Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

[BunnyHardaway]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

Forgot a pretty big one. I have huge social anxiety problems, and because of that I refuse to walk into any place by myself unless I'm forced to. In high school, if one of my friends had us over at his house one night, I'd wait for one of my other friends to show up before I walked in; I did the same when we went to basketball/football games because it felt like the whole entire gym/stadium was staring at me. If I do have to walk in alone, I put my head down and stare at the ground the entire time and I assume that everyone is judging me or saying something bad about me.

I also agree with the "not working out around other people" one posted earlier...it's the main reason I don't work out.

[shugknight]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

I get really teary at soft spots in TV shows or movies.

Like the 30 for 30 episode with Jimmy V. Oh man... I felt like I was bawling.

The movie Click with Adam Sandler? I thought I had to run to the bathroom in case someone saw me.

[cjonesfan921]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

I have the exact opposite problem that some of you have posted about...

I used to say hi/good morning to plenty of people(mailman, cashier, doorman, bus driver)..and it only takes so many times of people just ignoring you, for you to be like, **** you all. I don't think I'm made to livie in NJ/NY. The times I've visited FL/VA, people were friendly. I went into a 7/11 in VA and the lady at the register actually said hi and asked how my day was...that..that just doesn't happen here. I think my experiences are what have led me to not give any more ****s about people up here. I have no problem being social or don't suffer from social issues, but it seems the people in my area feel like they're above everyone else..or I don't warrant a response.

--------------

Also, I have recently found that it is difficult to trust people. As some may know, I have been blessed with a good career and employment fresh out of college. It is a blessing that I never ever overlook. However, it appears that some of my 'friends' have decided they should try to bring me down. And it worked, for a year or so.

A little background, I've always been a jokester. I would joke about things, all things, in general. Apparently, now that I make a certain amount, I'm not allowed to joke around like I used to..or, I'll be considered, 'showing-off'. SMH. I was labeled, 'all-about money'. Yet, if one of them talks to me about the school he's at, first thing he mentions is starting salary for his field. -.-

I just don't know how some people are. I genuinely wish the best for everyone, it seems some people value some things a lot more than they should. Money never changed me(not that I am making it like that anyway), it changed the people around me, and it has also made me much less willing to trust people.

-----------------

For the people with social awkwardness...you are not missing much. Find out makes you enjoy life, and do it. You don't need acceptance from others or attention from others. Be you, it's never weird when you are yourself.

[Bmore Irish]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

that's the truth, cjones. i'm a very friendly person, but i've come to expect that many folks just aren't going to reciprocate. what i've realized more and more is that most people are strictly lookin out for #1. i mean i totally understand that you have to look out for yourself and put yourself first at times, but it's sad how often i see people destroy or bring down someone else for their own benefit. there's like no regard for other humans these days. though i've learned to appreciate the poeple in my life and who i meet who are truly trustworthy, caring, and have my back more than i ever have before, and i want to be there for them even more because i know it's a rare thing today. maybe i'm just cynical or something, and that's unfortunate because i used to be so much more of a positive/optimistic person, but i have really come close to losing all faith in humanity.

[redsrule]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

In first grade at my elementary school, kids always jumped down the stairs (it was around 7 steps I believe) and I was jealous of them doing it. So eventually I decided to do it too (when I was by myself) but it was wet near the top of the stairs when I went to do it and I didn't go nearly as far and I broke my ankle.

[Phobia]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

After all of this, I think it's time I post what is probably one of my biggest secrets.

Now, this one is probably going to ruffle some feathers, but... Too bad.

My biggest secret is:

Spoiler

I despise the police.

No, not the band, but the actual police force.

This may be a surprise to some of you since people know I spent 3 years as a law enforcement officer before starting a business.

Before I really get rolling as to why, I want to point out that I am still "cool" with almost all of my former co-workers and that no I wasn't fired or left my job on bad terms to make me think this way. Truth is, I was offered a promotion after I turned my two weeks in. I had great bosses, met some truly good guys, and helped a number of people in my 3 years, BUT... That's only one side of the coin.

