GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

[HealyMonster]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Aaron, I do trust her but like this board, everyone is telling me no and what was I thinking. I'm partially to blame as I didn't do my homework on what this was till yesterday when my friend told me instead of when her friends bought her the tickets a month or so ago.

Either way now I feel my only, well not only my right option is to just wait this out. Was tempted to text something but feel it would make the situation even worse.

Appreciate the comments guys.

I think you are stuck at this point. You already agreed for her to go, any type of rebuttal equals you dont trust her, and that will cause problems. If you had checked out the event beforehand, you could have played it a number of different ways from safety, to anything but now telling her you dont want her to go is going to just be negative.

With that being said, you know what type of girl you have. Is she easily influenced by her peers? Is she the "leader" of her group of friends? Has she been promiscuous prior to getting into a serious relationship with you? Does she make bad choices while drinking? You know her, and I think ultimately the question you need to ask yourself is do you REALLY think she is going to cheat on you, or is jealousy of her going without you feeding you thoughts that ultimately may not be realistic. IE When she gets home, and tells you the events that happened are you going to think to yourself "I was stupid to think the worst". You just have to separate what "real", and whats being driven by the typical guy being jealous thoughts. We've all been there, its natural, but it clouds the reality some times.

[JODYE]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Yeah, I think at this point you just have to be supportive.

I'm with AH, you either really trust her or you don't. I know it's not that simple but if she's going to cheat, she's going to cheat. There is nothing that you can do or say to stop that. But if she's the person you think she is and you trust her, then there shouldn't be anything to worry about.

The worst thing you could do now, is show insecurity and let her know that you're worried.

[Phobia]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

As I always say, trust is irrelevant.

I would let my girlfriend go. She's hot and would probably get bombarded every second by guys hitting on her as well. If she cheats then I move on.

I feel same way, I would let my fiancee go do her thing. She screws up then I'm out and thats on her but I'm not going to look at everything she chooses to do and give her the OK/Not Ok on it. I'm not her dad, she is a grown as women who can make her own decisions. Its on her to make the right ones and keep a relationship she is 100% committed to stable and healthy.

[AUChase]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

We have all been through different **** and have different reasons for feeling a certain way. I would probably be a little uneasy about it, but in the end if she was the type of person who was going to cheat on you, she wouldn't need something like this as an excuse to do it.

My girlfriend is coming home from four days in Florida, right now. Hell, we barely talked and texted oveer that period of time and I haven't been worried one bit about it. She can do what she wants and I trust her.

Good luck with whatever you do, man. I think the best thing to do now has been said all ready. Don't bring it up unless there's a reason to after she gets back. It will only make things worse because she will probably see it as you not being honest with her about how you feel, rather than you just not knowing that much about what she was doing at first.

I'm sure things will be just fine.

[shugknight]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Sorry Alt, but you're going to have to ride this one out. She already has made the plans, and has the tickets, so you talking to her about the situation will only make things worst. Trust issues will come out, and things will go down hill from there. Leave it as it is, and support her and hope that she has fun. You have to have trust in her that nothing will happen.

And honestly, if a girl is willing to cheat on you, she'll cheat with you anywhere, anytime. That's their nature. It doesn't matter if it's at a rave, club, bar, work.. If she ever thought about cheating on you, she wouldn't wait for a specific time to do it.

Granted, I've never been to an EDC party before, so not sure what goes on. But you have to give her the trust that she can do things on her own without you worrying every minute.

In my past, I've had 3 girls cheat on me (yeah, I have the worst selections in girls)

The first girl would get blacked out drunk and mess with the guy she was drinking with.
The second girl, had insecurities issue, so anytime I went out to the bars with the boys, she got jealous and would call her guy friend.
The third girl would drink, but know her limits, so she would never get sloppy drunk. Yet she still made the decision to cheat on me, because, well, she just wanted to.

My point is, if a girl is willing to cheat on you, it doesn't matter the atmosphere she's in. She will cheat on you. If you have a good girl (like what I have now) no amount of alcohol, peer pressure, or drugs can entice her to cheat on me.

