Kiwi Insane Wrestling Inc. (TEW 2010)

[The GIGGAS]

So at the end of 2011, I was in a slump. I was stuck, waiting for my fiance to graduate college. We were expecting to move to the Pacific Northwest, but I guess fate had a different idea.

Late in January, she told me something interesting.

"You know how I love New Zealand?"

"Sure, sweetheart."

"I, uh, got a job there."

"That's great! Wait... so what happened with the grad school idea?"

"Well, I mean, think about it! I wanted to live in NZ, and then a perfect job comes along."

"But what about me?"

"Well, I guess it's time to look for a job."

---

After a few months of not finding anything, I started getting desperate. I submitted my resume to a wrestling promotion in New Zealand called Impact Pro Wrestling, who needed a webmaster. Sadly, I didn't even get that.

However, someone at Television New Zealand must have been in my initial resume blast. I got a call from them later that day.

"Mr. Snider, how are you today?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Good, good. Look, I'm going to get down to the point. We don't need any software developers right now, but we heard that you applied for the head booking job at IPW."

"Actually, I didn't apply for the head booking job, I applied for the webmaster job."

"It's funny, but I was told that the webmaster job was a smokescreen, since they're looking for a head booker. Either way, I did some investigation and found you're a big wrestling fan."

"I am one of those, you are correct."

"Have you ever done any fan booking?"

"Honestly, yeah. I can send you the links if you want."

"Sure. Forward them to my email. We'll be in touch."

---

I sent him the links, but assumed that nothing was going to come from it, and continued with my job search. Two days after the initial contact, I got another call from TVNZ.

"Mr. Snider, I loved your work. I'll let you know why I'm contacting you. We at TVNZ just bought a small backyard federation and we plan on using it to attack IPW."

"Well, that sounds great. Do you want me to design a website for it?"

"No, no, Mr. Snider. We want you to run it. We read your fan booking and we loved it. We think you can do a great job at this."

"Wow. Uh, I would love to. This is great!"

"I'm glad to hear you've accepted! You'll be booking the first show. Oh, I didn't tell you. You have a weekly show on our television station on Thursdays. So you'll need to sign a roster and put on a show immediately."

---

That is how I started my career in a foreign land as part of a new industry.

[The GIGGAS]

Main Eventers

Rampage

Marsellus

Hal Schulz

Upper Midcarders

Mistral

Mark Haskins
Managed by Mr. Moneybags

Steve Allison

Ivan Kiev

Midcarders

Mr. Moneybags

Ethan Page

Lower Midcarders

Bernard Föhr, Esq.

---

Announcer

Todd Romero

Color Commentary

Mike Snider

__________________

Rose City 'Til I Die
Duuuuuuuvvvvaaaaaaaal
Hokie Hokie Hokie Hy

Member: OS Uni Snob Assoc.
OS OT Post Champ '11

Twitter: @TheGIGGAS_OS
Xbox Live: TheGIGGAS
3DS: 1349-7755-3870

---

Last edited by The GIGGAS; 06-05-2012 at 03:31 PM.

[The GIGGAS]

New Zealand

VACANT

Internet

Mr. Moneybags (won Thursday, Week 1, March 2012)

Maori Cup

Annual Competition in February

2012: Hal Schulz

[The GIGGAS]

KIWI TV
Live in front of 8 fans at a small local arena in Auckland, New Zealand
Thursday, Week 2, February 2012

Main Show

Christoph Bondzio is in the ring

Bondzio: Welcome to the debut episode of KIWI TV! We have a great event planned for you tonight. This February, we've got to decide in this very ring who is going to win the Maori Cup! We've got four preliminary matches tonight to determine the four wrestlers who will have a shot later this month to be able to win it, so instead of continuing to yack, let's get this party started!

F

------

Mr. Moneybags comes down to the ring before his match and grabs a mic

Moneybags: Hello. I'm sure you all know me, I'm a Swiss tycoon, although I'm sure that there are plebeians out there that disparage my kind and call themselves the 99%. But look at it my way. I had to cut down on my private jet expenditures because of the Greece economic crisis. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to make it all back when Facebook starts its IPO, but the point is that I have suffered more than ANY of you, so when you start hurling insults, just remember. I can buy you and sell you, and I take joy in firing people. Now let's see who I get to lay off tonight.