My experience is just that. I worked with well over 100 officers/deputies/troopers in my 3 years and I can honestly say that the good cops, the bad cops, the good people, and the bad people all do one thing that makes me just absolutely hate law enforcement - They strongly practice the "Do as I say, not as I do" way of thinking.

A lot of the guys in my department were the true equivalent to frat boys. Whether in their 20's or 30's, they were hard drinking, misbehaving, entitled whiners that were cops 8-10 hours a day and thugs the rest.

I won't name names or link to articles, but one guy I worked with was hired on and placed on the mandatory 6 month probation period.

He waited til he was a few months in, went to a major concert (drinking problem in check) and proceeded to vomit over a whole crowd of people. When security went to ask him to leave he told them he was a cop and he didn't have to. Annnnddd then he got into a physical fight with the real police.

Know what happened to him after being charged with resisting arrest and disorderly conduct? Just 6 months extended probation. That's it. Period.

That's just the small tip of the ice berg.

See, this only encouraged guys from the area with a badge to keep up their hard drinking ways. I can't even begin to tell you how many times groups of off duty cops were kicked out of the local bars for being more belligerent than any group of civilians I have ever seen. I could on with stories all day about how they would get cut off and harass the staff calling them "whores" and screaming in a full bar of people.

It was like clockwork. And the drinking and driving? Yup.

Guys from each department would get hammered out of their minds and drive all over the county, the city, etc...

Before I go any further, I would like to proudly, and I mean it, proudly state I never a one time drove under the influence of alcohol or treated ANY civilian poorly on or off duty while I held a badge. I took it extremely serious and at times felt like I was the only one.

More than ever when I wore a badge did I exercise. I always wanted to take good care of myself regardless of my job. This really bothered some of my coworkers because I was the only person in a somewhat larger department to NOT be overweight. This also meant I would not drink with them, and not just because I was honestly embarrassed to go with them to bars.

Other than the majority of the guys making total asses out of themselves and every other guy that tried to maintain a good image, they also had major character flaws.

There was also a married woman that was "close" to the law enforcement family and seemingly every guy with a wife or even g/f was hittin' it. Sober, drunk, on duty, off duty, didn't matter. And she loved every bit of it. Granted she was not a very good looking woman, she was better than what most guys were married too.

And moving on from there - Both them and even I myself did things that every single member of the general public would have gotten ticketed so fast for that it would make their head spin.

Speeding, driving stupid (on duty) and disobeying every single traffic law for no reason was just a perk of the job. Now, if a civilian did that, it's serious ticket time. Because you know, cops and ****.

One day I was running radar on a highway and my eyes turned the size of ping pong balls! I clocked a vehicle doing 96mph in a 55mph zone.

I lit em' up, turned around on them, walked up to the vehicle and... It was a group of coworkers coming home from their training session. They were laughing and I just shook my head and walked away. Think a cop would do that if one of us got caught speeding even 10 over?

There is just way too much to fit into one post and way too many stories. Some of them are a lot darker than what I've already even said.

One thing I did notice though is the blatant character of so, so many guys I worked with. Half were either bullied all throughout life and wanted that power and the other half did the bullying and wanted to be able to keep doing it. And believe me, I don't want to come off as superior to anyone, but some guys with a badge were people I never, ever would have talked to or hung out with had we not been coworkers - For either reason I mentioned.

I do feel bitter since leaving though. I feel it because this "blue wall" everyone thinks exists is such garbage. Sure we all got along and had each others backs, but not like people think. These people I got to know inside and out are really no better than any one common citizen not committing murder or selling smack. Hell, I'd strongly bet the police commit more crimes than the average citizen. And I don't just mean traffic crimes.

So again, this is just my experience with the groups I worked with, but after talking to officers from other states and way larger departments it sounds like my story is just a joke. I've heard of officers in bigger areas doing things that make my little stories sound like a Disney tale.

