Physical Discipline........

[CMH]

Re: Physical Discipline........

IMO that is the biggest problem with parents now. Too many of them treat their kids as friends instead of treating as kids. I see it everytime I go to the store. People be holding family meetings with their kids asking them if they want to wash dishes tonight.

Don't agree with that either.

I got the belt when I was younger, but there was always a good reason for it.

The kid in this video said his mother elbowed him because he kept asking her a question. If that's true, I hardly find that to be a good reason and the kid called her out on it.

[NDAlum]

Re: Physical Discipline........

Yep grew up a very happy child, I got everything I wanted 90% of the time. The other 10% I got what I needed and what was more functional then name brand. To this day I can call my parents up anytime I want. If I need money they will lend me some money. My parents taught me the value of money and a good work ethic, that nothing in life is free. And there is a cause and effect for everything in this world.

Yea man I had a fierce mom who is bigger than most of your dad's out there. She laid it down on me and spankings were what happened. That and some verbal commands to not do things.

There was no "hey let's please talk about this and don't do that it's wrong".

I believe in creating FEAR from doing WRONG, not FEAR from a parent.

I was FEARFUL to do any WRONG because of the punishment. I was not FEARFUL of my mom.

It worked for me, as I've never gotten in trouble (serious) my entire life.

I will not sit there and try to rationalize with a 12 year old kid about right and wrong. If I have a child and they do wrong they will be disciplined into knowing what they did was wrong and they will fear doing wrong because of the consequences.

[Beantown]

Re: Physical Discipline........

My parents never did, and I never will.

And as long as parents don't do it out in public, I really have no problem with it. You're allowed to raise your kids anyway you want/think is best. Both ways can work wonderfully and both ways can backfire catastrophically. But when parents start hitting their kids in public, it's just disrespectful and ridiculous.

[NDAlum]

Re: Physical Discipline........

My parents never did, and I never will.

And as long as parents don't do it out in public, I really have no problem with it. You're allowed to raise your kids anyway you want/think is best. Both ways can work wonderfully and both ways can backfire catastrophically. But when parents start hitting their kids in public, it's just disrespectful and ridiculous.

What? How is it disrespectful?

You contradict yourself in your post. If I have a child and they do something wrong in public I will correct them in public.

[Beantown]

Re: Physical Discipline........

What? How is it disrespectful?

You contradict yourself in your post. If I have a child and they do something wrong in public I will correct them in public.

Sorry, should've said: "You can raise your child however you want at home" because that's your business. If you're beating your kid in public, it's disrespectful to everyone else around you. No one wants to see that. Same way it's disrespectful to be yelling on your cellphone in a crowded public place, etc.

[mKoz26]

Re: Physical Discipline........

Sorry, should've said: "You can raise your child however you want at home" because that's your business. If you're beating your kid in public, it's disrespectful to everyone else around you. No one wants to see that. Same way it's disrespectful to be yelling on your cellphone in a crowded public place, etc.

I agree with all of this.

If you want to spank your child, fine by me. Do it within the confines of your own home.

[NDAlum]

Re: Physical Discipline........

Beating? Seriously?

Who in their right mind here talking about disciplining their child is referring to beating them?

To you any type of physical correction is viewed as beating, and I'll have to simply disagree with that view.

[Beantown]

Re: Physical Discipline........

Beating? Seriously?

Who in their right mind here talking about disciplining their child is referring to beating them?

To you any type of physical correction is viewed as beating, and I'll have to simply disagree with that view.

Beating was an intentional hyperbole.

Clearly a spanking here or there is not beating. Beating would be reserved to the severe physical abuse.

But no, I do not agree with any physical punishment in public. Grabbing an arm and pulling them away from them, picking them up, etc. is fine, but if you're going to hit your kid in some way, do it at home.

[slimm44]

Re: Physical Discipline........

To those who think that spanking in public is wrong:

If a child acts up in a way that warrants a spanking (in the parents' opinion), how should that discipline be given?

I wouldn't spank my child in the middle of a crowded place, but I would take him immediately to a private area (ie restroom) and do what I need to do. If I see somebody else spanking their kid in public, it doesn't bother me. It's their kid, not mine, and as long as they're not going overboard, who am I to tell them how to raise their child?

[DaveDQ]

Re: Physical Discipline........

Beating was an intentional hyperbole.

Clearly a spanking here or there is not beating. Beating would be reserved to the severe physical abuse.

But no, I do not agree with any physical punishment in public. Grabbing an arm and pulling them away from them, picking them up, etc. is fine, but if you're going to hit your kid in some way, do it at home.

I agree that in public should be avoided because the goal here is showing the child who is in control and that they will indeed pay the consequence for their misconduct, not to draw attention. What I do is try to calmly take my kids somewhere where it isn't seen. I had to do this the other night with my youngest who decided he was going to screach every 10 seconds at the pre-school open house. I simply took him in an unoccupied room and swatted his hand.

