Joke Thread

[WTF]

Re: Joke Thread

Any new ones from anyone? Let's get this thread back up top

[ILLCHILL]

Re: Joke Thread

The Giants have a realistic shot at winning the Superbowl.




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ZING

[superjames1992]

Re: Joke Thread

The Giants have a realistic shot at winning the Superbowl.




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ZING

Well, judging by their performance in week 17, I'd say they do certainly have a chance to win.

[The 24th Letter]

Re: Joke Thread

oldie

Q- What do you call a cow w\ no legs?
A- Ground Beef

[ohyeahbaby123]

Re: Joke Thread

Ok

An old couple are sitting in bed watching TV, when the wife says, "Honey, go get me some ice cream."
The man gets up, and starts to head downstairs.
"Don't forget the sprinkles, whip cream, and chocolate syrup," she says.
"I won't", he replies.
"You should write it down, because you are a very forgetful person."
"NO! I won't forget it!" the husband shouts back.

So five minutes later, the husband comes back up with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife then says.
"I can't believe you, you forgot the toast!"

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Joke Thread

From Eddie Murphy Delirious:

A bear and a rabbit are both taking a crap in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says "Excuse me, do you have trouble with crap sticking to your fur?"

"No" says the rabbit.

So the bears wipes his *** with the rabbit.

[Pared]

Re: Joke Thread

The Giants have a realistic shot at winning the Superbowl.




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ZING

Who's laughing now!

[oakfan162]

Re: Joke Thread

Who's laughing now!

What a thread bump! lol

[Pared]

Re: Joke Thread

I was reading all the jokes here and came across that. Couldn't resist! Was probably funnier than anything here...

...although I did like that one golf joke.

[dkgojackets]

Re: Joke Thread

Strong bump.

[ILLCHILL]

Re: Joke Thread

No need

[youvalss]

Re: Joke Thread

Hope no1 told it before and hope I tell it correctly:

One guy gets into a bar in the 20th floor of a hotel and tell another guy sitting by the bar: "Look, there's this drink that I like to drink and then I can jump off the window and nothing happens to me". So the other guy says: "Yeah, right, prove it!". So the first guy asks the bar tender to fill his glass, drink it all and then jumps out of the window. After a few seconds he comes back like nothing happened, leaving the other guy shocked. So the other guy asks for the same drink, drinks it, jumps out of the window and dies. So the bar tender tells the first guy: "Superman, you're a real jerk when u're drunk!".

[NYG_Meth]

Re: Joke Thread

Hope no1 told it before and hope I tell it correctly:

One guy gets into a bar in the 20th floor of a hotel and tell another guy sitting by the bar: "Look, there's this drink that I like to drink and then I can jump off the window and nothing happens to me". So the other guy says: "Yeah, right, prove it!". So the first guy asks the bar tender to fill his glass, drink it all and then jumps out of the window. After a few seconds he comes back like nothing happened, leaving the other guy shocked. So the other guy asks for the same drink, drinks it, jumps out of the window and dies. So the bar tender tells the first guy: "Superman, you're a real jerk when u're drunk!".

That's a much cleaner version than the one I know.

[slickdtc]

Re: Joke Thread

Warning: Lewdness

Ok so a guy is sitting on a bus. He looks over and there is this gorgeous nun sitting next to him. Nice hair, face, and you can tell she has a nice rack. So he leans over and asks her straight up if she wants to have sex with him. Well the nun, being a child of god, is nice and just tells him no. At the next stop she gets off the bus because she is creeped out.

The guy gets off the bus a few stops later. As he is getting off the bus, the bus driver says "hey you wanta know how to land that nun?". And the guy says "hell yea". The bus driver tells him that on tuesday nights she goes to this graveyard to visit a family member that died. He told him to put on a big cloak, paint his face neon green, and show up at the graveyard and tell her you are god and she will have sex with you.

So he goes to the graveyard, sees the nun, and tells her "I am god, have sex with me". Well the nun says "Well, ok. But I am saving my virginity in this life, so we can only do it anally." He says ok and they have anal sex.

When the guy is done, he stands up, rips off his cloak and says "Ha!! I'm the guy on the bus!" The nun stands up, rips off her cloak and says "Ha! I'm the bus driver!!!!"

This is my favorite.

[Rainey]

Re: Joke Thread

This is my favorite.

That's so gross lol