Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

[Stumbleweed]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm 31 and my wife is 28 (8 years of marriage) and we don't have kids and don't really want any. We like things the way they are now, we have a very carefree life and live it together for ourselves. I know a kid would bring new joy and excitement, but neither of us feel we are missing anything in our lives right now. A lot of our friends have little kids now obviously but it still doesn't give us the urge, actually it reminds us why we feel lucky not to have kids. We'll see what happens over the next few years.

This is basically what I want. I don't see a need for a kid, especially with the world in the state that it's in. Not sure I could in good conscience bring another human being into the world.

I'd end up adopting if anything, but it would be a WHILE before that's even a consideration, and I would have ideally already had 5+ years with just myself and my partner. I'm 25 and don't see having a kid until I'm 35 or later... just too many opportunities and things to do in life before being tied down with a child to care for. I like kids too, but just.... no.

[jonpt]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

In my 20's and early 30's I was married to a woman who didn't want them. She hated kids and I was fine with that. Having kids was honestly a scary responsibility and was kind of scared of the entrapment I might feel. I enjoy the freedom I have now of being able to do what I want at anytime with basically no responsiblities other than my job. But there are times when I feel like I missed out on something.

I'm 36 now, so it's not too late but I feel too set in my ways at times. I don't dwell on it too much cause I see the good and the bad through others having children and can't change the past. I also can't see how "saving the world from overpopulation" could possibly factor into someone's decision. Maybe some kind of justified reasoning but that's just my opinion. For right now roughly about 90% of the time, I'm glad I don't have any. If I ever do though, there's no doubt in my mind I would be a good father.

[Bornindamecca]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I also can't see how "saving the world from overpopulation" could possibly factor into someone's decision. Maybe some kind of justified reasoning but that's just my opinion. For right now roughly about 90% of the time, I'm glad I don't have any. If I ever do though, there's no doubt in my mind I would be a good father.

It's not about saving the world from overpopulation. That's reading too much into it. I was just saying that if you live in a very crowded environment, which is the case for people in big cities, I think there is a shift in how much you really want to start a family, or even the size of that family. It's an instinct I see a lot in people now, and I do think that the obligation to have children is much less so now than it was decades ago.

[jonpt]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

It's not about saving the world from overpopulation. That's reading too much into it. I was just saying that if you live in a very crowded environment, which is the case for people in big cities, I think there is a shift in how much you really want to start a family, or even the size of that family. It's an instinct I see a lot in people now, and I do think that the obligation to have children is much less so now than it was decades ago.

Maybe so....Also the pill, Catholic Church oking the pill, and Roe vs Wade in '73 has had a huge effect in cutting down the population. Not as many "accidents" as you saw in the past.

[Jonesy]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

The problem is people who really can't afford or care for kids properly keep having them and all the people who could do a great job and afford it like many of you guys aren't. But that's a whole other topic right there.....

[55]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

The problem is people who really can't afford or care for kids properly keep having them...

Absolutely! I already have to help pay for deadbeat parents' little booger machines so I don't need any of my own.

[elgreazy1]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

The problem is people who really can't afford or care for kids properly keep having them and all the people who could do a great job and afford it like many of you guys aren't. But that's a whole other topic right there.....

Very well stated.

[ehh]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I have never wanted to get married or have children "early". As a random number being thrown out there, I'd be fine getting married around 35-37 and having kids between 38-42. In part because I'm the type who wants to accomplish a lot professionally and personally before getting married and in part because I love being single.

The problem for me is that as I get closer to 35 (and make more money) I enjoy the single life more and more. It's the opposite if the typical "I'm getting older and ready to settle down" thing. Every serious relationship I have lasts about a year and then it just gets stale and boring. I've had four serious relationships and none of them ended on bad terms. It was pretty much a "this thing has run it's course, you're a good girl but not right for me," ending. My most recent break up was mutual and resembled a business decision more than the ending of a serious relationship. It could be that I haven't met the right woman, but I think it's just that I'm too independent to be tied down to one person long term. I guess I'll find out if that's true or not eventually.

Also, as I get older and more friends are married and have children - they seem "okay" at best with their life. They aren't glowing with excitement or raving about how much they love their life. Not sure I want to venture down that road - even if I'm in my 40's.

As others have said, I don't feel like I'm missing anything or have some internal emptiness because I'm single and childless. I love children and as of now I definitely plan on having some at some point in time but as I said above, I feel like that is extremely subject to change haha. I could definitely see myself getting to my late 30's and just say, screw it - children aren't for me.

