GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

[ODogg]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Hey guys, i'm about 2 months into my relationship with this girl Stefanie I met online. Everything is going really well except there are two things that are starting to really bug me about her, one could be big and the other is more minor (albeit still tremendously annoying).

1. I usually drink beer once a week. I've always broke out the cold ones on Fridays and just drink and play video games or watch tv. At first she seemed ok with this but now she's really pestering me with "the next one is your last" and "haven't you had enough beer tonight???" stuff. I don't know what the real issue is since I don't get abusive or angry or anything when I drink, I just get very happy and talkative and relax. I know it can be annoying for those who don't drink to be around someone who does but its usually only one night a week for me and this whole nagging thing is really starting to make me stressed each week. Which is an issue because the reason I like to drink some beer is to relax, not cause drama.

2. This one's not as big as the first but still annoying. Stefanie is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. I like these types of tv shows so I don't mind watching things like this with her. But every single time we go to watch tv, even when I've gone and rented movies, she says she wants to watch Buffy dvds. Even though I have gone and rented movies and we have 8 million things to watch on Netflix and HBO/Starz she pretty much has to watch Buffy. I did go ahead and buy Supernatural on Blu-ray and figured we could alternate between the shows so it wouldn't get so annoying to me but so far we've watched 3 episodes or so of Supernatural and we are about 2 seasons into Buffy.

So last night same stuff...Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. I told her she was really making me hate Buffy. I said I was getting pretty sick of hearing about it and being forced to watch it. So she promised next weekend we'd watch Supernatural and not Buffy. Problem is she said the same thing the past weekend. One thing I've thought of is "Well once we watch all of the Buffy's then this will stop" but now I'm thinking maybe it won't as she doesn't have TV at her house and the only thing she watches are Buffy and Charmed. I'm thinking once Buffy is done she'll start demanding we watch Charmed constantly.

Like I said, I don't have any issue watching her shows she likes and me having my shows I can suggest, but I'm starting to get pretty resentful about the fact that she's forcing me to watch this show and breaking her past promises to be more fair about it.

P.S. - We did end up watching Buffy last night....I was pretty unhappy about it too. Not because I had to watch the show but just because I feel as if I'm always being nagged into watching it.

[KG]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

How many times has she seen all the seasons?

Seems like her obsessions with that show is over the top. You might have to just simp it up and buy her a cheap TV or give her one of your old one's. I'm a big fan of separate TV's for things like this. What you gonna do when it's CFB time and you want to kick back with a few beverages and watch tOSU (lose another big game,lol)?

[deaduck]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

ODogg....

You never know about the beer thing. She might just be reacting more to something she saw in the past and worries that it's a path you're on now. The only thing that can get to the root of it is a open conversation on a MONDAY. Or any day as far away from the actual drinking/relaxing day as possible.

As for the Buffy thing, I feel you (Buffy and Charmed being two of my girls longtime favorites) but not knowing what stage of the relationship your at (beyond a timeline)...it might be too early to not "share" TV time as couple time. Having been married/together a long while, I can safely avoid VAMPIRE DIARIES without my wife thinking I don't want to spend time with her. You might not be that lucky yet.

[deaduck]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

I was reminded yesterday of something my wife does that actually doesn't irk me but upsets her that I find it funny.

My wife has a higher pitched voice and is very much a southern girl from Tennessee so when she tries to order food at local drive-in's it seems they have great difficulty understanding her. Normally, they ask her to repeat her order which frustrates her so she talks faster and her voice goes up an octave. I have watched as she's gotten to the point where only dogs could possibly hear her and most places still get the order wrong.

For some reason this cracks me up...her...not so much.

[ODogg]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

I've asked her how many times she's seen the Buffy seasons and she says she don't know. She claims she just wants me to see them and I'm fine with that but what is the rush to see them all, LOL. Oh and just to clarify, she does have a TV at her house, just not cable. All she watches at her house are Buffy, Charmed and a few other tv shows that she has on DVD. I've told her I don't know how she does it without watching regular, current TV shows but she says that she doesn't mind just watching the same shows she likes.

I agree about the drinking. In fact I've semi-addressed it when I'm not drinking, I asked her what is the deal and she really doesn't say any clear answer. She'll vaguely say "I just like you better when you're sober.." and I ask "well I'm sober 90% of the time you know" and she'll reply with "well I don't care if you drink, you just don't need to drink so much". The thing is I'm a big guy (255 pounds), I'm Irish and I've always drank beer since I can remember, so yeah I don't drink just 3 beers on a Friday, I just drink whatever I want. And now I'm a bit peeved that every time I get a beer I'm going to get a speech or chastised.

