Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

[CaptainZombie]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

I gotta bump this because of what happened the other night.


I was hungover and I went for supper at a cookhouse with my family and girlfriend. I hammered down a plate of nachos, and then by the time the meal came I felt my stomache going to war. I tried fighting it, lost, excused myself and paid a visit to the toilet.

The bathroom only had two stalls and they were next to each other, and there was already a dude in the second one. I couldn't hold it in, so I whipped down my pants, sat down and unleashed the fury.

Buddy beside me starts laughing. So if that wasn't awkward enough, he answers back, starts grunting and lets out a bomb. Then proceeds to say, "Hey, I just sunk your battle****." Then began to laugh.

I pushed once more, wiped, washed and peaced.

Now this was funny as hell, had me rollin'. LOL!

[Slimshoom]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

ok so today i had to go bad at school so I went into this secluded bathroom (one stall) and proceed to do my business. Well I'm like half-way through when this dude walks in, peeks in through the crack in the door, and then leaves. I was like wtf, arent there better ways to figure out if someones in there than looking in.

[Blzer]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

ok so today i had to go bad at school so I went into this secluded bathroom (one stall) and proceed to do my business. Well I'm like half-way through when this dude walks in, peeks in through the crack in the door, and then leaves. I was like wtf, arent there better ways to figure out if someones in there than looking in.

Normally I look for shoes underneath.

I hate it even more when people walk in the bathroom to find a stall, approach my stall and yank on it three times before they realized it's locked and someone is in it, and they proceed to the next stall unapologetically.

[Rawdeal28]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

Why you should never take a dump in public:

9/9/99. I had just picked up my new Dreamcast and NFL 2K and was about to leave the mall when nature called. Normally I avoid dropping a deuce in a public washroom at all costs, but I was facing a long ride home and had no choice. So I zip into a stall, put my great big EB bag with the DC in it on the floor, sit down and get ready to drop the kids off at the pool when the door opens and I see someone wheel by my stall into the handicapped stall beside mine.

This was followed by some commotion, some hideous noises (and aromas), and then finally a flush. And then another flush. And then a third flush. And then the words that still haunt me to this day:

"Uh oh sir, look out!"

As the son of a b**** wheeled out, his words were followed by what sounded like water (albeit chunky water) hitting the floor. I looked down to see a river of s*** flowing my way. It was surrounding my toilet, but I wasn't finished my business yet so I had to frantically lift my Dreamcast off the floor with one leg while holding the other in the air. Sitting there lifting the precious DC with one leg and trying to finish up without anything touching the floor was the most excruciating few moments of my life. When I was done I had to perform acrobatics to get to the small section of clean floor left in the stall and somehow managed to get out of there without incident. I stalked the aisles in a rage, looking for someone in a wheelchair, but I never found him.

Nothing like taking a nice dump in TARGET while the wife is shopping.......

A few years ago me and a friend of mine went to Talladega the fall race of 04. (Junior Won) It was on Saturday went to cup ptactice and the Arca Race, I left a Hershey chcolate bar on the arm rest in my Mustang. Well it was all liquid when we got back to the car and the Port A Pot was close to where I parked so I opened the candy and smeered it all over the seat, floor, and inside door handle. It really looked like someones stomach wasnt agreeing with them at all. We sat there for a hour or so and just watched peoples reactions. It was one of the funniest things I've seen.

all of you are full of ****!!!

[coffeeholic]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

When I was in High School-I had a part time job and had to clean out the crappers in a hospital. I've seen the Mother of all creatures in toilets that were not flushed by people who weren't well. Which brings me to a good point-Courtesy flushing is a good thing.
To this day it sickens to me to even walk in a public restroom-for I know what can happen in there. If I have to go No.1 at work and it smells bad, I will pull my shirt over my nose and hope I don't get a whiff till I can bolt outta there.
little funny story add on: I was working in a factory many years ago and my work area was close to the craphouse. The UPS truck driver went running into the head at warp 2 and was in there for about 10 minutes. I knew he was making a "special delivery" and I had to go No1 pretty bad already.
When he came out, I was getting ready to go in-He had the grin of a mule eating briars on his face and said "I wouldn't go in there for about a year if I were you" and slapped me on the back. I went to the bathroom across the building with seconds to spare and risk getting wrote up for leaving my work area. At least he gave me fair warning.

