2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

[Brandwin]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

Damn bro, I am sorry to hear that. I know we've chatted a few times and all seemed like it was going great for you. I'm sure it'll be tough for a bit, but you'll be okay. It's very messed up she is keeping your son from you. Women can be so heartless when using kids as a pawn. I feel for your daughter as well. I know it's tough on her also.

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[seasprite]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

Thank you to everyone for the responses and well wishes. The hardest thing is that she is keeping James, my son, away from me. I haven't done anything to give her a reason to do such a thing.

I don't know if she's using my illness as an excuse to get money, house, or to cover up something and frankly I don't care. i just want my son. My step-daughter has already been turned against me.

Hopefully you can get a quick hearing to remedy this. Did she file for emergency custody or something? She cant just decide that you are not able to see your son, that has to be court ordered. I'm sure your lawyer is on this. I hate hearing this crap, specifically the keeping your son from you. People using children as pawns in a divorce are some of the lowest scum IMO. My ex tried to do it, didnt last long after my lawyer got a hold of things. Best of luck to you man and we are all pulling for you.

[KG]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

Hang in there CB!

[slickdtc]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

This is BS and pisses me off. Like Phobia said, I'm sure there are two sides to this, but you recognize your illness and have taken steps to keep it in check with medication. From your stories here, I know your stepdaughter is special needs and you made the decision to adopt her.

For her to keep you away from your newborn son is beyond reprehensible.

Stay strong my friend. This is your thread to write it out now. We're listening.

[Bullit]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

CB,

Know that you are not alone. I am not trying to hijack your thread because you all knowI have one of my own.

November 19 was the 3 year anniversary of my daughters passing. On November 16 my wife let me know that she couldn't live this life anymore and that she wanted a divorce. On December 19 she moved out. Leaving me with no income, no money and all of the bills for the house. We to had been married for just over three years. I have had to sell my car to pay the bills and I am trying to get the house on the market and figure out where the hell I am going and what I am going to do.

So brother if you need anybody to talk to, lets grab a virtual beer and have a chat. I am here if you need me and as always you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[countryboy]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

CB,

Know that you are not alone. I am not trying to hijack your thread because you all knowI have one of my own.

November 19 was the 3 year anniversary of my daughters passing. On November 16 my wife let me know that she couldn't live this life anymore and that she wanted a divorce. On December 19 she moved out. Leaving me with no income, no money and all of the bills for the house. We to had been married for just over three years. I have had to sell my car to pay the bills and I am trying to get the house on the market and figure out where the hell I am going and what I am going to do.

So brother if you need anybody to talk to, lets grab a virtual beer and have a chat. I am here if you need me and as always you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Wow man, I'm so sorry to hear. You're not hijacking the thread man, we're all family in this place. I'm no where near in the situation you're in. I still have an income, can live on my own when things settle down and I understand what I can and cannot afford.

If you need to talk please PM me. My only thought is my Son. I've come to the conclusion that my step-daughter has turned against me and that's fine. Not that I want it to be that way, but she needs her mother and counts on her, so I understand. It hurts but she's better off with her mom than me and I can admit that. What I don't get is keeping my son from me. I pay for his daycare, his diapers, and now his food as he is getting older. I never saw any of this coming and all I want is my son. No explanation, no anything. Just my son.

I have hired an attorney. I'm considering going after full custody of my son, due to some of the things that have taken place, but I won't drag her through the mud. Not my nature.

[Flightwhite24]

2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

Wow man, I'm so sorry to hear. You're not hijacking the thread man, we're all family in this place. I'm no where near in the situation you're in. I still have an income, can live on my own when things settle down and I understand what I can and cannot afford.

If you need to talk please PM me. My only thought is my Son. I've come to the conclusion that my step-daughter has turned against me and that's fine. Not that I want it to be that way, but she needs her mother and counts on her, so I understand. It hurts but she's better off with her mom than me and I can admit that. What I don't get is keeping my son from me. I pay for his daycare, his diapers, and now his food as he is getting older. I never saw any of this coming and all I want is my son. No explanation, no anything. Just my son.