One thing about pulling the arms, especially with kids that are more petite, parents should be careful. My son has this issue they call Nurse's Elbow where if pulled hard enough a ligament in his arm slightly dislocates causing a bunch of pain. The first time it happened I was spinning him around and thought I dislocated his arm. I felt terrible. It eventually fell back into place but we took him to the doctor and they explained how to pop it back in if needed.

[Beantown]

Re: Physical Discipline........

To those who think that spanking in public is wrong:

If a child acts up in a way that warrants a spanking (in the parents' opinion), how should that discipline be given?

Somewhere private, as you said. Take them to an unoccupied room, somewhere that people don't have to watch. A kid may be crying in public, but people are used to that and usually (unless it's a real severe temper tantrum) can ignore it and go on with there day. If a parent starts spanking/disciplining their kid in broad view of everyone, it is only going to create a bigger scene and - to me - shows that the parent can't control their kid without some threat of violence.

Like I said, both ways have their positives and negatives. Both can work wonders for parents and both can have very negative repurcussions. I was never hit as a kid, never feared my parents, and they never attempted to make me fear them or the threat of punishment. I'll more than likely never hit my kid, as well, because my sisters and I all turned out fine (finished college, have jobs, have friends and relationships, no real mental problems, etc) with the way they raised us and I want to raise my kids that way.

If other people don't, more power to them. If it works, it works. I just don't agree with public discipline because of the simple fact that it is only an escalation and, from what I've seen in my time in the service/retail industry, only makes things worse. Just my opinion.

[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: Physical Discipline........

My parents simply laid out the rules before we went out in public.

1. Don't touch anything.

2. Don't ask for anything.

3. If you do any one of the two, you getting checked right in the store.


For me growing up, we were taught not to socialize with adults. We weren't allowed to be in the same room when adults were talking. We weren't allowed to hold conversations with adults. We were taught kids are to be seen and not heard.

So other then hi, you didn't talk to adults 1st unless they asked you a question. Kids coversated with kids and adults with adults.

[Tokyo-Night]

Re: Physical Discipline........

My parents are from the south so therefore they didn't believe in time out or you going to lose tv watching or videogame playing. If you got out of line you got dealt with right then and there. Didn't matter if you were in the store or at church.

Act out in public and you would have got dealt with 5 times as bad. My parents believed in you got spanked with whatever that was around them in reaching distance at the time.

So therefore I got whooped with a belt, extension cord, house shoe, flip flops, switch, 3 inch thick cow hide belt or just the their hand. And for me growing up I would rather get whooped by my mom then my dad because she didn't hit as nearly as hard. It would take about 20 licks from her to get you to cry. But with my dad, he hit so hard, the 1st whack and you were crying.

And yes my parents didn't believe in 3 or 4 swats, they believed in 30 seconds of hell. My dad would come home and my mom would be like he talked back to me, my dad would snatch me up by the shirt with one hand, my feet dangling in the air, you did what boy ?????? Get across that bed and wore that arse out with the 3 inch thick cow hide belt.

That belt was known as the I am going break your arse strap for showing out. Left your butt sore for days. My parents told us from day one we didn't have an opinion, we didn't have a say, this wasn't a democracy in this house, this was a kingdom and there is only one king.

Let you try to talk back or point, you would have got the back hand across your mouth right then and there. And let some fool on the street try to tell my parents how to raise their kids, my dad would have said you got a problem here, step up for I can whoop your arse too.

Needless to say I grew up a good kid LOL. I look at these kids today.....lack of discipline. They talk back to their moms left and right. Walk away from their moms when their mom is talking to them, pointing at them, gettting all up in their face.

My parents didn't take none of that. They have always said you walk up on me you better be prepared to throw down because I going to knock you on your arse for getting up on me like that.

They weren't BS either. My sister walked up on our mom when she was 15, our mom hit her right in the face and dropped her. Then stood over her and was like you lost your damn mind, who you walking up on like that ?

My younger brother tried that on our mom when he was 12, because he was already pushing 6ft then. Mom side kicked right in under the chin kind of like how Shawn Michaels does his sweet chin music. My younger brother hit the floor. Mom was like don't think because you taller then me I won't kick your arse.

Nobody tried walking up on our dad LMAO.

ROFL You got the cow hide They broke you like a wild horse ROFL

[DaveDQ]

Re: Physical Discipline........

3. If you do any one of the two, you getting checked right in the store.

Like an NHL body check? That would be brutal!

[OSUFan_88]

Re: Physical Discipline........

In public, the only thing I believe in is to slap on the wrist if a child is reaching for something they should not. Otherwise, it becomes a whole Children Services type deal.

In private, if a child does something wrong after being told repeatedly to do it, they deserve a spanking. It's the first thing to do, definitely a last resort type of thing, but spanking works. I don't believe in any other physical discipline, though.

I also believe that spanking instills discipline not only at home, but in school and in life as they will be more fearful of doing wrong, which is good, IMO.