Re: Michael Bay Tapped To Relaunch Live-Action TMNT Franchise
So, the Turtles are now aliens.
Shredder is a Colonel of a Special Forces Unit.
Wow, how obvious is this potential plot going to be?
I can already see it now.
EXT. PARK - NIGHT
Casey Jones walks in the park after a hockey match.
Hears a loud noise coming from the sky.
A spacecraft!
Jones runs away.
Four green aliens step out.
Sirens.
The Aliens jump into the sewers to hide.
INT. CHANNEL 6 NEWS BUILDING - DAY
Casey Jones tries to tell April - an intern at the news building - about the mysterious spacecraft.
April wants nothing to do with Casey Jones (EXES!!!)
Casey leaves, disappointed, angry. (Don't worry, he'll prove his worth later!)
April feels guilty and despite hating Casey still does what he wants (Typical powerless woman in Bay film)
INT. SEWERS - DAY
The Aliens meet a homeless man nicknamed SPLINTER by his buddies (because he's a sneaky rat!)
Splinter agrees to help them (why not? They're only aliens...)
EXT. PARK - LATER
April investigates. She doesn't find the spacecraft.
BUT WAIT!
She finds something mysterious. Something not of this earth.
April grabs it.
INT. SCHRADER'S OFFICE
News of a mysterious sighting by eye-witnesses hits Schrader's desk.
For some reason this hits home with the Colonel (But we won't tell you why just yet).
EXT. STREETS - NIGHT
<strike>Turtles</strike> Aliens are out!
Party time.
Mmmm, Pizza!
INT. SCHRADER'S DESK - DAY
More reports of Alien sightings.
SLAMS FIST! Not on his watch.
INT. APRIL'S HOME - DAY
April studies mysterious object.
Casey Jones slides through her window.
What the hell, dude?!
Argue. Argue. Casey turns to leave.
WAIT!
April shows mysterious object. (She considers kissing Casey, but it's too soon in the film).
INT. MILITARY BASE - DAY
Schrader's had enough.
<strike>Foot Clan</strike> Special Forces Assemble!
EXT. PARK - NIGHT
Turtles out for fun again. Because (no one is looking for aliens. Obviously).
UH-OH! Michaelangelo has been spotted by Special Forces!
ROUND ONE: FIGHT!
Miraculously, trained soldiers fail when Splinter jumps out and does some crazy ***-saving things.
Special Forces evacuates.
Turtles back to the sewers (Not before Raphael says something wise about Splinter's skills)
Casey Jones sees everything from behind his stalker-tree. (DUN DUN!)
INT. SEWERS - NIGHT
Turtles learn that Splinter was someone special before, you know, sewers and hiding aliens and all that.
EXPOSITION!
INT. SCHRADER'S OFFICE - DAY
I'LL GET YOU TURT...UH, ALIENS!
For the first time, audience wonders why the entire government just isn't involved.
They also realize this Special Forces squad ain't no NAVY SEALS. (For real...)
***At this point something else attacks the city.
The turtles learn some skills.
April is still super curious about the mysterious object and the mysterious Casey Jones.
Casey Jones is creeping in the sewers (because ladies like that sort of thing)
And Schrader is doing everything possible to eliminate the turtles while also deflecting news about a real threat.
Channel 6 News is all over it.
INT. SEWERS - NIGHT
Turtles are practicing their skills.
Jones meets them!
FIGHT!
But not for long because Splinter steps in and somehow has spotted Casey Jones creeping in his sewers and stalking them.
Despite all this, Casey Jones can be trusted. Because.
INT. MILITARY BASE - DAY
Schrader has assembled more soliders for his Special Forces.
Unfortunately, they all still suck except for maybe one or two guys that are most definitely using steroids or something completely illegal.
Schrader turns a blind eye.
EXT. STREETS - DAY (!!!)
Turtles fight real threat!
Turtles almost win, but threat gets away.
Everyone records the whole thing instead of running away.
April is also there. BECAUSE.
April and Casey Jones go at it (arguing, for now. The rest will come).
April fights off wanting Jones back like real bad.
Jones jumps into the sewer with Turtles (and she's okay with that).
***The world is crazy. Everyone thinks the Turtles are bad.
April tries telling her boss they aren't.
Boss tells her to shape up or she won't be a good reporter someday.
TWO JACKED SOLDIERS look for turtles. Because.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Jacked soldiers try to find turtles. Can't.
That's okay...real thread finds them instead.
Attacked!
Turtles jump out of sewers. Save them.
They aren't so appreciative.
Schrader sends Squad into sewers.
Turtles fight Squad everywhere. Sewers. Street. Buildings. Pizza shops (Mmm, Pizza!)
Real threat comes back.
Turtles must fight Military AND Threat?! (So not cool, dude).
But Casey Jones shows up!
Casey Jones puts on hockey mask.
April swoons. Kisses him. Hands Casey Jones mysterious object (Plot Development).
Everyone fights.
Turtles defeat real threat.
People are convinced.
Not Schrader.
Audience learns why this hits home. Something about his childhood or past military experience. It's sappy.
EXPLOSIONS! ("No time to be sad," said Michael Bay as cars explode and a Turtle learns that blood is red on Earth).
But Turtles win with help from Casey Jones and THE MYSTERIOUS OBJECT! Because.
Everyone loves them.
Schrader is fired (He'll be back in the sequel!).
