Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

[12]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I find it a little sad actually. I don't know why all the parents on this forum need to chime in here with every single cliche in the "kids are my life" book as to justify their lifestyle choices and degrade ours. Whatever helps them sleep at night over the choruses of crying infants is fine with me though.

I am honestly just asking... Who here has degraded people for not wanting kids? I respect the decision and said as much. I think a lot of other people do, too. If they don't, that's on them, but I've been reading this thread for a couple of days now and I've yet to see any degrading going on...

Calling a parent's feelings toward their kids "cliche" does seem a bit degrading, though. That last sentence was a bit callous as well, even with the wink emoticon.

Bottom line, no one has to justify why they did or didn't have kids... I know your thread gears toward the latter but really, everyone knew this thread was probably going to turn into a debate of some sorts.

[TimmeH]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm only 24, so I don't know if my opinion counts...

But myself and my gf basically have identical beliefs to what Dislimb mentioned about his relationship. We decided years ago we don't want marriage or kids. Four years later, neither of us have flinched on those beliefs.

I think part of my reasoning is I was by far the oldest of my brothers and sisters, and spent alot of time caring for my younger siblings. Changing diapers, feeding them, etc...I just don't have patience for kids. I think all the noise is what bothered me the most. Never a moment of silence. When they're happy, they running and jumping around, yelling and screaming, playing with obnoxious toys. When they're disgruntled, they're crying, screaming, and pouting. Ugh.

The other part is I'm selfish. I like money alot, and my money is mine to enjoy. And on top of that, to get my money, I spend well over 50 hours a week at my job. So I don't have much free time for kids as is, and the free time I do have, I want to myself to take care of myself, my belongings, and get some time for my own personal entertainment. It's nice to be able to do what I want, when I want.

I have nothing wrong with those who have kids. As long as you're a good parent, you go right ahead and have as many as you want. I understand why someone would want kids, and I understand the reprecussions I will face for not having kids(and yes, I believe their are reprecussions). But I will live with those reprecussions for the opportunity to live my day-to-day life as I want.


[Sorry, was that too "on topic" for this topic? lol]

[onlybygrace]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Upon wandering into this thread and then reading through the posts I was initially shocked and appalled. How could anybody be so self-centered to verbally announce the desire and happiness in not having children? I didn't respond thank goodness after my initial reaction.

After thinking about many of these posts for a while, I realized that any person with the maturity to make such a comment should be applauded. See, being an elementary school teacher I continually see the result of those "adults" that never gave a mature thought into procreation. Procreating was like getting a puppy..."they're cute, and it will be a blast." Raising a child is not like raising a puppy.

With tounge in cheek, I have commented many times that this country should require a license for a person to have a child. Instead, I wish that every person could be as many of you, honest. Imagine what could come of that?

Well said...

I'm 30 and adopted my 4-year old son, raising him since he was three months old as though he were my own flesh and blood before my daughter was born just a couple years ago.

Just to make sure it gets said...

as a guy, I'm not sure there is any love stronger than the love you have for a daughter. It's the best. So sure...be cautious, but don't rob yourself either.

[Scottdau]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm only 24, so I don't know if my opinion counts...

But myself and my gf basically have identical beliefs to what Dislimb mentioned about his relationship. We decided years ago we don't want marriage or kids. Four years later, neither of us have flinched on those beliefs.

I think part of my reasoning is I was by far the oldest of my brothers and sisters, and spent alot of time caring for my younger siblings. Changing diapers, feeding them, etc...I just don't have patience for kids. I think all the noise is what bothered me the most. Never a moment of silence. When they're happy, they running and jumping around, yelling and screaming, playing with obnoxious toys. When they're disgruntled, they're crying, screaming, and pouting. Ugh.

The other part is I'm selfish. I like money alot, and my money is mine to enjoy. And on top of that, to get my money, I spend well over 50 hours a week at my job. So I don't have much free time for kids as is, and the free time I do have, I want to myself to take care of myself, my belongings, and get some time for my own personal entertainment. It's nice to be able to do what I want, when I want.

I have nothing wrong with those who have kids. As long as you're a good parent, you go right ahead and have as many as you want. I understand why someone would want kids, and I understand the reprecussions I will face for not having kids(and yes, I believe their are reprecussions). But I will live with those reprecussions for the opportunity to live my day-to-day life as I want.


[Sorry, was that too "on topic" for this topic? lol]

There is nothing wrong with that. Having kids is not for everyone. I respect your decision. I can't respect your decision on not getting married, but that would be against TOS if I said why. But I respect you and you seem like a good guy. Good luck in life. What do you do for a living? I am mean 50 hours is a lot of time on the job. I work about 32 hours a week, but get paid for basically 40 hours.

[buckeye02]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm only 24, so I don't know if my opinion counts...

But myself and my gf basically have identical beliefs to what Dislimb mentioned about his relationship. We decided years ago we don't want marriage or kids. Four years later, neither of us have flinched on those beliefs.

