Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

[mgoblue]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

I gotta bump this because of what happened the other night.


I was hungover and I went for supper at a cookhouse with my family and girlfriend. I hammered down a plate of nachos, and then by the time the meal came I felt my stomache going to war. I tried fighting it, lost, excused myself and paid a visit to the toilet.

The bathroom only had two stalls and they were next to each other, and there was already a dude in the second one. I couldn't hold it in, so I whipped down my pants, sat down and unleashed the fury.

Buddy beside me starts laughing. So if that wasn't awkward enough, he answers back, starts grunting and lets out a bomb. Then proceeds to say, "Hey, I just sunk your battle****." Then began to laugh.

I pushed once more, wiped, washed and peaced.

If you didn't know, in the first Harold and Kumar there were 2 girls in a bathroom playing Battle****s like that...Hilarious though!

[Bird006]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

If you didn't know, in the first Harold and Kumar there were 2 girls in a bathroom playing Battle****s like that...Hilarious though!

Oh yeah, I've seen it.


Still didn't make it any less traumatizing.

[callmetaternuts]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

If you didn't know, in the first Harold and Kumar there were 2 girls in a bathroom playing Battle****s like that...Hilarious though!

Haha, i havent seen that movie or heard that story, but glad to see that someone thought of it.

[RAZRr1275]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

I gotta bump this because of what happened the other night.


I was hungover and I went for supper at a cookhouse with my family and girlfriend. I hammered down a plate of nachos, and then by the time the meal came I felt my stomache going to war. I tried fighting it, lost, excused myself and paid a visit to the toilet.

The bathroom only had two stalls and they were next to each other, and there was already a dude in the second one. I couldn't hold it in, so I whipped down my pants, sat down and unleashed the fury.

Buddy beside me starts laughing. So if that wasn't awkward enough, he answers back, starts grunting and lets out a bomb. Then proceeds to say, "Hey, I just sunk your battle****." Then began to laugh.

I pushed once more, wiped, washed and peaced.

[JohnDoe8865]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

Good stuff in this thread, including the link to the other thread from 07.

[J0nnD0ugh]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

You guys need to go on Oprah & talk about your struggle.

[Slimshoom]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

one of the best threads ive ever seen

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

I used to share the phobia, but we just moved into a brand new building at work and the bathrooms are pristine. They get cleaned three times a day (mid-morning, mid-afternoon, and after close). The lights in there are on sensors that will automatically shut off after a while.

There is nothing better than going in there in the morning and the lights are still off. You open the door, take a few steps and the lights turn on. You know that you are the first one that morning and things are as clean as can be.

There is nothing worse than going mid afternoon, printing up a few articles from SI.com or ESPN.com and sitting down in an empty bathroom only to hear the dreaded knock on the door from the cleaning lady...It's bad enough that you have to yell that you are in there (even worse when there are two occupants and you are waiting for the other guy to own up to it and he doesn't)
What do you do?
-A) Sit back, relax, take your time and enjoy your business only to have to take the walk of shame by her afterwards (she sits by the door until it's all clear).
-B) Rush, through it in hopes that she thinks you were just taking a leak.

I usually shoot for B, but either choice sucks.

As far as peeing in public. I had a teamate in college who suffered from this. We made post season and after/before one of our games, players were randomly selected for a urine test, in which someone had to witness the deposit. The poor guy couldn't go for the life of him and kept drinking bottle of water after bottle of water. Eventually he was finally able to go and they said it was too diluted.

[Koolie G]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

Great Thread. I'm not a fan of going in public, but I will if need be and not think twice about it. As far as peeing, I've never had a problem. In elementary school we used to have those long troughs like at a lot of stadiums. We'd try to see who could stand the farthest away and arch it up and in the trough. I could get all the way back to wall and make it. I should try this at the next sporting event I go to. How hilarious would that be? Youtube!!!!

Last week I ate at a Hibachi style Japanese restaurant and that place always makes me go #2 quick. Sometimes before I can leave the restaurant. Well we live about 30 mins from the restaraunt and I was with my fiance and her mom. Her mom was driving and we got about halfway home and I said "you gotta pull in McDonalds, I gotta go." I straight up destroyed that bathroom with some explosive discharge. You know when people come in and you try and keep the fart sounds or the water sounds or the discharge sounds down until they leave.....well I didn't do that and I kinda chuckled to myself that those people are gonna be watching for me to come out of this bathroom. I opened the door looked at every person in view and thought to myself "peace out", then I hit the door and back in the car to go home, where I proceeded to duece two more times before bed.

Going in public restrooms is a funny thing and if I didn't feel so self-concious about it, I'd laugh at a whole lot more people that are doing it when I just went in to pee and they are in there moaning and groaning.

[Slimshoom]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

i cant go in the long troughs...i have to wait for a stall. So basically if im at Joe Louis Arena or Wrigley Field (only places that I can think that have them), I may be waiting for a longggg time.

[GSW]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

i cant go in the long troughs...i have to wait for a stall. So basically if im at Joe Louis Arena or Wrigley Field (only places that I can think that have them), I may be waiting for a longggg time.

scared someone might see your little talisman of truth?

--

I used to always hold it, but the fact of the matter is holding your defecation is allowing feces to reneter your blood stream and it wrecks havoc on your digestive system...

so if you want fecal matter in your blood stream creating disease, continue to hold it.. me? ill let that all slide out when it needs too...no matter where I am

[Slimshoom]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

scared someone might see your little talisman of truth?

yea pretty much. Or scared that some old dude will walk up and I'll accidentally see his wrinkly "appendage". Plus it just feels weird to pee in a trough

[Stumbleweed]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

Every urinal should have a divider. I hate the ones that are troughs or otherwise without a divider... makes the "every other urinal" rule even more important hah.

[GSW]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

yea pretty much. Or scared that some old dude will walk up and I'll accidentally see his wrinkly "appendage". Plus it just feels weird to pee in a trough

why are you looking at another mans talisman?

im not trying to take it there, but your eyes should be on two things (maybe three)

The wall in front of you, your own protecter of justice, or the ceiling.

In order for you to catch a glimpse at another man sherpa, youd have to activly be looking, and not in the gawking/staring/licking lips way, but you undercover want to look, therefore you peek out the corner of your eye...

that is against the man rules and trough etiqute buddy.

[Moses Shuttlesworth]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

I gotta bump this because of what happened the other night.


I was hungover and I went for supper at a cookhouse with my family and girlfriend. I hammered down a plate of nachos, and then by the time the meal came I felt my stomache going to war. I tried fighting it, lost, excused myself and paid a visit to the toilet.

The bathroom only had two stalls and they were next to each other, and there was already a dude in the second one. I couldn't hold it in, so I whipped down my pants, sat down and unleashed the fury.

Buddy beside me starts laughing. So if that wasn't awkward enough, he answers back, starts grunting and lets out a bomb. Then proceeds to say, "Hey, I just sunk your battle****." Then began to laugh.

I pushed once more, wiped, washed and peaced.

Gotta be the funniest **** I've seen anyone post on my time here at OS.