Need family advice!!!!!

[Scottdau]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

ODogg, I would give her the money but with conditions. Sit her down and tell her how you feel about her always needing to borrow money to get out of situations. And that she needs to become responsible for her own financial well-being.

Keep in mind man, tough love is love too.

And then remind yourself she gave you life and with out her and his dad doing the nasty, there would be no Odogg. Odogg this is your mother you are talkling about give her the cash!

[Jonesy]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

Obviously it's a tough situation and Johnny does give some great advice but personally i could never see my parents needing to borrow money as leeching. Were you leeching off her when you were baby needing diapers, were you leeching when you were 6 and needed books and clothes for school? No you had a basic need and she loved you and provided it.

Obviously if she doesn't actually "need" the money and is just doing to milk some money out of you it's a different matter but i'd personally give money to my mother in a heartbeat no questions asked. Of course everyone's relationship with their parents is different so you'll just have to do what you think is best.

Good luck with it bro, doesn't sound like a great situation regardless of whichever option you choose......

[23]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

Finally, someone who knows where i'm coming from. Thank you for weighing in. I really want to see my mother (and my sister) both realizing that they need to try to do something better than living day to day and bumming people for money. I do NOT want my mom kicked out but I honestly believe she will make more noise if it really came to that.

If I could tie giving her $250 to her going to see a doctor and at least trying to get work i'd do it in a heartbeat. The problem is my grandparents have, as I said, tried this sort of tactic time and time again to no avail. The entire thing rests on sympathy, the "you'd let your mom get kicked to the street??" angle.

When the crisis is over so too is the ambition for any change to the situation. That's what really worries me.

Okay look man..

If she is on the street, will she have to stay with you?


Ive been in a similar situation with my mother in law and my wife

tough situations make people change and adapt

What is her primary source of income if she has any...because you need to ask her alot of questions then about what happened to the money, how she spends it last month, this month, etc...

Sit down and talk to her man, its your mom

Its best to get things out from jumpstreet rather than find yourself in the situation.

[Cusefan]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

I feel for you, I too have a lazy Sister. Its Amazing, she is 26 and does not strive to make anything over $10 a hour.

[Heelfan71]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

Not saying you shouldn't help her out, but saying she will loose her house unless she gets $250 ? Sounds fishy. You have to get way behind to loose your house, much more than $250

[Jackdog]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

I know, but it is your mom. End of story for me. Even if it is every month I would still help her. And I am sure your mom has done a lot for you over time.

Unless she's an alcoholic of addicted to drugs I agree wit Scottdau. In today's economy and knowing what has happened to my parents retirement funds I would happily fork over 250 a month to them. I'm sure that's a drop in the bucket compared to what she's done for you.

Just my opinion.

[funky_chicken]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

I know my response may not be met with kind words but I will throw it in anyway. Why don't you move in with her. More then likely if something were to happen to your mom (not wishing anything bad by any means) you are going to end up with the house some day. You say you want to buy a house. Why not invest in a house that will some day be yours? I am sure you are paying rent which can go towards mom's mortgage payment. and helping her out.

[countryboy]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

whether you decide to give her the money or not ODogg, you really do need to sit her down and talk to her about this. If she's constantly needing money to get out of jams, then something has to be done. She can't keep going about life and finance in this manner.

[mjb2124]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

Truthfully, based on the reaction to some responses, it sounds like ODogg's mind is already made up. I could be wrong, but it seems like you'd prefer not to give her the money and came on here to get reassurance of that. If that's your choice, go for it.

As I stated before, I'd give the money to my mother (and I don't know your entire situation). I only have 1 mother, 1 father and 1 sister. My parents brought me into this World, cared for me, did a great job raising me and got me started in "the real world" on the right foot (ie: paid for all my college tuition - nearly 95K so I could start saving/investing my very first paycheck). I could never thank them enough for all of that and will do anything for them.

I don't see a problem with giving her the money this 1 time and at that same time sitting down and discussing the problems you see. Maybe she doesn't even realize what she's doing is hurting other members of the family and causing issues? I think communicating all of this with her is the best route.

[Scottdau]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

Even if my mom was going to buy drugs I would still give her the money. It is my mom. And I would trust her, but I agree with Heel. Only $250 to save the house? What gives?

I agree with Mike too. He sounds like he doesn't want to give the money and he is waiting for someone to agree with him, so he feels better. Odogg if you don't want to don't do it. You are an adult and it is time for your mom to be adult, but in my case I would give my mom the money.

[Sportsforever]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

Ah...this woman wiped your butt and cleaned your snotty nose when you were a kid. I give it to her, but that doesn't mean you can't address the other issues going on.

[countryboy]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

I believe ODogg stated the money was for home owner's insurance, not a house payment.

[Scottdau]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

So you can lose your house by not paying the home insurance?

[TheMatrix31]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

Tell her to stop smoking and you'll give it. Then tell her that if she stopped smoking, then maybe she wouldn't have health problems and maybe she'd have money in her pocket so she wouldn't have to bust your balls for it.

[PVarck31]

Re: Need family advice!!!!!

Jesus man, its your mom. Give her the money. I understand your hesitancy, but she raised you correct? I am sure she has sunk thousands upon thousands of dollars into raising you. As you say, you make "good money". You gonna let your mom get kicked out of her house over $250 to teach her a lesson?

There are times to teach lessons and prove points, but there are also times to help your family. This is most certainly the latter.