No Brady Bunch: An alternate reality Patriot franchise (Madden 11)

[Nunyerbiz]

Sep 11, 2011 - NE at SD
TEAM	1ST	2ND	3RD	4TH	SCORE
New England (0-1)	0	13	0	17	30
San Diego (1-0)	3	24	10	7	44

Team Stats Comparison
NE		SD
385	Total Offense	428
67	Rushing Yards	137
318	Passing Yards	291
17	First Downs	19
27	Punt Return Yards	12
189	Kick Return Yards	126
601	Total Yards	566
2	Turnovers	0
5-12	3rd Down Converstion	4-11
0-1	4th Down Conversion	0-0
0-0	2-Point Conversion	0-0
2	Red Zone Touchdowns/Field Goals	5
4-36	Penalties	1-33
29:19	Posession Time	30:41

New England Boxscore
PASSING	RATING	C/ATT	YDS	TD/INT	AVG
J.Warren	74.2	23/43	325	2/2	7.5
RUSHING	ATT	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
J.Palmer	13	65	5.0	0	20
P.Hillis	4	1	0.2	1	4
W.Parker	1	1	1.0	0	1
RECEIVING	REC	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
J.Palmer	8	87	10.8	0	30
W.Welker	4	90	22.5	1	54
D.Moore	3	30	10.0	0	19
R.Gronkowski	3	43	14.3	0	22
B.Tate	2	52	26.0	1	27
J.Edelman	1	21	21.0	0	21
DEFENSE	TACK	SACK	INT	PDEF	TD
B.Merriweather	8	0	0	0	0
V.Wilfork	7	0	0	0	0
L.Bodden	5	0	0	0	0
T.Banta-Cain	4	0	0	0	0
KICKING	FGM/A	PCT	LONG	XPM/A	PTS
S.Gostkowski	3/3	100	50	3/3	12

San Diego Boxscore
PASSING	RATING	C/ATT	YDS	TD/INT	AVG
P.Rivers	134.2	21/32	291	4/0	9.0
RUSHING	ATT	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
R.Matthews	22	118	5.3	1	16
C.Williams	5	15	3.0	0	11
M.Tolbert	1	7	7.0	0	7
RECEIVING	REC	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
R.Matthews	6	31	5.1	0	11
M.Floyd	5	110	22.0	1	35
P.Crayton	4	54	13.5	1	20
N.Sears	3	55	18.3	2	37
A.Gates	2	37	18.5	0	24
C.Williams	1	4	4.0	0	4
DEFENSE	TACK	SACK	INT	PDEF	TD
D.Butler	10	0	0	2	0
E.Weddle	7	0	1	0	0
C.Thomas	1	1	0	0	0
M.Bullitt	2	0	1	4	0
KICKING	FGM/A	PCT	LONG	XPM/A	PTS
N.Kaeding	3/3	100	44	5/5	14

SAN DIEGO, CA -- The Chargers went a long way to answer questions about their team coming after a quiet offseason. Often criticized for not doing enough to replace departed free agents, the current San Diego offense looked plenty capable of electrifying. Rookie wide out Nate Sears caught two TD passes in his NFL debut, probably making many a Charger fan forget about the departed Vincent Jackson. Philip Rivers threw four touchdowns and Ryan Mattews added another TD along with 118 yards rushing in a 44-30 throttling of New England.

Nate Sears with his first NFL TD catch

"Our defense was the cocaine," said rookie Patriots defensive back Latavien Rogers, "and their offense was Lindsay Lohan's nose. They simply devoured us like they were heading to rehab in the morning."

With a horrible start in the first half for Patriots rookie quarterback Jeff Warren, the Chargers built up a 21 point lead and were never really threatened the rest of the way. Warren completed only three of his first 15 attempts and the New England offense looked inept. Late in the 2nd quarter, Warren appeared to snap out of his funk, leading the two minute drill effectively for a late TD pass.

"Things don't move this fast in Wyoming." joked Warren, referencing his alma mater when talking about his poor first half. "I think we settled down as the game went on, we felt we could score on that defense and we did. But after digging such a hole, it was going to be tough to win."

Too little, too late for Tate in the 4th

The Patriots offense played well in the second half, matching each score put up by San Deigo, but the defense was a completely different matter. The Chargers got what they wanted when they needed it. Ryan Mattews had gaping holes to run through and broke tackles when he didn't.

