Lady Advice

[Altimus]

I'm in a little situation which might require some fine OS tuning. I started talking through this girl via a mutual person. Email last week, started texting over the weekend, texted ALL day Monday and talked to her on the phone that night. A little bit on Tuesday as we were both busy and sent a text yesterday morning and no reply since. Usually I'd be like eh but I just felt things flowing so well Monday and now nothing...

Now mentally I might be blowing this thing over. Usually I take whatever approach, replace and not chase but this one I don't know. At the end of the day I know I should be thinking it's just one girl, and I shouldn't be wasting this much time and effort into it but... I just feel a connection with this one which I don't want to think back later like what if I didn't do that extra step.

So at this point should I just wait? Text again this evening or what? Any advice appreciated.

[Blzer]

Re: Lady Advice

Just out of curiosity, what was the text that you sent? Hopefully it's only been a phone-related issue, and your text didn't go through or something.

Kind of OT, but I hate how Facebook has this new IM feature where it says when the recipient of your message has "seen" it, because now I can see when someone decides to ignore me for a moment, for whatever reason it may be. The less I know/suspect, the better.

Tying it back on-topic, do you have her on Facebook? I'm sure you can find a way to talk to her or acknowledge her through there without having to just say "Hey."

[Altimus]

Re: Lady Advice

No FB. I do have email though.

She was in Indiana coaching Monday from Wednesday so I sent her a hey last day in Indy right... everything going well so far type message.

[Blzer]

Re: Lady Advice

No FB. I do have email though.

She was in Indiana coaching Monday from Wednesday so I sent her a hey last day in Indy right... everything going well so far type message.

She might have checked it during an inconvenient time, then backlogged it and forgot about it. I do that all the time, which is why I urge myself to not check a message entirely at that time so I still have the missed alert later.

If she's back and you have anything in common where you can "take her somewhere," call her up, ask her if she's "back in town" yet, and maybe invite her along to tag along with you during the 4th of July. If that seems too abrupt, you can still shoot her a text with the same purpose (in that your message has more of a purpose than just saying hey).

I don't think it would be creepy to find her on Facebook if you know her first and last name, either. Maybe after she accepts a friend request, she'll outreach to you first.

What does she coach, by the way? You can ask her how they did.

[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: Lady Advice

Forget the text messaging BS.......Just call her. Invite her to the Taste of Chicago or ask her out to the movies. For me and the women that I know, the quickest way to get ignored and not be taken serious is to send text messages a lot instead of just calling.

And this for a couple of reasons that my women friends have told me.

1. They going to think you are too shy and too immature and not man enough for them if you constantly hiding behind text messages.

OR

2. They going to think your hiding something. That either you are married or living with another woman or your parents and that is the reason why you text more then you actually call them.

[Altimus]

Re: Lady Advice

Forget the text messaging BS.......Just call her. Invite her to the Taste of Chicago or ask her out to the movies. For me and the women that I know, the quickest way to get ignored and not be taken serious is to send text messages a lot instead of just calling.

And this for a couple of reasons that my women friends have told me.

1. They going to think you are too shy and too immature and not man enough for them if you constantly hiding behind text messages.

OR

2. They going to think your hiding something. That either you are married or living with another woman or your parents and that is the reason why you text more then you actually call them.

This is the route I will take in a little bit. If she answers, I'll ask her out.

[Graphik]

Re: Lady Advice

This is the route I will take in a little bit. If she answers, I'll ask her out.

IMO I think she's just busy and hasn't gotten back to you. Trust me when I say, dont sweat her for a sec man. If the connection is as good as you think it is, she'll reach out to you at some point. As for now, play it cool, find something interesting to do for a day and if you hear nothing from her today, I'd call or text tomorrow. Dont look desperate.

I'm willing to bet that if you lay off for now, you'll get a call tonight.

[CMH]

Re: Lady Advice

Text messaging is easy because it can be ignored until a convenient time which is one of the reasons I love it. It is also one of the reasons that make a relationship surrounded by it difficult.

The girl and I started hanging out in October, dating by December. It is now June. Want to guess how many times we've called each other?

Once. I called her (and left a voicemail) to set up our first hang out. When she responded by text, I just kept it at that level.

We text every day and we are both completely fine with it because the reality is we don't have time for the phone. We don't have time for 30 minute, 1-2 hour chats about our day.

