Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

[RAZRr1275]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

It wasn't about payback, it was about protection.

Yes something was gained, I protected my daughter.

How did you protect anyone? This could've escalated into something much, much worse than it had to be. People don't say things like what he said unless they're looking to set you off and you took the bait.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

How did you protect anyone? This could've escalated into something much, much worse than it had to be. People don't say things like what he said unless they're looking to set you off and you took the bait.

Read through the thread and you'll see how I feel that I protected my daughter.

I don't care the reason why he did what he did, only that he did what he did. I took the bait and he took a whippin.

Fair trade imo.

[Phobia]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I think I have a different opinion on this entirely. I have had a few experiences along the same lines as well.

Once my daughter was over at her Mothers and I had just got there to pick her up. They were arguing as usual and my daughter just started to walk out. My ex's boyfriend grabbed her from behind on her hoodie and knocked her to the ground. Before my daughter hit the floor I was beating this man senseless. Ended up putting him in the hospital. He never pressed charges, I think my ex threatened him if he did.

Another time I was hanging out a the local watering hole where my friend work, she and I have been friends since high school, and one of the patrons assaulted her and was grabbing her in very inappropriate places. I bounced the guys head off the bar and then the owner took over and "escorted" him out.

Now I grew up country guys. I don't mean out in the suburbs with the strip malls. I mean can't see your neighbors, up at 4am to feed the animals before school, learn how to hunt to put food on the table to not go hungry country. I was always taught to take care of your own. If something is wrong, make it right. Whether that is giving your last dollar to a friend in need or handling a situation for somebody who can't handle it themselves.

Notice I said I was raised country not red neck.

I am well educated, I have a masters degree and a bachelors of science. I have served in the Army for 15 years.

I dont see one thing wrong with what you did. You want to mess with me? Whatever, I am a grow man and don't have time for it. Mess with my wife, my kids, I don't play. I don't call the Cops, I don't sue. I don't talk it out. I put you down.....hard. But that is the way I was brought up and the way I live my life. I will be your truest friend and will do anything in my power to help you with anything you need to do. Bring danger or trouble to my family then all bets are off and the Good Lord help you.

We see things very similar, but like you said "I grew up country" same roots .

[slickdtc]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

It pisses me off that CB has to take the high road or else this guy can have him locked up for assaulting him. But those words can crush his daughter, and the guy can get away with it with nothing other then a warning, if that. That's what's the most wrong of all of this.

CB has to take care and protect his daughter every day to the best of his abilities. I don't think many of us can pretend to know how that feels. We have fathers here, but not many who have children with special needs. I can't imagine the sacrifices just to make sure your daughter lives a half decent life. It's clear how much she means to you by how often you've referenced her just in your recent posts.

I think the best comparison was of one to one of our grandmother's, someone who can't defend themselves against pricks like this guy. My grandmother is a saint; for someone to even think about pushing past her, knocking her glasses off or something to that degree, then looking her in the face and saying something to the affect of the R word is... disturbing. It's unfathomable. You're weak and I'm strong and I'm gonna move you out of the way. Oh yeah, then I'm gonna look you in the eye and call you a weak *** little bitch.

Whoa... yeah. I'm not a fighter and I don't pretend to be. But no one gets away with that.

I know it's wrong to the letter of the law. I know it can lead to fines and prison and scaring the people you are trying to protect. But in that moment, as you witness someone physically move your loved one, then have the ****ing balls to insult them for something they have no control over, all bets are off. You're either in fight or flight mode. CB had a split second to decide, and I can't blame him one iota. If I'm the cop or the judge or whoever hears this story, I'm going as light as possible on CB and as harsh as possible on the piece of trash. Note the reactions from the other patrons of the store. We all know violence isn't the answer; but being quiet damn sure isn't either. You may have saved this guy from a beat down more severe in the future from someone who isn't going to think twice or has nothing to lose.