"Our defense was a damn embarrassment." said Pats head coach Josh Moore. "I scrapped better tacklers off the bottom of my boot during the Korean War... and those were dead communists!"

New England is missing two starting linebackers and will have to find an answer to their defensive problems quickly. The high powered Cowboys visit Foxborough next week for the New England home opener.

"We gotta figure something out." said Patriots rookie halfback Johnny Palmer, who finished with 152 total yards in his NFL debut. "If it means scoring 50 points every week to win, then that's what we'll start doing."

[Nunyerbiz]

Nunyer's Notes

Man, the Chargers handed me my own *** for the first 20-22 minutes of that game. They'd get a little pressure on a blitz, then a little pressure with no blitz, then I'd just sit in the pocket too long, or hit the wrong button like some silly chimp in a test lab... Before I know it, I'm 3 for 13 passing. ouch.

Down by three scores early in the 2nd and not passing for squat, I decided to run. Palmer broke a tackle and turned 6yds into 20. Offense started to click a bit from there and managed 10 points on the next two drives. Warren threaded a beautiful 50 yard streak to Welker, who had beaten the top cover by a step.

Second half, just traded blows. I'm actively trying to stop them at this point. Early in the game, I was letting the CPU take some defensive snaps for me as I tended to my kids. (damn kids, always crampin my style). They actually did better then me, only giving up two FGs. Anyways, I'm trying to slow down Matthews in the 2nd half... and just failing. Wilfork mans the middle well, but I am getting gouged on outside runs. I'm blaming the hurt linebackers at this point. Warren played a solid fourth quarter with nothing but the two minute offense. I like this kid.

[Nunyerbiz]

Updated: September 20th, 2011, 11:22 AM ET

Raiders devastated by injuries; sign Smith, Johnson

____________________________________________

Associated Press

OAKLAND, CA -- This wasn't supposed to how things went in Oakland this year. They brought talent to both sides of the ball and drafted surprisingly well, considering a 92 year old mummy runs the team. Things were supposed to turn around for the silver and black. Then the injuries started appearing.

Raiders fans: Get used to seeing this

Much like their decrepit owner, the Raiders are fragile. Sure, you don't have to wheel them around the team facility in a scooter like Al Davis, but this Raider team seems easy to injure. So far five players, all contributors, have fallen to potentially severe injury. Running backs Darren McFadden and Michael Bush are both out. McFadden is likely gone for two months, Bush probably 3-4 weeks. Former 1st round pick Darrius Heyward-Bey will miss 6-7 weeks with a broken collarbone. Starting defensive tackle Tommy Kelly is also gone for a couple of months. The biggest blow is rookie quarterback Chris Wessling, whose return timetable is still undecided after suffering a broken wrist in the season opener.

The Raiders are already dangerously close to salary cap limit, but have managed to bring in a few veterans. They hope they can turnaround the 0-2 start and make something respectable come out of one of the league's highest payrolls. Alex Smith realized that no long term deals were coming, so he accepted the Raiders $7 million offer for the remainder of this season, with $3 million guarenteed. Former Chief and Redskin Larry Johnson will likely be the starting HB in Oakland until Bush can return. Johnson's deal is thought to have no guarenteed money, he will likely be released once Bush can return.

Around the League

Tampa Bay linebacker Barrett Ruud will miss the remainder of the season. The former All-Pro suffered a complete achilles tendon tear in the first quarter of the week two win against Minnesota. The Bucs have signed Kevin Burnett to start at MLB. The six year pro out of Tennesee had previously played for Dallas and San Diego.

Jason Campbell suffered a herniated disk and will miss 4-6 weeks. The Vikings signed former draft pick Joe Webb for the remainder of the season. Tavaris Jackson is expected to start during Campbell's recovery.

The MRI results were negative on Joe Flacco's throwing shoulder, but he is expected to miss the Ravens week three matchup with the NY Jets. Second year man Jonathan Crompton should get the start.

