Worst Day of MY Life

[PVarck31]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Don't let other people get the best of you. Your neighbor is not worth any of your time if he or she didn't even give any condolences.

You find out who's really there for you when you're going through the worst times.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2

Exactly.

One of the best things you can do right now is to tune out all the people who don't care about you and tune in all the people who do.

I'm not sure if anyone asked, but you doing any sort of grief counseling?

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

We are all in counseling as a matter of fact we were in counseling when my daughter passed away. She had been having some issues at school nothing major just some attention getting stuff. Side not my wife and just got married in April. So we were doing family counseling just to be on the safe side.

The group was only supposed to be 8 weeks and had gone from a dozen families down to 4. Once they found out what was going on the all voted to extend the session to help us get through. They have also offered us unlimited one on one counseling for me and my wife. All of this has been offered to us free of charge.

I have been writing a journal of my thoughts and fears ad as way of trying to deal with this nightmare and also to "talk" to my daughter. Things are better some days and some days they aren't. I have cried everyday since it happened but I have had days of good thoughts and memories as well. MY friends and family have really gotten behind me to help me thru this.

The toughest part right now is not knowing what happened. The M.E. has said it could be up to 6 months before we know what happened. That is just so hard to deal with.

I have been out of work since September with my own health issues and now things are getting really tight financially. So now I have to start looking for work while I am trying to deal with this, but I think I can handle it.

Anyway thanks for everything guys I really appreciate it. You have all been so caring and helpful and I hope you know that you are all appreciated by everybody in my family.

Thank you and bless you all.

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

You are doing all the right things, Bullit. And I'd be surprised if you weren't shedding some tears each day...think of it as a release valve for your emotions. It's a natural part of coping and it'll get better. I'm glad to hear you are still writing too.

As to a job, man I think it's not a bad idea to go ahead and start looking. It gets you out of the house and into society which is good, and will boost your self-worth and lessen your stress to be working again. Maybe start part time for now?

Good luck, and we're here for you.

[slickdtc]

Still checking in every day, Bullit.

Good to hear you're writing, in counseling, and dealing with this tragedy as best as you can.

Working could help. I know when I've been through rough times, working preoccupies your time. Funny how that is: work can steal your life away or distract you from the problems of your life outside of the time-clock.

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Thanks guys I really appreciate your thoughts and advice, especially just being here and letting me talk.

I think that, besides the obvious, my biggest problems now are lack of sleep, stress and anxiety. I have started having these "anxiety" attacks lately. I have always stressed about my health a bit as I got older I was always worried about dropping dead for no apparent reason. Now that it has happened with my daughter it has kind of brought all of that back t the surface.

But on the brighter side I seem to be handling better now than I have in the past. I have stayed off any meds and have been just calming down and working my way thru it. So this to shall pass.

My wife told me to tell you all hi, and that she appreciates you all keeping an eye on me.

Thanks again

[dickey1331]

I just now saw this and wanted To say you and your family are in my prayers. Stay strong.


Do you really care where I sent this from?

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Good morning all,

I am having a rough one today. Serious anxiety attack and just hurt. Feel so sad and just confused and scared.

I miss her so much and today is just one the days that I think is going to be minute by minute. I have never experienced such overwhelming pain and grief. I know that it is all normal to feel this way in the logical part of my brain. But the other part of my brain is just a wreck. Today is just a day i think I am going to need help to make it thru.

Heading out for a walk, see if that helps

Back from the walk and Qb sent me a video had a nice little breakdown and feeling a bit better. Sometimes a good cry is the best medicine.

[DaveDQ]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Bullit, I struggle with anxiety. Last year I was a mess, thinking the worst and fearing so many things. In no way have I been through what you have, and I can not imagine the intense feelings of anxiety that you may get.

Just last night though I was feeling anxious again. From finances to family to health, things started to crash in. I did some reading and read where it says, "And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?

I can't tell you how many times I've heard that and read it. But this time the part about "if then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?" really hit me. Sometimes we allow things to overwhelm us with anxiety and we have zero control over it. We put crazy amounts of pressure on ourselves to resolve things we just can't resolve.

