My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

[Whitesox]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

IMO, if she's trying to address the issue, and even if it's not working, that effort would be enough to show me she cares...If she turns into some major shrew bitch who doesn't give a crap about what I think, then I'm not sure "staying together for the kids" would provide them a great home environment either...

I'm not a fan of divorce by any means, and I personally think way too many couples see divorce as the easy way out, instead of trying to work through their problems. That being said, I don't think 2 miserable parents make a happy home either.

It's interesting how in the bolded part you assume divorce means the father's not around...That's definitely the stereotype, but doesn't have to be the case if you're man enough to handle your responsibilities.

I agree, I think there comes a point where seperation is better than "staying together for the kids"; however, I believe that most couples seperate before that point.

[Cebby]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

Eh, I completely disagree.

So if fatties aren't responsible for their life choices, should drug addicts be responsible for theirs?

Not to mention 99.9 is a VERY, VERY exaggaterated figure.

How else do you think they get fat? Magic? Pumping themselves with air?

I'm giving .1% of the people a break for an obscure condition where their lungs turn air into fat or something.

[stewaat]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dyc3vQk7cwc

Even Musiq Soulchild knows the deal...

"I'll still want you if you gain a little weight"

We're not talking about 5, 10, or even 20 lbs.

We're talking about 40 lbs...40 lbs man...that's a lot!

[Cebby]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dyc3vQk7cwc

Even Musiq Soulchild knows the deal...

"I'll still want you if you gain a little weight"

We're not talking about 5, 10, or even 20 lbs.

We're talking about 40 lbs...40 lbs man...that's a lot!

It's about 30% of her original bodyweight.

I'm about 195, but in the 3 or so months that followed my senior year of football when I kept eating and stopped working out as much and stopped running almost completely, I went up to about 210-215 and couldn't stand the way I looked. I can't imagine going up to 253, and if I did, I can't imagine anybody ever wanting to sex me.

[deaduck]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

Or the FAR, FAR more logical assumption that she simply eats too much and exercises too little.

You know, the way 99.9% of fatties put on weight.

There is nobody to blame for anyone getting fat aside from the fatty in question and possibly Method Man.

If we're going to blame him for her eating too much, where does it stop? Are drug users not responsible for their drug use? Are cheaters not responsible for their cheating? Hell, maybe the only reason murders kill people is because somebody said they weren't pretty.

Way to paint with a broad condescending paint brush.

Sometimes the tunnel vision that comes with "perfection" limits the scope of understanding. If a soldier who was wounded in war becomes adicted to pain killers, do you judge him/her just as harsh? The factory worker who needs uppers to make it through the day, barely scraping for his family with two jobs...he a loser too?

[Cebby]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

Way to paint with a broad condescending paint brush.

Sometimes the tunnel vision that comes with "perfection" limits the scope of understanding. If a soldier who was wounded in war becomes adicted to pain killers, do you judge him/her just as harsh? The factory worker who needs uppers to make it through the day, barely scraping for his family with two jobs...he a loser too?

If the topic creator's girl friend became fat because she had her legs blown off by an IED, I'll rescind my comments.

However, since he failed to mention that, I'll stick to my "eating too much and exercising too little."

You guys are looking for zebras because you hear hooves at a racetrack

And I judge any drug addict harshly. Much like fatties, there's a simple solution to a simple problem.

There's a difference between having flaws and blaming others for them as an excuse for those flaws. I have flaws, but I don't expect people to give me a pass on them because someone said I was ugly. Personally, I try to correct my flaws when they're pointed out to me. When I was told that people didn't like me because I was mean, I started...*gasp*...being nicer to people. When my mother told me I was putting on some weight, instead of gobbling down ice cream, I cut a few hundred calories a day, do light workouts daily, and do simple things like getting off the metro a stop early and walking and taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I've had other issues, and I've corrected or worked on correcting those as well.

If I would have stayed mean, kept gaining weight, or have done a variety of other things, I certainly wouldn't expect my friends to remain my friends.

If the fat person in question is never told of the issue, she may not even realize she's getting fat. However, if she's going to get fat, she should accept the consequences that come with that.

[JBH3]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

Or the FAR, FAR more logical assumption that she simply eats too much and exercises too little.

You know, the way 99.9% of fatties put on weight.

There is nobody to blame for anyone getting fat aside from the fatty in question and possibly Method Man.

If we're going to blame him for her eating too much, where does it stop? Are drug users not responsible for their drug use? Are cheaters not responsible for their cheating? Hell, maybe the only reason murders kill people is because somebody said they weren't pretty.

I can only tolerate but so much of your non-sense.

In regards to drug use...Have you ever seen the TV show "Intervention" on A&E?

99% of the people on that show, who battle addiction, have had some type of tragedy or travesty occur in their life. Be it a father/mother unexecptedly dying, being sexually abused as a child, being raped as a teenager, or something so crazy I can see WHY they became addicted and empathize.

Every story I watch is the same. Tragedy occurs in persons life, they cannot cope, they turn to drugs.

Much is the same w/ eating. It is a drug so to speak when not used for it's sole-purpose. TO SUSTAIN LIFE! So when someone is fat, it's more than safe to assume that there is an underlying reason OTHER THAN I'm a lazy SOB.

As for cheaters...IMO they're just people who cannot control their urges, are selfish, and/or cannot confront the reasons why they're doing that.

As for the topic at hand...there are many lazy SOBs out there, and they're fat, and have no excuse other than their own laziness. But it's not everyone, and may not be this case.

Regardless...the reason why the OPs girl gained weight is for him to figure out through dialouge w/ her. All I'm trying to do is dispell this non-sense that you're posting as if you've done some type of scientific research for your "99.9%" BS, OR actually know what you're talking about.

