GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

[ODogg]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Wow, that looks awesome!! I wonder where I can get some of that at??

[The GIGGAS]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

some kind of beer-fueled monster.

You called?

[Stumbleweed]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Wow, that looks awesome!! I wonder where I can get some of that at??

It's everywhere here in Colorado since they're local, but Avery is a pretty big brewery for a micro and I'd imagine it's in . The BeerAdvocate locator thing might help you in the search. What state are you in? Ohio?

But yeah, seriously you might just look at an upgrade in ABV for your beers -- I notice a HUGE difference from drinking some swill like Coors Light to even a normal 7%ish microbrew... where 6 Coors will get me buzzed, I'm buzzed after 2 of the others...

EDIT: LOL @ Giggas

[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Yeah I don't get that stopping beer in your house thing when she knew from the beginning you drink. That is like me telling my wife to stop smoking when I already knew she smokes.

Now far as the Buffy thing, that is nuts. That is why we have multiple tv's in our house. I mean hell Odogg, you just got NCAA 11, what if she now wants to watch Buffy when you trying to play your game ?

Nip it in the bud now, because if you try to do it 6 months from, she will pull that well you use to listen to me before stunt on ya.

[ODogg]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Yeah I don't get that stopping beer in your house thing when she knew from the beginning you drink. That is like me telling my wife to stop smoking when I already knew she smokes.

Now far as the Buffy thing, that is nuts. That is why we have multiple tv's in our house. I mean hell Odogg, you just got NCAA 11, what if she now wants to watch Buffy when you trying to play your game ?

Nip it in the bud now, because if you try to do it 6 months from, she will pull that well you use to listen to me before stunt on ya.

Dude, that's what we did all day Saturday and last night (watched Buffy) . I didn't get any NCAA 11 in after she woke up Saturday afternoon. I'm just very depressed about all of this, I'm seriously thinking it just may not work if she is dead set on not allowing me beer or to do other things I enjoy like 360 and stuff. Hell I'm 40 years old, I may just be too set in my ways for a woman at this point.

Sorry to take this thread in the more heavy direction than it was intended.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Dude, that's what we did all day Saturday and last night (watched Buffy) . I didn't get any NCAA 11 in after she woke up Saturday afternoon. I'm just very depressed about all of this, I'm seriously thinking it just may not work if she is dead set on not allowing me beer or to do other things I enjoy like 360 and stuff. Hell I'm 40 years old, I may just be too set in my ways for a woman at this point.

Sorry to take this thread in the more heavy direction than it was intended.

2 tvs should settle the buffy thing...seriously. Jay-Z said it best "only time we don't speak is during sex in the city" ....obviously you substitute in buffy.

[mgoblue]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Dude, that's what we did all day Saturday and last night (watched Buffy) . I didn't get any NCAA 11 in after she woke up Saturday afternoon. I'm just very depressed about all of this, I'm seriously thinking it just may not work if she is dead set on not allowing me beer or to do other things I enjoy like 360 and stuff. Hell I'm 40 years old, I may just be too set in my ways for a woman at this point.

Sorry to take this thread in the more heavy direction than it was intended.

Yeah, I've been there before...It sucks...

Just gotta be open about things. I'm lucky this gf that she's into college football (Ohio St. fan from Ohio lol) so she'll be into watching that (as well as some pro stuff). She seems pretty open if I need time to do something, though due to schedules and whatnot we usually only hang out two nights a week and just talk on the phone other nights.

Whatever you do, don't let this stew and wait for a month or longer...it won't get any easier and you'll really start to resent her. Deal with it now, and if you can't work it out oh well.

[Stumbleweed]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Yeah man, sounds like there needs to be a talk. Basically it seems like you need to come to some sort of compromise on the TV/Buffy stuff, as that is pretty ridiculous for either person to monopolize the entertainment in the house. Basically I'd say:

1. You either need to get another TV that she (or you) can use when she's over and just wanting to watch TV while you are set on doing something else. If she's not down for that arrangement, then it might be trouble because it basically means that she wants control over even small unimportant things in your life. Yeah it's not good to always be in separate rooms watching your own shows, so keep that arrangement in moderation... but it seems like that's the only way to reach some middle ground on that.