Anyway, my point is, consider her work, personal and family life before you become distraught over a lack of text reply. I do think a phone call is more direct and will force her attention so that's the way to go if you want to get a response.

The worst is she doesn't pick up and never calls back. And if that happens then that's a bigger sign that she's not interested.

The text? It's your best friend or your greatest enemy. Just gotta accept it and either text again or make the call.

[jeremym480]

Three Day Rule.

Give her until the weekend and see if she texts you back. If she does't then text her. If she doesn't reply to that then cut your losses.

Sent from my VS920 4G using Tapatalk 2

[quaziemoto3]

Re: Lady Advice

Three Day Rule.

Give her until the weekend and see if she texts you back. If she does't then text her. If she doesn't reply to that then cut your losses.

Sent from my VS920 4G using Tapatalk 2

i agree with this approach, but i have been married for 9 years so what the **** do i know.

[AUChase]

Re: Lady Advice

I've been on two dates with a girl, without talking to her on the phone once.. some women prefer to text and she's one of them.

It doesn't bother me, because we do our own thing and just talk here and there and we're not constantly worried about what the other is doing.

I know I'll see her at the lake, this weekend, so I'm not worried about anything. If I send her a text in the morning saying "Good morning" and she doesn't respond 'til mid day, it's usually followed by a couple "I'm sorry, I haven't texted you because of X". I'm really not concerned why she did or didn't text me.. but she feels the need to apologize so whatever.

I think you're just over thinking it. Give it a day or so and then text her back or call her up..

[Cusefan]

Re: Lady Advice

I'm in a little situation which might require some fine OS tuning. I started talking through this girl via a mutual person. Email last week, started texting over the weekend, texted ALL day Monday and talked to her on the phone that night. A little bit on Tuesday as we were both busy and sent a text yesterday morning and no reply since. Usually I'd be like eh but I just felt things flowing so well Monday and now nothing...

Now mentally I might be blowing this thing over. Usually I take whatever approach, replace and not chase but this one I don't know. At the end of the day I know I should be thinking it's just one girl, and I shouldn't be wasting this much time and effort into it but... I just feel a connection with this one which I don't want to think back later like what if I didn't do that extra step.

So at this point should I just wait? Text again this evening or what? Any advice appreciated.

I have run into this "problem" before and I can honestly say that every single time I was just over thinking it and we end up going out. That feeling sucks though, it gets me every time.

[Bdubb]

Re: Lady Advice

I always think to myself that we’re not in this world to please other people. Sometimes people just don’t connect with you. Sometimes people don’t resonate with what you said. Sometimes there is just no chemistry with another person. How I kinda cope with rejection.

[Altimus]

Re: Lady Advice

Well I called last night... got VM so I left a VM and no response yet. Now I feel I messed this up somehow... no idea how.

The least I expected is a not interested. She always apologized if she was late to respond or whatever and now silence. Maybe she's busy, maybe I'm over thinking it. Either way this sucks. Usually I don't let myself fall in these traps but I feel like I'm just checking my phone every 20 minutes for her. The only time I'm not thinking about this is when I'm playing basketball...

I'll probably wait till Sunday and if nothing I'll send her a email with the haven't heard from you in a while, hopefully everything is ok.. etc. If nothing after that, I'll delete her number.

[CMH]

Re: Lady Advice

Well I called last night... got VM so I left a VM and no response yet. Now I feel I messed this up somehow... no idea how.

The least I expected is a not interested. She always apologized if she was late to respond or whatever and now silence. Maybe she's busy, maybe I'm over thinking it. Either way this sucks. Usually I don't let myself fall in these traps but I feel like I'm just checking my phone every 20 minutes for her. The only time I'm not thinking about this is when I'm playing basketball...

I'll probably wait till Sunday and if nothing I'll send her a email with the haven't heard from you in a while, hopefully everything is ok.. etc. If nothing after that, I'll delete her number.

Sorry to read this, man.

I want you to stay positive and think that maybe she's busy, but if a girl can't respond to you the same or very next day, then maybe you need to evaluate if she's right for you.

I know that sucks to say because I can tell that you really felt something with her and want it to work (we've all been there), but assuming things don't go well, you'll see in time it was probably for the best.

If she does respond to you then it's still something to consider because you shouldn't have to go through this mixed bag of emotions. I brought up the family, personal, work life deal, but there's also Altimus life. If you can't fit into her schedule then you're wasting your time.