Honestly with both of these issues I worry more about the overall encompassing direction they may head for a long term relationship than the actual, particular issues. I don't want to be one of those guys who has to do everything their wife says. I know, I know..I'm willing to compromise and I know there are compromises in relationships, but at the same time what is next, like kgx2thez says, is it going to be that next I'm only "allowed" to watch the Ohio State game on Saturdays and then the rest of the football games I want to watch are off limits?

I have a friend who has been married for about 10 years and he is in a situation as I describe above, only worse. He is a Virginia Tech grad and is a HUGE college football fan but he is only sometimes allowed by his wife to watch his school play on Saturday. Usually she has a chore list for him to do and he either has to listen to the Hokies on a portable radio or he has to record it for later.

I remember thinking how bad that would be to be with someone who demands you do things exactly their way and although I don't think Stefanie is quite like that I think we all know that smaller issues when you're dating can become huge if the relationship evolves so I'm pretty worried that we're only 8 weeks into the relationship and she's already nagging me on one hand and telling me how things are going to be on the other.

I've talked about these with my good friend and he thinks I should just tell her I want to go back to open dating and maybe date some other women and back off a bit on the relationship but I'm not sure. I really like her and don't want to end anything (which that could do) but I'm pretty worried about the way things are heading so soon. I don't mind compromise but it seems we are heading down the road of doing everything her way and I don't want to end up having a partner where she runs everything and the things she don't she will nag me until I relent until she does.

[KG]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Ah...the Saturday vs Sunday dilema.

It's tough if you're a fan of both. I just tell my lady that when FSU is on I will not be doing anything mundane (something that can be done at a later time). 3 free hours on a Saturday 11-12 times a year is not asking for much. Sundays when the Skins are on is already off-limits.

I guess I just don't understand how someone could watch an old TV-show like that over & over. I watch Seinfeld even though I've seen most of them but I would never watch them on DVD.

[The GIGGAS]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

I have a friend who has been married for about 10 years and he is in a situation as I describe above, only worse. He is a Virginia Tech grad and is a HUGE college football fan but he is only sometimes allowed by his wife to watch his school play on Saturday. Usually she has a chore list for him to do and he either has to listen to the Hokies on a portable radio or he has to record it for later.

This paragraph jumped out at me.

No woman is is gonna make me miss the ****ing Hokies. That's just ridiculous. I've already made a pact that there are ~6 hours in the weekend where I have to watch the games. The rest of that time, I can clean the gutters or whatever the **** she wants. She does not come before football.

Luckily, my fiance seems to like football as well. So I think I'm in the clear (of course, now that I've said this, as soon as we get married, she's going to become megabitch).

[ODogg]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

You know I told Orlando - why don't you do that stuff during the week so you can free up your weekends? He said "well she wants our projects done "right" she said and during the week since I have less time with work and all she believes I cut corners or just won't get it done as good as I will if I have the entire day to work on it".

Honestly I don't know how well this football thing is going to fly. She's not unreasonable a lot of the time, she did allow me to watch some FIFA World Cup and slept through it. But when we first started dating she seemed fairly open to things she is no longer open to anymore, such as watching movies I like which she is not familiar with.

I agree about watching the same things over and over. Don't get me wrong, I watch Seinfelds here and there, usually a couple a week. But I cannot imagine sitting every night and watching Seinfelds one right after another and then doing the same thing the next night and etc etc.

I've come up with several ideas, but not sure how feasible they are. One is to just tell her she can pick anything on Friday to watch and I will pick everything on Saturday. Another is alternating, I pick one show, you pick one show, that sort of thing. It seems pretty weird though IMO that we would have to restort to that instead of just agreeing like adults on what to watch. But I may have to because I am not one for arguing or throwing a fit but I also am not someone who is always going to be relenting just because I don't want to disagree.

And this leads to another thing, she has been, for about the past month or so, coming over and staying at my house every weekend. Maybe it's just as simple as her not staying the entire weekend...the only thing is I'm not sure how one backs off of that. I mean what am I supposed to say to alleviate that "hey don't come over on Friday because I'm going to do my own thing"? LOL, that will go over well.

