Yeah, having the same account on multiple devices confuses the **** out of the whole system. To make it worse, you're sharing apps with push notifications.
I've only shared apps that don't use PN's, so I'm not sure what the solution would be. Theoretically the PN should go to all devices but since you're overlapping so many I can see the problem.
Set your wife up with her own account (it's free) and redownload all the apps under her account. Since they are free it shouldn't be a problem. The only hurdle would probably if you only use one PC at home. Then, you'd have to set her up with her own machine account and ultimately, keep two copies of each app on your system.
There may be another way, but that's all I can think of right now as an immediate solution.

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