Worst Day of MY Life

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  • ThaShark28_316
    Pro
    • Apr 2008
    • 692

    #211
    Re: Worst Day of MY Life

    I thought the same thing roadman said when it comes to some semblance of "closure".

    Be blessed, sir....you and the fam.

    To the folks that posted well wishes to Bullit; props to you all...awesome to see.
    Astros
    Texans
    Rockets
    Horns FBall
    Horns BBall
    Stars

    Comment

    • Jr.
      Playgirl Coverboy
      • Feb 2003
      • 19171

      #212
      Re: Worst Day of MY Life

      Bullit,

      I'm glad to see you're hanging in there. I haven't checked this thread since the new year and just got caught up. I'm glad for you that you heard the cause as I know that was a big weight on your shoulders. As others have said, I hope you can get some closure from that knowledge.

      It's also great news to hear about your job and the support group! I hope both of those help you and your family and I'll continue to check the thread out and send you and your family my well-wishes.
      My favorite teams are better than your favorite teams

      Watch me play video games

      Comment

      • Bullit
        Bacon is Better
        • Aug 2009
        • 5004

        #213
        Re: Worst Day of MY Life

        Hey all,

        Finally back into counseling after the Holiday breaks and went to my first meeting with a group called The Compassionate friends. This group is nice as it is all made up of parents who have lost children.

        But I will say this having two days in a row of counseling is tough. I feel wiped out today. I just feel on the verge of loosing it, I really do. I feel like everything is out of wack and my anxiety is pretty high today.

        On the plus side I went to the Cardiologist last Thursday and and did the Echo cardiogram and Stress test and was told my heart is fine and looks good. So I guess everybody was right in telling me the chest pain is normal in a grieving situation.

        One of the ladies in my group told me something in a way I had not thought about it. She said "Just imagine if you suffered physical trauma equal to the emotional trauma you are suffering, you would be in an ICU unit in the hospital. You need to relax a bit and give yourself some slack"
        And that pretty much sums it up. I hurt, emotionally, spiritually and physically, But its ok. I look for the good parts of the day, memories and feelings of good things and times with my Cricket. I have to remind myself that this is not something you get over, it is something you get thru.

        Thanks I appreciate you all
        In Loving memory of my "Cricket" 1/2/96 - 11/19/2012

        My heart and soul hurt for your lost presence in my life.

        Comment

        • ScoobySnax
          #faceuary2014
          • Mar 2009
          • 7624

          #214
          I'm glad you're doing better, Bullit. And you're absolutely right. You'll never get over it, but you will get a point where you have found peace with what has transpired.

          Take care of yourself man and we'll continue to lift you up in prayer.
          Originally posted by J. Cole
          Fool me one time that's shame on you. Fool me twice can't put the blame on you. Fool me three times, **** the peace sign, load the chopper let it rain on you.
          PSN: xxplosive1984
          Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/os_scoobysnax/profile

          Comment

          • Lieutenant Dan
            All Star
            • Sep 2007
            • 5679

            #215
            Re: Worst Day of MY Life

            Group sounds tough, but good man.

            Check your PM. Thanks for updating us, we are all on your side here and like seeing you post as often as you are able.
            GO 'HAWKS!

            OS Dibs: Anna Kendrick

            Elite Dangerous on One X has become my life.

            Proud PS5 and Xbox Series X Owner
            "Best of Both Worlds"

            Comment

            • DaveDQ
              13
              • Sep 2003
              • 7664

              #216
              Re: Worst Day of MY Life

              Originally posted by Bullit

              One of the ladies in my group told me something in a way I had not thought about it. She said "Just imagine if you suffered physical trauma equal to the emotional trauma you are suffering, you would be in an ICU unit in the hospital. You need to relax a bit and give yourself some slack"
              And that pretty much sums it up. I hurt, emotionally, spiritually and physically, But its ok. I look for the good parts of the day, memories and feelings of good things and times with my Cricket. I have to remind myself that this is not something you get over, it is something you get thru.

