Hockey Returns to Winnipeg

[goosedennis]

Quote: Originally Posted by HeroWorship

Yes. Yes I am.

That was installed with your Windows 7 laptop you got for Christmas?

[HeroWorship]

Quote: Originally Posted by goosedennis

That was installed with your Windows 7 laptop you got for Christmas?

My buddy gave me a key for it in April of 2010. I can't wait for Microsoft to read this and come and beat me up.

[goosedennis]

I'll have an update up soon (yes, I have no life).

In the meantime,

[goosedennis]

November/December Update


Much like in this episode of South Park, GooseDennis has no life and spends nearly all his time in front of a computer screen.

Transactions:
-Winnipeg trades LW Wojtek Wolski, a 2012 1st round pick, and a 2013 1st round pick to Nashville for D Ryan Suter
-Winnipeg trades LW Lauri Korpikoski to Montreal for D Hal Gill

Winnipeg Jets Stats - 2010-11
Skaters	GP	G	A	PTS	+/-	GW	PIM	SOG	SPCT
Ilya Kovalchuk	37	32	23	55			28
Evgeni Malkin	40	25	25	50			63
Dustin Penner	37	19	16	35			81
Keith Yandle	37	3	22	25			17
Lee Stempniak	37	8	15	23			35
Derek Morris	37	0	20	20			45
Martin Hanzal	37	6	12	18			26
Ryan Suter	37	4	10	14			58
Willie Mitchell	27	0	14	14			31
Andreas Lilja	37	1	13	14			27
Aaron Ward	37	3	11	14			34
Hal Gill	39	2	9	11			73
Radim Vrbata	37	3	7	10			17
Bill Guerin	21	4	4	8			28
Vernon Fiddler	29	5	2	7			41
BizNasty	27	7	0	7			58
Daniel Paille	37	3	4	7			59
Garnet Exelby	37	0	5	5			99
Brett MacLean	7	3	2	5			0
Kyle Turris	15	1	3	4			12
Goalies	GP	W	L	T	GAA	TOI	SV	SV%	SHO
Ray Emery	12	4	8	n/a	3.87	511	220	.870	253
Erik Ersberg	4	2	2	n/a	1.88	191	89	.937	95
Semyon Varlamov	31	17	14	n/a	3.29	1771	831	.895	928

Winnipeg Jets Stats - 2010-11
Skaters	GP	G	A	PTS	+/-	GW	PIM	SOG	SPCT
Cal Clutterbuck	35	3	1	4			5
Bracken Kearns	7	1	3	4			22
Kurt Sauer	11	0	2	2			37
Andrew Ebbett	1	1	0	1			0

[goosedennis]

Jets Pull Trade out of Asses, Strengthen Top 6


Patrick Kane is most infamous for trying to fight his goalie

ANAHEIM -- In yet another blockbuster move, the Winnipeg Jets have traded prospect Kyle Turris and winger Lee Stempniak to the Chicago Blackhawks in exchange for winger Patrick Kane. This comes when Ilya Kovalchuk is trying to get 50 goals in 50 games, and will most likely get there with this new addition.

Kane, 22, is coming off of a season where he scored 30 goals and assisted on 58 others in 82 games. Currently he has 22 goals and 29 assists for 51 points through 47 games, and will certainly be on the Jets' top line.

However, he would not come cheap. Kyle Turris, the AHL's leading point scorer and Jets top prospect, was traded to Chicago along with sniper Lee Stempniak. Stempniak has shown flashes of brilliance throughout the season, but has also shown much inconsistency and, thanks to Chicago hiring a new scouting team in mid-December, was the topic of interest for the Blackhawks.

Neither Stempniak nor Kane played in their teams games today, and Derek Armstrong was called up to fill in on the penalty kill for Stempniak. He blocked a shot and fractured his shin in three different places, and will be out 6-12 weeks. Petr Sykora and Wayne Primeau have been signed for near league minimum contracts. Primeau will center the fourth line and will be on the top penalty kill unit, and Sykora will warm the bench, occasionally playing the point on the powerplay.

[goosedennis]

Jets Stand Put on Deadline Day


The trade deadline was so slow that Einstein got bored

WINNIPEG - It was a slow and uneventful day today, as there could only be one or two moves classified as "major." The Winnipeg Jets were recipients of many trade offers, however most were lopsided, such as Dustin Penner and Bill Guerin to Edmonton for their 2nd round draft pick.

The first move today was centre Tim Connoly, winger Teemu Selanne, and defenseman Chris Butler being deatl to Tampa Bay for defenseman Ty Wishart, centre Torrey Mitchell, and a player to be named later.

The only other trade was wigner Dustin Byfuglien going from Atlanta to Anaheim in exchange for defenseman Toni Lydman.

[goosedennis]

Just a slight note: I've already finished the season, and am creating the tables now mofos

[goosedennis]

Playoffs!


What the "****" word is #6 doing?