I broke up with my last g/f because I told her I was having some friends over and don't come over this upcoming weekend...she did anyways and I was like, that's it. Is there any acceptable method to asking for a night to yourself without making your g/f angry when you're at the stage that I'm at with her??

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

You know I told Orlando - why don't you do that stuff during the week so you can free up your weekends? He said "well she wants our projects done "right" she said and during the week since I have less time with work and all she believes I cut corners or just won't get it done as good as I will if I have the entire day to work on it".

Honestly I don't know how well this football thing is going to fly. She's not unreasonable a lot of the time, she did allow me to watch some FIFA World Cup and slept through it. But when we first started dating she seemed fairly open to things she is no longer open to anymore, such as watching movies I like which she is not familiar with.

I agree about watching the same things over and over. Don't get me wrong, I watch Seinfelds here and there, usually a couple a week. But I cannot imagine sitting every night and watching Seinfelds one right after another and then doing the same thing the next night and etc etc.

I've come up with several ideas, but not sure how feasible they are. One is to just tell her she can pick anything on Friday to watch and I will pick everything on Saturday. Another is alternating, I pick one show, you pick one show, that sort of thing. It seems pretty weird though IMO that we would have to restort to that instead of just agreeing like adults on what to watch. But I may have to because I am not one for arguing or throwing a fit but I also am not someone who is always going to be relenting just because I don't want to disagree.

And this leads to another thing, she has been, for about the past month or so, coming over and staying at my house every weekend. Maybe it's just as simple as her not staying the entire weekend...the only thing is I'm not sure how one backs off of that. I mean what am I supposed to say to alleviate that "hey don't come over on Friday because I'm going to do my own thing"? LOL, that will go over well.

I broke up with my last g/f because I told her I was having some friends over and don't come over this upcoming weekend...she did anyways and I was like, that's it. Is there any acceptable method to asking for a night to yourself without making your g/f angry when you're at the stage that I'm at with her??

If she's suffocating you, you gotta let her know. Do it sooner rather than later the longer you wait the more it's going to bother you.

Also agreed with the poster that said get her a tv. A 19" LCD HDTV is under $200.

Me and my gf have had a similar conversation about tv watching. I absolutely hate watching QVC. Now we just watch different tvs in separate rooms.

Be careful what you wish for. I went from having my gf 10 min away and always around to 2 1/2 hrs and always busy (she's in tech school). Maybe see her once a month. This weekend will be the first time we've seen each other since May.

[ODogg]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to have a talk about it, again...but this time more serious. I've been depressed about this all day really. I'm actually dreading the weekend because of these issues now. And I'm sitting here trying to figure out a way to get out of seeing her. I also can't lie that I'm considering that I may have to break up with her too, although obviously that's a last resort.

And in regards to the beer drinking aspect...as I was sitting here just now I started wondering, if she wanted a non-drinker I wonder why she didn't just put that in her online dating profile? Because if that's what she wanted she could have saved herself a lot of grief and we'd have never met. I asked her if her dad or former boyfriends or someone was an alcoholic and she said no so I don't really know where it comes from, other than she just doesn't like to be around someone who drinks at all.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to have a talk about it, again...but this time more serious. I've been depressed about this all day really. I'm actually dreading the weekend because of these issues now. And I'm sitting here trying to figure out a way to get out of seeing her. I also can't lie that I'm considering that I may have to break up with her too, although obviously that's a last resort.

And in regards to the beer drinking aspect...as I was sitting here just now I started wondering, if she wanted a non-drinker I wonder why she didn't just put that in her online dating profile? Because if that's what she wanted she could have saved herself a lot of grief and we'd have never met. I asked her if her dad or former boyfriends or someone was an alcoholic and she said no so I don't really know where it comes from, other than she just doesn't like to be around someone who drinks at all.

So she doesn't want you to drink at all? Or is it just around her?

Either way...She's being totally unrealistic if you're just drinking to chill and not getting drunk.

[ODogg]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

At first she said nothing, even if I drank beer all night. Now after I drink about 3 she starts asking me if I've had enough. I don't even feel anything until i'm 4 or 5 beers in. She doesn't want me to drink around her I guess, although she denies that and just says she doesn't want me to drink "so much". As I said before, I can drink more than the average person so drinking 10-15 beers in a night and just getting buzzed is pretty much par for the course.

