Joke Thread

**jeremym480** · 05-16-2010, 12:54 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Originally posted by dingleberryfinn

what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile?

IDK, What?

**dingleberryfinn** · 05-16-2010, 01:09 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Originally posted by jeremym480

IDK, What?

robin get in the batmobile

**Evan_OS** · 05-16-2010, 05:08 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Originally posted by dingleberryfinn

robin get in the batmobile

that made me chuckle.

**allBthere** · 05-16-2010, 10:35 PM

Re: Joke Thread

have you guys heard about the new corduroy pillow!?!?

**WTF** · 05-16-2010, 10:39 PM

Re: Joke Thread

nope

**dingleberryfinn** · 05-17-2010, 07:03 AM

Re: Joke Thread

hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? she had mittens

**~LiverpoolRed~** · 06-23-2010, 07:53 AM

Re: Joke Thread

Sorry if this one has been posted already. My dad sent me this last night.

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oNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-CA</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w

ontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w

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ontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><style>  </style>

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I
wish that I , and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

**ScoobySnax** · 06-23-2010, 09:30 AM

Re: Joke Thread

Originally posted by ~LiverpoolRed~

Sorry if this one has been posted already. My dad sent me this last night.

<META name=ProgId content=Word.Document><META name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 12"><META name=Originator content="Microsoft Word 12"><LINK rel=File-List href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5COwner%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsoh tmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><LINK rel=themeData href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5COwner%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsoh tmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><LINK rel=colorSchemeMapping href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5COwner%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsoh tmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><STYL E>  </STYLE>

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I
wish that I , and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

**Happy29** · 06-23-2010, 08:50 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing.

"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.

"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger," said the girl.

When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.

"Why are you crying?" asked the girl.

The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for a urine test."

**Happy29** · 06-24-2010, 06:34 PM

Re: Joke Thread

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

**~LiverpoolRed~** · 06-24-2010, 07:27 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Originally posted by bjowers29

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

Good one!

**Reaman** · 06-25-2010, 02:56 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Originally posted by bjowers29

Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing.

"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.

"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger," said the girl.

When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.

"Why are you crying?" asked the girl.

The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for a urine test."

Originally posted by bjowers29

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

**UnStOpPaBlE** · 06-25-2010, 06:02 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Have you ever seen the movie "Constipated"?

It hasn't come out yet!

**Happy29** · 06-26-2010, 03:01 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Today I heard vodka has female hormones and I think it`s true...after a few shots I start talkin crap and I can`t drive worth a damn!!!

**Happy29** · 06-28-2010, 07:02 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Why did it take a blonde 4 hours to bake chocolate chip cookies? It took her 3 to peel all the M&M's

Joke Thread

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