And that's what gets me. I see the police as bullies, because I know that very few of us have actually helped people or "bettered" our communities.

Ask a cop, any cop, if he would rather sit down and help someone with directions or arrest someone. Naturally that adrenaline kicks in and that thought of possible "action" comes to mind and they will say "arrest someone!"

And that's my point. Everyone loved to put people in jail, but sometimes they would try way too hard, dig way too deep, and overstep their bounds to see someone go to jail (or try to get him there) or get a ticket than rather just let him go home free if he was doing nothing wrong. There are times to press a person and use your instincts if you think they are hiding something or acting shady, but other times there just isn't anything there to act on and you gotta let the person be... Not every cop is/was like this, but many on that power trip are and it sickens me to watch them even attempt to get away with it.

And my last mini-rant in this story stems from a few weeks back.

I was driving down the highway going 76mph in a 65mph zone. I was speeding and I got pulled over.

I recognized the officer from the local paper. A rookie hired fresh out of the academy and he was definitely one of those guys.

I watch him approach my truck - About 5'6, maybe 5'7 and all of 250lbs. He was busting out of his uniform like 10lbs of **** stuffed into a 5lb bag and if the chip on his shoulder was any more obvious he would have reached over and ate it. So in other words, our typical local law enforcement officer.

So he comes to my window and asks me if I knew why he pulled me over.

I was very polite and said "Yes. I was exceeding the speed limit."

I cooperated and gave him my information.

Of course I got a speeding ticket and it was for 76 in a 65. Now, in my state 75 in a 65 is no points and a fine. The 76mph ticket I got is kind of a slap in the face because even the guys I worked with and even the stricter troopers would give people a little break from time to time to save a point.

Not this guy.

I politely said "76 huh? Not even a break with a clean driving record?"

And his inflated sense of worth was quick to point out my "poor driving"

I was still cool, but then he sarcastically said "Have a nice day."

Now I was upset. I unpolitely told him to have sexual intercourse with himself.

Fast forward to last weekend.

My father and I are driving back from looking at some property down a residential street in town.

About a block ahead of us is a police vehicle going our same direction.

A white pickup is coming down the road facing him and us and violently swerves into the other lane causing the officer to jerk his vehicle to the right.

Right away I thought "My god someone here is really, really dumb" until the truck passed us and I noticed it was another off duty officer.

Now, the other part of the story involves the street we were on. We were still following the guy that was swerved at and he was going down a "T" street. At the end of the street is a busy highway and a stop sign. You either go left or right and merge onto the highway.

This guy (no lights on) blow right through the stop sign onto the highway and whips a u-turn (also illegal) all to.... all to... wait for it....

Go back and talk to his buddy.

So we have one cop doing reckless driving in a residential area, possibly causing two property accidents, and the other not using code and running a stop sign to make an illegal U-turn on a busy highway.

And this is when I just lost it.

Because every single one of you, supporter of this post or not, knows damn well if any of us had done that to a buddy we would be so screwed. The stop sign, the turn, the reckless driving, etc... would all be given to us.

But see, why not them? Is it "safer" to drive like a clown because they are cops? Are only cops able to choose when to screw around near busy highways and residential streets because civilians are too stupid to have the same right?

Someone tell me why it's okay for them.

And what really, really gets me: The guy guy on duty was the guy who gave me a ticket.

He told me I drive "unsafe" because I was going 76mph on a highway (our interstate limit is 75) but he's perfectly cool because he can run stop signs on busy roads and make illegal turns. See how stupid that sounds?

And it happens every day. Cops have a different set of rules than us and it pisses me off because more of them take advantage of it than don't.

I also feel at peace with myself saying this because I treated every single person I came into contact with in my 3 years with respect. I gave people breaks when it was an appropriate time to do so, I helped them if and when I could, and I never used my badge to give me power over anyone that didn't need it to be that way.

So I sit here right now and just laugh at all the boys out there with their complexes, fat wives, false sense of entitlement and "better than thou" mentality while I enjoy my life.

