Anyone try online dating sites?

[Scott]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

May I ask if you guys are living in a big city? I figured that was kind of a factor. Also it seems crazy that match.com is the goto site now. Years ago it was eharmony

sent from galaxy note 3

I met my wife in Austin. So yes.


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[NYJets]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Bump

Anyone still using these sites?

Looking for first date advice. How aggressive/flirty are you guys on the first date vs. more just talking, getting to know each other, etc. I'm really trying to figure out where I'm going wrong.

I'm having pretty good success getting responses, numbers, dates, but not much after that. None of the dates have been disasters or anything, a few though it was pretty obvious that we weren't going to click, which is fine. But then I've had a few that I had a great time, and it seemed like she did too just by body language, laughter, and I've gone home feeling good about it, but then things ended. Like one girl from a couple months ago I felt like it went well, at the end she suggested we do it again, and we even discussed logistics a bit for getting together again. Then I texted her a couple days later just asking about her weekend, no response. Or another one more recently I thought we had an amazing connection, we were talking and laughing the whole time, we had a ton of stuff in common, it felt much more like we had known each other for years than we were meeting for the first time. At the end I suggested we get together again, and she said yea, but had a look on her face like she was hesitant. All the other signs were good so I shook it off, texted her the next day that I had a great time and would like to see her again and got no response. Like a day later I texted her something else just about the Knicks because she's a huge fan and she responded but then the conversation died. With this one I even reached out again like a week later trying to start a dialogue again, no response, and later on suggested we do something as friends, and also got no response. Probably shouldn't have sent those last 2 but I figured why not at that point.

Anyway, only thing I can think of is maybe I'm not being aggressive enough as far escalating touching, going for the kiss at some point. Do you guys tend to push for that on a first date off an online site? I've gone into them more just keeping it casual, seeing if we can have a good conversation, enjoy each other's company, and then go from there. Would playing it too cautious on the first date be enough for a girl to not want to go on a 2nd?

Also, any ideas for good/fairly cheap activities to do on a first date that are indoors? Only thing I can think of is bowling, which I would like, but I think some girls would think is lame. I've basically just been doing meeting for drinks, but maybe it would be better to have some type of activity too, there's just not much to do outdoors this time of year with ****ty weather.

[mattsb84]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Met my current gf (8+months now for us) on eharmony. I hadn't really dated prior (long term relationship previously) but went on several dates before meeting her, so I have some experience here.

For me, the initial meetup was always the same..grab a drink somewhere and just talk for a few hours (typically cheap). I'd say you don't need to make a move the first date, but if it goes well, and you like the girl, it cant hurt. It lets her know you're at least interested in moving forward. If you're not making any moves by the end of date 2..its doa in my experience. So I guess in that sense, you need to be aggressive. Now that said, I'm in NYC, so I know these girls had other options than just me..I assume its the same where you are.

If I was interested and the first date went well, I'd reach out a few days later, and setup dinner. A few times, oddly enough, I've done bowling for a 2nd date, and it worked out well. So you could certainly do that. That said, the bowling alley I went to was like a bar/restaurant and less like a standard bowling alley.

[TMagic]

Anyone try online dating sites?

Bump

Anyone still using these sites?

Looking for first date advice. How aggressive/flirty are you guys on the first date vs. more just talking, getting to know each other, etc. I'm really trying to figure out where I'm going wrong.

I'm having pretty good success getting responses, numbers, dates, but not much after that. None of the dates have been disasters or anything, a few though it was pretty obvious that we weren't going to click, which is fine. But then I've had a few that I had a great time, and it seemed like she did too just by body language, laughter, and I've gone home feeling good about it, but then things ended. Like one girl from a couple months ago I felt like it went well, at the end she suggested we do it again, and we even discussed logistics a bit for getting together again. Then I texted her a couple days later just asking about her weekend, no response. Or another one more recently I thought we had an amazing connection, we were talking and laughing the whole time, we had a ton of stuff in common, it felt much more like we had known each other for years than we were meeting for the first time. At the end I suggested we get together again, and she said yea, but had a look on her face like she was hesitant. All the other signs were good so I shook it off, texted her the next day that I had a great time and would like to see her again and got no response. Like a day later I texted her something else just about the Knicks because she's a huge fan and she responded but then the conversation died. With this one I even reached out again like a week later trying to start a dialogue again, no response, and later on suggested we do something as friends, and also got no response. Probably shouldn't have sent those last 2 but I figured why not at that point.

Anyway, only thing I can think of is maybe I'm not being aggressive enough as far escalating touching, going for the kiss at some point. Do you guys tend to push for that on a first date off an online site? I've gone into them more just keeping it casual, seeing if we can have a good conversation, enjoy each other's company, and then go from there. Would playing it too cautious on the first date be enough for a girl to not want to go on a 2nd?

Also, any ideas for good/fairly cheap activities to do on a first date that are indoors? Only thing I can think of is bowling, which I would like, but I think some girls would think is lame. I've basically just been doing meeting for drinks, but maybe it would be better to have some type of activity too, there's just not much to do outdoors this time of year with ****ty weather.

Yea.

Id say getting physical at some level is a must. Keeps you from being thought of just a buddy or something.

Her thinking of you in a sexual way is pretty much the only thing separating you from being just another guy friend or a potential mate.

So start early with touching and build it up to where you are able to "get away with" a little more throughout the date.

My favorite thing to do to get her comfortable with me in the beginning was leading a girl through a crowd. Since you say you go to bars, it should be pretty easy to do.