Moneybags throws down the mic and starts loosening up for his match

E

------

Hal Schulz vs Mr. Moneybags
Maori Cup Qualification Match

While Moneybags antagonized the crowd, Schulz was instead down to business, walking down the ramp without even acknowledging the fans. As soon as Schulz got in the ring, Moneybags attempted to bludgeon the machine with rights and lefts, but it didn't even phase Schulz. Schulz made quick work of Moneybags, hitting the Schulz Driver and ending the match.

Winner: Hal Schulz

E+

------

Rampage vs Bernard Föhr, Esq
Maori Cup Qualification Match

Föhr came out briefly before the match, saying that he objected to the match he was in and wanted a stay of proceedings. However, unluckily for the former lawyer, the judge was coming in the form of Rampage. Rampage ran down to the ring as fast as he could. Föhr desperately pleaded with him to get out of the match, but Rampage wasn't hearing any of it. Rampage quickly hit his Brainbuster Suplex and punched his ticket into the Maori Cup competition.

Winner: Rampage

E-

------

Ethan Page vs Marsellus
Maori Cup Qualification Match

Ethan Page came out, hyping the crowd for his match by high fiving fans, and running around the ring, posing on the top turnbuckles. However, his enthusiasm was dampened by the beastly appearance of Marsellus. Page tried to mount an attack but Marsellus absorbed it and unleashed his fury on Page. After a few dominating minutes of wrestling, Marsellus hit his Sit Down Spinebuster and put Page away.

Winner: Marsellus

E-

------

Marsellus grabs a mic as Page leaves the ring

Marsellus: I am only here to inflict punishment on saps like the one that just left the ring. If that gets me championships and trophies, so be it. But this is a warning to the rest of the men in the back: I'm coming for you.

F

------

Mistral vs Steve Allison vs Mark Haskins
Maori Cup Qualification Match

Mistral was the first to come to the ring, walking down with no emotion or posing. Allison was next, with a mic, explaining that one day he was a fan, but now he is doing what he loves: wrestling. Haskins was the last to come down, taunting both of the older wrestlers, acting cocky about his soon to be win. The match itself was even until Mistral hit a Hafenrundfahrt on Allison. Haskins saw an advantage and hit Mistral with a superkick, which knocked Mistral out of the ring. Haskins quickly covered Allison for the win.

Winner: Mark Haskins

E+

------

Bondzio and Snider are shown

Bondzio: What a night of wrestling! We've got our four wrestlers set for the Maori Cup competition.

Snider: That's right, Christoph. It looks like we'll have Rampage, Hal Schulz, Marsellus, and Mark Haskins will be competing to take home the inaugural Maori Cup.

Bondzio: We've only got two more weeks of February to go, and who knows what kind of crazy competition will result from this.

Music video displaying all four wrestlers, hyping up the competition

F-

------

Final Show Rating: E-

[TheShizNo1]

Not exactly sure which character to get behind. Was gonna choose moneybags, but he got destroyed lol.

[The GIGGAS]

KIWI TV
Live in front of 10 fans at a small local arena in Auckland, New Zealand
Thursday, Week 3, February 2012

Pre-Show

Mistral vs Steve Allison

Mistral started the match with his eyes on the prize, a win over Allison. He took the early advantage in the match until Allison was able to break out of a headlock with the help from the fans' spirit. From there, a back and forth match emerged. Both men were beaten down and the pace became slow, as both men struggled to keep their feet after their devastating attacks. When Allison missed a clothesline, Mistral hit a Hafenrundfahrt, pinning Allison to win the match.

Winner: Mistral

E+

------

Main Show

Todd Romero is in the ring

Romero: Last week we saw who our four finalists were for the Maori Cup. This week, we'll have semifinal action as we figure out who will fight next week for this year's cup! The first matchup will be Mark Haskins taking on Rampage! Our main event tonight will be the other semifinal bout, with Marsellus taking on Hal Schulz. The winners of those two matchups will fight next week on KIWI TV for the cup!

Fans cheer

Romero: Also, I have a special treat for everyone, as I have exclusive news on what kind of match up the finals of the Maori Cup will be. It will be one of the most brital match types in the world: a cage match!

