Re: In Need Of Some Serious Advice (Yes. Relationship Issues)
Not sure if you've made up your mind yet, but I'll give you my two cents. Also, you can take into consideration the fact that my girlfriend and I are only 22 years old, so I'm not as experience as some others around here. Anyways, here goes:
It sounds like you and the current girl are somewhat similar to me and my girlfriend. I'd say we have more differences than things in common. She's visited pretty much every country in the world. The furthest west I've traveled is Chicago, and the only time I've left the country was to drive an hour north to Canada. She likes to eat every type of cuisine ever made except for seafood. I'm extremely picky, but the one kind of cuisine that I really love is seafood. The only sports she follows are hockey and Australian Rules Football (she's from Melbourne). I like pretty much every sport except for those two (though I've also never seen an ARF match lol).
Anyways, the reason I say this is because of the fact that you said "My point in bringing all that up is that I think initially our differences brought us together. But I'm not sure if a future together would make us both happy. And after about month 6 or 7 of being together, I have not felt like I am getting any closer to her."
I think this is sort of key, and it reminds me of something I went through this past summer. I was working in Boston for the summer, and my girlfriend and I were going through a rough patch, and at the same time, I met a girl that shared a ton of the same interests I had, and also shared a lot of the lifestyle choices I prefer (wants to settle down and have a family in the Boston area). Anyways, my girlfriend and I ended up taking a break from talking for a few weeks so that we could figure out what we really wanted. She never really wanted to have a family at any point and wanted to always be traveling, whereas I wanted to eventually settle down and have a family.
We ended up deciding that we could compromise, and that we'd both like to travel for a bit, but eventually settle down, and likely have a family somewhere.
The thing that made that whole process worth it is the fact that even though we're very different people, it keeps things exciting, and at the same time, we have enough things in common that we feel compatible. She gets me to try new foods. I get her to try new sports. We get each other to see different areas in the country. But we both enjoy Breaking Bad, Criminal Minds, movies, and the Food Network together. We enjoy cooking together. And our personalities (sense of humor, maturity level, etc.) are very in tune with each other. I believe that having a lot of differences is important, but more important is that you have personalities that mesh and that you're willing to compromise to make things work.
To me, it sounds like you have those exciting differences with your current girl, but that you may not have enough similarities to make things work, but that's really something that you have to figure out on your own.
For me, my girlfriend is now moving to Malaysia for 9 months after we graduate, but we're determined to make things work, and I'm looking into moving somewhere new so that I can do a little bit of traveling of my own while she's gone, and then we'll hopefully settle down somewhere when she comes home.
Good luck dude. I'm sure that you'll figure things out sooner or later. You'll make the right decision.
Not sure if you've made up your mind yet, but I'll give you my two cents. Also, you can take into consideration the fact that my girlfriend and I are only 22 years old, so I'm not as experience as some others around here. Anyways, here goes:
It sounds like you and the current girl are somewhat similar to me and my girlfriend. I'd say we have more differences than things in common. She's visited pretty much every country in the world. The furthest west I've traveled is Chicago, and the only time I've left the country was to drive an hour north to Canada. She likes to eat every type of cuisine ever made except for seafood. I'm extremely picky, but the one kind of cuisine that I really love is seafood. The only sports she follows are hockey and Australian Rules Football (she's from Melbourne). I like pretty much every sport except for those two (though I've also never seen an ARF match lol).
Anyways, the reason I say this is because of the fact that you said "My point in bringing all that up is that I think initially our differences brought us together. But I'm not sure if a future together would make us both happy. And after about month 6 or 7 of being together, I have not felt like I am getting any closer to her."
I think this is sort of key, and it reminds me of something I went through this past summer. I was working in Boston for the summer, and my girlfriend and I were going through a rough patch, and at the same time, I met a girl that shared a ton of the same interests I had, and also shared a lot of the lifestyle choices I prefer (wants to settle down and have a family in the Boston area). Anyways, my girlfriend and I ended up taking a break from talking for a few weeks so that we could figure out what we really wanted. She never really wanted to have a family at any point and wanted to always be traveling, whereas I wanted to eventually settle down and have a family.
We ended up deciding that we could compromise, and that we'd both like to travel for a bit, but eventually settle down, and likely have a family somewhere.
The thing that made that whole process worth it is the fact that even though we're very different people, it keeps things exciting, and at the same time, we have enough things in common that we feel compatible. She gets me to try new foods. I get her to try new sports. We get each other to see different areas in the country. But we both enjoy Breaking Bad, Criminal Minds, movies, and the Food Network together. We enjoy cooking together. And our personalities (sense of humor, maturity level, etc.) are very in tune with each other. I believe that having a lot of differences is important, but more important is that you have personalities that mesh and that you're willing to compromise to make things work.
To me, it sounds like you have those exciting differences with your current girl, but that you may not have enough similarities to make things work, but that's really something that you have to figure out on your own.
For me, my girlfriend is now moving to Malaysia for 9 months after we graduate, but we're determined to make things work, and I'm looking into moving somewhere new so that I can do a little bit of traveling of my own while she's gone, and then we'll hopefully settle down somewhere when she comes home.
Good luck dude. I'm sure that you'll figure things out sooner or later. You'll make the right decision.
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