[Nunyerbiz]

Sep 18, 2011 - DAL at NE
TEAM	1ST	2ND	3RD	4TH	SCORE
Dallas Cowboys (1-1)	3	0	7	7	17
New England Patriots (1-1)	3	10	3	6	22

Team Stats Comparison
DAL		NE
327	Total Offense	366
70	Rushing Yards	77
257	Passing Yards	289
16	First Downs	14
0	Punt Return Yards	6
52	Kick Return Yards	85
379	Total Yards	457
1	Turnovers	2
5-12	3rd Down Converstion	4-10
0-0	4th Down Conversion	0-1
0-0	2-Point Conversion	0-1
2/1	Red Zone Touchdowns/Field Goals	1/2
4-40	Penalties	3-25
28:48	Posession Time	31:12

Dallas Cowboys Boxscore
PASSING	RATING	C/ATT	YDS	TD/INT	AVG
T.Romo	80.3	18/33	280	1/1	8.4
RUSHING	ATT	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
M.Barber	18	65	3.6	0	10
F.Jones	3	5	1.6	1	5
RECEIVING	REC	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
M.Austin	4	80	20.0	1	29
J.Witten	3	61	20.3	0	30
D.Bryant	3	51	17.0	0	22
L.Burns	2	39	19.5	0	28
M.Barber	2	15	7.5	0	9
DEFENSE	TACK	SACK	INT	PDEF	TD
B.James	5	0	0	0	0
G.Sensabaugh	5	0	1	0	0
T.Newman	5	0	0	0	0
D.Ware	5	1	0	0	0
A.Ball	0	0	1	1	0
KICKING	FGM/A	PCT	LONG	XPM/A	PTS
D.Buehler	1/2	50.0	39	2/2	5

New England Patriots Boxscore
PASSING	RATING	C/ATT	YDS	TD/INT	AVG
J.Warren	107.1	16/22	294	2/2	13.3
RUSHING	ATT	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
J.Palmer	18	60	3.3	0	14
P.Hillis	4	7	1.7	0	6
RECEIVING	REC	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
W.Welker	4	91	22.7	2	40
R.Gronkowski	4	64	16.0	0	27
J.Palmer	4	58	14.5	0	26
W.Parker	2	48	24.0	0	25
B.Tate	1	32	32.0	0	32
P.Rorie	1	1	1.0	0	1
DEFENSE	TACK	SACK	INT	PDEF	TD
B.Merriweather	5	0	0	2	0
P.Chung	5	0	0	2	0
B.Spikes	5	1	0	2	0
V.Wilfork	3	1	0	0	0
R.Brace	1	1	0	0	0
D.Thornton	1	0	1	0	0
KICKING	FGM/A	PCT	LONG	XPM/A	PTS
S.Gostkowski	3/3	100	42	1/1	10

FOXBOROUGH, MA -- One week after looking incapable of stopping a junior varsity squad of blind and handicapped women, the Patriots defense came up big in their home opener at [INSERT CORPORATE SPONSOR HERE] Stadium. The Cowboys offense was kept off balance all afternoon, as the Patriots did just enough to capture a 22-17 victory.

"This was big for us," said Patriots head coach Josh Moore. "I didn't want us to look like the group of twinkletoe wussies that showed up last week in San Diego. We took our defensive gameplan to them all day, we wanted to stop the run and that Romo kid will piss the bed when pressured."

Welker gets loose for a 40yd score

The Cowboys ground game was never a factor. While Marion Barber looked good at times, strong pressure inside the tackles kept his average per carry to well under four yards. The passing game didn't fare much better, Tony Romo did not get into a consistent groove all day. The Patriots mixed in blitzes and full coverage looks and the Cowboys QB never looked comfortable. The pressure resulted in one interception and three crucial third down sacks to stall Dallas drives.
"Man, I just hate it when the other team tries to tackle me." said Romo, "I mean, I play really, really well when they just leave me alone and let me find my open recievers... I wish more opponents would do that."

The Patriots offense was just effective enough to win. While QB Jeff Warren looked much improved over his week one performance, he still had some questionable decisions. One of his two interceptions was a forced pass to Wes Welker in the end zone. But in the end, the Patriots passing attack took the day. For the second consecutive game, Warren found Welker on a deep streak pattern, this time leading to a 40 yard touchdown. The New England ground game still didn't fire on all cylinders. Halfback Johnny Palmer ran hard, but could only manage 60 yards on 18 carries against a stout Cowboy front seven.

The Patriots will welcome the surprising Buffalo Bills to Foxborough next week. Buffalo is 2-0 and lead by an overachieving defense which has eight sacks, four forced fumbles and two interceptions already this season. The Cowboys return home to host the 1-1 Arizona Cardinals.