More cheering

Romero: Without further delay, let's kick off the show!

F-

------

Ivan Kiev vs Bernard Föhr, Esq

Ivan Kiev made his debut in the KIWI ring, taking to the air to attack Föhr, who didn't get much offense in. Kiev made short work of the lawyer, and finally put him down for the 3 count.

Winner: Ivan Kiev

E+

------

Mr. Moneybags enters Mark Haskins' locker room

Haskins: Eh, what's this all about?

Moneybags: I know you're about to head out to your match, so I'll make this brief. You are a great wrestler. Everyone here can see that. I have a very particular set of skills, and bankroll, that can make you a star. We can take over this company, you and me.

Moneybags writes a check and hands it to Haskins who looks at it with shock

Moneybags: Are you my ally?

Haskins puts down the check

Haskins: I have to go out there to face Rampage.

Haskins leaves, while a confident Moneybags watches him go

F

------

Rampage vs Mark Haskins
Maori Cup Semifinal Match

Haskins started off the match laying back, forcing Rampage to come to him. His cockiness got him in trouble though, as Rampage was able to take the advantage during a Haskins taunt. Rampage took control of the match, although Haskins worked to wear down the loyal superstar. Rampage accidentally ran Haskins into the ref, which put the ref out. Moneybags ran from backstage, hitting a Toblerone Driver on Rampage. He then woke the ref as Haskins covered Rampage for the win and the bid into the Maori Cup Finals.

Winner: Mark Haskins

E

------

Moneybags re-enters the ring as Haskins celebrates

Romero: Well, Mike, do you think this means the offer that Moneybags laid at Haskins' feet will be accepted?

Haskins eyes Moneybags until he grabs Moneybags' wrist and raises it in celebration

Snider: Well, I think that is proof enough. Haskins was a difficult opponent before. Having Moneybags behind him for monetary and physical backup will only make him harder to deal with.

F

------

Marsellus vs Hal Schulz
Maori Cup Semifinal Match

This match pitted the man beast Marsellus against the machine that is Hal Schulz. Marsellus started the match outmuscling Schulz, causing some major damage. Schulz was able to reverse a bodyslam and started his offensive attack, focusing in on the legs of Marsellus. Marsellus was able to use his strength to break out of an attempted Boston Crab, and continued to put a beat down on Schulz. Schulz, however, was able to reverse a massive kick to a Sharpshooter, forcing Marsellus and his weakened torso and legs to tap out.

Winner: Schulz

D-

------

Schulz is in the ring, and Haskins comes down to the ring and the two wrestlers stare each other down

Romero: Are we going to start the match for the Maori Cup now?

The locker room runs down to separate the two wrestlers

Snider: I gotta admit, Todd... I simply can't wait for this match. It's going to be fantastic.

F

------

A graphic showing Schulz and Haskins is shown

Romero: Well, there we go! The two wrestlers that will be facing off in a cage for the Maori Cup will be Hal Schulz and Mark Haskins!

Snider: Like I said earlier, this could be an early contender for match of the year.

F

------

Final Show Rating: E-

[TheShizNo1]

I like money bags and the Dibiase shift. Pretty damn good buildup to the main event.

[The GIGGAS]

KIWI TV
Live in front of 10 fans at a small local arena in Auckland, New Zealand
Thursday, Week 4, February 2012

Main Show

The opening hits and we go directly to Todd Romero and Mike Snider at the announce booth

Romero: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to KIWI TV! We've got a spectacular main event for tonight, as we'll decide the inaugural Maori Cup champion!

Snider: Not only that, Todd, but the match will take place in a steel cage. The only way to win is to escape that brutal construct.

Romero: It certainly will be a crazy match, especially with the two wrestlers being completely different. It will be the machine, Hal Schulz, taking on the cocky Mark Haskins.

Snider: Don't forget that Mr. Moneybags has signed Haskins as a client. You can pretty much assume that he'll have something to do with this match.

Romero: That's exactly right. Well, I think we've blabbed enough for right now, let's get to the show!

