Joke Thread

[DaveDQ]

Re: Joke Thread

This is a cute little innocent joke.

A little Catholic boy really wants a bike for his birthday. He tells his mom his wish and she quickly states, "No, son. We can not buy you a bike for your birthday." Aware that he can not persuade his mom, the boy proceeds to ask his father. His father agrees with the boys mom and states, "No, Son. We can not buy you a bike for your birthday."

Frustrated, the young boy runs outside and grabs a small statue of Mother Mary his parents kept outside. He then runs inside to his bedroom, takes the statue of Mary and shoves it under his pillow. He then looks up to heaven and cries out, "Jesus, it's me...little Johnny. If you ever want to see your mom again, you better get me a bike for my birthday!"

[CMH]

Re: Joke Thread

Love Lil' Johnny jokes.

[~LiverpoolRed~]

Re: Joke Thread

There was a cruise ship that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island.There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl. They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women.

After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself.

It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course.

Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So...

They buried her.

[WTF]

Re: Joke Thread

There was a cruise ship that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island.There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl. They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women.

After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself.

It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course.

Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So...

They buried her.

YES.

[Happy29]

Re: Joke Thread

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, a blonde."The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

[dossier]

Re: Joke Thread

A man is driving a car casually when he hits a woman. Whose fault is the accident?

Spoiler

The man's. He shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

[Fresh Tendrils]

Re: Joke Thread

Ha, nice.

[Brandwin]

Re: Joke Thread

There was a cruise ship that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island.There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl. They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women.

After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself.

It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course.

Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So...

They buried her.

LOL YES!!!

[Happy29]

Re: Joke Thread

Renault and Ford, are in talks about a joint venture to build new car. They are going to use the Renault Clio, and the Ford Taurus, it`ll be called the Clitaurus, it`ll come in pink and have fur on the dash!!!

[youvalss]

Re: Joke Thread

Here's one by Dr. Marc Faber, investment analyst and entrepreneur:

"The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I've been doing my part."

[Happy29]

Re: Joke Thread

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 190,374 people are having sex rite now,212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor ole person is reading this post. You hang in there!!!

[Happy29]

Re: Joke Thread

How do you keep a fool in suspense?

[cardsfan2222]

Re: Joke Thread

How do you keep a fool in suspense?

I'm waiting... :wink:

[CMH]

Re: Joke Thread

How do you keep a fool in suspense?

I hate this joke. Everytime I hear it, no one ever tells me.

[utexas]

Re: Joke Thread

How do you keep a fool in suspense?

I'm waiting... :wink:

I hate this joke. Everytime I hear it, no one ever tells me.

They just keep me in suspense waiting for the punch line...