Worst Day of MY Life

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Hey guys,

Its 4:30 in the morning and I just got back from taking my wife's youngest daughter to the bus station for her trip back to University and her summer internship in Paris. Sometimes doing things with and for her really make me miss Cricket even more..

Things have been going pretty well as of lately so besides the obvious I really can't complain. Just having a really hard time today and every one else is still in bed and the world is quiet. It is times like this that I am really glad OS is here. At least I can come on here and post and get it out a bit.

I just cant help but imagine the woman she would be becoming. Her first year at University would be ending now and it is just still so hard some days to go without her. It still hurts so very much but it is a pain I have learned to live with on a daily basis. I have even been happy lately and enjoying things more. We have been to a few games already this year and I can feel her at every ball park we have been to. Things are ok and I am ok with that. Just still have these dark days and I imagine I probably always will.

Thanks folks going to try and get some sleep now.

[The JareBear]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

I just read this thread from beginning to end and I couldn't help but shed a few tears at certain points. This thread has really put some things in perspective for me. I really have nothing worth complaining about. This story hits really hard, and your candor in sharing your experiences is very thought provoking and inspiring.

Have faith in your strength. I admire how you have fought on through this tragedy.

[seasprite]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Best friends daughter was killed friday night by a drunk driver, she was 19 years old. After the initial shock and absolute heartbreak for my friend and his wife, my mind immediately went back to this thread. I hope you are doing well Bullit

[jeremym480]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Best friends daughter was killed friday night by a drunk driver, she was 19 years old. After the initial shock and absolute heartbreak for my friend and his wife, my mind immediately went back to this thread. I hope you are doing well Bullit

I pretty sure I saw that on WAFF's Facebook. Either way don't drink and drive people... it's just not worth it.

[seasprite]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

I pretty sure I saw that on WAFF's Facebook. Either way don't drink and drive people... it's just not worth it.

Yeah, it was probably on there. Kid that hit her was 19 as well. Two lives ruined and two sets of family's that will never be whole ever again. Such a waste and for something so avoidable. Sorry Bullit, not meaning to hijack your thread.

[longshadow11]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Thinking about you, Bullit. I have two daughters, ages 20 and 12. My youngest and I have been praying for you.

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Just felt the need for an update.

The past week or so has been really hard. To be honest it kind of caught me off guard. I have been really struggling with anxiety and stress and missing my daughter so very much. This time of year is usually pretty rough as November and the end of year three come along.

Halloween was always a fun time around here. We were "that" house in your neighborhood. The one with the giant inflatable headless horseman, the smoke machine black lights and horror music blasting. I went to get some of the stuff out and it just hit me like a hammer in my chest. So I am not sure the decorations will go up this year. I only put a few up last year and where we live we don't get any kids anyway.

So besides the last week or so things have been still going ok. I can't say things are great but I am getting by right now and that is about all I can do. I really can't believe that its only been three years. Sometimes it still feels like it just happened yesterday and others I have trouble remembering when I didn't hurt. Thought by now the road might be a little easier, I guess some days it is. But honestly there are still days that are just hard to get through.

Well that is all for today, I will most likely post again in November on the anniversary. Hope you all are well and again thank you for letting my have this space, I really appreciate it and you.

[PVarck31]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Hang in there bro. We are here for you.

[seasprite]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Bullit, my heart breaks for you and I couldn't imagine how I could handle what you are going through. I pray for your peace and happiness and hope that God continues to shine his light on you every day.

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

So I as I come up on the 3 year anniversary of my daughters passing my wife has decided that this is not the life that she signed up for and has decided to move on.

I must say that I am completely floored by this. I feel like I have come completely out of my depression. I am working two jobs and have started my own business which is starting to really bloom. It took three years to get here and I don't see why she wont spend time getting things back on track now that they are looking better.

I don't really have any feelings of anger or ill will towards her. I know this is not what people choose, Lord knows that I didn't. If she needs to move on so be it. She really is the only one who can choose this option. No matter what choice I make my daughter is still gone and my life is still different. I refuse to go back into that darkness of my depression. Now that I feel like I am out I can see how hard life was for her.

I am going to try and buy her out of her share of the house, I really don't want to leave here as it is perfectly situated for all three of my jobs and the three dogs are mine.

I am just confused and didn't know where else to turn to get some of this out and organize my thoughts. Well just going to try and breathe, slow down and take it one step at a time.

Again, like so many other times, thank you for letting my have this space.

[Jr.]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

So I as I come up on the 3 year anniversary of my daughters passing my wife has decided that this is not the life that she signed up for and has decided to move on.

I must say that I am completely floored by this. I feel like I have come completely out of my depression. I am working two jobs and have started my own business which is starting to really bloom. It took three years to get here and I don't see why she wont spend time getting things back on track now that they are looking better.

I don't really have any feelings of anger or ill will towards her. I know this is not what people choose, Lord knows that I didn't. If she needs to move on so be it. She really is the only one who can choose this option. No matter what choice I make my daughter is still gone and my life is still different. I refuse to go back into that darkness of my depression. Now that I feel like I am out I can see how hard life was for her.

I am going to try and buy her out of her share of the house, I really don't want to leave here as it is perfectly situated for all three of my jobs and the three dogs are mine.

I am just confused and didn't know where else to turn to get some of this out and organize my thoughts. Well just going to try and breathe, slow down and take it one step at a time.

Again, like so many other times, thank you for letting my have this space.

It sounds like you have a great mindset towards her decision. I can't imagine what losing a child would do to a marriage, so I think it's very positive that you're not holding it against her. Keep your head up, bud. It sounds like things are starting to work out well for you.

[seasprite]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

You've been in my prayers a lot for a while Bullit. I hate hearing this recent development....I really have no words.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Also sorry to hear about recent developments. I can't begin to imagine what type of emotions you are going through. Stay strong.

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

I am sorry to hear about this latest news, man. I hope everything works out for you on this, as you do have good momentum going for you now and it has been hard-earned.

Keep posting as you know that you have the support of everyone here, we love ya Bryan.

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

This time of year just sucks for me, so bad. Now and this on top of it being a miserable month.

Just struggling to find any joy right now. Dealing with banks and everything as well. Trying desperately to hold onto the house. Praying for just one thing to work right for a change.

So just very overwhelmed