Worst Day of MY Life

[CWSapp757]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Happy Birthday Cricket.

[Nathan_OS]

Happy birthday Cricket

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Happy birthday, Cricket

She deserves a whole field of flowers

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

You guys are all amazing thank you so much. I am actually doing better than I thought I would. Trying to hold on to the good thoughts and memories.

Sometimes its rough just taking it minute by minute today

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Made it thru most of the day. Now I am stressing a bit and having anxiety. Im just struggling with everything tonight.

I have been trying to get by the stress/anxiety but it has been a struggle lately. Im hoping that once i get thru today it will start to get a little easier.I know I wont ever forget or and life is going to have to be different.

Anyway thank you all, I dont think I could have made it this far without you all.

Here's to a New Year

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Glad you are making it through, Bullit. It's always good to see you posting; good, bad, or otherwise.

The hurt will never completely go away, it's not really supposed to.

But each day you move through will feel less like 'surviving' and more like 'living'.

Cheers to Cricket.

[DaveDQ]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Sometimes I come back here, read what is written and start writing something of my own, but I don't want to just write anything.

Just want you to know I still pray and think about you.

[roadman]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Bullit:

Happy Birthday to Cricket.

I'm sure today was a difficult day to deal with, but you have family and friends that love, support and pray for your family.

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Ok feel like I am loosing my mind. I really feel like crud. Every little thing is just setting off my anxiety. As I mentioned before I have gone t my doctor just for a check up and my EKG was a little abnormal. The Doc said he was sure that it was just heartburn and GERD. But now every little twitch in my chest is setting me off that something bad is about to happen.

I know they are all physical signs of grief and stress but the other part of my mind is just loosing it. I just don't know what else to do. I wish that we knew what happened to my Cricket, but still no word from the ME. I think this is the root of all of my problems is not knowing.

Well I am going to sign of for a bit and see if I can calm down and get so sleep.

[seasprite]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers Bullit

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Ok feel like I am loosing my mind. I really feel like crud. Every little thing is just setting off my anxiety. As I mentioned before I have gone t my doctor just for a check up and my EKG was a little abnormal. The Doc said he was sure that it was just heartburn and GERD. But now every little twitch in my chest is setting me off that something bad is about to happen.

I know they are all physical signs of grief and stress but the other part of my mind is just loosing it. I just don't know what else to do. I wish that we knew what happened to my Cricket, but still no word from the ME. I think this is the root of all of my problems is not knowing.

Well I am going to sign of for a bit and see if I can calm down and get so sleep.

I agree with you. I think a lot of your problem is the not knowing what happened and it's really messing with your health.

Is there any chance of you going to pay the ME a visit personally? Not to be confrontational at all, but to just have a face-to-face with you and a personal request for all due speed in this investigation can't hurt...and might grease the gears a bit?

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

I agree with you. I think a lot of your problem is the not knowing what happened and it's really messing with your health.

Is there any chance of you going to pay the ME a visit personally? Not to be confrontational at all, but to just have a face-to-face with you and a personal request for all due speed in this investigation can't hurt...and might grease the gears a bit?

I just called her this morning, she has actually been very sweet and supportive. The last time we talked I thought she was going to cry. I am sure she will give me info when she has it.

I did find a support group here at home called The Compassionate Friends, its just for parents and the families that have lost a child. I broke down this morning really badly and told God that I could not handle this anymore and that I needed help. A few hours later I found this website and found they had a local group. I also think I finally began to let go as I found myself curled on the couch crying like I have never cried before for quite awhile. Maybe now that all of the Holidays are over I am just beginning to really accept what has happened. I know it sounds weird, but I think part of me still thought she would come home.

I don't know and I certainly dont understand , but I do know that I nee help and that is what I am trying to do.

Thanks Dan. Really appreciate you

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

I just called her this morning, she has actually been very sweet and supportive. The last time we talked I thought she was going to cry. I am sure she will give me info when she has it.

I did find a support group here at home called The Compassionate Friends, its just for parents and the families that have lost a child. I broke down this morning really badly and told God that I could not handle this anymore and that I needed help. A few hours later I found this website and found they had a local group. I also think I finally began to let go as I found myself curled on the couch crying like I have never cried before for quite awhile. Maybe now that all of the Holidays are over I am just beginning to really accept what has happened. I know it sounds weird, but I think part of me still thought she would come home.

I don't know and I certainly dont understand , but I do know that I nee help and that is what I am trying to do.

Thanks Dan. Really appreciate you

That's a great post in every way. It sounds like real progress to me on a lot of levels for you, man. I'm proud of you.

[roadman]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

I just called her this morning, she has actually been very sweet and supportive. The last time we talked I thought she was going to cry. I am sure she will give me info when she has it.

I did find a support group here at home called The Compassionate Friends, its just for parents and the families that have lost a child. I broke down this morning really badly and told God that I could not handle this anymore and that I needed help. A few hours later I found this website and found they had a local group. I also think I finally began to let go as I found myself curled on the couch crying like I have never cried before for quite awhile. Maybe now that all of the Holidays are over I am just beginning to really accept what has happened. I know it sounds weird, but I think part of me still thought she would come home.

I don't know and I certainly dont understand , but I do know that I nee help and that is what I am trying to do.

Thanks Dan. Really appreciate you

Bullit:

Thanks for the update.

I was praying you would find a support group. I was looking on the net for you, but I gave up as I didn't want to sound "pushy." I'm so happy you found it on your own.

This group will help as others are going through or have gone through the same feelings as you and your family are experiencing.

Best wishes with everything, health and mental state.

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Hey Guys,

Been doing pretty good lately. I have been dealing with my anxiety and stress a little better than I was. I am hesitant to say that I have turned a corner, but I would like to think I am doing better.

The group that I found doesn't meet until next Monday,but I am actually looking forward to it. I have realized that I need help with this and cannot do it alone. Even thought you guys are wonderful I need actually living, breathing people to talk to.

I have started exercising, I have walked everyday of the New Year!! Now that might not seem great to most people but I have been sidelined with bone spurs in both of my heels that have not allowed me to walk at all. I actually had to quit my job in September because I could not stand on my feet for 10 hours and not be in excruciating pain. So walking a mile a day is something for me to be excited about.

Now for the really fun news. I got a JOB!! well sort of. One of my best friends owns the local comic book store. His part time guy of 15 years has finally left and he has asked me to fill in 2 days a week. So at least it gets me out of the house and back to some resemblance of a life. Even better than that I get paid in comic books!!! how cool is that.

So I still miss my Cricket and my soul still aches, but I can feel life coming back and things are not so dark. I feel some Hope again and sometimes even catch myself thinking about tomorrow and not just today. You all deserve a lot of credit and I hope you all realize how much you have helped and meant to our family. Words cannot express how much I appreciate you all.

Thank you