Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

[Bird006]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Tell her to get a damn job or do something with her life! Eventually she'll get bored with doing nothing and that's not a good thing. She needs to be occupied. You just have to tell her that it's not a fantasy world, you want to be with her but if she can't pull her own weight, you can't be with her.

Too many times I've seen guys get back with their girls because they let their whole heart make up their minds. You have to think and feel your way through it. Using just your head or just your heart will doom you to keep failing.

Trust me, my man, I've told her. I'm helping her apply for jobs at the moment actually, and I've explained many times that she can't just wait around and expect me to be there. Right now my life's flying, either she's going to fly as well or get left behind. Quite simple.

Personally, I've seen pu**y doom too many dudes. My brother, for example, is 20, miserable, with two kids and a bitch for a fiance. He got hung up on his first, and now he's stuck for the rest of his life.

Giggas, I respect what you're saying man, but I agree with Nivek. A lot of dudes stick with their respected partners because of the feeling that they'll never be happier with anybody else. Same thing goes for chicks, who get treated like **** and neglected, simply because of that feeling that they'll never find what they have (which at times is a lot less than they make it seem).

I expect to get married one day, have kids and all that good stuff.. But not for a while. There's just way too much tail around right now that's begging to get tapped.

[TheMatrix31]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

You can only deal with what you have, not with what you don't have.

If I had a GF that was that serious and everything was perfect, there is absolutely no freakin' way I'm giving that up because there might be something even better out there. No way whatsoever.

[Bird006]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

You can only deal with what you have, not with what you don't have.

If I had a GF that was that serious and everything was perfect, there is absolutely no freakin' way I'm giving that up because there might be something even better out there. No way whatsoever.

That's a great mindset, but you have to realize that it's never going to be "perfect". Ever.

Girls are crazy, they're insecure, naggy, demanding, needy, etc. Sometimes it gets tough for a dude to deal with it, especially at a young age. Sure, maybe it's immaturity or they can't man up and commit, but in the end, if you're not happy in a relationship, then why be in one?

Even if I met the perfect girl right now, I'm not sure if I could totally commit. I just know that in this point in my life, and the next few years, I am not ready to deal with the baggage that comes with a relationship. It's a HUGE commitment. You sacrifice your freedom, your desire and sometimes, some dudes get so caught that they sacrifice themselves as a person. They become soul-less robots who can no longer think or have an opinion.

It's an extreme example, but I've seen it happen. It scares the living **** out of me.

[The GIGGAS]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

20 years old? You're just a baby right now. I'm not saying that she can't be the one, but don't rush anything.

When we get married, we will have been going out for about 7 years. We've currently been going out for 3.

[Bird006]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

When we get married, we will have been going out for about 7 years. We've currently been going out for 3.

You sound happy, and I'm glad for you, dude.

But.. Watch out. You've given this girl the power to shatter your dreams. I hope everything works out, though.

[The GIGGAS]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

You sound happy, and I'm glad for you, dude.

But.. Watch out. You've given this girl the power to shatter your dreams. I hope everything works out, though.

But at the same time, I have the same power (at least, since I trust her telling the truth).

[rudyjuly2]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Oh, if anyone cares, I'm 20, and I've been with my GF for over 3 years. And I can't wait to make her my wife.

Good for you Giggas.

Some guys are ready sooner than others. My twin brother got married at 21. It's what he wanted and he's still happily married for 15 years. That was WAY too soon for me. I got married at 30 to my wife who was 26 (it will be 6 years this October). We dated for two years before I popped the question and we are still happily married.

My gaming time has slipped but she's pretty cool about it. I got her a DS for her birthday one year and she has a Wii now and loves the Wii Fit.

[callmetaternuts]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

I know/knew just as many women as men who are afraid to get married. Seems it's a universal thing. It isn't a gender thing, its typically lifestyle or where they/you are in your life. We've all run across guys who say they wont get married, but for every dude out there like that, there is a women just the same way.

[ehh]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

I know/knew just as many women as men who are afraid to get married. Seems it's a universal thing.

LOL, until a woman hits her late 20's. Then it's like a switch goes off in her head.

Must....get....married....to any man.....possible....

[countryboy]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Giggas don't sweat it man.

My thing is this, if you sit around waiting for the perfect woman to come around, you're going to be lonely your entire life. The perfect woman is the woman that loves you for who you are and who you love for who she is.

If you love your GF and feel she's the one, then there is absolutely no reason to do anything other than walk down the road of life together.

If you spend your life always looking for the "next best thing in love", you're going to miss all the riches and blessings that love has to offer.

[rudyjuly2]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

If you spend your life always looking for the "next best thing in love", you're going to miss all the riches and blessings that love has to offer.

I agree 100%. This doesn't mean anyone is settling either.

I personally don't believe in soul mates. I've never thought there is one and only one person out there that is perfect for me. There are a ton of great women out there and when you find one that you feel that strongly about marrying, you make a commitment and make it work. If you go into it with truly knowing each other, its not that much work either. My wife and I rarely have big arguments and have enjoyed all nine years (six married plus three years dating/engaged) and two kids later!

[slickdtc]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

If you love your GF and feel she's the one, then there is absolutely no reason to do anything other than walk down the road of life together.

Exactly.

A lot of guys just want to go out and get as much as possible. That's never been me or my girlfriend's thing. We're mature beyond our years regarding our relationship. We've had no problem committing to each other. I'd rather go through this part of my life with someone that I really care about then do it alone. She's the only girl I've loved and the only one I ever will truly love. I'm sure someone will read that and roll their eyes, but I've never been more confident and sure about something then I am about this.

I can't wait to visit this thread years down the road and proudly say I'm still with this girl and that, if the time is right, we're married and still happy.

I do understand that people have different opinions though. For me, this is the right choice. For some other guy, they may want to wait until they're in their late 20's or 30's to really settle down. It's just how YOU feel.

[ehh]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

She's the only girl I've loved and the only one I ever will truly love. I'm sure someone will read that and roll their eyes

I'm guilty of eye-rolling.

[stewaat]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Why does mature have to mean wanting to settle down? That's what I don't get. I'm mature and don't want to settle down.

Mature and love are two of the most overused words on this planet.

[callmetaternuts]

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

I dont think every woman wants to settle down in their Mid 20's. I can attest to one in particular whom i dated 5-6 years ago.

I agree, people can get older, more mature and not necessarily want to "settle down". It has to be for the right reasons for that person at that time. Not allo f us are on the same clock. Some people are ready at 20, some at 30, some even later.