So you have to ask yourself, what type of girl do you have? If she's a trusthworthy good girl, leave all doubts aside, and trust her.

If she messes up, then well, you just up and leave her.

[Altimus]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Thanks guys. Yeah, no choice but to ride it out now.

I'm know I'm more worried about something happening to her than her cheating. I'll let you know how it goes.

[mgoblue]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

I would. This isnt a shot at you Altimus but I hate fake trust. Either you trust her or you dont. My fiance (soon to be wife) has gone on multiple trips with her girls and without me. I've gone on trips with my friends without her. As much as I know, nothing has happened and I believe nothing happened because I trust her. If you dont trust her enough to travel somewhere with her girls, drink and not do something physical with another guy......maybe you shouldnt be with her.

Agree 100% with Aaron.

I'd let my wife go on a trip with her girls (or sisters or whatnot) to Vegas or wherever. I'd hope she'd let me go on a trip with my old college friends without freaking out.

You either trust or you don't. Alcohol isn't a reason/excuse for cheating. If she'd cheat when drunk there's other issues going on.

My wife wouldn't want to go to this rave thing...she'd do some Country music based one though. I wouldn't be concerned (and you must know she's into going to raves at home, right?), but raves can get pretty crazy with drugs/alcohol and whatnot, it's what raves are.

[Mo]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Somewhat related, mostly unrelated,

Saw this in the paper here on EDC and the history of drug arrests and overdoses.

But Joliet Fire Chief Joseph Formhals said he does not think city paramedics will find anything that they can’t handle.

“It’s no different than the streets of Joliet,” Formhals said. “We have drug overdoses and we have people who get drunk every Friday and Saturday night.”

Just made me laugh.

[dsallupinyaarea]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

I'd be supportive. I've never been the jealous/controlling/protective type though. Like, aholbert said if you trust her, you trust her. If she does something bogus, she's doing you a favor. You can get out while the damage is minimal.

[VTPack919]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

This isn't about trusting/not trusting her. It's about the ilk that go to these events. Shady *** people in this world. I know far too many.

I'd let my girl go only if I was there and I trust her with everything I got. I just don't trust the other thirsty folk out there.

[Instant C1a55ic]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

So my GF is going to EDC (techno rave concert)for the long weekend with her girlfriends... I'm obviously not going. When she told me I was iffy but was fine with it. Said it was some concert thing. We love each other and I trust her but she does have a habit to drink more than she should at social gatherings. Today my friend who has been there told me what really goes on there and now I feel a little worried. Maybe not worried, just awkward about the whole situation.

Would you be ok with your GF/wife going to a thing like this for a few days without you?

I wouldn't be ok with it, but you have to be careful as not to come off as controlling or smothering. It would be best to sit down with her, present your evidence and see if she can view things from your perspective.

Give her the classic, "would you let me go if you knew about what REALLY went on there?" if she says "yes" right away, I would be suspicious. I used to do that with my parents even if they were right, I just wanted to get my way and be done with it and then do the things they were worried about.

That's my 2 cents...

[thedudedominick]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Like some other have said you either trust your girl or you don't.

My biggest issue with letting my girl go to something like this without me is knowing what kind of guys are going to be at this thing looking for any chance to take advantage of any girl that doesn't have a guy with her.

[TheMatrix31]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

As someone who just had his Bachelor Party two months ago, thats the lamest idea ever.

SMH. My best buddy is gonna be one of the guy's grooms and he said flat out that he wouldn't go if that's the idea. You can't have a bachelor party with the bachelorettes in the same city, let alone at the same dumb event!

[shugknight]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Am I the only one that has never heard of EDC?

I feel old and lame.

[KingV2k3]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

1) I keep dropping back into this thread hoping that TarHeelMan weighs in, so far no luck on that...

2) THM needs some kind of OS "Bat Signal" for these kind of threads...

3) Thread is also calling out for the obligatory "this thread is worthless without pics" post...

4) All kidding aside, you've got it figured out Altimus...ride it out, don't stress / obsess...that sort of thing is prob unwarranted, AND would mos def make you look (and feel) like you straight out "handed her the upper hand" for the remainder of the relationship...

5) WWTHMD?