I do wish them all the safety in the world and hope they continue their careers unharmed, but every time I burn the tires off my Camaro or find myself in a situation they would frown upon, I just want them to know that I'm going to do what I'm going to do, and their hypocrisy laden mentality isn't going to do a damn thing to slow me down.



FIGHT THE POWER

Spoiler

I agree with this completely and I am friends with like 4 guys on our city police here. All of them drink hard and get ****ed up beyond belief, drive stupid, and have a general attitude of "HAHA I got you *******".

They talk mad crap about the stunts they pull on people they pull over or have to make a call to. They act as if "above" the law pretty much all the time, but honestly they are.

Now it has come in my favor several time. Leave the bar with them all tore up and know you not doing to get popped for a DUI because if they run into one of their "buddies" we are good to go. Also have had big blow out parties at my house until 2 to 3 in the morning with music just blowing up the neighborhood, several of my cop buddies were at the party and they got the call that someone called the cops on the loud music. Well guess what they just told them "they would take care of it", and they told me not to worry lets keep on partying it up. Not to mention several of them smoke the green.

I have no ill-will towards cops, but I been around the inner circle of them long enough to know "most" are far from angels or role models. I will say the one thing I hate the most is the fact how much they can get away just because they are cops, literally above the law on the smaller stuff.

I also have ran into several I've had to tell to have intercourse with themselves also Baumy. Its normally the arrogant, "I get pleasure" from screwing you type.

[bigbob]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

Whenever I create myself in video games (Road to Glory, Superstar Mode etc), I make myself black because I think it will make my guy athletically better.

[LoSoisNiCEx414]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

I find that racist (in a way) , there must be some hidden rating in sports games that makes u run & jump faster in the game if you are black.

[LoSoisNiCEx414]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

& if that was true, how would every non black gamer feel about this? I try to make myself in games (im both black & white) but if you are a white guy in a game, I think many people would be upset that they wouldnt be as athletic as the black created players.. but I find it funny that u do that. (not calling u racist or anything like that, just the 1st time I heard it),

[BlueNGold]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

Sooo, show of hands, who wants to keep this thread open?

[baumy300]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

Spoiler

I agree with this completely and I am friends with like 4 guys on our city police here. All of them drink hard and get ****ed up beyond belief, drive stupid, and have a general attitude of "HAHA I got you *******".

They talk mad crap about the stunts they pull on people they pull over or have to make a call to. They act as if "above" the law pretty much all the time, but honestly they are.

Now it has come in my favor several time. Leave the bar with them all tore up and know you not doing to get popped for a DUI because if they run into one of their "buddies" we are good to go. Also have had big blow out parties at my house until 2 to 3 in the morning with music just blowing up the neighborhood, several of my cop buddies were at the party and they got the call that someone called the cops on the loud music. Well guess what they just told them "they would take care of it", and they told me not to worry lets keep on partying it up. Not to mention several of them smoke the green.

I have no ill-will towards cops, but I been around the inner circle of them long enough to know "most" are far from angels or role models. I will say the one thing I hate the most is the fact how much they can get away just because they are cops, literally above the law on the smaller stuff.

I also have ran into several I've had to tell to have intercourse with themselves also Baumy. Its normally the arrogant, "I get pleasure" from screwing you type.

Exactly. You are spot on.

Nothing would infuriate me more than listening to the guys brag at work about how wasted they got and how they "somehow" managed to get home. Everyone would laugh and high five like it was the in thing to do, and then ironically you would find yourself backing these guys up from time to time on a DUI stop where the accused is crying or pleading not to get a DUI and the guy that drives drunk more than him is suddenly all stoic while saying **** like "Well you shouldn't be drinking and driving. It's not only illegal but dangerous." or "That's the choice you made. Deal with it."

It's funny because so many of these wannabe tough guys would be the first to break down crying if a trooper or other officer with a pair ticketed them for DUI. Then the act would wear off fast.