I don't ever get wasted around her or anything, like sick and falling down or anything. Which is why I really don't see the issue. Other than she simply doesn't like being around someone who's not sober and acts more goofy or whatever (we've all been sober and been around someone drinking, yes they can come across rather daft sometimes).

I just get highly annoyed with all the "how many does that make for you?" and "ok, this is your last one isn't it?" crap. I've tried to get her to drink some with me but she is a lightweight and the one time she had 2 wine coolers she got sort of sick (or so she claimed, I wonder if it was just her way to say the "see i tried to drink with you" argument.

Oh and I actually found myself sneaking in some vodka shots this past weekend to try not to have to drink so many beers in front of her and still be able to relax and get a bit of a buzz. Yes I'm sneaking around now like an underage kid. And the irony is I'll get far more drunk hitting vodka shots between beers than I would ever get just nursing beers throughought the night... Besides, I shouldn't have to be sneaking around drinking like that, it's pathetic for a 40 year old man to be doing that I think.

I told her when she wanted to watch Buffy the other night that I would watch as much Buffy as she wanted if she would just allow me to drink in peace, LOL. Oh geesh, I dunno...I'm going home. I feel like I could use a beer now.

[Stumbleweed]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

At first she said nothing, even if I drank beer all night. Now after I drink about 3 she starts asking me if I've had enough. I don't even feel anything until i'm 4 or 5 beers in. She doesn't want me to drink around her I guess, although she denies that and just says she doesn't want me to drink "so much". As I said before, I can drink more than the average person so drinking 10-15 beers in a night and just getting buzzed is pretty much par for the course.

I don't ever get wasted around her or anything, like sick and falling down or anything. Which is why I really don't see the issue. Other than she simply doesn't like being around someone who's not sober and acts more goofy or whatever (we've all been sober and been around someone drinking, yes they can come across rather daft sometimes).

I just get highly annoyed with all the "how many does that make for you?" and "ok, this is your last one isn't it?" crap. I've tried to get her to drink some with me but she is a lightweight and the one time she had 2 wine coolers she got sort of sick (or so she claimed, I wonder if it was just her way to say the "see i tried to drink with you" argument.

Oh and I actually found myself sneaking in some vodka shots this past weekend to try not to have to drink so many beers in front of her and still be able to relax and get a bit of a buzz. Yes I'm sneaking around now like an underage kid. And the irony is I'll get far more drunk hitting vodka shots between beers than I would ever get just nursing beers throughought the night... Besides, I shouldn't have to be sneaking around drinking like that, it's pathetic for a 40 year old man to be doing that I think.

I told her when she wanted to watch Buffy the other night that I would watch as much Buffy as she wanted if she would just allow me to drink in peace, LOL. Oh geesh, I dunno...I'm going home. I feel like I could use a beer now.

Heh... you, sir, need a bigger glass. Get one of those exaggerated German beer steins and drink 3 or 4 of those then call it quits ha.

[ODogg]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

That's a great idea, LMAO!! You know I actually did something similar to that a couple weeks ago. I told her I was only going to have 2 or 3 drinks and then I poured like a drink with 80% vodka and a dash of cranberry juice in it. And the glass was not clear so you couldn't see it. I only had 2 drinks that night but it was probably about 12 shots of vodka.

The irony is I got relaxed, caught a good buzz, didn't get too drunk. She didn't say one word about the drinking and seemed happy I didn't drink "as much". If only she knew....LOL...the only issue with always doing that is I don't always like to drink hard liquor and secondly you really can get knocked on your butt by that stuff if you've not had much to eat, that sorta thing. Kinda playing with fire there...

[Stumbleweed]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

That's a great idea, LMAO!! You know I actually did something similar to that a couple weeks ago. I told her I was only going to have 2 or 3 drinks and then I poured like a drink with 80% vodka and a dash of cranberry juice in it. And the glass was not clear so you couldn't see it. I only had 2 drinks that night but it was probably about 12 shots of vodka.

The irony is I got relaxed, caught a good buzz, didn't get too drunk. She didn't say one word about the drinking and seemed happy I didn't drink "as much". If only she knew....LOL...the only issue with always doing that is I don't always like to drink hard liquor and secondly you really can get knocked on your butt by that stuff if you've not had much to eat, that sorta thing. Kinda playing with fire there...

You could also switch the beer selection up to something like this:

http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/30/28204

15% ABV Mephistopheles' Stout from Avery ha... you'll be buzzed with 3 of those bad boys unless you're some kind of beer-fueled monster.