Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

[55]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Sometimes...don't you wish there was no T.O.S?

Not really. Imagine the Madden/NCAA forums!

You guys should just get on meebo and cuss each other out til blue in the face and call it a day!

Not my style. If I were to do something like that then I would be setting a bad example for my chil... wait! Nevermind.

[The GIGGAS]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm 23 and as of now, would prefer to adopt an 8-9 year old and not have to deal with the craziness of diapers and baby food at 4am.

Honestly, I understand when people adopt and it's great... but my personal problem is that even though it's my child... It's not my genes. I get the whole inability to have a child angle... but if I am able to have my own children, I'm going to.

I'm not projecting this onto you, of course, I'm just being ignorant and such, but that's my feeling about adoption. If my fiancee ends up being barren, though, we'd definitely go that way, I'm sure.

[JBH3]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Not really. Imagine the Madden/NCAA forums!

We'll just have to settle our differences in the OS Supporters 2nd NCAA OD.

[NDAlum]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Honestly, I understand when people adopt and it's great... but my personal problem is that even though it's my child... It's not my genes. I get the whole inability to have a child angle... but if I am able to have my own children, I'm going to.

I'm not projecting this onto you, of course, I'm just being ignorant and such, but that's my feeling about adoption. If my fiancee ends up being barren, though, we'd definitely go that way, I'm sure.

Would you consider this being self-centered?

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm 23 and as of now, would prefer to adopt an 8-9 year old and not have to deal with the craziness of diapers and baby food at 4am.

I have no kids and not married, but I've honestly thought about it. When the time comes.....have one kid of my own and few years later adopt another (3-4 year old).

[JBH3]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Would you consider this being self-centered?

No.

I think anyone who adopts though is a person of strong character. Personally, I would much rather exhaust every way possible in order to have my own flesh and blood brought into this world. My wife and I had considere adopting after our first pregnancy was a miscarriage. Its something that we've glazed over since having our son; both of us would like to be a positive factor in children's lives since we both have a big heart for them.

[l3ulvl]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Would you consider this being self-centered?

I wouldn't think so. To me, if given a choice between raising a child consisting of your (and your girlfriend/wife/or other's) genes or those of other people, it seems only natural to choose the child with your own dna.

I have nothing against adoption, but I think it's more of a backup plan. Not all people feel that way, but the vast majority would most likely choose to conceive their own.

[The GIGGAS]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I was actually going to go ahead and admit to being self-centered on that, but it seems like you guys made much better arguments than I could.

[Jonesy]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

Great post back there Lt. Dan.

I thought your post was well thought out, but the impression I got from the jump was that those "glad" to not have kids felt a need to throw it in my face that they enjoy this "burden-free life", as they would put it.

However, then when folks would say how much more they love their life w/ kids, and how much better it has made them...or how they couldn't imagine ther lives w/o their families, then folks like dislimb and a few others were callous and rude w/ their posts. Saying those are just 'cliche' or canned responses from parents in an otherwise state of denial.

Yea...I'm glad people made responsible decisions NOT to have kids, but to boast in a thread about it, then knockdown others feelings once a contingency of people start reacting pro-parenthood is just petty and pathetic.

The thing is people who are 'anti-children' such as Dislimb and Born simply can't know what it's like to be on the other side whereas we can. I know what it is like to have all the free time in the world, to have no obligations and to be able to do what i want when i want. I did that for 28 years. They simply cannot know what it is like to have your own child. It truly is something you can't understand how good it is until you experience it yourself. I'm far from an emotional guy but i'm happy to admit i cried with joy the first time i held me newborn daughter in my arms. That may be cliche but its the truth. I wasn't expecting it at all and i'm not the type of guy who normally cries for any reason but i simply couldn't help it.

I totally agree that people shouldn't be pressured into having children and really should not have them unless they are 100% committed but for the guys who are celebrating their 'freedom' you really don't know what you are missing out on as well.

[12]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

The thing is people who are 'anti-children' such as Dislimb and Born simply can't know what it's like to be on the other side whereas we can. I know what it is like to have all the free time in the world, to have no obligations and to be able to do what i want when i want. I did that for 28 years. They simply cannot know what it is like to have your own child. It truly is something you can't understand how good it is until you experience it yourself. I'm far from an emotional guy but i'm happy to admit i cried with joy the first time i held me newborn daughter in my arms. That may be cliche but its the truth. I wasn't expecting it at all and i'm not the type of guy who normally cries for any reason but i simply couldn't help it.

I totally agree that people shouldn't be pressured into having children and really should not have them unless they are 100% committed but for the guys who are celebrating their 'freedom' you really don't know what you are missing out on as well.

Best. Post. Ever.

Us and our damn cliches... Our kids making us cry the first time we meet them... Like you said, it's something that only a proud parent could understand. I don't, nor will I ever, fault a person for choosing not to have kids. It's a very responsible decision and one that makes us a ton of sense.

But in the end, having or not having kids is a personal decision that does not deserve judgment from anyone.

[12]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm 43 and I have a son from my previous marriage, and married in to four more kids for a total of five. My son lives with us. When I moved here to be with my wife, the kids were 9, 12, 14 and 15 (this was in 2003) and my son was 8, so I've experienced a lot of drama and teen angst since then LOL.