2. The beer thing is touchier because she does have legitimate reasons for being worried about someone who can plow through a 12-pack in a night (Irish heritage/body mass matters, but that's still a lot). It's possible that she's had a bad experience with someone (even her Dad or another family member) who was an alcoholic and simply is nervous about that outcome or even a bad situation where she sees you as "out of hand". It might also just be another control issue for her similar to the TV thing, in which case I think that's a problem. But just talk to her and see where it's coming from -- she's not against you drinking totally, but it seems to me that she gets nervous or uncomfortable when it gets past a certain point... whether it's a consistent or definable point is inconsequential, it's clearly making her uncomfortable for whatever reason.

That said, drinking added vodka in your beers is NOT a solution and if you told her you were doing that, she'd probably be even more worried because it could seem like you're trying to drink yourself into enjoying her company or something (just the way things can be construed)... or that you're actually an alcoholic, which it doesn't seem like to me as "random internet dude". I'd honestly say that you simply drink that much on weekends and it's something you've always done -- explain the tolerance thing (honestly as a child of an alcoholic, that uber-tolerance thing would make me a bit nervous too), tell her that if you are ever out of control of she's genuinely worried to communicate that to you. It might be a good self-check for you to keep things in control too...

But yeah, if she doesn't have good reasoning or a well thought-out response to why it's such a big deal (the drinking mainly, but also the Buffy weirdness), I might chalk it up to her being too controlling. And if that's something you can't deal with at this point in your life, then it might be time for a tough decision... best of luck with it.

[Jonesy]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Great post Stumble (i seem to say/think that a lot lol). I agree that if these things are coming from a real area of concern for her fair enough but if it's a control thing, well no thanks. No offense O but those are some scary signs 8 weeks in. Like the guys have said you need to get it sorted sooner rather than later. Screw having to sneak drinks in your own house like a teenager and not watching the sport you love when you are 40yo man! (no DC )

I would rather be single for life than have to live my every moment catering to another person's whim's and needs. I love my wife but if i want to drink i do, if i want to watch football i do. It's the same for her as well. I simply refuse to watch that buffy / vampire diaries / gilmor girls crap but i don't have a problem with her doing it. Hell i even buy her the series as gifts, it just means more nba 2k10 and RDR for me. A 'healthy' relationship is a partnership of two equals not a place where one person is using dominance to assert their will over another.

[ODogg]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Yeah man, I'm pretty miserable right now. She's texting me and honestly I'd rather just ignore it but I don't want to get started into what's the issue now when we'd end up on the phone and all that crap.

Honestly I feel like I'm in an episode of Seinfeld where he (Jerry or George) discovers the "flaw" and decides it has to end, LOL. I guess I'll talk to her about it but honestly I doubt anythings going to change.

[Buckeye]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Yeah man, I'm pretty miserable right now. She's texting me and honestly I'd rather just ignore it but I don't want to get started into what's the issue now when we'd end up on the phone and all that crap.

Honestly I feel like I'm in an episode of Seinfeld where he (Jerry or George) discovers the "flaw" and decides it has to end, LOL. I guess I'll talk to her about it but honestly I doubt anythings going to change.

Do what you feel is best in this stage of life you should be able to do whatever you want you know what I mean?

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Yeah man, I'm pretty miserable right now. She's texting me and honestly I'd rather just ignore it but I don't want to get started into what's the issue now when we'd end up on the phone and all that crap.

Honestly I feel like I'm in an episode of Seinfeld where he (Jerry or George) discovers the "flaw" and decides it has to end, LOL. I guess I'll talk to her about it but honestly I doubt anythings going to change.

Until you say something, she won't know it's bothering you. at least to this extent. some girls require you to spell out everything. and don't be wishy-washy about it when y'all do have the conversation.

[Jonesy]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Yeah man, I'm pretty miserable right now. She's texting me and honestly I'd rather just ignore it but I don't want to get started into what's the issue now when we'd end up on the phone and all that crap.

Honestly I feel like I'm in an episode of Seinfeld where he (Jerry or George) discovers the "flaw" and decides it has to end, LOL. I guess I'll talk to her about it but honestly I doubt anythings going to change.

Just talk to her about it and be truthful. No point getting all down in the dumps about it if you haven't had an open and frank discussion about it yet. Don't be in too much of hurry to throw away a good thing but at the same time you have to be real with yourself as well.