I think part of my reasoning is I was by far the oldest of my brothers and sisters, and spent alot of time caring for my younger siblings. Changing diapers, feeding them, etc...I just don't have patience for kids. I think all the noise is what bothered me the most. Never a moment of silence. When they're happy, they running and jumping around, yelling and screaming, playing with obnoxious toys. When they're disgruntled, they're crying, screaming, and pouting. Ugh.

The other part is I'm selfish. I like money alot, and my money is mine to enjoy. And on top of that, to get my money, I spend well over 50 hours a week at my job. So I don't have much free time for kids as is, and the free time I do have, I want to myself to take care of myself, my belongings, and get some time for my own personal entertainment. It's nice to be able to do what I want, when I want.

I have nothing wrong with those who have kids. As long as you're a good parent, you go right ahead and have as many as you want. I understand why someone would want kids, and I understand the reprecussions I will face for not having kids(and yes, I believe their are reprecussions). But I will live with those reprecussions for the opportunity to live my day-to-day life as I want.


[Sorry, was that too "on topic" for this topic? lol]

Dude......we should go get some beers or something. This is exactly word for word how i feel.

[Jonesy]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I was watching Scrubs today and something that Carla said made me think of this thread.

Carla: "Dr Cox said having a child is awesome. It's like having a dog that slowly learns to talk"

[JBH3]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I find it a little sad actually. I don't know why all the parents on this forum need to chime in here with every single cliche in the "kids are my life" book as to justify their lifestyle choices and degrade ours. Whatever helps them sleep at night over the choruses of crying infants is fine with me though.

Actually no one degraded your decision. I asked Born questions of:

"Most of what you want to accomplish is self-centered right?"

"Won't you at some point in time want to give yourself to something that doesn't serve your own personal gain?"

Thats not degrading. I don't see really where anyone degraded anyone, and who are you to call out someone that they're being cliche without knowing their true feelings. Its really just an overall feeling...like crques...I'm the same way with how I feel about my son. I wouldn't change any decision I ever made in my life because doing so would compromise what I've already found...my wife and son.

What does this have to do with what I said lol. Just said I'm tired of ages being thrown around, not saying folks are ready...just saying I think folks should stop saying 25-35 or whatever is the time to have kids and if you're 21 you're too young, etc.

The point was very few have kids nowadays when they're ready, willing, or able. Some have kids when they think they're ready, and then are not willing to come through on the requirements of being a parent. A lot have kids when they're not ready, and others are ready and willing but not able (financially) to provide a suitable existence, or are physically unable (given their age) to meet the demands of raising a child from 0yrs-18yrs.

It's cool. Anyone immature and uptight enough to get all bent out of shape and lash out over one person's comments on the internet probably isn't a good parent that is going to instill positive values in their children anyway.

Dude......we should go get some beers or something. This is exactly word for word how i feel.

Sounds like he is asking you on a date dislimb.

Dislimb is on fire!

I still am flabbergasted than any parent feels the need to come into this thread and be threatened by any comments in here. No one is saying that people shouldn't have kids, and no one is attacking anyone's children. It speaks to something that the very thought of people being happy and enjoying a childless existence would ruffle feathers. That says more about their choices than ours.

It's also interesting when people assume that filling the "void" of not having a child includes frivolous activities. On the flip side, I'd love to see how a lot of these parents approach their career, and what activities they either engage in, or have planned to help the world outside of their family. Not saying that they do or don't, just that I would like to see what those activities/plans/careers are if they exist at all.

I spent years 18-23 serving our country in the Marine Corps. What did you do w/ that time? I now serve our Federal Govt., and work alongside the Marine Corps as a DOD Civ.

Life Mon-Fri:

0600-0700: Get ready for work, get son ready for daycare. Wife is a teacher and gets son ready in summer, but leaves before I do so I have to get him dressed/fed during school year.

0700-0800: Drive to work is 20 minutes. Takes son to daycare which is on base. At work by 8 or 8:15.

0800-1630: Work.

1630-1700: Drive home.

1700-1800: I cook dinner. Wife entertains son.

1800-1900: I take son outside for quality time w/ dad.

1900-2000: Wife gives son bath, reads son a bedtime story, and puts son down to bed.

In the summer the time varies, and we let our son stay up a little later... till around 930/1000pm since he doesn't go to daycare everyday in the summer, just 2-3 days a week. After all...Mommy needs a break from teaching all the horrible kids...or rather horrible parent's kids.

Saturday and Sunday is frankly our time to relax, and enjoy each other. Spend quality time as a family etc. Because Mon-Fri I'm doing my best to ensure the Marine Corps is being a good steward to our tax dollars, and during the school year my wife is teaching kids. We do enough through the week to qualify for serving the common good. Our jobs, while they pay us, do not serve our own personal interests.

[NDAlum]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

After all...Mommy needs a break from teaching all the horrible kids...or rather horrible parent's kids.

My girlfriend is a teacher and this is exactly how it goes. For the majority, bad parents bring up bad children. It's terrible for the kids!

With my job I deal with both parents & children unfortunately. I'm not at liberty to discuss what happened last night but it probably skews my outlook on having children. I just don't know if I want to bring them into this world.

Give me 10 years to see what direction this country goes in!