Let me say, CB showed restraint. He could've beat the ever living **** out of this dude, unloaded a clip on him right there, taken an item off the shelf and bashed this guys brains in. He tried to play nice, but the leash is only so long. It's not a natural instinct to stand idly by or just say hey stop that as someone you love and value is wronged.

The worst and only truly wrong thing you did was let your daughter see that side of you. And I know that's probably the only thing you truly feel bad about (and your wife giving you the third degree doesn't help). But she's gonna know, as will your wife, that if they are threatened, you're gonna be right there and do whatever it takes. I don't think that's so wrong.

Vigilante justice will get us nowhere if we're all practicing it. But every so often, someone needs to stand up and let the bullies and scumbags know you ain't getting away with this one.

[Burns11]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

It pisses me off that CB has to take the high road or else this guy can have him locked up for assaulting him. But those words can crush his daughter, and the guy can get away with it with nothing other then a warning, if that. That's what's the most wrong of all of this.

CB has to take care and protect his daughter every day to the best of his abilities. I don't think many of us can pretend to know how that feels. We have fathers here, but not many who have children with special needs. I can't imagine the sacrifices just to make sure your daughter lives a half decent life. It's clear how much she means to you by how often you've referenced her just in your recent posts.

I think the best comparison was of one to one of our grandmother's, someone who can't defend themselves against pricks like this guy. My grandmother is a saint; for someone to even think about pushing past her, knocking her glasses off or something to that degree, then looking her in the face and saying something to the affect of the R word is... disturbing. It's unfathomable. You're weak and I'm strong and I'm gonna move you out of the way. Oh yeah, then I'm gonna look you in the eye and call you a weak *** little bitch.

Whoa... yeah. I'm not a fighter and I don't pretend to be. But no one gets away with that.

I know it's wrong to the letter of the law. I know it can lead to fines and prison and scaring the people you are trying to protect. But in that moment, as you witness someone physically move your loved one, then have the ****ing balls to insult them for something they have no control over, all bets are off. You're either in fight or flight mode. CB had a split second to decide, and I can't blame him one iota. If I'm the cop or the judge or whoever hears this story, I'm going as light as possible on CB and as harsh as possible on the piece of trash. Note the reactions from the other patrons of the store. We all know violence isn't the answer; but being quiet damn sure isn't either. You may have saved this guy from a beat down more severe in the future from someone who isn't going to think twice or has nothing to lose.

Let me say, CB showed restraint. He could've beat the ever living **** out of this dude, unloaded a clip on him right there, taken an item off the shelf and bashed this guys brains in. He tried to play nice, but the leash is only so long. It's not a natural instinct to stand idly by or just say hey stop that as someone you love and value is wronged.

The worst and only truly wrong thing you did was let your daughter see that side of you. And I know that's probably the only thing you truly feel bad about (and your wife giving you the third degree doesn't help). But she's gonna know, as will your wife, that if they are threatened, you're gonna be right there and do whatever it takes. I don't think that's so wrong.

Vigilante justice will get us nowhere if we're all practicing it. But every so often, someone needs to stand up and let the bullies and scumbags know you ain't getting away with this one.

I'm sorry, but that's nonsense. I don't think anybody in here didn't understand the reaction, but the question was is it the right thing to do and not do you understand why I did this. Fact is, getting physical with someone who hasn't really gotten physical just opens you up to a whole host of even worse outcomes than just walking away. His entire family's lives could be shattered right now had things gone differently. What if this guy was completely nuts and decided this guy hurt his narcissistic ego and found CB's family in the parking lot in his car and run them all down? I mean, this is a guy who just screamed at a child in a wheelchair for ****'s sake, he obviously wasn't a stand up individual.

In the end is it better to take the safe exit for you and your family, or hope that a cop, judge, and/or jury has leniency for your story? Remember the question is what is the right thing to do, not what should be ok or what is understandble, and escalating a situation with someone who could be Ted Bundy for all you know isn't the best choice.

