Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
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Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
There's two movies that absolutely tear me up. At the end of Scrooged where the little boy says "God bless us everyone". I tear up instantly lol. In The Pursuit of Happyness when Will Smith and his little boy are sleeping in that bathroom and somebody tries to come in. Will's holding his little boy with tears rolling down his face. I think I have a soft spot for kids. My wife and I have been trying for several years now with no luck. I have a half sister from my dad that I didn't know about till I was 17. She is 30 and I'm 29. She has 4 kids, and we are friends on Facebook. I love my dad, but it still really bothers me as to why he never made an effort to keep in contact with her.Comment
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Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
Yeah, Im extremely socially awkward. I have 4 close friends, one best friend, and 2 or 3 girls I talk to. Im that person that stands awkwardly in the corner at a party or can sit with a bunch of people for an hour and not say a word. Give me a choice between a party or just sitting at home watching TV with a friend or two Im staying at home ten times out of ten. I just feel really awkward around people I dont know.
There has been more than one occasion where a girl really likes me and everyone and their grandma knows it, and I STILL dont have the balls to ask her out. I suck lolComment
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I don't know if it's a deep, dark secret...
I pretty much hate people. I'm not saying this facetiously or anything. I don't enjoy going out in public at all. I have, because my fiancée enjoys doing things, but it's rare. I always end up feeling a little guilty because I don't end up having much fun and I just feel like I bring her enjoyment of things down.
It can be something as simple as her wanting me to go to the mall with her, and I absolutely refuse to. I can tolerate her friends at times, but I get super uncomfortable around them and also around her family (also my own family for the most part, even more so since I've moved away from them.)
I don't wish ill on any of them and want them to all be happy... I just wish I didn't have to go to any stupid events that people hold for them to be happy. They should focus on enjoying whatever they're doing without giving a second thought to where I am or how I'm doing.
I talk to people on OS (or people from OS on Twitter) more than I talk to any of my " friends" from real life, and I prefer it that way, honestly. I don't feel a twinge of sadness for those commercials that tell you to support third world children (not to say I don't think their situation blows) but those damn Sarah McLaughlin commercials with the dogs breaks my heart every time I see it.
The only time I've seen a psych was for them to diagnose my insomnia when I was exiting the military for medical reasons, but I'm sure if I went to one they'd tell me I'm antisocial with some sociopathic tendencies.
I'm often very glib, and people I meet have an easy time taking to me and trusting me because I can see people for what they are for the most part and I play to their tendencies. I don't like sharing myself, but I'm an excellent listener so I pick up on things and tell people what they want to here. I have a feeling that of my parents didn't raise me in the manner they did I would have no problem taking advantage of people and not feeling bad about it. Most of my emotions feel shallow and almost forced for the sake of other people so they don't question my normalcy.
All I truly want in life is to be left to my own devices without being forced into things that hold no interest to me. This is why I failed at college the couple years I went. Every class I took on psychology and sociology I aced, but I ended up flunking out of two separate schools because the other classes I had to take held no interest to me so I just didn't go.
It's funny, but everyone always sees me as normal. I tell my fiancée or people out here that I really don't like people and just want to be left alone and they laugh and patronize me by saying "I know you don't, I don't either!" when in reality they can't go a week of being alone. I just shrug it off, though I wish they could see I was telling the truth.
And now that long rant is over.NCAA: Michigan Wolverines
MLB: St. Louis Cardinals
NHL: St. Louis Blues
NFL: Pittsburgh Steelers
EPL: Liverpool RedsComment
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this is not heavy but havent told anyone outside of our circle
at 12 years old , i had this group of close friends. 8 of us. played baseball a lot togrther.....a version of sandlot if u will. we used to do some crazy stuff like " accidentally" walking inside the girls locker room.at the public pool, etc, joy rides.
anyways 8 of us always bragged which one of us were the most " well endowed". one of the boys said....ok enough talking ...let us prove it.
the tiniest would then become our" servant" for the whole summer. getting drinks, carrying equipment. so one of them waited until their house was empty....and we set up a porn flick and measured ourselves right in front of each other with a ruler and jotted down the measurements to avoid" cheating and inaccuracies".
I was a chubby kid so I was worried ....hehehe....
so we "solidified" ourselves and measured. finished 4th....fieuh. the last place guy got so much grief and until.today 20 yrs later we still give him hell. hahaha.....boys will be boys.