I have hired an attorney. I'm considering going after full custody of my son, due to some of the things that have taken place, but I won't drag her through the mud. Not my nature.

CB I know it's hard but in the near future you will be seeing your son, your Lawyer will make sure of that. Not sure if your Lawyer has informed you yet but courts prefer when both parents are equally involved.

Listen to your Lawyer and things will work out. Maybe not at the speed/pace that you would like but eventually they will.

I ended up with custody of my 2 children when it was all said and done and it wasn't because there mother was a bad parent but because of the shenanigans her and her Lawyer continued to pull. I stayed the course and even when I knew I was being sent through unnecessary changes I continued to follow the rules and it just got to the point where courts said enough was enough. The look on my ex's face when they awarded me custody. If felt good but at the same time it was a terrible feeling that the woman I thought I knew had a side I never knew could exist.

When my ex told the courts I should only see my kids 4 days out the month I simply told the judge that I've never been a 4 day a month father up to this point and didn't feel I should start now. I simply said I feel we both should raise them equally. Now mind you I had not seen my children for over a month when we first separated. The judge agreed with me and a temporary order was put in place of 50/50 custody.

Hang in there CB




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[Rules]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

Prayers coming your way my friend. I'm sure it's really hard on you at this moment but keep your head up and stay strong!

[countryboy]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

CB I know it's hard but in the near future you will be seeing your son, your Lawyer will make sure of that. Not sure if your Lawyer has informed you yet but courts prefer when both parents are equally involved.

Listen to your Lawyer and things will work out. Maybe not at the speed/pace that you would like but eventually they will.

I ended up with custody of my 2 children when it was all said and done and it wasn't because there mother was a bad parent but because of the shenanigans her and her Lawyer continued to pull. I stayed the course and even when I knew I was being sent through unnecessary changes I continued to follow the rules and it just got to the point where courts said enough was enough. The look on my ex's face when they awarded me custody. If felt good but at the same time it was a terrible feeling that the woman I thought I knew had a side I never knew could exist.

When my ex told the courts I should only see my kids 4 days out the month I simply told the judge that I've never been a 4 day a month father up to this point and didn't feel I should start now. I simply said I feel we both should raise them equally. Now mind you I had not seen my children for over a month when we first separated. The judge agreed with me and a temporary order was put in place of 50/50 custody.

Hang in there CB




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Thanks man! I am not giving up hope!

[dickey1331]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

Damn CB that sucks for your wife to do this so randomly. It hurts more when you don't see it coming.

[steelerfan]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

I've been through it too. It's very difficult. It will change you forever but you have to embrace the change. I'm a much different person (almost 8 years later) than the one my ex knew (we were married for 11 years when we split).

I forced myself into a couple of career changes and couldn't be happier now in that area. I figured if change was coming I may as well make changes that I will like.

Obviously, there are alot of other differences but I won't go into that boring detail.

The two biggest pieces of advice I can give though are to NEVER talk poorly to your son about his mother and always keep your cool when dealing with your ex (she will likely not follow either of these but it's important that you do).

My philosophy has always been to "let her be the idiot" and she is over and over and over.

Keep your head up, there is life after her. I hope for the best for you.

[fistofrage]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

Well there are 3 sides to every story, your side, her side, and the truth, but it would really appear like she has the issues to leave a man that cares about his family and provided a nice home to live in to go be on her own and take care of a special needs child and a newborn by herself.

Just curious, what are her grievances?

Good luck with all of this.

[ChubbyBanana]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

Man this is rough. Sorry to hear about this CB. Hopefully things get sorted and your life can get back to a new normal soon.

Hang in there!

[Hassan Darkside]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

Good luck bros in here going through this.

This is probably my biggest fear about marriage--being blindsided with divorce. Whether or not I'm in touch with her reality, I'd hate to be in a position where I was forced to involuntarily live out the lyrics to When Doves Cry by Prince.


I'm sure y'all have replayed several moments/arguments/discussions that have happened in the past trying to figure out how she could just leave you standing in a world so cold. Is there anything you can think of that you would've done differently prior to her untying the knot?

[aukevin]

Re: 2016: Starting off with me getting divorced

Stay strong CB. You know we all care about you here!