I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

[mgoblue]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

ODogg, I'd just try and not let them get to you, but also I wouldn't joke around them anymore...It seems your brand of humor doesn't get through to them, and it just comes off poorly. Sucks, but how it is I guess.

[baumy300]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

Alright man, after reading this thread I have come up with the most obvious solution to Odogg's problem - Psychological warfare.

Here is what you do, Odogg. Come into contact with the kids whether it be by telephone, internet, creeping, etc... and explain to them that you have tons of awesome gifts (make things up, like tell your niece you bought her a pony and a carnie to take care of it) that you would like to give to them but their mother (your sister) won't let you.

When they ask why tell them it is because she does not care for them. This will surely stir trouble. When your sister is loathed by her weeping children and eventually gets to the bottom of their newfound Stewie Griffin-isque hatred of her she will have no choice but to reason with you.

What do you think?

[Whitesox]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

Alright man, after reading this thread I have come up with the most obvious solution to Odogg's problem - Psychological warfare.

Here is what you do, Odogg. Come into contact with the kids whether it be by telephone, internet, creeping, etc... and explain to them that you have tons of awesome gifts (make things up, like tell your niece you bought her a pony and a carnie to take care of it) that you would like to give to them but their mother (your sister) won't let you.

When they ask why tell them it is because she does not care for them. This will surely stir trouble. When your sister is loathed by her weeping children and eventually gets to the bottom of their newfound Stewie Griffin-isque hatred of her she will have no choice but to reason with you.

What do you think?

[Small edit] Sounds like a joke, now that I re-read it. Still, the message below holds true [/Small edit]

I haven't read the entire thread, so I may have missed something on the last page or two. But I got taken to the last page and I saw this. A bit of a red flag to me, because the answer (IMO) to every problem ODog has posted has been to "Let cooler heads prevail".

"Warfare" of any kind is exactly the opposite of that, which leads me to believe it would cause many more problems.

I understand the part about your niece and nephew, so talk to her, calmly. Call her, if she answers tell her to listen, and that you don't think the kids should suffer because of this. If she doesn't, leave a voice-mail with the same message. If she doesn't call back, then get someone else to talk to her.

All of this fighting is nothing but a vicious circle. You fight about these problems, causing more problems to fight about.

[jonpt]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

jeremym480 - that is kind of what i was thinking, i was planning to have the kids find out when they can come stay with me, then have my mom go pick them up, then me pick them up and drop them off at my mom's house. i'm sure my sister would like that idea too as she could be free to go out drinking and partying all weekend since she's single now.

jonpt - it's amazing that you posted that because I have really come to that conclusion over the last few days myself. i think i've just decided that you can't ever really force anyone to be a part of a family and in doing so actually just makes things worse. i also have, in this last difficult month, probably the most difficult month of my life to be honest, i have come to terms with the fact with what my family really is. i think a lot of us kind of harbor notions of our family that may not match with reality. this has been sort of my wake up call that i really don't have a family that really much enjoys each other in a normal, functional way. and in some cases i've come to the conclusion that there is a lot of hate and anger that was directed to me that I honestly never really even realized existed.

a friend of mine who gives good advice has told me to weigh the pros and cons of continuing to try with certain people, people like my sister, and i asked myself, when was the last time i ever had a good time with misty...and I realized i can't ever remember having a good time with her.. at all. So she is her own person and that is that. i am powerless to change that situation as i've done all i can do and it's been rejected, in fact, with extreme prejudice. i guess i'm slow to take hints, LOL. but maybe not, i really haven't tried to even deal with her too much after school because of this kind of stuff..until my niece/nephew came along and then i resumed trying again.

it's great advice though, accept your powerlessness. live your life and try to be happy without stressing over "how things should be". i also need to quit trying so much to understand how other people think, like what is going through their head? and lastly, i need to quit trying so hard to make peace with people who don't really care to have peace but instead would prefer chaos, anger and dramatics. this doesn't just apply to my sister but other members of my family as well...

Yeah, It's what I work on each day and has become easier and easier as time goes on. It was tough at first cause it was a total 180 from what I used to do (I was very easily amped up at times)...and from time to time I still slip but it is much easier for me now than it used to be. One single thing that has helped me the most is prayer. Like I said, I don't know what your beliefs are or If you ever prayed. I used to be a skeptic about it until someone told me the reason I was because I had never tried it and they were right. After doing this for awhile I was amazed at how much more serene I was and how comfortable I was at my place in life. In other words life is easier and not so much of a struggle. Most people think you have to be religious to pray but you really don't. The only prayer you need is the Serenity Prayer..It's the one that I use most. It also help me to keep life in perspective each time I say it. It's a easy prayer to remember (not to long) and has alot of meaning to me. Just google "Serenity Prayer" and I'm sure you would come up with the prayer pretty quickly. I have directly made personal progress the #1 priority in life and have found that when I do that it affects my family friends,co-workers, etc. around me indirectly..hope that make sense. It's unfortunate we can't pick our family so we have to accept the hand we have been dealt sometimes..but at least we can pick our friends.