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Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
LMAO at making the kid your servant. How awful is that for something he cant control!Charger Fan Born and Raised!
Born in powder blue.
Follow me on Twitter yeah.
@WillSoistman
Dibs: Jennifer Aniston
"Success isn't earned, it's leased. Rent is due every damn day.Comment
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Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
I've actually been thinking about posting this for a week now, but now that someone else has said it, I think I finally can. I fit the same category as cardsfan. If I recognized you guys in person and we hadn't made plans to hang out, I would not talk to you. I know for a fact I would not talk all that much either way. I always think people will think I'm weird if I say much. Years of being somewhat ignored by friends will do that to you.
I wasn't always like that. It changed in 9th grade when my brother died. I actually went back to school the day after he passed because I figured trying to keep things as normal as they could be was the best way to grieve. The problem was that no one seemed to care (except the rest of the percussionists in band who did acknowledge it). I didn't think much of it at first, I just thought they didn't know. But when another of my friend's dad died (he was very popular, a team captain of the football team all the way through high school and now plays at a Pac-12 school), and so many of our friends supported him the whole time. They went all out. I told him about how my brother died, and I knew that losing a family member was hard and that I was there if he needed anything. He told me they knew my brother had passed, but they didn't know what to say. Kind of made me feel like the rest of them didn't care since they found some way to say something to him. I changed my group of main friends after that.
I only have 1 true friend and my cousin that I hang out with. There are only 3 people I have talked to really since I started at UW in the fall not including my dorm clustermates. I met one my first day there, and she initiated conversation because she was super excited to be there in our class since she is a Freshman. Sat next to her everyday in my Public Speaking class lectures everyday this quarter. The other two were in my smaller section for that same class and I only talked to her, and her friend, because she waved and said hi to me our second day of lecture. If neither of them would have said anything, I never would have said a word to anyone. I know I don't have class with any of them next quarter, so I don't know what I'll do.
It only bother's me sometimes to be so alone. Mainly when I get a little depressed about missing my brother. He was my best friend before he died. And after he died, my dad left my mom as well, so things changed way too quickly and I don't think I ever adjusted to it well. I actually broke down one day in 11th grade while giving a presentation and I mentioned the date he died. It happened early in the morning in my second period, and I didn't get sent home till during my last (6th) period by a teacher. At lunch, my friends thought I was screwing around and decided to leave me at the table alone while I sat there with my head down. They all felt bad when they saw my face after lunch, but I just went on to my next class. Things like that always make me wonder if anyone really does give a damn about me. The one good thing is that I like life too much to ever be suicidal, so that never crossed my mind. Plus I think about how much it would hurt my mom if I ever passed away.Originally posted by BlueNGoldI feel weird for liking a post about exposed penises.Comment
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Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
And just for a counterbalance to my last story, I will post something not heavy at all.
I passed my Chemistry class in 11th grade by doing nothing. I was awful at that class and had an awful teacher. I don't think anyone liked the guy mostly because he sucked at his job and he was kind of creepy. He also sat me and the my friend Marquise together on the seating chart at the front of the class because we "were both black and he thought we'd work well together." That actually backfired on the teacher because we and the other guy next to us (white guy) all were friends and became way more concerned with trying to have fun in that class instead of learning. He was promptly let go of as a teacher after that year.
The class was also boring and I remember one my bestfriend peeked through the window on the door one day and said I was literally hitting myself in the face out of sheer boredom. Still claims it's one of the funnier things he's ever seen anyone do to this day.
Regarding me doing nothing, I never did anything in that class for about 3/4 of the semester beside the labs tests themselves. I didn't turn in any lab reports, or any homework. I never studied or anything. I actually did pretty horrible at the stuff I tried, but I got an A in that class. I realized that he was leaving all the entries in the gradebook marked with a placeholder pretty early on, so I would tell him I was going to turn in something and never would. He never changed the stuff I didn't turn in, so I got an A. I don't know much chemistry at all to this day and purposely avoid all natural science that isn't biology in school since then.