[dickey1331]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I'm sorry, but that's nonsense. I don't think anybody in here didn't understand the reaction, but the question was is it the right thing to do and not do you understand why I did this. Fact is, getting physical with someone who hasn't really gotten physical just opens you up to a whole host of even worse outcomes than just walking away. His entire family's lives could be shattered right now had things gone differently. What if this guy was completely nuts and decided this guy hurt his narcissistic ego and found CB's family in the parking lot in his car and run them all down? I mean, this is a guy who just screamed at a child in a wheelchair for ****'s sake, he obviously wasn't a stand up individual.



In the end is it better to take the safe exit for you and your family, or hope that a cop, judge, and/or jury has leniency for your story? Remember the question is what is the right thing to do, not what should be ok or what is understandble, and escalating a situation with someone who could be Ted Bundy for all you know isn't the best choice.

You could make that argument with any situation. And then we just live lives not standing up for ourselves or our family because we think the person could be the next Ted Bundy. We end up living in fear that something worse could happen and these type of people get away with doing this.

[Burns11]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

Gambling your family on every slight from some ******* by escalating it to a physical confrontation isn't protecting them, it's putting them in danger. That ******* is going to be an ******* no matter what you do, putting everything at risk to teach him some kind of lesson he's not going to learn is just foolhardy at best.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I know I asked for opinions, but i want to say something.

For those who believe i was wrong and shouldve walked away, ipray youre never in that situation

[kehlis]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I know I asked for opinions, but i want to say something.

For those who believe i was wrong and shouldve walked away, ipray youre never in that situation

Well this is a pretty unfair post after asking everyone for their opinions...

[Burns11]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I know I asked for opinions, but i want to say something.

For those who believe i was wrong and shouldve walked away, ipray youre never in that situation

In the original post someone bumped into your daughter, and you escalated it into a full on confrontation. You check on your daughter, inform the person of what he did wrong and why. Instead you escalated the situation into a fight with your daughter in the middle. What if the guy pushed you into her? What if this guy was the next Cody Cashion and he finds out where you live and shoots a flare through her window? Point is reason and calming the situation would have better protected your daughter now and in the future. The idea that being some short tempered attack dog around your family to protect them is a possibly grave mistake. I just pray next time you escalate like that the guy isn't crazy and vindictive enough to ruin your life and family for good.

[kingkilla56]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

It pisses me off that CB has to take the high road or else this guy can have him locked up for assaulting him. But those words can crush his daughter, and the guy can get away with it with nothing other then a warning, if that. That's what's the most wrong of all of this.

CB has to take care and protect his daughter every day to the best of his abilities. I don't think many of us can pretend to know how that feels. We have fathers here, but not many who have children with special needs. I can't imagine the sacrifices just to make sure your daughter lives a half decent life. It's clear how much she means to you by how often you've referenced her just in your recent posts.

I think the best comparison was of one to one of our grandmother's, someone who can't defend themselves against pricks like this guy. My grandmother is a saint; for someone to even think about pushing past her, knocking her glasses off or something to that degree, then looking her in the face and saying something to the affect of the R word is... disturbing. It's unfathomable. You're weak and I'm strong and I'm gonna move you out of the way. Oh yeah, then I'm gonna look you in the eye and call you a weak *** little bitch.

Whoa... yeah. I'm not a fighter and I don't pretend to be. But no one gets away with that.

I know it's wrong to the letter of the law. I know it can lead to fines and prison and scaring the people you are trying to protect. But in that moment, as you witness someone physically move your loved one, then have the ****ing balls to insult them for something they have no control over, all bets are off. You're either in fight or flight mode. CB had a split second to decide, and I can't blame him one iota. If I'm the cop or the judge or whoever hears this story, I'm going as light as possible on CB and as harsh as possible on the piece of trash. Note the reactions from the other patrons of the store. We all know violence isn't the answer; but being quiet damn sure isn't either. You may have saved this guy from a beat down more severe in the future from someone who isn't going to think twice or has nothing to lose.