It all goes back to them believing they are better than the people who pay their wages because they get to wear a shiny little badge.

I know it from personal experience, you know it from personal experience, PVarck knows it from personal experience, and so do many others on here.

Just hearing stories from other people, both active, retired, or friends of officers like you, it definitely sounds like the "good ones" are far and few between.

If anyone thinks my figures are off or I'm exaggerating go work for a department for a year.

Come back and tell me if at least 30% or more of the people there shouldn't be in jail, let alone wearing a badge.

[TheMatrix31]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

Yeah, no. This will not happen here.

[wwharton]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

I think it's obvious what Matrix is talking about. I also want to say that I feel you on the cop stories but lets not turn this into a cop thread. People saying their piece, comment or two, on to the next one.

[Phobia]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

Exactly. You are spot on.

Nothing would infuriate me more than listening to the guys brag at work about how wasted they got and how they "somehow" managed to get home. Everyone would laugh and high five like it was the in thing to do, and then ironically you would find yourself backing these guys up from time to time on a DUI stop where the accused is crying or pleading not to get a DUI and the guy that drives drunk more than him is suddenly all stoic while saying **** like "Well you shouldn't be drinking and driving. It's not only illegal but dangerous." or "That's the choice you made. Deal with it."

It's funny because so many of these wannabe tough guys would be the first to break down crying if a trooper or other officer with a pair ticketed them for DUI. Then the act would wear off fast.

It all goes back to them believing they are better than the people who pay their wages because they get to wear a shiny little badge.

I know it from personal experience, you know it from personal experience, PVarck knows it from personal experience, and so do many others on here.

Just hearing stories from other people, both active, retired, or friends of officers like you, it definitely sounds like the "good ones" are far and few between.

If anyone thinks my figures are off or I'm exaggerating go work for a department for a year.

Come back and tell me if at least 30% or more of the people there shouldn't be in jail, let alone wearing a badge.

I think it's obvious what Matrix is talking about. I also want to say that I feel you on the cop stories but lets not turn this into a cop thread. People saying their piece, comment or two, on to the next one.

Yea, I'm going to end it like wharton said, but I wanted to point out. I'm not "hating" on cops, honestly they are under paid in my book. It is the way many of them act that drives me up the wall.

Spoiler

I'll end with my last "cop" story. One day I had to drive to a co-workers house to pick him up for work. On the way, I had to pass a school. Well the students had a holiday this particular day. The speed limit is 35 on the road in non-school hours, during school it is 25. Well I knew the students were out of school so I was doing the speed limit of 35. Out of no where this guy walks out in the middle of the road and is gesturing for me to pull into a drive way TO A HOUSE. So at this point I see it is a cop and his cop car is in the drive way of this house.

He comes over and starts telling me I'm speeding in a school zone so I inform him "no, school is out". He then tells me "I am not aware of this" and I can explain that to someone who cares basically. So at this point I'm boiling over and doing everything to keep my cool. Then he says he will be right back he was going run my license.

So he comes back and starts filling out a ticket. So I ask if he is seriously giving me a ticket for NOT speeding??? He states I was speeding, I then lost it and started throwing every curse word that I could find at him. At this point he "tries" to go all tough guy and tell me I can't swear. So I quickly told him in the words of baumy to have sexual intercourse with himself.

He then hands me the ticket smiling his *** off and tells me to "have a nice day sir". I have never wanted to knock the living crap out of someone I could not touch so bad.

I could of went to court and fought it, but I don't have time for all that so I just called my buddy and had it "taken care of" but it was the fact I got a ticket for doing nothing wrong and I could do NOTHING in that moment to fight it. He could literally act how he wanted and do what he wanted.

That is my most infuriating cop story

Sorry wwharton, I promise no more.

[TheMatrix31]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

I think it's obvious what Matrix is talking about. I also want to say that I feel you on the cop stories but lets not turn this into a cop thread. People saying their piece, comment or two, on to the next one.

I was actually talking about the hidden video game trait thing, LOL.