Confidence...

[canes21]

Re: Confidence...

I used to lack confidence. I was very shy, not very social, whatever. I started working out with my best friend, and that's when my confidence started going up and up. As I saw results I started to feel better about myself.

I'm not a big guy or anything, but you can tell I work out and am in great shape now and it's really helped improve my confidence and attitude. I now talk to everyone, I'm a social person, I even had the balls to talk to girls and even have a girlfriend from it.

I know that sounds sort of cheesy in a sense, but that's really how it all happened. I really think working out and accepting myself for who I am and will always be made me 100x the better person I used to be. I'm no longer that shy loner anymore. I'm the nice, friendly guy who says hi to everyone and will stop and talk to anybody and is willing to meet new people without getting all nervous like before.

[TripleCrown9]

Re: Confidence...

I have terrible confidence also. This is kinda embarrassing, but I'd rather keep my mouth shut and wonder what would happen than risk rejection. I'm the worst at being rejected. In the off chance I find confidence, I rely on humor.

[Feared]

Re: Confidence...

I have terrible confidence also. This is kinda embarrassing, but I'd rather keep my mouth shut and wonder what would happen than risk rejection. I'm the worst at being rejected. In the off chance I find confidence, I rely on humor.

I understand where you're coming from. Most of the advice you get in regards to approaching women is to just go for it, and if she's not into you then too bad, you just move on to the next one.

but I just can't stand the possibility of being rejected, it would hinder me in future situations to where I'd want to go up to another fresh brand new Girl... but in the back of my mind is the thought of that last chick that didn't find me very interesting, or funny. It makes me go "Dang, if she didn't dig me what makes me think this girl will?"

I really envy the guys that have no problem at all with women.

[Fresh Tendrils]

Re: Confidence...

Women are people too guys, not like they're aliens. They have the same insecurities and **** ups we do.

[Feared]

Re: Confidence...

Women are people too guys, not like they're aliens. They have the same insecurities and **** ups we do.

Yep fully understand that but most of my issue, and insecurity comes from the widespread notion in our society that the Men always need to be the ones to be the "spark" starter in a relationship.

Men need to make the first move, they need to take the risk, and the women just sit back and choose which ones are worthy of their time. I guess it starts in High School where the guys ask their dates to go to the Dance, or Prom... and the guys who are too shy either just show up dateless, or don't go to the dances period...

Just the way my body is wired prevents me from being an assertive person. I'm more of a quiet type, who thinks more then he speaks out loud. I don't have any social anxiety problem, maybe I did when I was younger but I got over it; and I am fully capable and have no problem socially interacting with people, but I struggle with relationships because that's not the type of guy women go for. (at least in my experiences)

[BestServedCold]

Re: Confidence...

Interesting, do you mind explaining any further? If you're comfortable of course.

Is it do you not feel good about the way you feel/look? or do you just have bad experiences where people bring you down every time you try project yourself up?

If it's because of looks/feel do you think you could gain confidence by getting in shape, and working out if you saw results?

Thanks.

I've always had self-image problems, but I think they were compounded a bit in high school when people made fun of my weight. I think that the more you hear something and told that you are something the more you become what you are expected to be.

I would probably feel better if I could get in shape, but I still don't know if I would have any confidence. I'm honestly not sure why I have so low of a self-esteem, but obviously it shows. I remember in 7th grade being made fun of for my self-esteem issues. It seemed odd then and I still find it odd, but that person was correct in his observation.


EDIT: I might also mention my failures as a baseball player as to why I lack confidence. I played for... 12 of my 18 years of life I would guess. The last few were hard though. Coming from a small town I was expected to BE the team at least for pitching. I was a good pitcher, but I tore something in my elbow and I had knee problems. I pitched every time I was asked to (every third game or so) and I fought through the pain, which was actually pretty bad. To give you an idea my arm still hurts when I throw trivial things like an eraser. Anyways, I realized I was no longer enjoying the sport and I quit it. I felt like a disappointment to a lot of people. Every year I think about playing again, but my arm is still messed up and my knees still bother me. I know that if I do try I will undoubtedly fail.