[Rocky]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

You arent comprehending what I'm saying. If my wife puts on pounds and she exercises and eats less and healthier and still cant lose the weight....then thats a medical condition. I just want to see effort. You said marriage is work...then keeping yourself in shape is part of the work.

Then the unhappiness wouldn't come from the "physical attraction". The unhappiness would come from her unwillingness to compromise, her selfishness, and her lack of respect for the OP.

But no one has made a good argument to dispute JohnDough or JHB3's points yet. If you want to marry somebody, you have to be willing base your relationship on something other than looks because they can go at any time. xxxplosive's tone indicates that he can't get past that part of the relationship.

[deaduck]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

If the topic creator's girl friend became fat because she had her legs blown off by an IED, I'll rescind my comments.

However, since he failed to mention that, I'll stick to my "eating too much and exercising too little."

You guys are looking for zebras because you hear hooves at a racetrack

And I judge any drug addict harshly. Much like fatties, there's a simple solution to a simple problem.

There's a difference between having flaws and blaming others for them as an excuse for those flaws. I have flaws, but I don't expect people to give me a pass on them because someone said I was ugly.

Still swinging that big ole condecending paint brush with no idea what your doing.

Everything can be solved if you just pull up your bootstraps and tough it out...right, that's how you deal with every addiction.

And speaking of looking for Zebra's because you hear hooves....When did you talk to the OP's girlfriend allowing you to quote her "blaming others"?

[CMH]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

I'm disgusted with how much bigger this thread has become. It's not the same thread I posted in pages ago.

I feel like guys are arguing to argue now.

[Cebby]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

Everything can be solved if you just pull up your bootstraps and tough it out...right, that's how you deal with every addiction.

Basically

And speaking of looking for Zebra's because you hear hooves....When did you talk to the OP's girlfriend allowing you to quote her "blaming others"?

I'll drop this so that you guys can pat yourselves on the back for being good boyfriends, but you, the philly guy, and the rest damn sure never post anything about Americans lacking personal responsibility in future topics.

[TheLetterZ]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

But no one has made a good argument to dispute JohnDough or JHB3's points yet. If you want to marry somebody, you have to be willing base your relationship on something other than looks because they can go at any time. xxxplosive's tone indicates that he can't get past that part of the relationship.

The tricky thing is that "marriage" is such a strong thing.

I think most happily married guys would support their wives without question if the women suffered some type of terrible accident which compromised their looks.

But if guys in serious relationships, but not yet married, faced that same situation, I would bet a much lower percentage of guys would have the courage to stay with (marry) their partners.

Granted I have no personal experience to base that on, so I'd like to hear your thoughts.

[deaduck]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

I'll drop this so that you guys can pat yourselves on the back for being good boyfriends, but you, the philly guy, and the rest damn sure never post anything about Americans lacking personal responsibility in future topics.

A. I'm a good HUSBAND and my wife pats me on the back for it. No self patting needed.

B. I'll feel free to post whatever viewpoint I have and not give a ratty tat tat about you and what ever "threat level" you percieve yourself as having.

C. Masterful job of re-editing and deleting your posts when you realized your "Shock Jock" gimmick of saying outrageous stuff to get a rise was wearing thin. Bravo.

[Rocky]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

The tricky thing is that "marriage" is such a strong thing.

I think most happily married guys would support their wives without question if the women suffered some type of terrible accident which compromised their looks.

But if guys in serious relationships, but not yet married, faced that same situation, I would bet a much lower percentage of guys would have the courage to stay with (marry) their partners.

Granted I have no personal experience to base that on, so I'd like to hear your thoughts.

I agree and I think it's why so many people get married for the wrong reason. For instance, I had an ex girlfriend who was pretty attractive for about 4 years. But when it came time to make that big commitment I couldn't do it. We were together because there was a comfort level between us, because we were used to each other, and because we were somewhat attracted to each other. But the spark just wasn't there.

The relationship that I am in now is so much deeper than my previous relationship. I could honestly say that if something happened to this woman where she would become physically unattractive, it wouldn't make a bit of difference.

[JBH3]

Re: My OS brothers...I am at a crossroads. Help me out.

Basically

I'll drop this so that you guys can pat yourselves on the back for being good boyfriends, but you, the philly guy, and the rest damn sure never post anything about Americans lacking personal responsibility in future topics.

It's got nothing to do w/ that, and this response is more/less a copt out. I never said definitively that the OPs girl was fat because she's lazy, or because she's suffering from a physical/mental condition.

All I've tried to do is diffuse your nonsense that there's one way, and only one way to look at this situation...that situation seemingly being that fat people are beneath you/me because they are just the lazy/amount to nothing population of America.

That's not true, there is some truth, but that is not the whole nor is it anywhere near 99%.

Hell I saw this documentary of the fattest man on the Discovery Channell, and this dude ended up weighing like seriously a ton. Why?

Because in his childhood 7-10 and up his mother would sneak him food. Like 3rd and 4th helpings, developing extremely horrible eating habits and what not. Is this the situation of the OPs girl? Probably not, but it disproves that every fat and obese person is that way because of their own doing.

A. I'm a good HUSBAND and my wife pats me on the back for it. No self patting needed.

B. I'll feel free to post whatever viewpoint I have and not give a ratty tat tat about you and what ever "threat level" you percieve yourself as having.

C. Masterful job of re-editing and deleting your posts when you realized your "Shock Jock" gimmick of saying outrageous stuff to get a rise was wearing thin. Bravo.

*Pats deaduck on the back.

I'm disgusted with how much bigger this thread has become. It's not the same thread I posted in pages ago.

I feel like guys are arguing to argue now.

I don't know...it's been a good discussion IMO. What disgusts you now?