Getting worked up about something does not do anything. The problem is still there and we have not given ourselves any benefit. Should we be concerned, yes..of course. But, getting anxious about things we can't control only cripples us in our lives. It robs us of our freedom. We don't move forward because we are afraid and anxious about what may happen.

I've been talking about praying for you and I will be more specific for freedom in your life. I will pray that you begin to develop peace and that you will operate your day to day life in freedom, not being burdened by fear of what might be.

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Made it thru another week without my Cricket. Another week ahead. Miss her so much. Have had a few not so dark days. Going to tryvto start looking for work this week and get some exercise.

Thanks for letting me talk, appreciate you all.

[ubernoob]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Made it thru another week without my Cricket. Another week ahead. Miss her so much. Have had a few not so dark days. Going to tryvto start looking for work this week and get some exercise.

Thanks for letting me talk, appreciate you all.

We're here for you always man. Even if it's just random venting. Life isn't a sprint, and things will get better, even if it's a struggle and takes a lot of time. Still praying for you, brother.

[Matt10]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Praying for you every single day, man. Everytime I'm driving listening to klove, you and your family are in our heart. Got my church praying for you too, brother - we are here for you.

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Well today is something I did not expect. First let me give some background. My Cricket helped teach Sunday school at Church and her favorite class was the little kids, 5-10 years old. Out of any given month she would only attend the service itself once the rest of the time she would be teaching.

When the shooting s happened in NewTown, Conn. my first image, almost instantly, was of my daughter waiting in Heaven for these poor children.

So last night I had a dream of my Cricket. She was standing with a bunch of children next to a white school bus helping them get organized and on the buses. I got a chance to hold her tight and tell her I loved her and then I woke up.

So you can interpret this any way you like as I know how I am interpreting it. My Cricket is safe and sound in Heaven, doing things she loved to do and helping other children. She knows that I love her and it will be ok. So today I have been crying alot and feel very fragile. But I also feel a little better and the world is not as dark as it was yesterday.

Thank you

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Well today is something I did not expect. First let me give some background. My Cricket helped teach Sunday school at Church and her favorite class was the little kids, 5-10 years old. Out of any given month she would only attend the service itself once the rest of the time she would be teaching.

When the shooting s happened in NewTown, Conn. my first image, almost instantly, was of my daughter waiting in Heaven for these poor children.

So last night I had a dream of my Cricket. She was standing with a bunch of children next to a white school bus helping them get organized and on the buses. I got a chance to hold her tight and tell her I loved her and then I woke up.

So you can interpret this any way you like as I know how I am interpreting it. My Cricket is safe and sound in Heaven, doing things she loved to do and helping other children. She knows that I love her and it will be ok. So today I have been crying alot and feel very fragile. But I also feel a little better and the world is not as dark as it was yesterday.

Thank you

That is fantastic, and I'm a believer that was no coincidence.

God bless you and your Cricket.

[Qb]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Well... I'm crying a little. Wonderful stuff, man!

[Blzer]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Well today is something I did not expect. First let me give some background. My Cricket helped teach Sunday school at Church and her favorite class was the little kids, 5-10 years old. Out of any given month she would only attend the service itself once the rest of the time she would be teaching.

When the shooting s happened in NewTown, Conn. my first image, almost instantly, was of my daughter waiting in Heaven for these poor children.

So last night I had a dream of my Cricket. She was standing with a bunch of children next to a white school bus helping them get organized and on the buses. I got a chance to hold her tight and tell her I loved her and then I woke up.

So you can interpret this any way you like as I know how I am interpreting it. My Cricket is safe and sound in Heaven, doing things she loved to do and helping other children. She knows that I love her and it will be ok. So today I have been crying alot and feel very fragile. But I also feel a little better and the world is not as dark as it was yesterday.

Thank you

I'm telling you man, your dreams will become your blessings. However it is you imagine her, you can't help but wake up in the morning, recall that instance, and smile.

It at least put a big ****ing smile on my face. Best post I've read so far.