Cowboys starting LOLB Anthony Spencer suffered a broken hand in the fourth quarter. He is expected out for 4-6 weeks. Twenty seven year NFL veteran Mike Vrabel has been signed for depth. Vrabel's professional career started in 1946 with the Kenosha Maroons.

[Nunyerbiz]

Sep 25, 2011 - BUF at NE
TEAM	1ST	2ND	3RD	4TH	SCORE
Buffalo Bills (2-1)	0	0	0	7	7
New England Patriots (2-1)	7	7	3	7	24

Team Stats Comparison
BUF		NE
334	Total Offense	276
86	Rushing Yards	161
248	Passing Yards	115
14	First Downs	16
0	Punt Return Yards	0
113	Kick Return Yards	41
427	Total Yards	317
2	Turnovers	0
5-11	3rd Down Converstion	9-13
1-3	4th Down Conversion	1-1
0-0	2-Point Conversion	0-0
0/0	Red Zone Touchdowns/Field Goals	3/0
3-15	Penalties	0-0
19:47	Posession Time	40:13

Buffalo Bills Boxscore
PASSING	RATING	C/ATT	YDS	TD/INT	AVG
M.Vick	109.1	17/26	248	1/0	9.5
RUSHING	ATT	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
F.Jackson	17	74	4.4	0	10
C.Spiller	5	14	2.8	0	10
RECEIVING	REC	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
S.Johnson	6	91	15.1	0	32
L.Naanee	2	28	14.0	1	21
L.Evans	2	53	26.5	0	37
B.Martinek	2	20	10.0	0	10
F.Jackson	1	23	23.0	0	23
DEFENSE	TACK	SACK	INT	PDEF	TD
K,Mitchell	6	0	0	0	0
P.Posluszny	5	0	0	0	0
K.Haskell	4	0	0	0	0
D.Edwards	4	0	0	0	0
A.Hawk	3	0	0	1	0
KICKING	FGM/A	PCT	LONG	XPM/A	PTS
R.Lindell	0/1	0	0	1/1	1

New England Patriots Boxscore
PASSING	RATING	C/ATT	YDS	TD/INT	AVG
J.Warren	106.2	9/15	115	1/0	7.6
RUSHING	ATT	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
J.Palmer	22	93	4.2	1	20
W.Parker	9	53	5.8	1	19
P.Hillis	7	12	1.7	0	8
D.Moore	1	2	2.0	0	2
P.Rorie	1	1	1.0	0	1
RECEIVING	REC	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
B.Tate	3	35	11.6	0	22
W.Welker	2	29	14.5	0	15
J.Palmer	1	11	11.0	0	11
R.Gronkowski	1	3	3.0	1	3
A.Hernandez	1	20	20.0	0	20
J.Edelman	1	17	17.0	0	17
DEFENSE	TACK	SACK	INT	PDEF	TD
B.Merriweather	6	0	0	0	0
B.Spikes	4	0	0	0	0
D.Thornton	4	0	0	0	0
T.Warren	3	2	0	0	0
M.Wright	2	1	0	0	0
KICKING	FGM/A	PCT	LONG	XPM/A	PTS
S.Gostkowski	1/1	100	46	3/3	6

Willie Parker avoids AJ Hawk for his first TD of 2011

FOXBOROUGH, MA -- Most NFL fans over the age of 60 probably loved what they saw this Sunday in Foxborough. The Patriots gameplan was three yards and a cloud of dust all afternoon, with nary a forward pass to be found. The 1950's throwback style was effective, if not terribly exciting, as New England dominated the time of posession in a 24-7 victory over the Buffalo Bills.

"Well, if we only throw the ball 10-15 times a game the rest of the way, I might get a little frustrated." said Wes Welker, who only caught two passes. "But I guess the only thing that matters is wins and losses... And after losing 11 games last year, we will run through a brick wall if it brings us the victories."

The Patriots were slow and steady in the first half. They built up a 14 point lead behind strong, if unspectacular, running from Johnny Palmer and Willie Parker. Palmer scored the first NFL touchdown of his career on a 20 yard scamper towards the end of the first half. Quarterback Jeff Warren hit a goal line touchdown pass to tight end Rob Gronkowski in the first quarter, but was largely not asked to do much. The Patriots rushed the ball 40 times for 161 yards in the game. The Buffalo defense generally played the rush well, but was clearly tiring on many drives. Taking away their ability to get after the opposing quarterback seemed to frustrate them.

