Women

[ODogg]

Re: Women

You just answered your own question.

Cuz i'm ugly? I don't recall saying that..LOL

[Altimus]

Re: Women

Cuz i'm ugly? I don't recall saying that..LOL

LOL

Cause you are too good of a friend. Girls get that, there usually is no reason to become GF/BF type deal. They are satisfied with that.

I guess sometimes it works. It only worked once really good for me. I was best friends with a girl for 4 years before we kind of realized and said hey, why don't we just go out.

[Herbsinator]

Re: Women

Ok...I get that...friend zone=bad.....

But no one has told me what I'm doing wrong or what I need to do different when I'm around girls....should I like be a **** and not call them and stuff like that?

[cjonesfan921]

Re: Women

Don't always do what she says. Don't talk to her on the phone for 4 hours straight. Don't call her/call her back after one day. Wait a couple of days. Even if you are not busy, just say that you are, or don't even pick up. I know it sounds stupid, but it works. You can also turn her down if she asks to do something one night. Not always, but some times. Also, most girls like a guy who can make some decisions and doesn't always rely on her. You don't have to ask her where she wants to eat, you pick a place, she'll go and like that you picked it out. Stupid **** like that goes a long way. Just don't be a push over, in other words "whipped".

Most importantly, someone already mentioned it, but confidence. You have to have confidence in yourself. Or at least look like you are confident in yourself. I used to be shy to walk up and talk to a girl, but I realized that the worst thing that can happen is you getting turned down. So what. It happens. It has happened to every guy, and will continue to happen.

Ok...I get that...friend zone=bad.....

But no one has told me what I'm doing wrong or what I need to do different when I'm around girls....should I like be a **** and not call them and stuff like that?

I just posted that for the thread, but it comes out perfectly. It basically answers your question. I wouldn't say don't call, just don't call the next day. Or if you said i'll cal on Thursday. Call of Friday and be like something came up. Stuff like that. Don't be a ****, not what i'm saying at all. But don't be a push over either. There is a fine line in between and that's where you should be.

[Altimus]

Re: Women

Ok...I get that...friend zone=bad.....

But no one has told me what I'm doing wrong or what I need to do different when I'm around girls....should I like be a **** and not call them and stuff like that?

Hard to say.

This works for me. First get a feel for each girl and kind of see what the limits are and push those limits. Each girl is different but the principle is pretty much the same.

What I do is. Date ends whatever, girl usually says call me tonight or tomorrow. I say sure. Do I call... nope. She calls next day and leave voice mail wondering why I didn't call. I don't return the call and a few days pass. She calls again and I answer and explain I forgot about her and was busy. At this point the girl thinks how could I forgot about HER?! At this point they are kind of pissed but interested. This can of course back fire and the girl will just be pissed and call it a day.

The way I see it, others may not see it that way but it works for me so... is that girls are more interested at things they can't get. Usually a hot girl can get any guy... cause face it, usually we are idiots. Flip the table and the girl starts wondering why isn't he interested in me.

Key is to be an ***... for me anyway, but a softcore type ***. The way I see is in a relationship I should be above or mutual with the girl, never ever below.

[cjonesfan921]

Re: Women

Hard to say.

This works for me. First get a feel for each girl and kind of see what the limits are and push those limits. Each girl is different but the principle is pretty much the same.

What I do is. Date ends whatever, girl usually says call me tonight or tomorrow. I say sure. Do I call... nope. She calls next day and leave voice mail wondering why I didn't call. I don't return the call and a few days pass. She calls again and I answer and explain I forgot about her and was busy. At this point the girl thinks how could I forgot about HER?! At this point they are kind of pissed but interested. This can of course back fire and the girl will just be pissed and call it a day.

The way I see it, others may not see it that way but it works for me so... is that girls are more interested at things they can't get. Usually a hot girl can get any guy... cause face it, usually we are idiots. Flip the table and the girl starts wondering why isn't he interested in me.

Key is to be an ***... for me anyway, but a softcore type ***. The way I see is in a relationship I should be above or mutual with the girl, never ever below.

Exactly. Girls are interested in things they can't get. Or in this case can't get a hold of. Seriously, it kills her because she thinks you were too busy and weren't thinking of her. That'll make her want you more. Inside, you are probably thinking about her all day, you can't let her know that though.

[ODogg]

Re: Women

Exactly. Girls are interested in things they can't get. Or in this case can't get a hold of. Seriously, it kills her because she thinks you were too busy and weren't thinking of her. That'll make her want you more. Inside, you are probably thinking about her all day, you can't let her know that though.

