Worst Day of MY Life

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Well yesterday it was a month since my Cricket left. Today is pretty rough. I am having all sorts of anxiety and heartburn. My mind is telling my everything is ok but the other part of my mind is freaking out that something is wrong.

I feel really sad and with Christmas approaching I seem to be kind of back sliding a bit. It doesn't help that her birthday is right after Christmas on the 2nd of January. I still have a present for her sitting in my dresser. I know that in the long run I am fine. My Doctor just did a physical and everything was good, cholesterol, blood pressure and stuff all good. Even had a Cat scan of my head and echo's done of my heart and everything is good. Just having my daughter pass like that in the middle of the night with no warning or knowledge of what happened has just set off this anxiety that the same thing is going to happen to me.

I'll stop now just needed to rant a bit. Hope you all have a great Holiday and please enjoy your families.

Thank you

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

It's great to hear that you got solid marks from the doctor on your health...keep up the good work on taking care of yourself and walking. You need to keep walking that stress off, and I know all about stress because I'm a world-class worry-wart.

I can understand your line of thinking on your health and what happened to your daughter. I would take your clean bill of health at face value. You have no real grounds to fear for your health based on what happened to her, as you are healthy now and if you carried a similar condition you'd think it would have visited you long ago. Don't live like that.

Just a thought on Christmas and her birthday....have some quiet time and light a candle for her on those days. I bet you'll be surprised how close she'll seem to be.

Never forget that we've all got you here, man. Happy Holidays to you and yours as well.

[slickdtc]

Well today is something I did not expect. First let me give some background. My Cricket helped teach Sunday school at Church and her favorite class was the little kids, 5-10 years old. Out of any given month she would only attend the service itself once the rest of the time she would be teaching.

When the shooting s happened in NewTown, Conn. my first image, almost instantly, was of my daughter waiting in Heaven for these poor children.

So last night I had a dream of my Cricket. She was standing with a bunch of children next to a white school bus helping them get organized and on the buses. I got a chance to hold her tight and tell her I loved her and then I woke up.

So you can interpret this any way you like as I know how I am interpreting it. My Cricket is safe and sound in Heaven, doing things she loved to do and helping other children. She knows that I love her and it will be ok. So today I have been crying alot and feel very fragile. But I also feel a little better and the world is not as dark as it was yesterday.

Thank you

That is so beautiful. See, she's not physically here but she'll always be within you. Knowing that she's looking out for you in everything you do, there is peace to be found in that.

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Having a rough time today. As it gets closer to the Holidays I just start missing her even more. I miss her smile and voice, her laugh and just her presence. I did not sleep real well last night either so I know that is part of it.

We did not put up any decorations this year. But I did get a little 2 ft tree at Target and put some purple lights (her favorite color) and put it in the dining room. Even managed to find some small decorations for it. We even went for a drive and saw some lights. It is just so hard to face this without her. All of our traditions and things we did together at this time of year is just breaking my heart all over again. From music, which was important to both of us, to our favorite Christmas shows,. I don't want to avoid these things but it hurts.

Well I am going to sign off for now, thanks everybody. Just need to vent.

[ubernoob]

It will be hard, no doubt. I don't have much else to say aside from keep chugging my brother. Don't be afraid to let others see that, and I'll keep saying extra prayers for you all.

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Hey folks,

Don't really want to face today. Christmas without my Cricket just doesn't seem to be something I want to do. The whole thing just hurts and the house is so quiet.

I wanted to just take a moment and thank you all for all of your thoughts, prayers and support. You have made a difference in our lives and we appreciate you all.From my family to yours we hope that you all have a wonderful Holiday season. Enjoy you loved ones, hug your children and know that you have made a difference in somebodies life. You are a great bunch of people and I am blessed to have you all in my life.

Thank you, Merry Christmas

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Hey folks,

Don't really want to face today. Christmas without my Cricket just doesn't seem to be something I want to do. The whole thing just hurts and the house is so quiet.

I wanted to just take a moment and thank you all for all of your thoughts, prayers and support. You have made a difference in our lives and we appreciate you all.From my family to yours we hope that you all have a wonderful Holiday season. Enjoy you loved ones, hug your children and know that you have made a difference in somebodies life. You are a great bunch of people and I am blessed to have you all in my life.

Thank you, Merry Christmas

Hang in there. When my dad died unexpectedly in October 2010, Thanksgiving and Christmas that year was extremely tough. Just try and surround yourself with friends and family. That makes it a little easier.

Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

[TheMatrix31]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Merry Christmas, Sir.

She is with you and your family---always.

[RoyalBoyle78]

I'm so sorry!!! I will pray for your family.. I'm really sorry..

Sent from Gotham!

[Happy29]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Bullit just know that I am still keeping your entire family in my prayers. I can't say that this will get easier with time because from personal experience it's something that lives with you, but the Lord does have a way of helping us through things and showing us his reason for things in his own time. Anytime you need to talk I'll be here. Love you man. God bless all of you.

[jsquigg]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Just saw this. As a father of two, I can say that I hope the peace that only God can bring comes to you and your wife in your time of mourning. Since Sandy Hook I have been restless at night in terms of how to keep my own kids safe. The reality is that you can never prepare enough, so I'm doing my best to cherish the time I have with them. Anyone can be gone in a moment, and it's good to remind ourselves to seize the day. God bless you and your family Bullit. Peace.

[Blzer]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Merry Christmas, Bullit.

Hopefully you and yours can find a way to make it through strongly.

[jeremym480]

Built, my wife and I have been praying for you and your family. If you don't mind could you please PM me either your Pay Pal info or your address? We have been blessed this year, so we would like to send a little bit of cash your way so you and your wife can go out to dinner and/or movie or you can use it for a video game or whatever. Anything to give you a little "escape"

If this is okay with you, then just PM me the info. Thanks and have a Merry Christmas.


Sent from my VS920 4G using Tapatalk 2

[Bullit]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

Well we made ot thru Christmas, now we just have to make in thru her birthday on Jan. 2.

Christmas was actually not horrible. I was sad sure and I cried a bit. But I just tried to picture and remember all of the good Holidays we had. She was such fun on the holidays. My Cricket had managed to hold on to her innocence for so long and still had very much a childish joy at the holidays. She was the only 16 year old girl that still loved holding her Dads hand. She was truly the brightness in my life and I miss her so much.

Today I am having a little anxiety attack again over things. I am fretting over my on health and just cant understand how this has happened to my daughter and I am still walking around. I know in the logical part of mind that I am ok and have the medical records to prove it. But the part of my mind that is freaking out just doesn't care about that.

Well I guess my vent is over, I really just did come on to give every an update on Christmas. Thanks for everything folks.

[Blzer]

Re: Worst Day of MY Life

I was actually really concerned about this update. Thanks for keeping us in the know, and I'm glad you pulled through! Merry Christmas!