Help me help myself

[Marino]

Hey man, we've all been there, you just have to not care as much about what others think. Be yourself, go out with friends you are comfortable with, that'll help you a lot. Keep expectations reasonable, don't worry about being rejected, that **** happens to all of us.

Quote: Originally Posted by Husker_OS

Just go up and talk to them. I promise they won't bite your head off or get pissed you approached them. They may be disinterested, but who gives a damn? Move on to the next one. Get a friend you can go to the bars with. Use the "Have you met Ted?" line. I tell everyone who asks me for advice on this topic about this particular line. It NEVER fails. All you do is find 2 girls that you and your friend want to talk to. Whichever one your friend wants to talk to, you go up to her and say, "hey, have you met {insert friends name}?". 99% of the time, she'll say no and introduce herself to your friend. Then you introduce yourself to her friend. Meeting girls is simple. Finding one who isn't crazy is the hard part.

This guy right here is very helpful, he has helped me a good bit when I was going through something similarly. Don't be bashful, you can talk to a lot of guys on here who will help, lord knows how much help Jason (Dickdalewood), Bob (Bluengold) and Husker here have been to me.

It's just all about keeping things in perspective. Do the whole fake it until you make it.

[Marino]

Quote: Originally Posted by Beantown

The fact that ODogg is now the one giving dating/picking up women advice scares the **** out of me and makes me feel rather confident that I can get a damn good girl once I figure out my own **** and get back out there again. No offense meant, ODogg, either...just saying if you went from where you were when you started that thread to dishing out advice, anyone can do it with the right attitude.

Next May it begins, we will be bagging them left and right.

[ODogg]

Quote: Originally Posted by Beantown

The fact that ODogg is now the one giving dating/picking up women advice scares the **** out of me and makes me feel rather confident that I can get a damn good girl once I figure out my own **** and get back out there again. No offense meant, ODogg, either...just saying if you went from where you were when you started that thread to dishing out advice, anyone can do it with the right attitude.

Haha, that's why I hope this guy listens to me and my advice...because I have been single and dateless pretty much since high school but after listening to this David Wygant cat and some fellow OS'ers I'm like a different person with women. I realize about everything I was doing was wrong, acting too desperate, acting like the woman had all the power, thinking I wasn't capable of landing anything but the most homely, pudgy women, etc. Once I changed my attitude the entire scene changed.

No offense to anyone out there but I heard so many lines that did not help at all. Stuff like "it'll happen, just give it time" - well that turned out to be nonsense, it can happen but you can't be completely waiting and not doing anything. Or how about "just be yourself"? That's the kick in the head to someone like myself, if you've been being yourself for years and it hasn't worked, how do you be "more of yourself"??

That "be yourself" thing is the one thing that people would say that I used to really get annoyed by the longer I had no luck. Once I listened to Davids workshop I realized that yes you do be yourself but he tells you how to do it. And also, if by being yourself means doing the wrong thing, you need to be aware of it.

One of the things I mean is that I'm shy but once I get to talking a little I tend to talk and talk and talk. I really think that was a big part of hurting my chances with women. I'd move in and establish a good rapport but then I'd talk too much about myself and just dominate the conversation. One of David's biggest tips about that was to quit thinking of what you're going to say next and instead just go with the flow of the conversation. Don't talk constantly about yourself either, ask a lot of questions of her and let her tell you about herself while throwing in some of your own info.

Example of doing it "wrong":

me: What's your favorite band?
her: Well I like Nirvana and Stone Temple Pilots
me: ahh cool, well mines Pink Floyd...blahblahblah

Example of doing it "correctly":

me: What's your favorite band?
her: Well I like Nirvana and Stone Temple Pilots
me: ahhh...fan of the 90's grunge scene eh?
her: yes!! omg...blahblahblah

And by all means when she turns around and ASKS you for your favorite band, at that point tell her. If she never asks, you move on. Keep a bit of mystery about yourself and let her know that you're more interested in knowing about her and less about telling her about you. The bottom line is really listen because most men when they talk to women really don't, they just don't listen and if a woman thinks "wow this guy really cares what I think, he's really listening to what I say" well then you're moving up in a major way in her book...

[ANDROMADA 1]

I would just add, say something funny. Keep em laughing.

[Jano]

Quote: Originally Posted by ODogg

Here is his website, ironically his blog today is about shy men: http://www.davidwygant.com/

I still got them files Odogg I will be bringing him the "good news" too as soon as I get them uploaded lol. And glad to see its helped you out man, I'm gonna break them out and start listening again too! Need to brush up for sure!

[OSUFan_88]

While working out is good, it's not important. Let me just say that. I've had a friends who had no muscle and they can get chicks like nothing.

That being said, make sure you smile and be friendly but DO NOT be a friend. I cannot stress this enough, you have to be attentive and smile and be actively participating, but make damn sure you do not offer any advice. The minute she starts thinking of you as the friend, it's over.

That was constantly my problem. I'm not saying be a dick, but do not, do NOT be the friend. It's a hard rut to break out of and it's hard not to do that.

I guess my suggestion is be a friendly guy, but make your intentions known at the beginning.

[NDAlum]

It's not about muscles it's about confidence.

Working out and feeling better about your appearance is huge for personal confidence.

Those guys with no muscles who get girls: they already have confidence.

[TheMatrix31]

Chicks are way, way, WAY too much work.