I hope I don't get in trouble for this... Mods, please understand, I don't know where else to turn.
OK. My heart is still pumping a mile a minute. I've drank a few beers to calm the nerves, but it's not really helping and now I just had one of the most awkward things happen to me ever...
Now, most of you here should know that I don't BS. The following story is true and my best recollection of the nightmare that occurred about two hours ago.
My son is 2 and I am teaching him to hit the ball off a tee. In the past, he has cranked some shots over our fence (not really that far) and the ball lands in our neighbor's yard... Each time, I do the same thing. I walk next door, knock on the door, and ask if I can walk in their backyard to get the ball. The lady is probably 50 and she is nice. She always tells me, "You don't need to ask! Just go get your ball. The gate is unlocked."
I still always knocked... Until today.
My son hits one over the fence, and without hesitation, I begin the trek over to the neighbor's to get his ball. I go to knock on the door but stop, thinking that I'll just do what she told me and go get the ball. Maybe they are eating dinner and I don't want to interrupt their dinner or something.
I walk through the gate, and their dog runs at me. He is soaking wet and tries licking my hand. I pull it away and go to get the ball. When I am clear of their side yard, I scan the yard quickly for the ball, and low and behold, the nice neighbor lady is sitting in the grass with her dress hiked up and some dude under her... Um, I could use a lot of adjectives here but I won't because I value my membership here at OS. The guy sees me and literally throws her off of him and she sees me when she lands. She tells me to get the **** out of her yard in a high pitched squeal, so I hurriedly run out of there like my *** is on fire. I go back to my house, grab my son, and go inside.
About 10 minutes later, the doorbell rings and I am freaking the **** out. I thought it was the cops coming to arrest me for breaking an entering or something. No, it's the neighbor lady, and she hands me the ball and says, "Oops, it happens." She then WINKS at me and walks away. I shut all of the blinds in my house, put my son to bed, and got on OS.
This is a weird couple. I have seen her husband relieving himself while drinking a beer in their kitchen sink on more than one occasion (don't ask; our windows make it so that you can see right into both of our kitchens). I have seen him taking the garbage out in his underwear, which is not a big deal, except when he tries to strike up a conversation with me.
I don't know, OS. I just had to tell someone... Thank God our house is on the market and we'll be out of here soon.
This is some bull****.
OK. My heart is still pumping a mile a minute. I've drank a few beers to calm the nerves, but it's not really helping and now I just had one of the most awkward things happen to me ever...
Now, most of you here should know that I don't BS. The following story is true and my best recollection of the nightmare that occurred about two hours ago.
My son is 2 and I am teaching him to hit the ball off a tee. In the past, he has cranked some shots over our fence (not really that far) and the ball lands in our neighbor's yard... Each time, I do the same thing. I walk next door, knock on the door, and ask if I can walk in their backyard to get the ball. The lady is probably 50 and she is nice. She always tells me, "You don't need to ask! Just go get your ball. The gate is unlocked."
I still always knocked... Until today.
My son hits one over the fence, and without hesitation, I begin the trek over to the neighbor's to get his ball. I go to knock on the door but stop, thinking that I'll just do what she told me and go get the ball. Maybe they are eating dinner and I don't want to interrupt their dinner or something.
I walk through the gate, and their dog runs at me. He is soaking wet and tries licking my hand. I pull it away and go to get the ball. When I am clear of their side yard, I scan the yard quickly for the ball, and low and behold, the nice neighbor lady is sitting in the grass with her dress hiked up and some dude under her... Um, I could use a lot of adjectives here but I won't because I value my membership here at OS. The guy sees me and literally throws her off of him and she sees me when she lands. She tells me to get the **** out of her yard in a high pitched squeal, so I hurriedly run out of there like my *** is on fire. I go back to my house, grab my son, and go inside.
About 10 minutes later, the doorbell rings and I am freaking the **** out. I thought it was the cops coming to arrest me for breaking an entering or something. No, it's the neighbor lady, and she hands me the ball and says, "Oops, it happens." She then WINKS at me and walks away. I shut all of the blinds in my house, put my son to bed, and got on OS.
This is a weird couple. I have seen her husband relieving himself while drinking a beer in their kitchen sink on more than one occasion (don't ask; our windows make it so that you can see right into both of our kitchens). I have seen him taking the garbage out in his underwear, which is not a big deal, except when he tries to strike up a conversation with me.
I don't know, OS. I just had to tell someone... Thank God our house is on the market and we'll be out of here soon.
This is some bull****.
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