That's been my downfall for getting dates. But then once I get a girl I get kinda stir crazy and try to avoid them and keep to myself, then they are all into me even more, sometimes to the point of stalking. So I know that is 100% true.

[Herbsinator]

Re: Women

well shoot....sounds like I need to totally re-evaluate my whole situation....lol

I'm in pretty decent shape, I'd like to think I'm funny, not really that bad looking, good personality, being around girls doesn't make me nervous or anything, confidence really isn't a problem....I really don't think there is a reason I shouldn't be getting chicks. It's probably that I've just been trying to be too nice and eager.

[ODogg]

Re: Women

well shoot....sounds like I need to totally re-evaluate my whole situation....lol

I'm in pretty decent shape, I'd like to think I'm funny, not really that bad looking, good personality, being around girls doesn't make me nervous or anything, confidence really isn't a problem....I really don't think there is a reason I shouldn't be getting chicks. It's probably that I've just been trying to be too nice and eager.

You don't share a real life name with a serial killer or anything like that do you? Like your name isn't Ted Bundy or such is it? LOL

[Herbsinator]

Re: Women

You don't share a real life name with a serial killer or anything like that do you? Like your name isn't Ted Bundy or such is it? LOL

Nope, nothing like that. LMAO

[Altimus]

Re: Women

Exactly. Girls are interested in things they can't get. Or in this case can't get a hold of. Seriously, it kills her because she thinks you were too busy and weren't thinking of her. That'll make her want you more. Inside, you are probably thinking about her all day, you can't let her know that though.

Bingo! Once a girl senses that it's pretty much over. One of two things will happen. She will either lose interest or if it goes to a relationship be prepared to wear the dog chain.

[Graphik]

Re: Women

Let me interject here and say that I also believe that this "material" is legitimate even in that light. This stuff CAN be about banging as many chicks as possible, or it can be about finding that one girl that you want to settle down with. It's all in how you use it. I met my girlfriend when I was out in "the field" running a "routine" at a "bar/nightclub" on "multiple sets". All the lame jargon crap and everything. The whole bit. In normal terms, I met her when I was out one weekend trying to pick up chicks. I can't say I went out that night to meet someone to settle down with, but I played the game and that is the route I took it. I can't guarantee I would have met her if I wasn't out that night doing that.

It's all in how you use it. At its most fundamental level, though, I believe this stuff is about helping guys interact with women. It's not "bad". It doesn't have to be about banging as many chicks as possible. It is what you make of it.

I think Graphik has a good point in that being true to yourself and what you want and being confident with that is the key. But that can be harder than it sounds and sometimes the lines between that and "game", or wading through all of the biologically-ingrained gender games, can be blurred. Sometimes you have to play the game just to get the chance to be real with someone.

I highlighted a real interesting point you made. It is true that while you must remain true to yourself while meeting women, you must play the game to some extent.

Most females are pre-programmed to like "game". If you aint got none, then you dont have any business talking to them. It still all depends on confidence though. For example, when the inevitable question of "what do you like to do" pops up. You can be real and tell them that you frequent a message board for the majority of the day and play xbox live to the wee hours of the morning, a better answer would be "wouldn't you like to find out". If said with enough confidence, you'd raise your attraction and all the while remain appealing without even showing your hand. It can be called game or it can be called being confident. All depends on how you look at it like you said.

[mgoblue]

Re: Women

I highlighted a real interesting point you made. It is true that while you must remain true to yourself while meeting women, you must play the game to some extent.

Most females are pre-programmed to like "game". If you aint got none, then you dont have any business talking to them. It still all depends on confidence though. For example, when the inevitable question of "what do you like to do" pops up. You can be real and tell them that you frequent a message board for the majority of the day and play xbox live to the wee hours of the morning, a better answer would be "wouldn't you like to find out". If said with enough confidence, you'd raise your attraction and all the while remain appealing without even showing your hand. It can be called game or it can be called being confident. All depends on how you look at it like you said.

Very true...Guys have to play hard to get as well.

I suppose where I shy away from the pick up artist stuff is when it's all scripted, over multiple dates. IE. meet her using magic trick A. Hook her using this people analyzing trick B. Etc.

In how to be confident, not be a doormat, and just how to have a spine it's golden. Women don't want a spineless yes man.