[deaduck]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

From a practicality stand point...I do get annoyed at Tax time when the wife and I don't get a whole lot back because we don't have dependents/kids.

Shouldn't there be a tax credit for NOT using the public education system?

[Bellsprout]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

"Most of what you want to accomplish is self-centered right?"

Thats not degrading.

Really? I sort of think it is. You're basically calling everyone who doesn't have kids self-centered by asking that. And while you may view us as self-centered, to question the life decision of others and to call those people self-centered feels degrading to me.

You don't see any of us questioning why you had kids.

[12]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Really? I sort of think it is. You're basically calling everyone who doesn't have kids self-centered by asking that. And while you may view us as self-centered, to question the life decision of others and to call those people self-centered feels degrading to me.

You don't see any of us questioning why you had kids.

Self-centered is not always a bad thing. I don't fault people for looking out for themselves.

Just because someone chooses not to have kids does not mean that they are self-centered. If they are, then people who choose to have kids are self-centered, too. I want kids for selfish reasons (my happiness).

I don't look at his question as a putdown and I don't think anyone else should, either.

[l3ulvl]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

It took me an hour but I finally read all the posts in this thread...

I'm 27 and am not the same person I was in my early teens. My situation is a bit different though. In my youth, I always envisioned having kids, and having them at an early age. Then I suffered a series of head injuries in my teens.

I'm a completely different person now, I don't have a girl, but I have a female roommate (not romantic). I don't have a job, I do collect social security. Finally, I don't have a life. I don't go out with friends or to bars, I'm at home every day, all day. The only time I leave is to go to the store with my roommate. She's my transportation and I rely on her for that, and also for making phone calls for me since I have developed a weird phone phobia where I can't talk on phones, even if I get my words out without losing my voice I literally cannot remember a word I said or heard.

Basically my life consists of sitting at home all day watching sports, and playing sports video games.

When my roommate tells her friends and family about my situation, they assume I'm some kinda disfigured ogre, like I'm the hunchback of notre dame. When they see me they're always shocked to see that I'm not that way at all. She always tells me how they react after I go back to my room, "THAT'S HIM????"

I cannot even fathom having a child now. I'm at the point where it would be the ultimate failure. I've always heard ppl talk about how great kids are and it always struck me as them trying to suck me into their hell. I know I'm a special case but this thread was way more in depth than I expected and I wanted to throw my own situation in to show that it's not always about selfishness. I have "chosen" to be abstinent for the past 3 years because I am not fit to be a father and the only true birth control is simply not having sex.

I have a hard enough time looking after the roommates dog when she's at work (she's a teacher), it would be a total disaster if I was actually in charge of a human life lol.

[12]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

It took me an hour but I finally read all the posts in this thread...

I'm 27 and am not the same person I was in my early teens. My situation is a bit different though. In my youth, I always envisioned having kids, and having them at an early age. Then I suffered a series of head injuries in my teens.

I'm a completely different person now, I don't have a girl, but I have a female roommate (not romantic). I don't have a job, I do collect social security. Finally, I don't have a life. I don't go out with friends or to bars, I'm at home every day, all day. The only time I leave is to go to the store with my roommate. She's my transportation and I rely on her for that, and also for making phone calls for me since I have developed a weird phone phobia where I can't talk on phones, even if I get my words out without losing my voice I literally cannot remember a word I said or heard.

Basically my life consists of sitting at home all day watching sports, and playing sports video games.

When my roommate tells her friends and family about my situation, they assume I'm some kinda disfigured ogre, like I'm the hunchback of notre dame. When they see me they're always shocked to see that I'm not that way at all. She always tells me how they react after I go back to my room, "THAT'S HIM????"

I cannot even fathom having a child now. I'm at the point where it would be the ultimate failure. I've always heard ppl talk about how great kids are and it always struck me as them trying to suck me into their hell. I know I'm a special case but this thread was way more in depth than I expected and I wanted to throw my own situation in to show that it's not always about selfishness. I have "chosen" to be abstinent for the past 3 years because I am not fit to be a father and the only true birth control is simply not having sex.

I have a hard enough time looking after the roommates dog when she's at work (she's a teacher), it would be a total disaster if I was actually in charge of a human life lol.

I find the bolded part offensive. Hell?

I would ignore the people who think that not having kids is selfish. To me, it's the complete opposite. It's responsible.

[l3ulvl]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I find the bolded part offensive. Hell?

I would ignore the people who think that not having kids is selfish. To me, it's the complete opposite. It's responsible.

I guess what I'm saying is I've seen my sister have a child and it affected her very negatively, and then my best friend had twins and the same thing happened. Their lives individually have both fallen apart and yet they suggest to me that it's time to get back on the horse, find a good woman and have my own kid.... but why would I want to put myself in that situation. They are completely miserable!

[JBH3]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Those saying I was offensive need to go back a couple pages and start at post 80 (quoted Born post and my respons).

Get it in context. There's nothing wrong w/ that question, and I agree with Apostle that not having kids would be considered responsible.

Oh...and looking out for yourself and being self-centered aren't bad? So is Apostle pushing away women and children like George Costanza when he sees a fire?