[frostbyte06]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

(Sorta off topic and sorta related)

What about the situation where you come in right as somebody is finishing their "business" and then they don't wash their hands and then want to have a conversation with you in the bathroom...I hate that. I go to the bathroom to handle my business and get out, not to have conversations with unclean people. Now I have to hope that the bathroom has paper towels so I can use it to open the door as I leave since you didn't want to wash your hands

[coffeeholic]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

I had to take a whiz once in a public bathroom and it smelled like Godzilla died in there. I'm going fast and went to wash my hands and someone walked in. He looked at me like I dropped the bomb.
I just shrugged my shoulders, told him good luck and walked out. What can you do? If you say "it wasn't me" I'm sure they wouldn't believe you.

[coffeeholic]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

(Sorta off topic and sorta related)

What about the situation where you come in right as somebody is finishing their "business" and then they don't wash their hands and then want to have a conversation with you in the bathroom...I hate that. I go to the bathroom to handle my business and get out, not to have conversations with unclean people. Now I have to hope that the bathroom has paper towels so I can use it to open the door as I leave since you didn't want to wash your hands

I use paper towels to open the bathroom door! I hate those places that don't use towels and have hot air only :-(
I had to use the can at a fast food place awhile back. I was washing my hands and a employee came out of the stall and went back to work without washing. Good God-I hope this isn't a regular practice at all eateries.
I'm glad this thread started-It's good to know that I'm not the only one that has problems with public restrooms.

[callmetaternuts]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

These are some hilarious stories. Im dying over here.

And im about to go conquer the fear by dropping a Code Brown at work

[frostbyte06]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

I use paper towels to open the bathroom door! I hate those places that don't use towels and have hot air only :-(
I had to use the can at a fast food place awhile back. I was washing my hands and a employee came out of the stall and went back to work without washing. Good God-I hope this isn't a regular practice at all eateries.
I'm glad this thread started-It's good to know that I'm not the only one that has problems with public restrooms.

LOL.....I feel your pain, you have two options in this situation, either you sacrifice part of your shirt to open the door or you have to sacrifice a non-essential finger to open the door (like a pinkie) until you can make it to some hand sanitizer.

[AlexBrady]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

No! I will never take a dump in public. I remember when I was a 9 year old kid and was at Mile High Stadium and I had to take a dump really bad. I told my father (who was/is an out and out scumbag) that I had to take a dump. He tells me to just use the public restroom and I say " But dad, those things are dirty!" My bitching about the bathroom goes on for another 10 minutes. He eventually becomes enraged at me because of my constant whining about the bathroom and leaves me at the Stadium by myself.

I was a very shy and reserved kid so naturally I am freaking out because I am stuck in this huge place with no ride home and no dad. I end up pooping my pants because I get so nervous looking for my father. So here I am walking around Mile High with poopy pants searching for my dad. I couldn't locate him and I was too scared to talk to a policeman. So, like the coward that I was, I end up sleeping on a bench with poop in my pants and no coat.

The next day I finally muster up the courage to talk to a policeman. When we get to the station I give him my address and home number. The guy gives me a ride home but when I return I am in for another beating because my dad said that I was the one who got lost and acted immaturely.

Anyways, I couldn't believe that my own dad would just abandon me at the stadium.

[BoomerSooner11]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

Ya I have to choose my targets wisely...maybe a clean Albertsons or something..I really try not to crap in public.

[SuperBowlNachos]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

I was pissing in a Coldstone Creamery bathroom once. It was a one person restroom and I was going when the light shut off. I just though ah crap and finished and zipped up. Then I got down to flush and the light pops back on, didn't know it was a motion sensor.

[SuperBowlNachos]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

I'm the same way about peeing especially at sporting events, like you mentioned, and after a movie.

I remember in elementary school I wouldn't even pee in the bathroom. Once middle school hit, I was able to go. I never went #2 at school until college. I had the luxury of living very close to school so I would just drive home and go and no one would ever know.

I couldn't crap with people knowing at school forever. I would go to the nurses office. But come HS I crapped every day before athletics

[LingeringRegime]

Re: Taking-a-dump-in-public-a-phobia

Yeah, I hate to drop the deuce in public. Also, if I go into a restroom to do #1, and someone is sounding the alarm with a horrific symphony I will sprint for the nearest wooded area before I spend another nanosecond in that noxious place. (Airports are the worst for that by the way.)