Broken Controllers

[GiantBlue76]

Quote: Originally Posted by TTD71

I lost count years ago. I have issues. Multiple issues. Yes, its stupid in the highest degree and yes, its massively foolish to lose it on a video game ever - but I have come to terms with this years and years ago...I get mad and I refuse to pretend to be OK with it. I prefer to howl at the moon, blow off the steam, forget it and move on. But I can be volcanic at the time it happens for sure... I have flung them into the wall, shattered them into a million pieces on a concrete floor (before the basement was finished and the man cave was built). In college, I threw one through a screen and into the yard - out the front windows, took another one that was already partially broken and hit it with a baseball bat and after that set the remaining pieces on the ground and hit them with an old 3-wood (actually had a wood head on it); flushed one in the toilet (360 controller with the mic still attached...still can't believe I did that because it broke, but I still had to fish the thing out of the can...luckily I had calmed down enough to NOT follow through with the original plan, which was to take a dump on the controller IN the can), took another one outside and hurled it to my neighbor's dog (the stupid mutt brought it back like we were playing fetch)...In High School and then later, I ran one over with my car, threw another into the street and a third into traffic across from my first apartment (that was a Sega Genesis controller I think...). I smacked my brother in the back of the head with one of the old Nintendo NES controllers hard enough to make one of the red buttons pop out - but that was Tecmo Bowl; and he earned it by not shutting up about Bo Jackson and Christian Okoye..."Nigerian Nightma...owwww, dude WTF?!?! (rubbing head)"...smack talk is called "smack talk" for a damn reason! My brother learned the reason that day... I have also poured an entire beer into a PS2 (shorted that son of a bitch out like a sparkler) - trouble was it was not mine but a friend's who likewise would not shut up about winning 3 in a row one night and using Vick to clown my entire CPU defense after I would get caught switching defenders...so he ended up with my PS2 and I got myself a new one that time. Recently I have gotten tired of replacing them so instead of hurting the controllers I spew nasty language that would make the saltiest longshoreman blush. I try to string together as many free-flowing profanities as I can before I run out of breath...sadly, that doesn't usually get past 8 - 10 before I run out of breath...it ain't the years so much, its the mileage... Its good to have a man cave that is sound proofed for audio...keeps my wife and kids safely away from profane outbursts that you would have to hear to believe and even then you'd probably ask yourself "did he REALLY just say THAT?"...

TT - I have to say, this had me cracking up relentlessly, especially the part about you contemplating taking a dump on the controller, LOL. I'm an old school sports game guy myself, and my buddies and I would beat the hell out of each other playing madden back then. I was 15 when madden debuted on the genesis yet we acted like 6 year olds. I've only broken a controller once, but fist fights for us were the norm, lol.

[Juce734]

Madden 96 for Sega Genesis. I was 11 years old when that came out and was so angry with trying to create my player that I broke 1 controller by slamming it down on the edge of my bed frame.

[falconfansince81]

i haven't broken a controller recently, as i learned my lesson after the 1st two. last december i winged one at my christmas tree, shattered glass all over the floor. it did not go over well with the lady...she did not understand the devastation of an OF playoff loss.

[UK0wnag3]

I've broken three or four over the years. I've started lining up the broken ones against the wall as a reminder to any console/game that wants to screw me over that I can make things very, very ugly.


P.S. - This is one of the funniest threads I've read in years, it's nice to know you're not alone.

[KingV2k3]

I broke a few PS2 controllers back in the day and snapped one disc in two (Madden 2003?)...

Since that?

1) PS3 controllers price point somehow "derails the rage"

2) After a decade of heavy sports gaming, I NOW know it ain't me, it ain't the sliders, it's just the randomness / unintended consequence of programming

Solution:

Rage Quit (usually by pulling power cord out of PS3) and WALK AWAY QUICKLY, while spewing a litany of profanity...

Punching the couch is also a nice option...