? More like 99%

Personally I would not go near her based on all the red flags.

[HotSauce2k3]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

Tons of baggage. Baggage that will never leave her.

I'd run.

Second this.

[NDAlum]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

People can change. Just have her tested......

Personally I don't get caught up into people past. If you been with her a good length of time you can see for yourself if she changed or not. But like always, when in doubt, go with your gut feeling.

You can't change the fact she has a kid. That alone would steer me in the other direction.

It's your life OP, do what you want. If you can handle all these things then more power to you and go for it.

[JohnnytheSkin]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

I think Kevin Smith in 'Clerks' had something to say about this...

That being said, the whole "guy wanting a virginal untouched woman naive to the world while being a man slut himself" thing is getting old. It's the 21st Century. The vast majority of both guys and girls have been there/done/seen/tried/touched that and the point is what they do after which matters.

You can't get hung up on the past, no matter how different it may be from yours or how awful it seems. While I'm taken aback a bit by the info, if she's moved on and grown up and wants to be with YOU and you can accept that, then go for it.

[19]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

IMO.

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[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

A lot of women have a kid or kids. The chances of you finding a single woman with no kids is slim nowadays. My wife had a son in his 20s when I met her.

[ProjectRipCity]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

People can change. Just have her tested......

Personally I don't get caught up into people past. If you been with her a good length of time you can see for yourself if she changed or not. But like always, when in doubt, go with your gut feeling.

She was tested last month...She showed me the paper work a few weeks ago. Clean

Yeah must ppl are sayin run...understandable.

[ChubbyBanana]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

It's your life OP, do what you want. If you can handle all these things then more power to you and go for it.

Best Answer So Far. May seem like the easiest one, but still the best.

[Scottdau]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

I would never date a girl that had a kid. Now if she was my age and had a kid that is different, but she is 21 and has a kid. Do you want to be that kid's dad?

[ProjectRipCity]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

I would never date a girl that had a kid. Now if she was my age and had a kid that is different, but she is 21 and has a kid. Do you want to be that kid's dad?

I'm 21 as well...I had the exact same mentality as you...But this sort of came out of no where. The dad abuses the daughter...Her name is Paige. The court cannot find enough evidence to put him away. So would I be her father? IDK I can't take the place of the real father, but she is going to end up growing up without a father unless he gets custody...The thing is he doesn't want the kid. His parents are millionares and they want their grandchild and they are kind of using him to get the baby.
I remember dropping Paige off with her...The baby had zero blemishes. When I picked her up she had big marks and blemishes, and dry spots all over her her.
She called me last night because she had to take her to urgent care, because she would not go in water and I guess Paige went completely insane. I guess she usually loves baths, but I'm under the impression something happened.

Baggage? Definitely.

Would I be the father? It depends how far in the relationship I'd get in. She has a beautiful child, and I was planning on adopting. Saying if I wanna be the father is kind of quick.

[ImTellinTim]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

IMO.

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LOL, you beat me to posting this video.

I agree, but hey, whatever makes you happy is what you should go with. Obviously it's bothering you since you posted about it here.

[Scottdau]

Re: Something I'm not sure that bothers me...

When you start dating a girl with a kid, you have to think could I be this kids dad. I am sure she is thinking that. If I was 21 I would probably not go down that road, but I am 38, so it is easy for me to say that. If I was 21 now and I liked the girl I am sure I would be not thinking right.