Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia
Why you should never take a dump in public:
9/9/99. I had just picked up my new Dreamcast and NFL 2K and was about to leave the mall when nature called. Normally I avoid dropping a deuce in a public washroom at all costs, but I was facing a long ride home and had no choice. So I zip into a stall, put my great big EB bag with the DC in it on the floor, sit down and get ready to drop the kids off at the pool when the door opens and I see someone wheel by my stall into the handicapped stall beside mine.
This was followed by some commotion, some hideous noises (and aromas), and then finally a flush. And then another flush. And then a third flush. And then the words that still haunt me to this day:
"Uh oh sir, look out!"
As the son of a b**** wheeled out, his words were followed by what sounded like water (albeit chunky water) hitting the floor. I looked down to see a river of s*** flowing my way. It was surrounding my toilet, but I wasn't finished my business yet so I had to frantically lift my Dreamcast off the floor with one leg while holding the other in the air. Sitting there lifting the precious DC with one leg and trying to finish up without anything touching the floor was the most excruciating few moments of my life. When I was done I had to perform acrobatics to get to the small section of clean floor left in the stall and somehow managed to get out of there without incident. I stalked the aisles in a rage, looking for someone in a wheelchair, but I never found him.
Why you should never take a dump in public:
9/9/99. I had just picked up my new Dreamcast and NFL 2K and was about to leave the mall when nature called. Normally I avoid dropping a deuce in a public washroom at all costs, but I was facing a long ride home and had no choice. So I zip into a stall, put my great big EB bag with the DC in it on the floor, sit down and get ready to drop the kids off at the pool when the door opens and I see someone wheel by my stall into the handicapped stall beside mine.
This was followed by some commotion, some hideous noises (and aromas), and then finally a flush. And then another flush. And then a third flush. And then the words that still haunt me to this day:
"Uh oh sir, look out!"
As the son of a b**** wheeled out, his words were followed by what sounded like water (albeit chunky water) hitting the floor. I looked down to see a river of s*** flowing my way. It was surrounding my toilet, but I wasn't finished my business yet so I had to frantically lift my Dreamcast off the floor with one leg while holding the other in the air. Sitting there lifting the precious DC with one leg and trying to finish up without anything touching the floor was the most excruciating few moments of my life. When I was done I had to perform acrobatics to get to the small section of clean floor left in the stall and somehow managed to get out of there without incident. I stalked the aisles in a rage, looking for someone in a wheelchair, but I never found him.
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