My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

[MassNole]

Quote: Originally Posted by The Soldier

The next time she comes over (or if she's still there), take her car and drive it into a tree.

It would make more sense for him to take a dump in her trunk

[billmatic]

hilarious.

[P2K]

Or he can buy a load of burgers and stuff 'em in her car.

That will keep the fat bitch occupied and out of the house for the weekend.

[RAZRr1275]

Quote: Originally Posted by fistofrage

We just moved into our new house and had everyone over for Thanksgiving. The day was going pretty well, the little kids didn't break anything or spill on the carpet, the adults were all getting along and having a great time. Then it happens, my wife's fat sister decides to drop a bomb in the bathroom. Of course it doesn't go down, so instead of discreetly asking for help, she decides to keep on flushing. And the toilet overflows IN OUR BRAND NEW FREAKING HOUSE. The plunger didn't seem to have made the move with us so I had to run up to the store. We don't have a mop or a bucket either. So I made my wife cut off the top of a 2 litre and bail out the cestpool of poop, shreded lettuce, corn and whatever else was floating around in our previously nice shiny toilet, afterall it was her fat sister that did the deed. So I get to the checkout and the clerk asks me how I'm doing today. I look at my plunger, bucket, and mop and tell her to take a guess how my thanksgiving is going. So I get back with the plunger and my wife had bailed all the water out and now there was just a pile of sludge that literally made me gag pasted to the toilet. There wasn't any water left in the bowl and the plunger wouldn't work so I did a partial flush which somehow filled the entire bowl up again. When I started to plung again the crap gurgled and splattered all over me. I plunged and gagged for 20 minutes to no avail. I honestly thought I might go on one of those crazy kill the family rampages. I was seeing red. Then with one final plunge the toilet swished and the greezy sludge went down. And for that I was thankful.

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! This is the most funny post I have ever seen!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rudyjuly2]

Well at least you gave me a laugh on a day when my tire went flat. I guess changing a tire is better than cleaning a clogged toilet. The NASCAR pit crews would have laughed at my pit time but what can you do with a crappy car jack.


Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy the football!

[Turbo_Squish]

That's the funniest thing I've read on here in a long time.

It also reminds me of my experience on 9/9/99. I had just picked up my new Dreamcast and NFL 2K and was about to leave the mall when nature called. Normally I avoid dropping a deuce in a public washroom at all costs, but I was facing a long ride home and had no choice. So I zip into a stall, put my great big EB bag with the DC in it on the floor, sit down and get ready to drop the kids off at the pool when the door opens and I see someone wheel by my stall into the handicapped stall beside mine.

This was followed by some commotion, some hideous noises (and aromas), and then finally a flush. And then another flush. And then a third flush. And then the words that still haunt me to this day:

"Uh oh sir, look out!"

As the son of a b**** wheeled out, his words were followed by what sounded like water (albeit chunky water) hitting the floor. I looked down to see a river of s*** flowing my way. It was surrounding my toilet, but I wasn't finished my business yet so I had to frantically lift my Dreamcast off the floor with one leg while holding the other in the air. Sitting there lifting the precious DC with one leg and trying to finish up without anything touching the floor was the most excruciating few moments of my life. When I was done I had to perform acrobatics to get to the small section of clean floor left in the stall and somehow managed to get out of there without incident. I stalked the aisles in a rage, looking for someone in a wheelchair, but I never found him.

[bkfount]

Quote: Originally Posted by Turbo_Squish

As the son of a b**** wheeled out, his words were followed by what sounded like water (albeit chunky water) hitting the floor. I looked down to see a river of s*** flowing my way. It was surrounding my toilet, but I wasn't finished my business yet so I had to frantically lift my Dreamcast off the floor with one leg while holding the other in the air. Sitting there lifting the precious DC with one leg and trying to finish up without anything touching the floor was the most excruiating few moments of my life. When I was done I had to perform acrobatics to get to the small section of clean floor left in the stall and somehow managed to get out of there without incident. I stalked the aisles in a rage, looking for someone in a wheelchair, but I never found him.

haha, you didn't follow the wet tire tracks out of the bathroom?

[Spectre]

Quote: Originally Posted by fistofrage

We just moved into our new house and had everyone over for Thanksgiving. The day was going pretty well, the little kids didn't break anything or spill on the carpet, the adults were all getting along and having a great time. Then it happens, my wife's fat sister decides to drop a bomb in the bathroom. Of course it doesn't go down, so instead of discreetly asking for help, she decides to keep on flushing. And the toilet overflows IN OUR BRAND NEW FREAKING HOUSE. The plunger didn't seem to have made the move with us so I had to run up to the store. We don't have a mop or a bucket either. So I made my wife cut off the top of a 2 litre and bail out the cestpool of poop, shreded lettuce, corn and whatever else was floating around in our previously nice shiny toilet, afterall it was her fat sister that did the deed. So I get to the checkout and the clerk asks me how I'm doing today. I look at my plunger, bucket, and mop and tell her to take a guess how my thanksgiving is going. So I get back with the plunger and my wife had bailed all the water out and now there was just a pile of sludge that literally made me gag pasted to the toilet. There wasn't any water left in the bowl and the plunger wouldn't work so I did a partial flush which somehow filled the entire bowl up again. When I started to plung again the crap gurgled and splattered all over me. I plunged and gagged for 20 minutes to no avail. I honestly thought I might go on one of those crazy kill the family rampages. I was seeing red. Then with one final plunge the toilet swished and the greezy sludge went down. And for that I was thankful.

Thread of the year. The thread title is fantastic

And Turbosquish's story is great too