"We wanted to get after the quarterback, it's what we do best." said Bills rookie linebacker Kelvin Haskell, "But the quarterback never had the ball. What the hell? Will somebody tell these clowns this is a passing league."

Naanee splits coverage for a TD

The Bills moved the ball well, outgaining New England for the game, but mistakes killed scoring chances. Fred Jackson and Michael Vick both lost fumbles in the red zone and Ryan Lindell missed a 41 yard FG attempt to end the first half. By the time Legedu Naanee caught his first TD pass as a Buffalo Bill in the fourth quarter, the outcome of the game was already decided.

"We should have been in that game at the end," said Bills QB Michael Vick, who finished with a season high 248 yards passing. "If it weren't for the mistakes, we wouldn't have been forced to abandon our gameplan in the second half. We can throw the football, but we're designed to beat you with our defense and the run. New England beat us today at our own game."

It wasn't all happy fun times for the Patriots. Tully Banta-Cain joins the long list of injured linebackers. He left the game in the third quarter with a left knee sprain. Initial reports are that he will miss 3-4 weeks. That makes three of the starting four linebackers for New England out with injury. Recent signee Philip Wheeler will step into the starting role.

"I'm not happy about this at all." said Patriots head coach Josh Moore. "Sprained knee? In my day, if you could stand, you played. A damn sprain? I want to tell the kid to change his tampon and get back on the field... but management tells me that I can't force injured players to play."

[Pezell04x]

Just read through the dynasty. I love it! I can't believe Buffalo has a win lol.

[Nunyerbiz]

Nunyer's Notes

Dallas game
I don't want to say the CPU was taking it easy on me during the Dallas game... but where in week one, Philip Rivers was getting rid of the ball quickly and shredding my secondary... Tony Romo was holding the ball forever in the pocket. Every sack and pressure I put on him was of the coverage variety. That was the biggest factor in the game, Romo not killing me through the air when he probably could have. I hit a groove in the first half with my passing attack, but beyond that, the Pats offense was rather lackluster.

Buffalo game
This was another where I would honestly say that I was outplayed. Fred Jackson looked good and Vick was surprisingly accurate. That Bills defense is the real deal as well. Their linebackers Kawika Mitchell, Paul Posluzny, free agent pickup AJ Hawk and rookie Haskell were all over the field.

I managed to avoid getting sacked in the game, but both Hawk and Mitchell hit me hard a few times as I released passes. The front line got some pressure too. Of course, it helped that three lame duck passes that floated into the air after Warren got nailed ended up being caught by Patriot recievers that I wasn't even aiming for. Two of Tate's catches and Palmer's only catch were from these lucky breaks... I think two of these ended up keeping drives alive on third down. I guess being lucky is better than being good every now and then.

It wasn't my intention to run the ball 40 times and only pass 15 times... but their pass rush was generally fierce and the longer my defense kept them off the scoreboard, the more and more I handed off. Beyond the two 20 yarders that ended up being TD runs, I didn't do much but waste clock. Throw in the two fumbles by Buffalo deep in my own territory, and what could have been a very tight game going into the 4th quarter ended up being a 17-0 lead... forcing the Bills to pass.

EDIT: Oh yea, see that screen shot above, the one where Naanee gets the TD catch? That's me jumping wildly out of the play with the Patriots defensive back going for the user pick.

Random franchise notes
I suppose it could be worse, and maybe it's just because I'm babysitting all 32 teams... but My god, these injuries are getting ridiculous. The poor, poor Raiders... Half their offense is out, they have no cap space, it's ugly. There probably another 3-4 teams that are down at least three starters each. Not sure if I will do another injury article, so figured I would mention it here in my notes. I'll probably find a way to mention any big names getting hurt, but that's about it. Still trying to figure out how I want to present the league standings and more info about the other teams. Not sure if we'll see more riveting coverage from the Versus Network or if I'll do something a little more serious and straightforward... but I'm thinking about NFL recap entries once every four weeks during the season.

[Nunyerbiz]

Quote: Originally Posted by Pezell04x

Just read through the dynasty. I love it! I can't believe Buffalo has a win lol.

Thanks man! Glad you are enjoying it.

And yea, Buffalo might just be a sleeper this year. Obviously, their division is still tough... But they have a good defense and maybe Vick can do something for them at QB. So far, he only averaged about 140 yds passing in the simmed games, but that defense has kept opponent scoring down. I'm actually not looking forward to playing them on the road later this year.