Before i say the next bit i wanted to add:

NOTE: ADVICE FROM A DUDE FROM AUSTRALIA ON THE INTRAWEZ IS PROBABLY NOT THE BEST PLACE TO GET ADVICE FROM

If it were me i would sit her down and say "Steph, i really enjoy spending time with you but seeing as I am a 40 year old man and kinda set in my ways i am having a bit of a hard time with a few things."

I would try to keep it light:

"Firstly like i said i love spending time with you but i seriously cannot take anymore of this buffy craziness. I think 90% of the male population would agree with me (10% of the men in the world are gay apparently so that is why i chose that number ) that i seriously can't watch endless episodes of that show. I realise you love it and that's fine but I think to preserve both of our sanity once football seasons starts we are probably going to need two tv's".

"The second issue is the drinking thing. I'm not an alcoholic and i'm not suddenly going to turn into one just because i like to have some beers to unwind on a friday night. I want to be able to enjoy that time with you and not feel like i am being judged because of it. Besides baby, it's in my blood, i'm IRISH for crying out loud!"

Hope it works out for ya buddy.

[phillyfan23]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

You are a very patient guy Odogg, and I'm not trying to sound like a machismo or anything, but you have to stand up to her. That's all there is to it. Women love to see how far they can go and if you let them, you will end up like your friend who can't watch his Hokies games. Believe it or not, a woman with a good head on her shoulders likes it if a man takes charge more often, in ANY circumstances (if you catch my drift).....

there is no need to show anger or disappointment just yet but when you speak to her don't sugarcoat it and let her know that this ain't cool and it'd be a shame because it seems you do like her quite a bit.

It's good that you have pinpointed this as a potential big problem, because it is, 2 months is still very early to put your foot down and let her know what's up. What women don't seem to realize is , especially if they have a good hearted man like yourself, the more they give in, the more they will benefit in the long run. Just look at your situation now, you don't want to exactly go out and buy her a necklace right now and take her to a nice restaurant , right? Imagine if she didn't control you with buffy and beers, I'm sure she'd have a nicer weekend.

It's happened with me and my wife, she's GENETICALLY hard headed, but with some work, she was tamed hehehe and our relationship is rocksteady. She still has her bitch moments, but that's a given and you have to let them moan and nag sometimes too, it's just in their nature, but develop that solid base from very early on and if that STILL fails and seems like you're talking to a brickwall....like someone said....time for a tough decision.

good luck on the talk odogg.....

[ODogg]

Re: GF's, Wives, In-laws & the things they do that make you go what the hell ?

Thanks for all the great advice guys, I don't know what I'd do without this site sometimes!! I'll talk to her Friday night (I'm not drinking this Friday due to my buddy's coming over Saturday for some NCAA 11 and beers, and like I said I'm pretty much a one-drinking night a week guy). I think what you guys say is correct, i'm a nice, easy-going guy and she probably sees that and thinks that she can pretty much just make me the "perfect guy" by taking care of me drinking no more than 3 beers in a sitting and watching Buffy constantly.

I also don't like confrontation and/or arguing as it's just not in my nature. My mom says that's why sometimes people walk all over me is because of it. But if any woman thinks that because that's my nature I will end up being a husband like my friend who is doing projects on the weekends while his Hokies play and he misses them then they are sadly mistaken. Because as others have said in this thread, if that is how I'll end up then I'd sooner end up being single.

So anyways, I will definitely talk to her and frame it in the way Jonesy said (thanks btw for the advice on how to approach it, that's kind of what I was thinking myself) and let all you cats know what happens. The Buffy thing I think can be fixed easier, but like I said, 2 TVs isn't going to resolve it because she wants me to watch it with her. Which like I said, I have no problem watching an episode or two of Buffy a week but we will do that on Friday and then Saturday she's like "hey you know what she should do? fire up some Buffy!" and I'm like...uhhh no. But she always ends up badgering me into doing it.

That issue I don't see as a big a problem as the drinking aspect simply because a tv show isn't as big of an issue as alcohol can be but I still think it harkens back to what some of you have said about control so I need to work on that issue as well. I don't really plan to address that though in our "talk" as I think that's something that can be more addressed in conversation about TV and how we need to make it more balanced.

I will let you guys know what happens. Thanks again for all of you who took the time to write some very insightful posts.