I'm probably older than all you guys, and I get much more pissed than that. I often pondered starting a thread (recently) like this one to express how bad i hate losing.
My wife is just as funny about it as your wife is. Then I finally tell myself, it's just a game, calm down.....but it does take a while.
Last year, I played in an online dynasty, the guy that was playing as Florda (really good guy) destroyed me 42-10. I was pissed, but i was a gracious loser, in that I congratulated him because he was just better than me. I went 9-4 that first year with a bowl win. I practiced my hiney off for the next season. I beat him 42-24. I really played a great game, I had all the angles, I got all the breaks. Towards the end of that game, he knew he was beat, then started rolling his QB back to my endzone......not taking the loss well at all. After it was over, I sent him a "Good Game" message. He never responded. In fact, he didnt respond til a week later which said "thanks."
I know how ya feel, we just gotta remind ourselves how fortunate we all are in life, in your case a healthy family, and hopefully not take it as hard.
I told myself I wouldnt do that for this year. I was wrong.