Let me say, CB showed restraint. He could've beat the ever living **** out of this dude, unloaded a clip on him right there, taken an item off the shelf and bashed this guys brains in. He tried to play nice, but the leash is only so long. It's not a natural instinct to stand idly by or just say hey stop that as someone you love and value is wronged.

The worst and only truly wrong thing you did was let your daughter see that side of you. And I know that's probably the only thing you truly feel bad about (and your wife giving you the third degree doesn't help). But she's gonna know, as will your wife, that if they are threatened, you're gonna be right there and do whatever it takes. I don't think that's so wrong.

Vigilante justice will get us nowhere if we're all practicing it. But every so often, someone needs to stand up and let the bullies and scumbags know you ain't getting away with this one.

Did this guy swing at the daughter or what? I HAVE to be missing something here.

It seems like the brushing the face/knocking glasses part of the altercation isnt what cause CB to flip. It was the use of the slur. And that tells me it wasnt a "protect your family at all costs" moment. That was anger, that was revenge. And quite frankly, people die over anger and revenge. CB being a carrier only makes that situation more of a tinderbox.

The guy was a dick. He didnt apologize for brushing a vulnerable young lady. He also decided to insult her and bring her to tears after her father demanded an apology. Hes a dick. We all agree with this. He deserves to be taught a lesson. Yes we agree. However all things considered, CB wasnt the one to teach it. Not with his daughter right there, and not with all the different outcomes that could have happened putting his family in potential danger that for some reason people arent seeing when looking at the story objectively.

You can save the "teach that punk a lesson" stuff for the movies. Your baby girl was right there when you assaulted a guy. You're lucky the guy was a simp. If he was a psycho, bad things could have gone down. If you cant see that, then I pray you're never in that situation again.

[Jr.]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

This thread has taken an interesting turn into a discussion of what constitutes "protecting your family" and in what situations/circumstances.

I agree with Kehlis about your statement, Countryboy. Why ask for advice if you think you did what you were supposed to and don't have any remorse for it? It seems pretty evident you don't have any intention of taking to heart anything that those of us say who think you were in the wrong with your actions (not your emotions which are completely understandable) and changing how you act in a similar situation in the future.

[Millennium]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I know I asked for opinions, but i want to say something.

For those who believe i was wrong and shouldve walked away, ipray youre never in that situation

This is completely uncalled for. You asked for advice, and everyone here handles things differently.

I have a close friend who has a child with a disability. He gets made fun of at school. You know what he says when he comes home? "Those people must have really mean parents." I've heard his statement come out of the boy's mouth.

My opinion came from this spot. My opinion is that when a person reacts to a derogatory term, they are fueling the meaning of the word. I HATE the R word and all like it. I just feel that when you react to something in front of a child, it teaches the child to react the same way.

I get why you reacted the way you did, and I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing. But how many times is that going to happen? As I said, there is a good chance she deals with this type of thing for a good part of her life. She can't lash out at every one, and my opinion is that neither should a guardian of hers.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

In the original post someone bumped into your daughter, and you escalated it into a full on confrontation. You check on your daughter, inform the person of what he did wrong and why. Instead you escalated the situation into a fight with your daughter in the middle. What if the guy pushed you into her? What if this guy was the next Cody Cashion and he finds out where you live and shoots a flare through her window? Point is reason and calming the situation would have better protected your daughter now and in the future. The idea that being some short tempered attack dog around your family to protect them is a possibly grave mistake. I just pray next time you escalate like that the guy isn't crazy and vindictive enough to ruin your life and family for good.

No, I told him to apologize after he bumped into her. When he said what he said, then I escalated the situation

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

Well this is a pretty unfair post after asking everyone for their opinions...

And I value and appreciate the opinions, I really do.

But at the same time, to make it sound so simple that I should've walked away, I hope they are never put into the same position, because I don't believe its that easy of a decision.

Hindsight is 20/20 and easier to make decisions