Grab her by the hand with confidence, dont ask if its ok or not, and lead her through the crowd to wherever you're trying to get to. Dont hesitate. Dont bring attention to it. Just do it. Like you would if you had been seeing her for years. Once "clear" of the crowd, let go and pick up conversation.

Easy.

[NYJets]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Yea.

Id say getting physical at some level is a must. Keeps you from being thought of just a buddy or something.

Her thinking of you in a sexual way is pretty much the only thing separating you from being just another guy friend or a potential mate.

So start early with touching and build it up to where you are able to "get away with" a little more throughout the date.

My favorite thing to do to get her comfortable with me in the beginning was leading a girl through a crowd. Since you say you go to bars, it should be pretty easy to do.

Grab her by the hand with confidence, dont ask if its ok or not, and lead her through the crowd to wherever you're trying to get to. Dont hesitate. Dont bring attention to it. Just do it. Like you would if you had been seeing her for years. Once "clear" of the crowd, let go and pick up conversation.

Easy.

Thanks, definitely makes sense.

The grabbing her hand through a crowd thing is a good idea, but most of my bar dates have been more happy hour, or weekday nights, and I'm not in a big city so those places aren't usually crowded. Definitely gotta find a way to be more physical early though.

[NYJets]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

If I was interested and the first date went well, I'd reach out a few days later, and setup dinner. A

Do you not text or talk to them until you reach out to setup dinner? Or do you talk to them after the first date just not talk about a 2nd date until a few days later?

I don't live in a city, so I think the culture is a little different. Not that girls aren't talking to other guys at the same time, I'm sure they are, but I don't get the feeling that most of them have been lining their calendars with dates either.

[seasprite]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Haven't had a reason to go on them in the last few months, thanks to meeting someone on there.

[TMagic]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Thanks, definitely makes sense.

The grabbing her hand through a crowd thing is a good idea, but most of my bar dates have been more happy hour, or weekday nights, and I'm not in a big city so those places aren't usually crowded. Definitely gotta find a way to be more physical early though.

Hmm. That makes things a little tougher. But you can still manage.

What I would say is when you go to these places, dont sit at a booth or table if you cab avoid it. Sit at the bar.

The table keeps you guys distant. It acts as a barrier both literally and psychologically.

Avoid this by sitting at the bar. You can be next to each other but its not awkward because youre not facing directly at each other.

Plus you get the added bonus of being close. Now you can work in touch as you guys are talking and laughing.

Id also think about leaving if youre in a decent area to walk around for a bit after. Just take a short stroll. Adds to her memories of the night. Especially if you end up at another cool little spot after.

By the end of the night, she should feel closer just because you've done multiple dates together even though it technically was the same night.

[NYJets]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Hmm. That makes things a little tougher. But you can still manage.

What I would say is when you go to these places, dont sit at a booth or table if you cab avoid it. Sit at the bar.

The table keeps you guys distant. It acts as a barrier both literally and psychologically.

Avoid this by sitting at the bar. You can be next to each other but its not awkward because youre not facing directly at each other.

Plus you get the added bonus of being close. Now you can work in touch as you guys are talking and laughing.

Id also think about leaving if youre in a decent area to walk around for a bit after. Just take a short stroll. Adds to her memories of the night. Especially if you end up at another cool little spot after.

By the end of the night, she should feel closer just because you've done multiple dates together even though it technically was the same night.

Good advice, thank you!

[Molarmite]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

What do I have to do to get a response on Match? I have not received a single response since May and I send on average 20 messages a month so that's over 100 messages with no response. All my messages mention something in their profile and ask a question for them to respond. Suggestions? PM me or something, this is getting ridiculous.

[TheDutchDad]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

So, I met my wife on an online dating site. We used Christianmingle.com because we're both Christians. She is from Ohio and me Colorado and it was actually a long distance thing for a bit as she was finishing up school in Pennsylvania. We definitely made trips back and forth to see eachother before she eventually moved to Colorado and got a job after graduating. She lived here for about a year and half tho until we got engaged and married.

Those sites do work. I meet more people today who have met their partner online.

[darkknightrises]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Yes I have tried online dating sites and they don't work lol. Between a few sights I have messaged like 200 woman and only like 10 have responded and out of the 10 that responded not one message me back more then just once.

[seasprite]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Yes I have tried online dating sites and they don't work lol. Between a few sights I have messaged like 200 woman and only like 10 have responded and out of the 10 that responded not one message me back more then just once.

You're doing it wrong..............

[mattsb84]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Do you not text or talk to them until you reach out to setup dinner? Or do you talk to them after the first date just not talk about a 2nd date until a few days later?

I don't live in a city, so I think the culture is a little different. Not that girls aren't talking to other guys at the same time, I'm sure they are, but I don't get the feeling that most of them have been lining their calendars with dates either.

I think i used eharmonys email system to probably just say "had a great time, hoping to grab dinner with you next week if you're around" or something along those lines. Then they'd give me a few days/times they were available and I handled the rest.

I think the other aspect, especially with something like harmony, is that you have a lot of people paying who are genuinely interested in finding a relationship. It's not a hookup site like tinder/okcupid/most of the free online sites.

[Bmore]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Yes I have tried online dating sites and they don't work lol. Between a few sights I have messaged like 200 woman and only like 10 have responded and out of the 10 that responded not one message me back more then just once.

10 responses from 200 messages is really not that bad when it comes to online dating.

You have to consider the amount of messages women get on a daily basis. I doubt many have the time to respond or even read every message.