              Thanks I appreciate you all
              That's a good point about the physical/mental. We sometimes don't realize how strong of an impact something can have on our emotions and mental state.
              Being kind, one to another, never disappoints.

              Comment

              • Bullit
                Bacon is Better
                • Aug 2009
                • 5004

                #217
                Re: Worst Day of MY Life

                Well today is the two month mark since my Cricket has passed. I have been dreading this day all week, fearing that it would just be a really rough day. So far it has not been horrible. Sure I miss her more now than I did before but I am not just curled into a ball crying my heart out like I thought I would be. I am going in to work at the Comic book store for a few hours this afternoon so at least that will get me out of the house for a bit.

                I still cannot imagine going thru the rest of my life without my Cricket, I will because tat is the way it has to be. But I will tell you this it REALLY sucks.

                As a side not and please don't take this the wrong way. My Church has finally fixed the donation page at our website http://shpchurch.org/ to include my daughters Youth Scholarship fund. A few of you have asked and more of you have made donations. I would just like to thank each an every one of you for your friendship, support and prayers. You all have been key in helping my start on this long dark road that I have to walk. I am sure I will be posting in this thread for a long time as things move along and it is just nice to know that I have this place to come to for some peace and comfort.

                Thank you all
                In Loving memory of my "Cricket" 1/2/96 - 11/19/2012

                My heart and soul hurt for your lost presence in my life.

                Comment

                • roadman
                  *ll St*r
                  • Aug 2003
                  • 26339

                  #218
                  Re: Worst Day of MY Life

                  Thank you for sharing your ups, downs and struggles you have endured.

                  Wishing you and your family all the best going forward.

                  Comment

                  • Bullit
                    Bacon is Better
                    • Aug 2009
                    • 5004

                    #219
                    Re: Worst Day of MY Life

                    November 19, 2012 was officially the worst day of my life. This was the day that the awful nightmare began, the day all of the light left my life, my heart broke and the tears started.

                    Now it is January 19, 2013 two months later. The nightmare continues, my heart is still broken and the tears still flow, very often with now warning what so ever. To be honest the pain is still there as it will always be, but the world is not quite so dark all of the time. I have found a few moments of smiles and even the occasional laugh.
                    My soul aches along with the rest of my body,my spirit still drags on most days. But I have started the process of getting thru. I have learned the pain will always be with me, long with the sadness, but I can choose to not let it overpower me. Sometimes it may overwhelm me, but I will not let it overpower me. My Cricket would not be happy with me living in darkness and her light was too bright for me to live any other way. I know there are days that the darkness will return, the days the tears just wont stop, but that is ok to.


                    Today I choose to take the first small steps to getting thru. I am tired, physically,emotionally,spiritually and worn to the core. I start today trying to find one reason everyday why I should smile, one reason why my Cricket does not want me to be sad. Today I have to give myself a break, I can’t fix this. I have to allow myself good days as much as I allow myself bad days. Today I will try to take one step more forward than I do backwards. For my Cricket, for my heart, for my soul and for me. Today and every day I will miss my Cricket an that is OK.


                    Love and Peace to you all
                    Last edited by Bullit; 01-19-2013, 08:13 PM.
                    In Loving memory of my "Cricket" 1/2/96 - 11/19/2012

                    My heart and soul hurt for your lost presence in my life.

                    Comment

                    • DaveDQ
                      13
                      • Sep 2003
                      • 7664

                      #220
                      Re: Worst Day of MY Life

                      Originally posted by Bullit
                      November 19, 2012 was officially the worst day of my life. This was the day that the awful nightmare began, the day all of the light left my life, my heart broke and the tears started.

                      Now it is January 19, 2013 two months later. The nightmare continues, my heart is still broken and the tears still flow, very often with now warning what so ever. To be honest the pain is still there as it will always be, but the world is not quite so dark all of the time. I have found a few moments of smiles and even the occasional laugh.
                      My soul aches along with the rest of my body,my spirit still drags on most days. But I have started the process of getting thru. I have learned the pain will always be with me, long with the sadness, but I can choose to not let it overpower me. Sometimes it may overwhelm me, but I will not let it overpower me. My Cricket would not be happy with me living in darkness and her light was too bright for me to live any other way. I know there are days that the darkness will return, the days the tears just wont stop, but that is ok to.


