Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

[slickdtc]

Damn longshadow, you do not seem to have the best of luck with women.

My girl gets it bad and she can be a bitch, but it's not extreme. I'm pretty good at not getting sucked into fights and especially when I know she's only so frustrated so easily because the pain she's in. It's usually just 2-3 days, with one being extreme and the others less so. She's definitely gotten better with just isolating herself because she knows she can't deal with any BS. Any fights we may have are resolved shortly thereafter on the whole, and I can't even recall any that were because of her PMS.

Good luck to you. There's only so much you can take. Address it, make sure it gets better over the long term and not just the short term. Otherwise, you have to look out for you. You'll go crazy if you feel you aren't getting the respect you deserve and continually take a beating from someone who is supposed to love you.

[longshadow11]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

Sorry, did not mean to get under your skin, but the whole "you don't know someone till you Marry them" is kinda ridiculous. Once you move in and live with them for awhile, you should know them. Of course, if your wife was putting on a front the whole time till she locked you up, well.....Then you have another problem.

I didn't move in and live with her before we got married. I wouldn't be a poor example for my little girl. Her mom ran off and moved in with another man, the last thing my daughter needed was for me to have a live in girlfriend. And when you're 42 and single and a hot woman comes along who seems to be very sweet, the few bitchy moments are seen as her just being a woman. I didn't know it would become much worse with marriage.

[23]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

You haven't been married long man. Security is one thing a woman looks for and if they dont feel their emotional needs are being met sometimes they do funny things like what you're describing. Believe it or not you can calm her down with a different approach. Its just a matter of what you do/say to handle her because make no mistake you CAN.

You basically have to learn eachother and settle into the relationship to make it into what you want it to be and its going to take time. Of course you say things you dont mean, you learn to work through it. Its easier to talk when things are more calm and relaxed and you have those moments where the both of you listen to eachother.

First thing though is to keep other people out of your business because 3rd parties can ruin your stuff faster than you can, believe me.

Other thing is, no PMS is not an excuse but some of them defintely are affected by the hormone changes especially when they start getting older. Its just best to let them to themselves as much as you can. Its not always the same every time. She can work on it though and thats when you guys have those talks... A man's need is to be respected first and foremost so she needs to learn that and apply it as well as youre learning how to best love her and make her feel secure.

[AUChase]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

It shouldn't even have to be about who is watching who's kids. Take it from someone who's parents divorced and re married.

My Step Dad was willing to treat me like his own and it was never a question or inconvenience or the slightest of problems. We get along great .

My Step Mom, on the other hand, was a bitch treated my sister and I as if we were not as important as her daughter. There was a huge riff about it and my dad actually almost got divorced again. Years later it all worked out, but you can't marry someone with children from a previous relationship and treat them as anything, but your own.

Kids, albeit sometimes naive, always pick up on that sort of stuff. That's something you guys should probably talk about. No one should be considering it an inconvenience to watch the others kids.

Good luck. I read your story from a long time ago. You seem like a great person and don't deserve to put up with any sort of bs again.

[longshadow11]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

My dad gave me the best advice. He said "You know she's gonna get stupid on you. Expect it and don't react. Don't be amazed with her temporary insanity." If I can do this, just walk away without saying a word, I will have mastered my self control, and I expect she will respect me for being calm, and that may curb her fits of rage. I know her ex used to hit her when she would get like this. He was young and couldn't handle it. I try to reason with her, but there's no reasoning with a crazy person.

[C the Lyte]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

It's like this shadow...

The ones we are closest to are the ones we berate the most. My wife wasn't what she is today. She was always sweet, loving, and adoring. As time went on in our marriage, I've seen the other side of her, so to speak.

Don't get me wrong, I'd do it all over again at the drop of a hat. But she has had her moments, especially when her aunt flow comes into town. I've had my moments also.

As little as I know about your situation, my advice would be don't take yourself or her too seriously for now. Later, if you resent every waking moment with her, pack up.

I have a high tolerance for verbal abuse, so it doesn't bother me. But if things get physical, pack up and go. All women are crazy. It's to what degree of crazy that seperate the good from the bad.

Or, you could just ignore me and wait for TarHeel Man.

[dickey1331]

I don't know who some of y'all married but this doesn't sound like an average women.

I honestly would have a talk with her and tell her this needs to change. That you're tired of being put down and belittled. Tell her the truth and if she'd not willing to change then I would consider divorce. Before it gets too bad.

[buickbeast]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

This thread makes me very happy that I'm single =)

[AUChase]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

Maybe THM could give her a call and straighten it out ? The guy should be on national TV instead of Dr Phil.

[Phobia]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

Reason I ask LS, if I remember correctly didn't ya'll get married really fast?

[longshadow11]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

I knew from experience I could come here and get some great advice.

Learning how to handle her and controlling my reactions are spot on the way to handle this. I am too blunt, too abrupt, and not great at dealing with bs. If something doesn't make sense to me then I have no patience for it. Women often don't make sense and I have to learn to play her game and go along. I'm stuck in the middle of a mean ex-wife, my oldest daughter who is very hard to handle, and my new wife who has a ton of issues from her father leaving, her ex, etc. Sometimes I just have to duck my head and weather the storm. The one bright spot in my life is my little girl. She is the sweetest, most loving person I have ever been around. She loves me and can tell when the trio of other females in my life are giving me hell. She will hug me and tell me I'm a good dad. And my 6 year old stepson likes me a lot, and that's great!

[DocHolliday]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

Oh Damn I remember the other thread now. Feel good story of the year....

If this turns into anything like that last thread....Well, Im getting out the Popcorn.

[Phobia]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

I knew from experience I could come here and get some great advice.

Learning how to handle her and controlling my reactions are spot on the way to handle this. I am too blunt, too abrupt, and not great at dealing with bs. If something doesn't make sense to me then I have no patience for it. Women often don't make sense and I have to learn to play her game and go along. I'm stuck in the middle of a mean ex-wife, my oldest daughter who is very hard to handle, and my new wife who has a ton of issues from her father leaving, her ex, etc. Sometimes I just have to duck my head and weather the storm. The one bright spot in my life is my little girl. She is the sweetest, most loving person I have ever been around. She loves me and can tell when the trio of other females in my life are giving me hell. She will hug me and tell me I'm a good dad. And my 6 year old stepson likes me a lot, and that's great!

See I don't agree with the bold at all. What if you treated her like ****, would she just take it and "weather the storm"? It is a two way street and emotional abuse is not warranted on either end, PMS or not.

[longshadow11]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

We dated for a year and a half.

[C the Lyte]

Re: Anyone else have a wife/gf with horrible PMS?

It's not a 2 way street Phobia, it's a double standard.