NHL Standings - Updated: Apr 3, 2011
EAST PLAYOFF RACE	W	L	OTL	PTS	HOME	ROAD	GF	GA
Pittsburgh Penguins	51	26	5	107
Bawstawn Brooooooons	47	23	12	106
Tampa Bay Lightning	47	27	8	102
New York Rangers	47	26	9	103
New York Islanders	45	32	5	95
Washinton Crapitals	45	32	5	95
Buffalo Sabres	43	32	7	93
Atlanta Thrashers	42	31	9	93
New Jersey Devils	42	32	8	92
Carolina Hurricanes	41	32	9	91
Philadelphia Flyers	40	33	9	89
Ottawa Senators	41	35	6	88
Florida Panthers	37	39	6	80
Toronto Maple Leafs	36	38	8	80
Montreal Canadiens	34	39	9	77
WEST PLAYOFF RACE	W	L	OTL	PTS	HOME	ROAD	GF	GA
Calgary Flames	51	28	3	105
San Jose Sharks	47	29	6	100
Detroit Red Wangs	45	29	8	98
Vancouver Canucks	47	26	9	103
Columbus Blue Jackets	45	30	7	97
Chicago Blackhawks	43	32	7	93
Winnipeg Jets	42	31	9	93
Dallas Stars	40	29	13	93
Los Angeles Kings	41	36	5	87
Anaheim Ducks	40	39	3	83
Minnesota Wild	34	35	13	81
St. Louis Blues	33	42	7	73
Nashville Predators	29	39	14	72
Colorado Avalanche	28	44	10	66
Edmonton Oilers	27	48	7	61

Winnipeg Jets Stats - 2010-11
Skaters	GP	G	A	PTS	+/-	GW	PIM	SOG	SPCT
Ilya Kovalchuk	82	51	61	112
Evgeni Malkin	81	45	56	101
Patrick Kane	84	39	45	84
Dustin Penner	82	42	39	81
Derek Morris	82	2	53	55
Martin Hanzal	82	9	36	45
Keith Yandle	82	6	38	44
Ryan Suter	82	9	27	36
Willie Mitchell	72	3	29	32
Radim Vrbata	82	12	17	29
Bill Guerin	66	15	12	27
Hal Gill	84	7	18	25
Vernon Fiddler	74	13	11	24
Daniel Paille	82	11	10	21
Andreas Lilja	37	1	13	14
Aaron Ward	37	3	11	14
Cal Clutterbuck	80	11	2	13
Garnet Exelby	82	1	11	12
BizNasty	70	7	3	10
Wayne Primeau	37	1	4	5
Goalies	GP	W	L	T	GAA	TOI	SV	SV%	SHO
Erik Ersberg	11	4	4	n/a	2.59	533	277	.923	300
Semyon Varlamov	70	35	30	n/a	3.21	4,074	1,819	.893	2,037

Winnipeg Jets Stats - 2010-11
Skaters	GP	G	A	PTS	+/-	GW	PIM	SOG	SPCT
Brett MacLean	7	3	2	5
Bracken Kearns	7	1	3	4
Kurt Sauer	11	0	2	2
Andrew Ebbett	3	1	0	1
Taylor Pyatt	6	1	0	1
Matt Walker	19	0	1	1
Petr Sykora	4	1	0	1
Derek Armstrong	2	0	0	0

NHL League Leaders - Updated: Apr 12, 2011
Points		PTS	Goals		G
	1. Sidney Crosby	113		1. Ilya Kovalchuk	51
	2. Ilya Kovalchuk (WIN)	112		2. Alexander Ovechkin (WSH)	46
	3. Evgeni Malkin (WIN)	101		3. Evgeni Malkin (WIN)	45
	4. Dany Heatley (SJS)	93		4. Marian Gaborik (NYR)	44
	5. Eric Staal (CAR)	87		5. Antoine Vermette (CBJ)	42
Assists		A	Plus/Minus		+/-
	1. Sidney Crosby	73		1. Sidney Crosby	54
	2. Ilya Kovalchuk (WIN)	61		2. Chris Kunitz (PIT)	51
	3. Nathan Horton (BOS)	59		3. Alexei Ponikarovski (PIT)	50
	4. Nikita Filatov (CBJ)	57		4. Antoine Vermette (CBJ)	46
	5. Marian Hossa (CHI)	57		5. Erik Cole (CAR)	42
Penalty Minutes		PIMs	Power Play Goals		PPG
	1. Colton Orr	309		1. Marian Gaborik	20
	2. Brandon Prust (NYR)	292		2. Alexander Ovechkin (WSH)	19
	3. Zack Stortini (EDM)	272		3. Evgeni Malkin (WIN)	18
	4. Jody Shelley (PHI)	261		4. Patrick Marleau (SJS)	18
	5. Steve MacIntyre (EDM)	257		5. Christopher Higgins (FLA)	18
Goals Against Average		GAA	Save Percentage		SV%
	1. Niklas Backstrom	2.53		1. Ryan Miller	.918
	2. Ryan Miller (BUF)	2.53		2. Alexander Auld (MTL)	.916
	3. Cam Ward (CAR)	2.55		3. Cam Ward (CAR)	.916
	4. Roberto LOLungo (VAN)	2.56		4. Niklas Backstrom (MIN)	.915
	5. Miikka Kiprusoff (CGY)	2.63		5. Roberto LOLungo (VAN)	.915

Playoff Matchups
(for you lazy ****s)

WESTERN CONFERENCE

#1 Calgary Flames v.
#8 Dallas Stars

#2 San Jose Sharks v.
#7 Winnipeg Jets

#3 Detroit Red Wings v.
#6 Chicago Blackhawks

#4 Vancouver Canucks v.
#5 Columbus Blue Jackets

EASTERN CONFERENCE

#1 Pittsburgh Penguins v.
#8 Atlanta Thrashers

#2 Boston Bruins v.
#7 Buffalo Sabres

#3 Tampa Bay Lightning v.
#6 Washington Capitals

#4 New York Rangers v.
#5 New York Islanders

Winnipeg Jets Playoffs 2011 Schedule
DATE	OPPONENT	RESULT
Apr 13	at San Jose Sharks
Apr 15	at San Jose Sharks
Apr 17	vs San Jose Sharks
Apr 19	vs San Jose Sharks
Apr 21	at San Jose Sharks (if needed)
Apr 23	vs San Jose Sharks (if needed)
Apr 25	at San Jose Sharks (if needed)