Should your wife take your last name?

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

I prefer we share a name (preferably mine because I'm fond of it) just to simplify things. Besides, the way I see it is that your a family and families should share a name as a bond. Again, it could be the wife's name or the husbands name or a new name, but I think the husband the wife and the kids should all share a name...just makes sense to me.

How many people realize Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen are brothers

While it's an initial pain for a person to change their name (social security, drivers license, credit cards, etc.) in the long run it will save the every day annoyance of explaing to people that even though my wife has a different last name than my son, she is not a single/divorced or widowed mother.

Hi I'd like you to meet Junior Smith's parents Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smi-
No, it's is Mrs. Johnson.

I can see it if the name has some sort of fame or business attached to it as then it has value and then maybe you don't change it, but otherwise, IMO it presents a sort of lack of unity amongst the family. A name is something that you will always share and take pride in. With my wife taking a seperate name or having a different name than our child, I think it would be kind of odd to not share that.

Plus how do you address just a family if your sending mail or an invitation?

The Smith's
The Smith's and Johson's?
Mr. Smith, Mrs. Johnson and Family?

I prefer the Smith's

[JBH3]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

^ Good post Trev.

Also given the context of this being an issue between a couple exploring marriage...if this is the beginning to your marital problems then this just be a precursor warning that one or both of you are not meant for each other.

[DC]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

So those of you that think a woman SHOULD take her husband's name; what would your response be to this question (from your potential wife that does NOT want to take your last name)

"Why should I take your last name. COnvince me why I should."

[GSW]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

10 years ago we wouldnt even be having this conversation.

Half the things I want to say, and that are most likely true, I cant even say because 85% of you guys are extremly defensive and get upset if anyone says anything you percieve as "anti womens rights"

The Woman takes the name of the man because the Man is the head of the household...Head of household has nothing to do with Social or Financial Status.

The woman doesnt "have" to do anything, although it is a customary thing to do and has been done this way for 100's of years...The marriage doesnt "have" to be consimated by a huge festive event either, but customarily we see this being done worldwide...same thing.

Soon kids will be saying they dont want to take the name thier parents gave them because they dont like it....then 10 years from now all you will be saying "whats the big deal"

[JBH3]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

So those of you that think a woman SHOULD take her husband's name; what would your response be to this question (from your potential wife that does NOT want to take your last name)

"Why should I take your last name. COnvince me why I should."

Play her game:

"You know I love you right?"
"Why do I need a ring, and wedding ceremony to prove it?"
"If you know, and I know...we can't be secure in that?"
"Convince ME why I should pay a lot of money over something not as important to me as it is to YOU?"

If she's always "dreamt" of a wedding, and you've always expected your wife to take your last name then you meet in the middle.

Give each other what each want and be happy.

If this becomes an even more trivial battle, and there's been others like it than maybe re-evaluate your stance w/ this woman in your life for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. :wink:

[KG]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

I understand that it's something that needs talking about when two people are in love and going to get married...but the discussion here, for the most part, is as follows:

Man: It's the default tradition to take the man's name, so will you?
Woman: I don't want to.
Man: Why not?
Woman: [insert any reason here]
Man A: ***** get out of my life you are crazy, I hate you and never want to see your disrespectul face in my life again.

or

Man B: I see your reason, let's talk like civilized people and figure out a compromise since we love each other and are committing ourselves to each other in marriage.

Exactly. All you guys who say she has to absolutely take your last name could be in for a rude awakening. What are you gonna do if she says no? Break-up? You'll just have to deal with it. I've never heard of anyone who is married, wife has a hyphenated name, and their kids don't have the fathers last name.

So those of you that think a woman SHOULD take her husband's name; what would your response be to this question (from your potential wife that does NOT want to take your last name)

"Why should I take your last name. COnvince me why I should."

That's how I'd convince her, lol.

[DC]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

The Woman takes the name of the man because the Man is the head of the household...Head of household has nothing to do with Social or Financial Status.

Well I know there is a LOT of social pressure from other women and the media for a woman to prove her independence and to display the idea that "No man runs me." When in reality this is what a woman wants. Not saying a woman wants to be ran over, but women for the most part want a man that is going to LEAD them.

The man is supposed to be the leader and the follow should trust his leadership (if he has proven to be a valuable leader).

But again, society puts pressure on women these days to not look "weak and submissive." Especially in the black community but we have a female dominated culture for the most part.

[GSW]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

Well I know there is a LOT of social pressure from other women and the media for a woman to prove her independence and to display the idea that "No man runs me." When in reality this is what a woman wants. Not saying a woman wants to be ran over, but women for the most part want a man that is going to LEAD them.

The man is supposed to be the leader and the follow should trust his leadership (if he has proven to be a valuable leader).

But again, society puts pressure on women these days to not look "weak and submissive." Especially in the black community but we have a female dominated culture for the most part.

lol @ "no man runs me"

such backwards thinking man, but its so true.

[deaduck]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

How many people realize Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen are brothers

You do realize that Sheen is a stage name right and has nothing to do with marriage at all, right?

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

You do realize that Sheen is a stage name right and has nothing to do with marriage at all, right?

Yeah I'm aware. My only point was just that by having different last names, you lose that commonality that many use to link a family together.

[ehh]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

I could care less, it's almost as archaic and dumb as the concept of marriage itself.

[deaduck]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

Yeah I'm aware. My only point was just that by having different last names, you lose that commonality that many use to link a family together.

Emilio choose to stick with the family name to PREVENT that exact commonality you speak of with his famous father.

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

Play her game:

"You know I love you right?"
"Why do I need a ring, and wedding ceremony to prove it?"
"If you know, and I know...we can't be secure in that?"
"Convince ME why I should pay a lot of money over something not as important to me as it is to YOU?"

If she's always "dreamt" of a wedding, and you've always expected your wife to take your last name then you meet in the middle.

Give each other what each want and be happy.

If this becomes an even more trivial battle, and there's been others like it than maybe re-evaluate your stance w/ this woman in your life for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. :wink:

I like this.

[GSW]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

why in the hell are you gonna "play a game" with the woman you are about to marry.

lmao yall dudes be cracking me up

[stewaat]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

I'll give her two options:
1. My last name
2. No marriage but we can stay together. Any kids will have my name.

Kids will have my last name

My family name means everything to me.