                      Today I choose to take the first small steps to getting thru. I am tired, physically,emotionally,spiritually and worn to the core. I start today trying to find one reason everyday why I should smile, one reason why my Cricket does not want me to be sad. Today I have to give myself a break, I can’t fix this. I have to allow myself good days as much as I allow myself bad days. Today I will try to take one step more forward than I do backwards. For my Cricket, for my heart, for my soul and for me. Today and every day I will miss my Cricket an that is OK.


                      Love and Peace to you all
                      Well written. God bless you, man. What you wrote really shows me you are able to communicate your pain, and that is actually healthy for you.
                      Being kind, one to another, never disappoints.

                      Comment

                      • Lieutenant Dan
                        All Star
                        • Sep 2007
                        • 5679

                        #221
                        Re: Worst Day of MY Life

                        Originally posted by DaveDQ
                        Well written. God bless you, man. What you wrote really shows me you are able to communicate your pain, and that is actually healthy for you.
                        Amen....and God bless you Bullit.

                        Cricket wouldn't want you to feel guilty about having a laugh on your good days, either. If you ever start to deny yourself happiness like that, expect to see Cricket wagging her finger at you.

                        Thanks for posting again, Bullit!
                        GO 'HAWKS!

                        OS Dibs: Anna Kendrick

                        Elite Dangerous on One X has become my life.

                        Proud PS5 and Xbox Series X Owner
                        "Best of Both Worlds"

                        Comment

                        • roadman
                          *ll St*r
                          • Aug 2003
                          • 26339

                          #222
                          Re: Worst Day of MY Life

                          Originally posted by GT39
                          Right now! LOL I can't get my account opened up fully cause I can not send out PM's, I can't start new threads as I would like to post my Titans Franchise and I can't blog so I'm here but not given full rights as of yet.
                          Please read the thread starter (1st post) before you post.

                          Those are the rules of this site and this is a very serious thread.

                          Comment

                          • LionsFanNJ
                            All Star
                            • Apr 2006
                            • 9464

                            #223
                            Originally posted by GT39
                            Right now! LOL I can't get my account opened up fully cause I can not send out PM's, I can't start new threads as I would like to post my Titans Franchise and I can't blog so I'm here but not given full rights as of yet.
                            Totally wrong thread for this.

                            Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
                            HELLO BROOKYLN.
                            All Black Everything

                            Comment

                            • GT39
                              Rookie
                              • Jan 2013
                              • 97

                              #224
                              Re: Worst Day of MY Life

                              As a father myself my prayers go out to you and your family even though I'm new here I'm a veteran of life. I apologize for my earlier post as I did not read the first page and I meant no disrepect to any one here at OS, again I apologize.
                              NFL:--New York Giants
                              MLB:--New York Mets
                              NHL:--New York Rangers
                              NBA:--New York Knicks
                              NCAA:--Michigan Wolverines

                              Comment

                              • Bullit
                                Bacon is Better
                                • Aug 2009
                                • 5004

                                #225
                                Re: Worst Day of MY Life

                                Well folks just thought I would give a quick update. Having an up and down kind of week. Some days are ok and others I can hardly pull myself out of bed. Sometimes I just feel like I am going to pass out and that I have this huge knot in my chest and my whole body hurts. My doctor prescribed me Ativan but I have only been taking it when I really need to. They say these are anxiety attacks but to me the feel more like grief attacks. I know they say time heals but it sure doesn't feel like it some days. I am still going to counseling every week and writing in my journal. I am also trying to get more active, as a matter of fact I just got back from a walk before the snow hits.

                                Thank you all and take care.
                                In Loving memory of my "Cricket" 1/2/96 - 11/19/2012

                                My heart and soul hurt for your lost presence in my life.

                                Comment

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