Should your wife take your last name?

[DC]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

everyone saying they don't care...I bet when it comes down to it you are going to darn well want her to

I would never MAKE her....but I would want a pretty good explanation as far as why she didn't want to or wouldn't. And I don't know, if she just flat out refused and didn't offer much explanation, it may end the relationship.

Just being honest

IMO unify a name. If she has the better or more historic name, choose hers. If she doesnt choose yours. Or like someone said choose a neutral name. I just think you as a married couple should have the same last name. I dont care whos or if you made it up.

Yea ok

[DC]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

So what happens when a Daughter with a hyphenated last name doesn't want to take her future husband's name? Would she hyphenate it again?

[jmood88]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

If she doesn't want it then she doesn't take it.

[slickdtc]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

I've never really thought about this. The woman traditionally takes the man's last name, so I never really thought about what if she didn't want to.

Thankfully, my girlfriend is excited to ditch her last name (personal reasons) and take on mine. It's funny, I really like her last name. Though my last name is a palindrome so it has that going for it.

What's in a name? A lot to some people, not so much to others.

[JohnnytheSkin]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

Nope...when my wife and I got married it was her choice whether to hyphenate, keep her name, or not. She took my last name because the number of syllables otherwise would have been utterly insane (plus she didn't like her last name due to family issues).

I have a buddy who hyphenated his last name when he got married. So he's [not the real names] "Jones-Butler" while she's "Butler-Jones". I actually thought it was a respectful and unique thing to do.

I just wonder about the kids down the line, which name to take, what if they marry a hyphenated name, etc.

[fishepa]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

Nope, wouldn't bother me.

[frostbyte06]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

It was never an issue to be the truth, my wife's question was should she keep her middle name or move her maiden name to the middle name. Both of our parents had the mother taking the father's last name, so I guess it was just a given for us. If she hadn't wanted to I would want to know why, all things being equal I would prefer it. Was it a make or break issue for the marriage?...nope.

[JBH3]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

There's nothing wrong w/ tradition. Sometimes I think people just challenge it for the sake of challenging it.

How many saying "NO" are actually married?

This is the 21st century. No woman should be forced to change her name. If she wants to, great. If she doesn't, too bad.

She isn't forced. Forced would be like holding a gun to her head and saying change your name *****.

No...what this is doing is symbolizing committment. That's why this is done, and that's the argument if she doesn't want to do it.

What? You don't want to commit to me? Then why should I commit to you?

everyone saying they don't care...I bet when it comes down to it you are going to darn well want her to

I would never MAKE her....but I would want a pretty good explanation as far as why she didn't want to or wouldn't. And I don't know, if she just flat out refused and didn't offer much explanation, it may end the relationship.

Just being honest

QFT. And if it didn't end it, it would certainly arise an aire of precaution regarding her commitment.

[mjb2124]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

No...what this is doing is symbolizing committment. That's why this is done, and that's the argument if she doesn't want to do it.

Simply playing devil's advocate because I don't think it matters either way, but are some guys that self conscious and/or lacking in self-esteem that they need the woman to take his last name to symbolize commitment? If someone just wants his wife to take his last name because his last name is that important to him, then go for it... I just don't believe taking a last name symbolizes much of anything.

While my wife had a very good reason to keep her last name (profession - lawyer), even if she didn't have a reason, it wouldn't bother me one bit. I know she's committed regardless of name...afterall, to me, it's just a name - not a big deal.

Now if the woman didn't want to live in the same house or wanted to sleep with multiple guys, that would be a different story.

[DC]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

Nope...when my wife and I got married it was her choice whether to hyphenate, keep her name, or not. She took my last name because the number of syllables otherwise would have been utterly insane (plus she didn't like her last name due to family issues).

I have a buddy who hyphenated his last name when he got married. So he's [not the real names] "Jones-Butler" while she's "Butler-Jones". I actually thought it was a respectful and unique thing to do.

I just wonder about the kids down the line, which name to take, what if they marry a hyphenated name, etc.

LOL @ Respectful

THat is just weird

[mgoblue]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

Nope...when my wife and I got married it was her choice whether to hyphenate, keep her name, or not. She took my last name because the number of syllables otherwise would have been utterly insane (plus she didn't like her last name due to family issues).

I have a buddy who hyphenated his last name when he got married. So he's [not the real names] "Jones-Butler" while she's "Butler-Jones". I actually thought it was a respectful and unique thing to do.

I just wonder about the kids down the line, which name to take, what if they marry a hyphenated name, etc.

I don't think I could do that, it'd be kinda weird to me...I'd be fine with her hyphenating if she had some strong attachment to her name, but not gonna add hers to mine

[pfunk880]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

Though my last name is a palindrome so it has that going for it.

Haha, so it is. That did not occur to me until you mentioned it here. Good stuff.

There's nothing wrong w/ tradition. Sometimes I think people just challenge it for the sake of challenging it.

How many saying "NO" are actually married?



She isn't forced. Forced would be like holding a gun to her head and saying change your name *****.

No...what this is doing is symbolizing committment. That's why this is done, and that's the argument if she doesn't want to do it.

What? You don't want to commit to me? Then why should I commit to you?



QFT. And if it didn't end it, it would certainly arise an aire of precaution regarding her commitment.

Great post.

[bsb13]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

I have another question why to babies to unmarried couples take the mans last name??
I am not ashamed to admit I have my SO CALLED fathers last name and I have not seen him since I was 2. My mother and father where never married but I still got his last name.
I have many friends who have kids out of marriage and they all have there last names not the mothers.

I'll be honest, if its a dead beat dad who never comes around then I dont have any problem with the child taking the last name of the mother, or the last name of the man that plays the role of the father for that kid. If your a dead beat dad who never helps out or comes around, you forfeit all rights as far as I'm concerned.

[stewaat]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

Equality in marriage does not exist.

If/when I get married, I sure as heck want the last name to be the same.

[mattsb84]

Re: Should your wife take your last name?

Wow. Can see who wears the pants in a lot of the relationships here...

One word: Whipped!

Absolutely she should be taking my last name.