Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

[Phobia]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

It's not a 2 way street Phobia, it's a double standard.

Not in my house lol

I love my soon to be wife to death, that **** happens and she knows the way out. Granted we have dated going on 8 years, we have had this talk long ago.

[12]

Sorry, did not mean to get under your skin, but the whole "you don't know someone till you Marry them" is kinda ridiculous. Once you move in and live with them for awhile, you should know them. Of course, if your wife was putting on a front the whole time till she locked you up, well.....Then you have another problem.

You're assuming every couple lives together before marriage, which is not reality.

[dickey1331]

Not in my house lol

I love my soon to be wife to death, that **** happens and she knows the way out. Granted we have dated going on 8 years, we have had this talk long ago.

Same here. I went through that **** with my ex wife and she ended up getting arrested for assault. My current wife doesn't do that ****. She knows I won't put up with it anymore.

[longshadow11]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

See I don't agree with the bold at all. What if you treated her like ****, would she just take it and "weather the storm"? It is a two way street and emotional abuse is not warranted on either end, PMS or not.

Exactly, and this is where we end up getting in huge fights. I have told her that if I treated her the way she treats me, she would have left me a long time ago. She agrees and says wives treat husbands like that so get used to it.

[12]

Oh Damn I remember the other thread now. Feel good story of the year....

If this turns into anything like that last thread....Well, Im getting out the Popcorn.

I'm sure longshadow11 appreciates that his personal life can provide you entertainment, doc.

[longshadow11]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

I'm sure Longfellow appreciates that his personal life can provide you entertainment, doc.

Longfellow, that's funny. My fault if someone finds enjoyment; I put it out there. This wasn't supposed to be so much about my personal life, just trying to get some perspective on pms and what's acceptable.

[DocHolliday]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

I'm sure Longfellow appreciates that his personal life can provide you entertainment, doc.

Kinda the point of forums, no?

I get he is also looking for advice, but cmon.

[12]

Longfellow, that's funny. My fault if someone finds enjoyment; I put it out there. This wasn't supposed to be so much about my personal life, just trying to get some perspective on pms and what's acceptable.

LOL sorry, damn iPhone autocorrect.

[12]

Kinda the point of forums, no?

I get he is also looking for advice, but cmon.

For the most part, sure... But when someone comes here looking for advice, I think it's different.

Just busting balls more than anything, man.

[12]

I don't think it's acceptable in the least. How does she treat you when there is no PMS? I think that would be great information to know. I am all for being patient and loving with our spouses's faults, but at the same time you can't allow yourself to be treated like ****, either.

Counseling might be an option if she truly doesn't acknowledge that the way she treats you is wrong, because that's BS.

[Phobia]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

Exactly, and this is where we end up getting in huge fights. I have told her that if I treated her the way she treats me, she would have left me a long time ago. She agrees and says wives treat husbands like that so get used to it.

If she agrees with it, then quite honestly you should lay the law down now and nip this in the bud literally AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. For your marriage sake and for your personal happiness sake. Wives DO NOT treat their husbands this way. Men who allow their wives are the ones that do.

Now is the time to be the man. If you are a good husband and do the right things then she has no legs to stand on for being a bitch to someone who does not deserve it. Put your foot down and dictate what will and will not be acceptable. Period.....end of story, no discussing.

That is how I would handle it at least.

[23]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

Wives don't treat husbands like that and its not the right way which she probably hasn't learned before. Like I said we both have different needs...women's are more emotional, love protection, etc.. Ours is respect.

She needs to know that and work on it...so as I said and Phobia mentioned.. you guys def. need to have those talks because its never cool for just say alot of things, whether you mean it or not... Remember though, even Wilma made Fred feel like he was 2 inches big sometimes LOL!!!

[C the Lyte]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

Not in my house lol

I love my soon to be wife to death, that **** happens and she knows the way out. Granted we have dated going on 8 years, we have had this talk long ago.

LOL.jpg

However, 8 years is a long time. You know pretty much all there is to know about that person in 8 years. People change though. You and your soon to be wife may not, but the possiblity is there.

I wish you both nothing but the best!

[bigeastbumrush]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

My dad gave me the best advice. He said "You know she's gonna get stupid on you. Expect it and don't react. Don't be amazed with her temporary insanity." If I can do this, just walk away without saying a word, I will have mastered my self control, and I expect she will respect me for being calm, and that may curb her fits of rage. I know her ex used to hit her when she would get like this. He was young and couldn't handle it. I try to reason with her, but there's no reasoning with a crazy person.

I knew from experience I could come here and get some great advice.

Learning how to handle her and controlling my reactions are spot on the way to handle this. I am too blunt, too abrupt, and not great at dealing with bs. If something doesn't make sense to me then I have no patience for it. Women often don't make sense and I have to learn to play her game and go along. I'm stuck in the middle of a mean ex-wife, my oldest daughter who is very hard to handle, and my new wife who has a ton of issues from her father leaving, her ex, etc. Sometimes I just have to duck my head and weather the storm. The one bright spot in my life is my little girl. She is the sweetest, most loving person I have ever been around. She loves me and can tell when the trio of other females in my life are giving me hell. She will hug me and tell me I'm a good dad. And my 6 year old stepson likes me a lot, and that's great!

Classic case of a woman with daddy issues.

It's not the PMS man. The PMS is just like the gas that fuels the car so to speak. It allows her to let loose on her emotions.

You're going to have to be patient if you want it to work.

Fight the good fight. Don't get sucked into what she's dishing out to you.

Someone like that who has a lifetime of issues that she's dealing with isn't going to change overnight.

But you Must let her know that the disrespect will not fly.

Everyone needs to set boundaries in a relationship. Disrespect and cursing should be a good place to start.

[deaduck]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

I always thought that the worst part about dysfunctional relationships is that they show the children trapped in them a unhealthy example of how to handle conflict and/or how relationships work.

I got lucky in that my wife's first marriage was dismal. It was two young people married for the wrong reasons that were unable to communicate with each other. So the bar was set pretty low for me. Even at that, it took time to establish that those patterns she had from her parents and first marriage were not acceptable in our relationship.

For example, one her go to moves was the public scene...trusting that social embarrassment was a viable tool. I have no shame so I proved immune to it and she soon abandoned it. We grew to find humor as a better medium for settings our boundaries and needs.

So when in later years when hormonal changes were at their worst for her...I was less an enemy and more of her allies . And the same has proven true as my health and mood has changed.

I guess what I am saying (besides bragging about my marriage) is you need to establish a pattern of behavior that is healthy mentally for everyone involved. Her behavior sounds like it is in a cycle of rewarding itself...clearly she doesn't treat everyone the same while suffering from PMS so she shouldn't be allowed to expect you to be treated this way. PMS is real but too often it's a crutch...if she is able to work/socialize/ and maintain other family relations then she should be able to do so with you.