[Graphik]

Re: Women

Same with me. No matter what it's automatically into the cuddle-bitch/nice-guy role. ****ers.

Ahh...the infamous cubble-bitch role. I love this topic so much cause I used to be one till I found out what the problem was. There are various reasons why a guy enters the friend zone. Some examples: you're to availible, you're scared to say no a girl, you open up to quickly, you're scared to make a first move....this list can go on and on.

One thing I've learned from reading various articles is to: "give a little and take it back". What that means is you give a chick only so much of you then in an instant, you step back and become mysterious and unpredictable again.

The second you beome predictable, especially during the early stages of a relationship, is the second when she'll lose interest. For instance, when she calls, do you always pick up the phone? Do you always call her at the same times every night? Do you constantly listen to how her day went but she could care less about yours? Do you listen attentively while she rants about other guys she knows? Do you bend over backwards whenever she asks for a favor?

If the answer is yes to more than one then you may be heading towards the friend-zone.

In order to give a little and take it back, for instance, when she calls, you know you're not doing anything, you know you're bored tryna beat that creature with the bats flying around on Gears, you know that the rest of your day will be filled with catching up to episodes of Grey's Anatomy, whatever you do, dont answer the phone! Let her mind wonder as she calls and hears a voice mail. All the time thinking of possible things you could be doing. All the time wondering if you're talking to somebody else. Are you out with somebody else. Hmmm.....

I know you want nothing more than to hear her sweet voice. In fact, you've been thinking of it all day. But when she calls, you let the phone ring. Looking at the name on your caller id. Now you've got her where you want her. Thinking of you. Of course this can all backfire and she could just go down to another guy on her list. .....anyway. Call back later that evening and she'll be anxious to know what you were up to. But dont tell her right away!! Let her ask. She wont ask off bat but she will eventually inquire about your whereabouts. If she does this, your attraction is still there.

If you always answer every time she calls. Sometimes with nothing to talk about...you'll induce boredome. Before you know it, you're a predictable sap and she feels that she can call and talk to you whenever SHE wants you. Turn the tables and make her want you....right when she cant have you.

My lady tried to turn me into a cuddle-bitch a few times. But I always prevailed. She'd call me up sometimes and ask for a favor. Whether you know it or not, its like a test to see if you'll do whatever she asks. So she'd ask for a favor and to tell the truth, yes, I did it. But right when she thinks she's found a friend in me, I'd switch back into mysterious mode. Next day she'd call and I'd be unavailible. Whether through not answering or answering and telling her I'm busy. Right then and there, I won my attraction back.

Most guys make the mistake by thinking that if a chick asks you for a favor and you do it, you're earning some brownie points and she likes you even more when you do it. All you're doing actually is making yourself look desperate to please her and she'll catch on immediately. Another way to turn the tables is to ask her for a favor in return. See if she'll do it. That way you're not looking as pansy as the guy who asks for nothing in return.

[grismosw]

Re: Women

Ok...I get that...friend zone=bad.....

But no one has told me what I'm doing wrong or what I need to do different when I'm around girls....should I like be a **** and not call them and stuff like that?

Friend zone is not always bad. My wife and I dated, stopped dating and became very good friends, then dated again. However, that is probably pretty rare.

You have to (1) be yourself, (2) like yourself, not care if you are single, know what you want from her, and try to figure out what the hell she wants from you. Its a tricky process but I think 1 and 2 are the most important.

I used to have issues talking to women, I'd get nervous and all that. That happened for about the first year I was single, after a 6 year relationship. I only dated three chicks in that first year, one just wanted to f-ck and the other two were looking for a serious relationship but I wanted to f-ck the other two and date the one that wanted to f-ck.

Then I just quit dating for about six months, during that time I realized that I had to like myself in order to have someone like me. I also realized I needed to know what chicks wanted to f-ck and which ones wanted a relationship. After a year of nothing but chicks that want to f-ck, which was a good year by the way but I was ready to settle down. I figured out who I was and what I had to offer to chicks, and I finally liked myself.

Then I had dating success, I dated 10 girls in a span of 14 months. We'd date for a little while then I'd lose interest and a couple of them also lost interest, I wasn't what they were looking for and they weren't what I was looking for.

I finally said screw it and I was fine with being single, then I met my now wife. I was myself, I didn't care if she didn't like me because I liked who I was and if she didn't then who cares.

And if you have trouble approaching women, have a few drinks...liquid courage but don't get wasted...trust me that doesn't work.

And confidence is sexy, being cocky is not.