Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

[Bornindamecca]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Who's talking about partying? That's the second time I've seen someone assume that people want some frivolous distraction to substitute for children. I spend most of my wonderful childless existence fulfilling a lifelong dream. I could care less about parties, TV or Facebook or whatever it is parents think childless adults spend their time doing. Some people party, some don't. Has nothing to do with whether or not you have children. Children restrict when and where you can party, but not "if".

For me, the two most important aspects of not having to put time and attention into children are being able to work on self improvement, and being able to go wherever my career takes me. Already, that has afforded me more than one great opportunity that parents in my field have had to forsake. It's not a right or wrong thing, or an issue of more or less moral value, nor is it an issue of maturity. It's a personal choice that you have to live up to no matter which way you go.

I just made this thread because from time to time, I find myself doing a little when faced with the contrast to my personal choice.

[chance]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Yea I am right now at this point in life.

[Hova57]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Who's talking about partying? That's the second time I've seen someone assume that people want some frivolous distraction to substitute for children. I spend most of my wonderful childless existence fulfilling a lifelong dream. I could care less about parties, TV or Facebook or whatever it is parents think childless adults spend their time doing. Some people party, some don't. Has nothing to do with whether or not you have children. Children restrict when and where you can party, but not "if".

For me, the two most important aspects of not having to put time and attention into children are being able to work on self improvement, and being able to go wherever my career takes me. Already, that has afforded me more than one great opportunity that parents in my field have had to forsake. It's not a right or wrong thing, or an issue of more or less moral value, nor is it an issue of maturity. It's a personal choice that you have to live up to no matter which way you go.

I just made this thread because from time to time, I find myself doing a little when faced with the contrast to my personal choice.

i was directly saying that you party but in general that happens with most. That's cool you get to live out your life dream i have no beef with that nor do i want or need to get into a verbal battle bout your life or anyone elses. you are 100% correct that there are somethings in life that makes it much easier not having kids and the issues that come with them. I'm sure your parents are proud of you . those are personal sacrifices you had to make. I'm just saying becoming a parent is just a big sacrifice as to not having any. I thought at first you were just young and dumb but i read your other post i know that wasn't the case, but you have to understand to see the title of the thread it interest me and upsets me at the same time being a father.

[WazzuRC]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

My girlfriend and I are 25 and will most likely be married in 2 years. Honestly, I can't wait to have kids with her. We'll probably wait until we're 32-33 and enjoy married life for a few years without kids, but after that I'm really excited to eventually have them.

I grew up an only child and hated never having brothers or sisters. Outside of my parents, I get along with maybe 5 other family members (this includes aunt's, uncle's, cousins, etc.) and I've always wanted a bigger family.

[JBH3]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Who's talking about partying? That's the second time I've seen someone assume that people want some frivolous distraction to substitute for children. I spend most of my wonderful childless existence fulfilling a lifelong dream. I could care less about parties, TV or Facebook or whatever it is parents think childless adults spend their time doing. Some people party, some don't. Has nothing to do with whether or not you have children. Children restrict when and where you can party, but not "if".

For me, the two most important aspects of not having to put time and attention into children are being able to work on self improvement, and being able to go wherever my career takes me. Already, that has afforded me more than one great opportunity that parents in my field have had to forsake. It's not a right or wrong thing, or an issue of more or less moral value, nor is it an issue of maturity. It's a personal choice that you have to live up to no matter which way you go.

I just made this thread because from time to time, I find myself doing a little when faced with the contrast to my personal choice.

Still though...most of what you want to accomplish is self-centered right?

Won't you at some point in time want to give yourself to something that doesn't serve your own personal gain?

[Bornindamecca]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Still though...most of what you want to accomplish is self-centered right?

Won't you at some point in time want to give yourself to something that doesn't serve your own personal gain?

Re:2nd question Absolutely. I've already inquired about the big brother program and plan to give seminars to kids who want a creative career. I've already done some teaching, and I'll be speaking to a class in upstate New York this October.

Re:1st question This goes without saying, as 99.9 percent of the population engages in a majority of self serving activities, which is a necessity for both literal and abstract survival.

[Dice]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Speaking from personal experience, I'm 37 years old and I'm glad that I didn't have kids in my 20's. I'm glad I stayed single in my 20's. The 20's for me was a wild time AND having kids or being married would have messed me up now. I probably would have been divorced if I got married in my 20's.

As I turned the corner into my 30's things started to change for me and I matured as a person. I started to realize that the stuff I was doing was not for me as I got older and jumping from woman to woman was a taxing experience. So I got married at 32 and had my first child at 35. 35 years old was the perfect time for me to have a child, a little girl I might add.

And my daughter gave me a love that I've never experienced before. I know it sounds corny BUT it's how I feel about her. If I had her in my 20's it would have been a mess. I was trying to do too much during that time. BUT NOW, I have a stable career and outside of going to work I prefer to come home and spend time with my daughter.

So if you would have asked me 8+ years ago, I would have told you yes.

[quaziemoto3]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm 30 years old and am absolutely thrilled that I don't have any children and I sleep extremely well at night knowing that I never will. A simple doctor's office visit a couple years ago took care of that!

Just like my man Born says, there are way too many people on this planet and not nearly enough resources to go around. Every time another child is born in this country, we all get a little bit poorer monetarily and resource-wise.