And I apologize for the extra long double post.Originally posted by BlueNGoldI feel weird for liking a post about exposed penises.Comment
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Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
I get really bothered when I'm reminded of mistakes that I've made in the past. For example, last year I walked into a bar and they had a Bowling Green football game playing on TV and it bothered me to the point where I had to leave. Every time I go to Ocean City, MD I think about how I left senior week early and don't want to be there. Hearing my dad talk about my brother wrestling gets me depressed because I didn't take sports as seriously as I should've when I was in grade school, so I change the topic. It makes me envious, as sad as that is.Comment
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After reading this thread, I feel compelled to disclose a little more about myself.
-I am very socially awkward and I feel people can sense that and consequently think I'm weird. I don't know how to initiate meaningful conversation, nor can I sustain a conversation with someone.
-I have a problem with voicing my opinion on matters in fear that it will be rejected. Even something as simple as me not liking a certain restaurants that coworkers pick for lunch. I can hate the place with a passion, but won't say a thing in order to avoid controversy.
-I watch porn from time to time. I think it's unfair to my wife, but I continue to do it when she's not around. I know I ain't right, but it's hard breaking the habit. Porn is the furthest thing from my mind when I'm with my wife though. Maybe I need to get out more when she's away. Idle time can be a terrible thing sometimes.
-I grew up with a single mom, who had a very bad gambling addiction. Lost everything. House got foreclosed on (but still was able to live there for six months after). We had no lights, no food, no running water, etc. She also smoked in the house, so everyday I would go to school smelling like cigarettes. I am deathly afraid of F'n up in life and having to relive those times.
-I love my Mom very much, but I think I still harbor some resentment and anger towards her from what I mentioned above.
-My Dad had 8 children by six women, so he didn't have the time of day for me. He'd throw some change my way every now and then, but it still hurt not having and active father. I vowed I'll always be in my children's lives, but am also afraid of being a failure as a dad.
-I have a genuine love for people. Even though I have never met anyone on OS, if we ever kicked it, I'd treat you just like I would my own family.
- Lost my grandmother in 2006 on Mother's Day and it was the worst day of my life. My only tattoo is in remembrance of her. Took me a long time to find peace with her passing.
-I have big time stage fright and tense up or go completely blank when speaking in front of people. I do much better in smaller settings. I hate being the center of attention. My wedding was one of the best days of my life, but at the same time uncomfortable because of the spotlight being on me.
-OS has helped me to better formulate my thoughts and opinions on matters. I have also learned the ability to criticize constructively, debate objectively and most importantly keeping an open and active mind. My confidence in myself has improved tenfold.
-Last, but not least, I was a very good basketball player in HS and missed out on a lot of hoes I could have given it to.
This thread is awesome. Being able to express this has definitely been therapeutic for me. I have held on to a lot of hate and resentment over the years and it has no place in my life because I've been so blessed.
Thanks for reading and much love to you all!Last edited by ScoobySnax; 03-29-2013, 04:23 PM.Originally posted by J. ColeFool me one time that's shame on you. Fool me twice can't put the blame on you. Fool me three times, **** the peace sign, load the chopper let it rain on you.
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/os_scoobysnax/profileComment
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Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
I actually have another one. I am 13 years old. IDC what you think of that. But I am.Check out my Baseball Rumors Blog http://baseballrumors101.blogspot.com/Comment
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Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
I was like that too and just had to keep learning and realizing that rejection isn't the end of the world. I found that online dating helped me out as well.Nintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-7009-7102-8818Comment
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Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
As extroverted as I am in real life (very) it is stunning to see how many folks on here are so introverted.
I'm not a fan of people in general either, but I can have a casual, impromptu conversation with just about anyone.Comment
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Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself
I have my group of 4 friends who I get along with very well, hang out with mostly every day, and am like brothers with. But outside of them I just don't like most the people I meet.
I hang out with other people and am friends with others, but if given the choice of hanging out with these other people or sitting at home watching sports or something, I will choose sitting at home 9 times out of 10.
I'd say I'm a mixture between an introvert and extrovert, I do like to socialize and hang out with people, but only a select few people.
Also I have a tough time becoming more than friends with girls. I'm not a bad looking guy in my opinion, I'm certainly not the best looking though and I'm pretty insecure. I always assume girls don't like me as anything more than as a friend, even if they give me hints that they do. I'm "friend zoned" by a lot of girls because I just don't go for them in that way and can't usually bring myself to do so. I'm 18 and I've only had 2 girlfriends and only "been with" 3 girls in my life. I wish I could go for girls more but I just have a problem doing so.Last edited by Champion8877; 03-29-2013, 09:10 PM.Comment
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