Aliens are welcomed on Earth.
END.
So, the Turtles are now aliens.
Shredder is a Colonel of a Special Forces Unit.
Wow, how obvious is this potential plot going to be?
I can already see it now.
EXT. PARK - NIGHT
Casey Jones walks in the park after a hockey match.
Hears a loud noise coming from the sky.
A spacecraft!
Jones runs away.
Four green aliens step out.
Sirens.
The Aliens jump into the sewers to hide.
INT. CHANNEL 6 NEWS BUILDING - DAY
Casey Jones tries to tell April - an intern at the news building - about the mysterious spacecraft.
April wants nothing to do with Casey Jones (EXES!!!)
Casey leaves, disappointed, angry. (Don't worry, he'll prove his worth later!)
April feels guilty and despite hating Casey still does what he wants (Typical powerless woman in Bay film)
INT. SEWERS - DAY
The Aliens meet a homeless man nicknamed SPLINTER by his buddies (because he's a sneaky rat!)
Splinter agrees to help them (why not? They're only aliens...)
EXT. PARK - LATER
April investigates. She doesn't find the spacecraft.
BUT WAIT!
She finds something mysterious. Something not of this earth.
April grabs it.
INT. SCHRADER'S OFFICE
News of a mysterious sighting by eye-witnesses hits Schrader's desk.
For some reason this hits home with the Colonel (But we won't tell you why just yet).
EXT. STREETS - NIGHT
<strike>Turtles</strike> Aliens are out!
Party time.
Mmmm, Pizza!
INT. SCHRADER'S DESK - DAY
More reports of Alien sightings.
SLAMS FIST! Not on his watch.
INT. APRIL'S HOME - DAY
April studies mysterious object.
Casey Jones slides through her window.
What the hell, dude?!
Argue. Argue. Casey turns to leave.
WAIT!
April shows mysterious object. (She considers kissing Casey, but it's too soon in the film).
INT. MILITARY BASE - DAY
Schrader's had enough.
<strike>Foot Clan</strike> Special Forces Assemble!
EXT. PARK - NIGHT
Turtles out for fun again. Because (no one is looking for aliens. Obviously).
UH-OH! Michaelangelo has been spotted by Special Forces!
ROUND ONE: FIGHT!
Miraculously, trained soldiers fail when Splinter jumps out and does some crazy ***-saving things.
Special Forces evacuates.
Turtles back to the sewers (Not before Raphael says something wise about Splinter's skills)
Casey Jones sees everything from behind his stalker-tree. (DUN DUN!)
INT. SEWERS - NIGHT
Turtles learn that Splinter was someone special before, you know, sewers and hiding aliens and all that.
EXPOSITION!
INT. SCHRADER'S OFFICE - DAY
I'LL GET YOU TURT...UH, ALIENS!
For the first time, audience wonders why the entire government just isn't involved.
They also realize this Special Forces squad ain't no NAVY SEALS. (For real...)
***At this point something else attacks the city.
The turtles learn some skills.
April is still super curious about the mysterious object and the mysterious Casey Jones.
Casey Jones is creeping in the sewers (because ladies like that sort of thing)
And Schrader is doing everything possible to eliminate the turtles while also deflecting news about a real threat.
Channel 6 News is all over it.
INT. SEWERS - NIGHT
Turtles are practicing their skills.
Jones meets them!
FIGHT!
But not for long because Splinter steps in and somehow has spotted Casey Jones creeping in his sewers and stalking them.
Despite all this, Casey Jones can be trusted. Because.
INT. MILITARY BASE - DAY
Schrader has assembled more soliders for his Special Forces.
Unfortunately, they all still suck except for maybe one or two guys that are most definitely using steroids or something completely illegal.
Schrader turns a blind eye.
EXT. STREETS - DAY (!!!)
Turtles fight real threat!
Turtles almost win, but threat gets away.
Everyone records the whole thing instead of running away.
April is also there. BECAUSE.
April and Casey Jones go at it (arguing, for now. The rest will come).
April fights off wanting Jones back like real bad.
Jones jumps into the sewer with Turtles (and she's okay with that).
***The world is crazy. Everyone thinks the Turtles are bad.
April tries telling her boss they aren't.
Boss tells her to shape up or she won't be a good reporter someday.
TWO JACKED SOLDIERS look for turtles. Because.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Jacked soldiers try to find turtles. Can't.
That's okay...real thread finds them instead.
Attacked!
Turtles jump out of sewers. Save them.
They aren't so appreciative.
Schrader sends Squad into sewers.
Turtles fight Squad everywhere. Sewers. Street. Buildings. Pizza shops (Mmm, Pizza!)
Real threat comes back.
Turtles must fight Military AND Threat?! (So not cool, dude).
But Casey Jones shows up!
Casey Jones puts on hockey mask.
April swoons. Kisses him. Hands Casey Jones mysterious object (Plot Development).
Everyone fights.
Turtles defeat real threat.
People are convinced.
Not Schrader.
Audience learns why this hits home. Something about his childhood or past military experience. It's sappy.
EXPLOSIONS! ("No time to be sad," said Michael Bay as cars explode and a Turtle learns that blood is red on Earth).
But Turtles win with help from Casey Jones and THE MYSTERIOUS OBJECT! Because.
Everyone loves them.
Schrader is fired (He'll be back in the sequel!).
Aliens are welcomed on Earth.
END.
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