[Feared]

Re: Confidence...

That's terrible BestServedCold, and I feel sorry you had to go through those experiences.

Hopefully you can get through your issue. I'm guessing that you are still relatively young, so there is time to turn things around with some lifestyle changes.

I kind of have the opposite problem, I've been skinny and underweight my whole life, recently I changed my whole diet around to get more lean meat, protein; and I started working out. To try and gain muscle.

I wish you all the best.

[Marino]

Re: Confidence...

Thanks to a few guys on this site, and just learning from myself, my confidence is at an all time high. I have no issues when it comes to girls or dates. I mean, I use to get really nervous, but now, I know what I like and what I am looking for. Girls are easy to talk to, it's just most guys don't have the balls to just walk up to them and start talking to them, without trying to throw some bull**** lines.

Dating is cool, I don't know, I never really get past the first date with most girls because they either get too attached too quickly or there is no interest in romantic relationship from either side. I never let myself get down though, that use to be my biggest problem. The mindset of, there is always going to be other girls out there, so no need to let yourself get down on one is the way I live by.

Okay, I have rambled, but yes, I am a cocky sum' bitch now, who doesn't care about what others think of me, I am funny as hell, and I have a beard. (Trifecta)

[Mo]

Re: Confidence...

Sorry, saw the thread title and immediately thought of this.

Spoiler

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/D-CI-vab9HE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Carry On.

[AUChase]

Re: Confidence...

Agreed.

Most women are really easy to talk to. I used to over think things, then I started just being myself and not worrying about whether I was good enough for anyone.

For the first time in a while, I even have the ability to be a little picky about my women.

I took a girl out a few nights ago for a first date and she wore a shirt with the back ripped out and cut up and you could see her pink bra exposed.

When I met her, I didn't really picture her as a 'dress slutty' type, but even if we aren't serious, I have a hard time enjoying myself when someone dresses like that, because I'm constantly wondering about what the hell everyone is thinking. I even tried offering her my jacket, to sound polite, but to really cover some of it up.. I just found it pretty slutty and I really expected her to want to put out on the first date...

I don't really intend to date her again.. just not into that ****. I love a good looking woman, but don't care for one who feels they need to expose half their body to try and look attractive.

[superjames1992]

Re: Confidence...

Cooking in is always the way to go. The number of advantages are limitless.

Haha, yeah; the bedroom is literally right over there!!!

Am I the only one that thought DC was back when they opened this thread?

I certainly do not feel that comfortable around women, though, though I am trying to change that. I am not a guy that feels like he needs to have a girlfriend all the time, though, so it isn't that bad. I know dudes that go through girlfriends like they're nothing.

I think it may be easier to talk to girls outside of college, though, since the fear of rejection is much lower since you may not ever see them again. Then again, I suspect that it is also harder to meet girls once you graduate.

[Fresh Tendrils]

What if you didn't see a bra strap at all?

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[AUChase]

Re: Confidence...

What if you didn't see a bra strap at all?

Sent from the bushes outside your window using Tapatalk Pro.

I don't know, something about it being in the 40s outside, and wearing a shirt that exposes pretty much your' entire back and wearing a bright pink bra just comes off sort of slutty, to me....

Spoiler

more of a hit it n quit it, rather than pursue dating her in the future.

[Fresh Tendrils]

I agree with you, I was just curious as some girls can pull that off while still looking classy.

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[Kriech23]

Re: Confidence...

I'm no ladies man or at least I don't think so, because actually I'm quite an *******. I'm honest and let the ladies know what I think from the get-go. But regardless, the slutty type of women are still attracted to me (some are pretty attractive, but you get my point). It's been this way for a while too. I normally don't even initiate conversation, they do. I don't get it, but I'll take what I can get I suppose.