[Lintyfresh85]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

My grandma died on Christmas Day.

My dad also contracted meningitis the same day. He just got home from the hospital yesterday.

Linty > ODogg

[Scottdau]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

My grandma died on Christmas Day.

My dad also contracted meningitis the same day. He just got home from the hospital yesterday.

Linty > ODogg

That is Heavy. Hope all is well with your Dad. And sorry about your grandma. This was the first Christmas with out my grandma too. But she was 92 and had dementia and was just diagnose with cancer, so it was good she died in her sleep. Any way sorry for your loss bro.

[ODogg]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

Linty, I feel for you man. I am not trying to have a contest or anything at all here but my grandpa just found out he has skin cancer so he has to start chemo and has moved into the old folks home for that. My mom was rushed to the E/R for breathing issues on New years Eve and found out she has COPD (from smoking) and so because of that has to stay on oxygen the rest of her life, plus she also has diabetes and has to begin insulin (injections)...and lastly, my grandma who is in a nursing home (she kind of went to crap last Christmas after diabetes claimed her big toe, she's been catatonic every since) also got taken to the E/R because she refuses to eat, is delirious and weighs practically nothing.

It's been a really rough year for some of us OS'ers. Hopefully we all have a much better 2010. I know what I have learned from all of the issues with my mom and grandparents in my post above is this: take care of yourself or you're f****ed. Even then you still could be but at least you tried.

[ODogg]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

P.S. Baumy - i love your post, very funny. And yes I'll bet it DEFINITELY would work too. We would probably end up on Jerry Springer, haha.

[ODogg]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

I just got text messaged that despite my mom being in the hospital for a week and diagnosed with diabetes, told to take insulin injections for it and everything...she is at home right now eating cookies. *sigh*...i'd think there would be easier and faster ways to kill yourself wouldn't you guys??

[jeremym480]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

Odogg, you family dynamic reminds me of The Sopranos. Your Tony, your sister is Janice and your Mom sounds a little stubborn sort of like Tony's Mom, Livia.

[ODogg]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

Odogg, you family dynamic reminds me of The Sopranos. Your Tony, your sister is Janice and your Mom sounds a little stubborn sort of like Tony's Mom, Livia.

holy crap man, you know what i never thought of that but it's so spot on, no wonder I loved that show, maybe subconsciously i knew it. my sister is JUST LIKE Janice man...although maybe a little quicker to anger, if that's possible...and every bit as psycho..althought she has never killed anyone.....yet...

[jeremym480]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

holy crap man, you know what i never thought of that but it's so spot on, no wonder I loved that show, maybe subconsciously i knew it. my sister is JUST LIKE Janice man...although maybe a little quicker to anger, if that's possible...and every bit as psycho..althought she has never killed anyone.....yet...

Haha that's crazy. On a sad note, IIRC Janice wasn't the best Mother. Didn't her oldest son run away from home or something? It could be a bad sign of things to come for you Niece and Nephew in the future.

[ODogg]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

Haha that's crazy. On a sad note, IIRC Janice wasn't the best Mother. Didn't her oldest son run away from home or something? It could be a bad sign of things to come for you Niece and Nephew in the future.

My sister is a good part-time mother, in other words when she's with her kids she's alright but the issue is she's always dumping her kids with everyone and anyone who will take them so she can go do her own thing. My niece, the 13 year old, pretty much lives with all of her friends and my nephew, who is 10, is not that far behind. Even on school nights they are staying over at friends house. My sister probably only has them a couple of nights a week. And because the kids aren't in her control a lot she has no idea what they are up to when they are other kid's houses. So yeah it's a mixed bag in that regards..

[longshadow11]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

My Christmas was much worse. My wife left me for another man 5 days before Christmas. The day after Christmas I was cleaning her stuff out of my house and throwing away momentos of 18 years of marriage.

[ODogg]

Re: I've had the Christmas from hell..anyone feel me?

Yeah that's definitely worse longshadow. You certainly have my sympathy in that regards. That's just freakin' awful man.

As for my situation, just to update everyone, i've pretty much just had no contact with my family since Christmas. It's been great for the most part. I do miss talking to my mom and my nephew but it's not worth the heartache. I think I just need to concentrate on losing some weight, getting a woman and starting a family of my own..