Re: Joke Thread
What the hell? Starting from post #321, these jokes have become disgusting. I feel sick.
What the hell? Starting from post #321, these jokes have become disgusting. I feel sick.
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"It may well be that we spectators, who are not divinely gifted as athletes, are the only ones able to truly see, articulate and animate the experience of the gift we are denied. And that those who receive and act out the gift of athletic genius must, perforce, be blind and dumb about it -- and not because blindness and dumbness are the price of the gift, but because they are its essence." - David Foster Wallace
"You'll not find more penny-wise/pound-foolish behavior than in Major League Baseball." - Rob Neyer -
Re: Joke Thread
Seriously, lol. That last one was gross.Comment
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Re: Joke Thread
Dallas Cowboy put-downs galore!
Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Playoffs?
A: The Dallas Cowboys
Q: How many players did the Cowboys dress for their last game?
A: 22. The rest dressed themselves.
Q: What's Jerry Jones' biggest concern?
A: Does bail money count against the salary cap?
Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.
Q: Four Dallas Cowboys are in a car. Who's driving?
A: The police.
Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore?
A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with known Felons.
I understand Chicago is trying to sign Michael Irvin. They got rid of the refrigerator and now they want a coke machine.
The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas Stadium is going to take out the artificial turf because the Cowboys play better on "grass".
The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new "Honor System".
Yes, your Honor, No, your Honor.
The Cowboys had a 8 and 8 season this year.
8 arrests, 8 convictions.
The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator; Johnny Cochran.
Q: What's the difference between a Cowboys fan and a baby?
A: Eventually the baby stops whining.
A woman in Dallas calls 911. When the officer answers the phone the woman is hysterical and tells the cop that a man has just broken into her home and she thinks he intends to rape her. The officer explain that they are just extremely busy at the moment and tells her "Just get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you."Comment
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Re: Joke Thread
Airline Pilot
The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered lot. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.
Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."
Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."
The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."
Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944.
But I didn't stop".Cowboys - Thunder - AthleticsComment
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Re: Joke Thread
An Air Force Colonel was driving in the housing area one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the officer didn't know was that a security policeman was watching the intersection. The SP pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away.
SP: "ID Card, License, registration and proof of insurance please."
Colonel: "Before I give it to you, tell me what the heck you stopped me for, *Airman*."
SP: "Watch your tone sir; you ran that stop sign back there!"
Colonel: "Airman, I slowed down, what the heck is the difference?"
The SP pulled out his night-stick and began whacking the Colonel over the head and shoulders. Bang! Bang! Whomp! Bang!
SP: "Now, Sir....do you want me to just slow down, or stop!!!?"Cowboys - Thunder - AthleticsComment
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Re: Joke Thread
Haha!"It may well be that we spectators, who are not divinely gifted as athletes, are the only ones able to truly see, articulate and animate the experience of the gift we are denied. And that those who receive and act out the gift of athletic genius must, perforce, be blind and dumb about it -- and not because blindness and dumbness are the price of the gift, but because they are its essence." - David Foster Wallace
"You'll not find more penny-wise/pound-foolish behavior than in Major League Baseball." - Rob NeyerComment
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Re: Joke Thread
Not sure if I can posts comics but who cares. LOL!Comment
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Re: Joke Thread
Cyanide and Happiness is awesome....xkcd is also great.Nintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-7009-7102-8818Comment
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Re: Joke Thread
LMFAOOO!!
That Cyanide and Happiness comic was EPIC.Comment
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Re: Joke Thread
Ok, it's been awhile, but I found this amusing:
One morning before church, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in
> the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered
> with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it.
>
> The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so
> the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly,
> "Good morning Alex."
>
> ''Good morning, Pastor, what is this?" he asked.
>
> The pastor said, "Well, son, it's a memorial plaque to all the young
> men and women who died in the Service." Soberly, they just stood
> together, staring at the large plaque.
>
> Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear,
> he asked, "Which service, the 9:30 or the 11:00?"Comment
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