[JBH3]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

You know what it is really funny. What if your dad or mom felt this way. I am glad I had kids, but they are a lot of work and you are always worrying about them.

Always is an understatement.

Its tough man...especially since for two working adults, which is needed in this economy, it is hard to find good daycare and good daycare that you can afford; we spent over $12K on daycare for just one child last year.

I never wake up wishing I never had a kid. I love my son and he has brought me much more joy than I can ever imagine, but to be a good parent is an extreme challenge and you have to be up for it. If you are not ready to sacrifice your freedom, and ability to do whatever you want whenever you choose then do not become a parent until you're ready.

By nature of my job I get to spend round about 4 hours a day w/ my kid M-F. I work 8 hours, take an hour away for commute, and from 5pm to 9pm I get to spend time w/ my son. I don't get to, or rather want to, do anything for myself until my son goes down for bed because its important that he gets quality time w/ his father. So we go to the playground for an hour everyday, or to the pool for an hour over the summer. Then when we come home we sit and watch what he wants to watch on TV and we play w/ his toys together etc.

My stance is, if you are not ready to do the above day-in/day-out, then having kids may not be for you. If you are easily distracted by your 360/PS3, Facebook, Twitter, TV Shows, then please stay as you are, and enjoy that lifestyle.

I also think that being an only child may hamper a father's abilities to be selfless. My dad was an only child, and the dynamic of that upbringing had a significant affect on not only my childhood but how I go about my parenting. I'm the oldest of 3, and by nature of that had to sacrifice a lot for my little brother and sister.

[Hova57]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm a father of three , love my kids to death there dance recitals , baseball games, football, soccer,basketball and tee ball. They are gods gifts.

If your not ready or don't think u shouldn't have kids fine. But to call them little boogers and so forth are wrong. Kids are the way they are because of the parents. I used to work a job where i pretty much never saw my kids and it broke my heart. children are extensions of you and your wife. Is it time consuming? yes is it hard at times?yes but so many memories at their young life and stories.

There are people who shouldn't have kids that do that is upsetting. But at a young age sure you should do what you want to. i don't like to see 13-18 year olds with children because the child pays for it. The parent then wants those years back and they can't .

I don't know it just upsets me to read some of the comments in here, but some of you guys are young. But don't get to cocky bout it because Karma is a bitch.

[Bornindamecca]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

^^^ You could lighten up a bit.

Pretty sure Dislimb is being tongue in cheek with his comments. And really, "booger machine" gets you riled up? Is that such a scathing comment on the value of children in society?

Ease back, homie.

A few of us are just giving a little while enjoying a childless existence.

And karma? Seriously? So far people in here, yay and nay, are just expressing their feelings. What does karma have to say about that?


Come on, man. :o

[JBH3]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

^^^ You could lighten up a bit.

Pretty sure Dislimb is being tongue in cheek with his comments. And really, "booger machine" gets you riled up? Is that such a scathing comment on the value of children in society?

Ease back, homie.

A few of us are just giving a little while enjoying a childless existence.

And karma? Seriously? So far people in here, yay and nay, are just expressing their feelings. What does karma have to say about that?


Come on, man. :o

You may be right...maybe he does need to ease up on what dislimb said.

Regardless, one of my co-workers refers to her grandkids as stinkers, and uses 'booger machine' type phrases sometimes too.

I don't like speaking of kids in that context either, but I'm not going to feel it my point to be any sort of martyr over my I guess "eccentric" "ideals" regarding that. Don't see anything wrong w/ Hova stepping out like he did.

IMO a kid deserves no negative connotation at all. Anything to refer to their innocence in a condescending, yet cutesy way isn't justified.

[snepp]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

"Booger machine" can be a very accurate description at times.

[jeremym480]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

My dad use to call my brother, sister and I- ****-***es

Spoiler

First word begins with S. Second word begins with A.

[Hova57]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

See this is my thing like everyone else there are childhood issues mine is not growing up with out a father he died in a house fire. So i work with kids i've been a coach for all my childrens sports and feel like kids grow up in situations out of their control. As far as comments i get that , but i was wrapped up in the moment of typing. I've seen both sides i watched kids with destructive parents and kids with loving parents. I just feel a certain way.

Sure go get your swerve on . I got it out of my system when i was your age i did all the partying and all that fun stuff. I was just say watch how you say things. like someone else said on here life has a way at doing stuff.