I love all the kids as my own, but I have a full respect for those who choose not to have kids.

Further, I congratulate them for being responsible enough to recognize they don't want kids at this time (or ever, in some cases). People who have kids to try to 'fix' their marriage or just think it would be fun are doing the kids and themselves a dis-service, in my opinion.

Kids are great, but they are not a requirement for a happy, fulfilling life, no matter what anyone says. Everyone has their own lifestyle and point of view. I have a sister and a female friend, both over forty, that have no kids and no desire to HAVE kids. Their lifestyles are very busy, social, on-the-go, and they love their freedom and spending time with their husbands. I think they are very wise to recognize it, and it works for them, no regrets on their part.

Me? Truthfully, I was happy with no kids, and generally didn't want to be a father. But my ex-wife was absolutely gung-ho to be a mom so we had one, then I said "we can't do any better than this kid" and got a vasectomy. Little did I know what the future would bring. Almost 11 years later, we divorced.

You can't really control who you fall in love with, and I fell for my current wife, four kids and all. Now, with HER, if we had gotten together back in the day I would have wanted to have two kids, max...THEN I would have gotten fixed LOL.

Kids are hard, hard, hard work, and if they are difficult they can drain years away from you at double-time, no joke. Once you have kids, your life is no longer your own, they always have to come first (especially when they are young). A kid is an 18 year commitment.

On the other hand, kids can be quite a source of amusement and entertainment, and "I love you, Daddy" always sounds great (except when it's in the "I want something" tone).

Personally, I'm not the parenting type. I get highly highly stressed over the kids, because I'm a worrier, and I love them all. My natural son is a mini-me, so he actually causes me no stress because he's laid back and doesn't look for trouble. The other four have tempers and other qualities which make them more difficult, which I won't go into. Every school year feels like two or three years to me. I feel every moment of every day, time does not go by quickly during the school year.

How about now? Well, the oldest is 22 and currently is a baker living in Kentucky. She wants to move back to Memphis though, just because she loves it here so is in town for job interviews. She might live with us for a month or two until she gets her own apartment.

The 21 year old son is a Marine, stationed in San Diego (Pendleton). He's done with his service in about a year and six months and will either re-up or go to school.

The 19 year old is living in Wisconsin working at a daycare and she loves it up there.

The youngest boys are still at home with us, one is going to be a HS junior this year, the other a HS sophomore. I am absolutely LIVING for the last HS graduation and then I can exhale. They are great kids though.

So, having kids is a personal decision. For any of you guys or gals here that get hard-timed by your in-laws for a grandkid (or another one), or hard-timed by your married-with-kids friends to have kids, do what YOU as a couple want to do. If that's no kids, then so be it and the anxious in-laws and married-with-kids friends and family will have to deal with your decision.

Apologies for my long post.

Probably the best post I've ever read at OS.

[joshuar9476]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

i was always one of those guys who felt strange just being around kids ... but once i had them, it was like instinctive. i was 31 when my first son was born and am now a proud father of two at 34. my only regret is that i didn't have them at 24 so that i could keep up with their energy and have an extra 10 years of our lives together ...

[UNC_Pete]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I'm 26 and have a 7 month old son. I'll just reiterate that you have no idea what it feels like to be a parent until you are one. The stuff that matters in your life before children won't matter as much afterwards.

[Bornindamecca]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

"You have no idea what it's like to have your own, it just changes you. It changes everything."

Yeah, yeah, we get it. I brought up that issue long ago, and we've addressed it. If I had a child, I would be happy with my child and I'd relish the challenge of being a great dad.

That's not the issue.

The issue is that on the other side of the equation, I'm happy that I don't. That doesn't mean I'm throwing eggs at family vans as they pass by. It's just when I see people with children and the way their lives have changed for those children, I'm very very happy that my life hasn't turned into that. I'm a very ambitious person who's into a lot of different things that take up my time. Fact of the matter is I'd have to give a lot of that up if I were to have children. I've seen other people give it up. I don't feel sorry for them, of course, but at the same time I do a little touchdown dance in my head when I see the parenthood derail people's life goals.

It's not in doubt that having my own child would change me. The point is that is not a change that I welcome, and I'm happy to be driving in my lane, in my motorcycle passing the minivans and flashing the devil symbol while on my way to doing non-parent stuff.

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: Anybody else glad that they DON'T have kids?

I thought your post was well thought out, but the impression I got from the jump was that those "glad" to not have kids felt a need to throw it in my face that they enjoy this "burden-free life", as they would put it.

However, then when folks would say how much more they love their life w/ kids, and how much better it has made them...or how they couldn't imagine ther lives w/o their families, then folks like dislimb and a few others were callous and rude w/ their posts. Saying those are just 'cliche' or canned responses from parents in an otherwise state of denial.

Yea...I'm glad people made responsible decisions NOT to have kids, but to boast in a thread about it, then knockdown others feelings once a contingency of people start reacting pro-parenthood is just petty and pathetic.

I understand what you're saying. I should add that my post was based more off the title of the thread than supporting bashers on either side of the issue, I admit I didn't read many of the posts. I was stating my own position on the subject.

Probably the best post I've ever read at OS.

Thank you, I'm glad it didn't come across as a blather LOL.

Thank you as well, Jonesy!