F+

------

Rampage vs Marsellus

This match was made as a consolation to the two losing wrestlers from last week in the Maori Cup semifinals. Marsellus started the match hot, attacking Rampage mercilessly. However, Rampage was able to counter a splash into the corner by getting out of the way, leading Marsellus to collide directly with the turnbuckle. Rampage was able to get some good offense in, to the delight of the crowd. After a bit of match which both wrestlers gained and lost momentum, Marsellus started to gain a lot of advantage. However, he attempted to hit a DDT, which was countered into Rampage's signature Brainbuster Suplex. Rampage scrambled to cover the man beast. Marsellus kicked out microseconds after the referee counted the pinfall to 3, leading to a Rampage victory. Marsellus took his anger out on the announce table, while Rampage had his arm raised in the ring.

Winner: Rampage

E

------

Steve Allison vs Ivan Kiev

Allison had asked for a match on the main card after having to take on Mistral last week in the undercard, and this match was set up. Allison took the offense to Kiev early, but made a mistake when he ran outside to high five some fans. Kiev took the opportunity, hitting a suicide dive over the top rope on Allison. After sliding Allison back in the ring, he hit a springboard moonsault on him, and very nearly got the pinfall, but Allison kicked out. Ivan continued his assault, finally hitting a Shooting Star Press for the victory.

Winner: Ivan Kiev

E+

------

After a hard fought match, Allison and Kiev regain their feet and go to congratulate one another, when Mistral's music hits

Romero: Mistral? What is he doing, coming out here now?

Snider: I don't know, Todd, but it's best to get out of his way.

Mistral hits the ring and demolishes both Allison and Kiev

Romero: Well, I think that's a message if I've ever seen one.

Mistral poses

F-

------

Ethan Page vs Bernard Föhr, Esq

Föhr attempted to bring the offense quickly to Page, however, Page only took a few punches before taking complete control of the match, squashing the lawyer quickly with a spear.

Winner: Ethan Page

E-

------

Mark Haskins vs Hal Schulz
Maori Cup Finals Match
Steel Cage Escape Match

Both men entered the old WWF-style blue steel bar cage through the door, and it was locked behind them. After the presentation of the Maori Cup to both competitors, the match started. Haskins quickly attacked Schulz, launching a barrage of using the cage as a weapon against the machine. Haskins repeatedly launched Schulz into the cage and slammed Schulz's face directly into the unforgiving steel. However, Haskins made the mistake of taunting the crowd instead of continuing the barrage, allowing Schulz to make a comeback. Schulz also used the cage to his advantage, repeatedly slamming the knee of Haskins into one of the bars. He continued his attack on the knees of Haskins, including Boston Crabs and Figure Four leglocks.

Haskins battled back after Schulz momentarily turned his attention to Mr. Moneybags, who was trying to gain his attention. After a huge DDT that left Schulz on his back, Moneybags threw a couple of chairs in the ring for Haskins to use. Haskins grabbed one, readying himself for Schulz, who got up and hit a spear on Haskins. Schulz then put a chair under Haskins' head and slammed the other chair down on it, performing a one man con-chair-to. He then motioned towards the door, which Mr. Moneybags was holding shut. Schulz climbed the cage with one of the chairs.

Haskins stirred, and tried to stop Schulz from climbing out of the cage, but met another chair shot from Schulz. That chair shot split Haskins wide open, who was left bleeding in the middle of the ring. Schulz reached the top of the cage with the chair, while Mr. Moneybags started to climb the cage from the other side to stop him. Once Moneybags had reached the top of the cage, straddling the top, Schulz hit him with a chair shot, and Moneybags fell into the ring. Schulz climbed over the top of the cage and released, with his feet hitting the outside, winning the match and the Maori Cup.

Winner and 2012 Maori Cup Champion: Hal Schulz

E+

------

The cage is raised, while Moneybags and Haskins leave. Schulz is presented with the Maori Cup, and he puts it on the canvas and stares into the camera

Romero: With the Maori Cup decided, where will KIWI go from here?

Snider: Who knows? I'm looking forward to seeing where it all leads. For now, though, congratulations to the machine, Hal Schulz!

Romero: Indeed, he is the happiest guy in this arena tonight... If, of course, he understands happiness. Good night everyone, and see you next week!

F

------

Final Show Rating: E-