Plus, I just love the fact that I can go where I want, when I want, for as long as I want and not have to worry about any responsibilities. I'm 90% self-employed with a house that is already paid off and all of my utility bills are on auto pay. If I wanted to take off on an impromptu trip to Vegas tomorrow and stay for a month, I could. If you were married and had kids I guess you could do that but you would be a pretty lousy parent.

I've been with the same girl for years and she is anti-marriage and anti-procreation just as I am. We don't need a piece of paper to prove our bond with one another and we don't need any offspring to make our existences worthwhile.

Spoiler

Plus, I have always absolutely despised children with every fiber of my being for a multitude of reasons I am not even going to begin to get into here just so all of the parents on this forum don't throw a tantrum.

if I just could have read this post before making 2 mini-mes.

[ehh]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

For me, the two most important aspects of not having to put time and attention into children are being able to work on self improvement, and being able to go wherever my career takes me. Already, that has afforded me more than one great opportunity that parents in my field have had to forsake. It's not a right or wrong thing, or an issue of more or less moral value, nor is it an issue of maturity. It's a personal choice that you have to live up to no matter which way you go.

Yes indeed. I know exactly where I want to go and who I want to be. I even have a 5-year plan.

Working for a small business that I have equity in, my career is by far the biggest and most important thing in my life right now. It requires long hours, working at nights/weekends/etc if needed and being somewhere at the drop of a hat when I client needs us. But it is also more fun than I ever imagined a career could be. I love my job, love going to work every day and am blessed to (so far at least) not have any other knuckleheads in our small company. Now we just need to continue to grow and rake in the money. Our future is very exciting. Even one of the older guys said he's so happy that I'm "young, single and have no kids" because my it allows my level of commitment to the company to be at a high level with no possible distractions in sight. I plan on keeping it that way until we are quite successful financially.

What that all boils down to is the other thing that you mentioned, self-improvement. I want to be the best that I can be and I definitely want to be at a certain level of personal accomplishment before I even entertain the thought of having children. If I can't provide for them at the level I think is necessary (in terms of time, financially, etc) then I won't have kids. It's not fair to them.

[NDAlum]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I do not have time for a child. I can't imagine the stress one would bring into my life at this point in time.

[Bornindamecca]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I thought at first you were just young and dumb but i read your other post i know that wasn't the case, but you have to understand to see the title of the thread it interest me and upsets me at the same time being a father.

I cannot fathom why other people being happy about not having children would upset you as a father. It has no effect on your life, and is not a moral decision that goes against any known set of values.


Dice: Somewhere in the back of my head in my 20s, I thought that a switch would flip when I hit 30 if I was happy in my career. It's almost like the opposite has happened. The more successful I become, the happier I am that I never had kids. It's mine, all mine I tell ya! MINE!

[JBH3]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Re:2nd question Absolutely. I've already inquired about the big brother program and plan to give seminars to kids who want a creative career. I've already done some teaching, and I'll be speaking to a class in upstate New York this October.

Good. That's very humble of you.

Re:1st question This goes without saying, as 99.9 percent of the population engages in a majority of self serving activities, which is a necessity for both literal and abstract survival.

Hmm... that 99.9% engages in a majority of self-serving actitivies doesn't justify doing so. Whether or not it is a necessity is for another time...

[superjames1992]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm 18, so I am sure glad that I don't have any yet! That wouldn't be a good thing!

But in the future, I think I want kids, though that may be 10 years from now.

The problem is people who really can't afford or care for kids properly keep having them and all the people who could do a great job and afford it like many of you guys aren't. But that's a whole other topic right there.....

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[NDAlum]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Speaking from personal experience, I'm 37 years old and I'm glad that I didn't have kids in my 20's. I'm glad I stayed single in my 20's. The 20's for me was a wild time AND having kids or being married would have messed me up now. I probably would have been divorced if I got married in my 20's.

As I turned the corner into my 30's things started to change for me and I matured as a person. I started to realize that the stuff I was doing was not for me as I got older and jumping from woman to woman was a taxing experience. So I got married at 32 and had my first child at 35. 35 years old was the perfect time for me to have a child, a little girl I might add.

And my daughter gave me a love that I've never experienced before. I know it sounds corny BUT it's how I feel about her. If I had her in my 20's it would have been a mess. I was trying to do too much during that time. BUT NOW, I have a stable career and outside of going to work I prefer to come home and spend time with my daughter.

So if you would have asked me 8+ years ago, I would have told you yes.

This is the route I'd like to take. Mid-30's would be perfect for a child. My girlfriend is a teacher and wants children. Fortunately we're on the same page and she doesn't want them any time soon.

[Bornindamecca]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Yes indeed. I know exactly where I want to go and who I want to be. I even have a 5-year plan.

Working for a small business that I have equity in, my career is by far the biggest and most important thing in my life right now. It requires long hours, working at nights/weekends/etc if needed and being somewhere at the drop of a hat when I client needs us. But it is also more fun than I ever imagined a career could be. I love my job, love going to work every day and am blessed to (so far at least) not have any other knuckleheads in our small company. Now we just need to continue to grow and rake in the money. Our future is very exciting. Even one of the older guys said he's so happy that I'm "young, single and have no kids" because my it allows my level of commitment to the company to be at a high level with no possible distractions in sight. I plan on keeping it that way until we are quite successful financially.

What that all boils down to is the other thing that you mentioned, self-improvement. I want to be the best that I can be and I definitely want to be at a certain level of personal accomplishment before I even entertain the thought of having children. If I can't provide for them at the level I think is necessary (in terms of time, financially, etc) then I won't have kids. It's not fair to them.

Congrats, man! That's great to hear.